Strollerderby : Alpha Mom

Strollerderby Playdate: Redshirting

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:02:00 GMT

Redshirting - aka Keeping Your Kid In Preschool An Extra Year So He Will Be The Biggest, Baddest Superstar In Kindergarten History - is a big topic around my house. My sister - who, with her husband and two boys, lives with me and my family - is currently considering whether she should hold back her oldest son, whose birthday is August 31, one day before our district's September 1 cutoff. And apparently, she's not the only one invested in this debate. My friend Lauren sent me a link to a Babycenter discussion board she participates in that includes almost 600 posts about the advantages and disadvantages of redshirting.

So I was really interested in this thoughtful post about redshirting by Alice Bradley on Alpha Mom. If, like my sister, you don't want to hold your kid back but are afraid he will be disadvantaged if you don't, there's some reassuring links to studies that indicate the advantages of redshirting disappear after a couple of years. Other reports suggest that redshirted kids are more likely to end up in special ed, and are more likely to have discipline problems. Which hardly comes as a shock - not only does this group include kids bored to tears by a curriculum geared to kids more than a year younger than they are, but it also counts children held back because of legitimate social and emotional delays.

Bradley closes with the issue at the core of the redshirting debate: if redshirting benefits your child by giving him a cognitive and physical advantage over his classmates, but does so at the obvious expense at other children, is it fair? And should that be a concern of parents - who, let's face it, are genetically programmed to advance their children over the competition at all costs?

I'm just glad I don't have to make this decision.

Mom Likes Sick Kids and Lice

Madeline Holler — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:29:00 GMT

An AlphaMummy at the Times lists all the stuff she thought she would hate about parenting but turns out to have enjoyed. I'm so not relating.

I mean, she lists "taking care of sick kids" at No. 1. I would say that's one of the things I wasn't looking forward too, and for good reason: it's far worse than I ever imagined (Mommy's a little sleep-sensitive.)

What else has unexpectedly brought her joy: the smell of her kids dirty pants and picking through their hair for lice. Seriously? I think I might be jealous. As for dirty pants, I'm neutral, but wouldn't it be great if I loved them? The lice, though, forget it. Granted, I have no experience there yet, but I can't imagine it being the least bit, as she describes it, "satisfying" (Mommy's also got bug issues.)

This AlphaMummy also likes helping with homework (makes her feel smart), coloring, instructing her kids in "hard-core feminism" and co-sleeping (mostly the comments on her post turn into a debate on co-sleeping. We're so over that though, aren't we?).

So what about you? If you didn't raise your hand -- what anticipated drudgery has turned out to be fun? Anything you thought you'd love that you are more than eager to turn over to your partner?

I thought I was going to hate children's TV, and sure, it can be crappy. But I have "my shows" (Arthur being one, Clifford being NOT one.) I expected the worst of car trips with young kids but I actually look forward to them -- the crappy food, the whining, the same CD 2,000 times. Fun.

On the flip side, I thought I'd love giving baths, pre-kids, but it's not my favorite (too much prep-work and clean up) and I found myself surprisingly bored with so much of the reading material meant for 4- to 6-year-old's.

Your turn!

'Retired' Tennis Star Returns to Court 6 Weeks Post-Partum

Madeline Holler — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:04:00 GMT

Tennis anyone? Oh, not me. I think the sport is as boring to watch and discuss as it is to play. But what I do love is sports talk that centers on motherhood. Obviously. I can't get enough of stories about women who not only continue to compete during and after pregnancy, but especially when the thrive because of it. Sometimes, kids do just the opposite of draining your aspirations. They turn it around an inspire them.

This is what happened to the 31-year-old tennis star Lindsay Davenport. She retired in 2006, pregnant with her son. But the retirement turned into maternity leave when a few weeks before giving birth, she got the strangest pregnancy craving yet: a return to the tennis court. Six weeks post-partum, she was playing in a doubles tournament.

Her boy, Jagger, is 7 months old now, and mom is making the rounds in the big tournaments. Serena Williams, for one, is in awe.

"I mean, I'm speechless because she looks better than me and she's seven months out of having a baby," Serena Williams said here at a pre-tournament news conference. "I'm convinced if I had a baby, seven months later I'd probably still be in the hospital trying to get over the pain."

Oh, Serena, it's not THAT painful. But the comeback is still pretty cool.

Having a kid has forced her to be selective and make difficult choices -- a refrain lots of mothers know. Baby Jagger's presence has changed her in more than one way. He helps to keep her temper in check -- or at least forces her to creatively manage it.

No matter what, win or lose, the presence of Jagger has changed everything for Davenport. She lost to Jankovic in Beijing and afterward told her nanny, who was with Jagger, that she needed a minute alone.

"I hit my racket on the ground, took a deep breath, and I thought, 'OK,' and we were all good again," Davenport said. "It took about hours less than it used to, to get the anger out. I didn't want him to see me do it.

"I was like, 'Would you mind walking outside for one second with him?' She did. [I] broke a racket. They came back in and it was fine."

With a mom on the court, I'm almost tempted to follow tennis. I mean, I won't, but I am tempted.

Super Moms High on Drugs: Motherhood and Addiction

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:24:00 GMT

Super moms, Alpha Moms, the ladies who bake cookies for Billy's class at 3AM have a little helper. And it's not a cocktail. It's meth. Need energy and help with weight loss? Meth is the drug for you. Of course the drug is illegal and there are also sizable risks associated with using (jail time, meth mouth, kids taken away). Still, you won't believe how much stuff you'll get done!

Seriously. What gives with the pressure on mothers to be perfect (or at least thin with a clean house, pretty kids, and a successful career and marriage)??

If ever there were a recipe for addiction it is surely the pressure to keep up appearances. Even though most women won't turn to meth or heroine or cocaine to get through the day, plenty drink too much. And if you're so stressed out that you have to numb yourself to get through, does it matter what tool you use? Something terrible is going on underneath the Stepford veneer of competi-mommying. If mothers have to get high (or drunk or stoned) to get Alpha or get "good" then maybe the endeavor of motherhood as currently constructed is untenable.

Super Cute Dollhouse Round-Up

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:02:00 GMT

The joy of doll houses is lovingly described by Melissa Summers (of Suburban Bliss) as a combination of whimsy and escape from the tiresome of big people real estate. The maxi-happiness of mini-houses lights up the eyes and faces of parents and children alike.

Melissa's doll house round-up over at Alpha Mom includes houses in all price ranges and styles, ranging from a cardboard quiet little $40 place from Kids on the Roof to the $145 Waldorf friendly cottage from Quiet Hours Toys (pictured right) to the $700 sleek Villa Sibi house.

Whatever the house, whatever the materials, the joy of giving children something this creative to play with makes me look forward to the next birthday around these parts.