Strollerderby : Cursing

Another Four-Letter Word My Kid Can't Say

JeanneSager — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:27:00 GMT

Carlin had his seven dirty words. At my house, we have an eighth.

Turd.

My daughter will not, cannot, should not say it. Nor my husband for that matter.

The word panties makes my colleague Madeline, get the creepy crawlies. But the four-letter T-word for poop just makes me wrinkle up my nose and gag.

It's not what it stands for - although, to be fair, I'm no more a fan of that than I am of the other "gift" left in children's diapers. But poop is poop. And I grew up in the land of dairy cows. We have our share of chicken farms. Trust me, I've smelled some of the worst of it.

It's the word that I find cringe-tastic. It's a noxious, base way of referring to something that we all know is pretty loathesome to begin with. That it's the kind of word you hear used derisively on the playground doesn't help. "C'mere you little turd!" will never pass as a term of endearment.

Yet, it's a perfectly average word. One that a teacher can hardly fault a child for using, one that many people drop into conversation in mixed company, at least into conversations regarding the use of the facilities. Banning my daughter from using it might seem to some to be extreme. I say it's no more odd than my parents' insistence that my little brother and I refrain from ever uttering the word "fart" (which my husband found uproarious when we first started dating - he'd say it just to get a rise out of me).

What are the commonly used (even on the radio) words that you won't let your kids use?

Image: PoopReport

Supreme Court Says Keep Cursing Off Daytime TV

Dad Fined $2,000 for Cursing in Front of Kid

JeanneSager — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Forget the cussing jar. What if every time you dropped an F-bomb in front of your kid you had to pay up to the tune of $2K?

I'm no sailor, but one LEGO in the bare foot later, and my bank account would be wiped.

A father in Pennsylvania is fighting a court-mandated "no cursing zone" put forth by the judge overseeing the custody of his nine-year-old. The judge issued a requirement that the man, "refrain from using any profanity when dealing with mother and mother's husband, and using any type of language around the children that's inappropriate."

On the whole, I'd agree. Divorces are rough enough without dad getting nasty with mom and her new hubby. And parents shouldn't, by and large, curse in front of their kids. It's uncouth.

But doesn't this sound kind of vague? Any inappropriate language, meaning, what? My parents didn't let us use the word "fart." Is that a finable offense? What about the parents who say don't say the word "stupid." Or what about "crap?"

The dad has since used some sort of four-letter word. The story in the Bucks County Courier doesn't say which one (could be crap!), but it earned dad a $2,000 fine. Apparently, the judge thinks he was being a sh---y father (oops, I went and said it).

The man is challenging his fine on the basis of free speech, and I'd tend to agree with him. Cursing At your kids on any sort of consistent basis isn't OK - that's abuse. But cursing in front of them. On occasion? It happens. And we're definitely NOT the only ones who do it. My daughter learned the word "bulls--t" from my mother, I'll have you know (yes, the same woman who wouldn't let me say "fart."). She heard "s--t" in the deli the other day, and "a--hole" in the lobby at the doctor's office.

Maybe His Honor would like to take this show on the road? He could follow my three-year-old and I around town and hand out fines.

Image: Sodahead

Supreme Court Says Keep Cursing Off Daytime TV

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:00:00 GMT

If you can't keep your sailor mouth clean, have heart. You can continue plopping your kids in front of the TV during the day for some curse-free entertainment . . . for now anyway.

The U.S. Supreme Court voted five to four to uphold the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) hold over "foul language" on television between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. The issue came up in regards to "fleeting expletives," the one-off f-bomb dropped on a live show (rather than cussing worked into a scripted program).

So is this good for parents and kids? Maybe.

ABC, CBS and Fox, who have been trying to avoid fines for cussing on their networks, are headed back to yet another federal court to fight their fines on the basis of free speech. And Justice Clarence Thomas, who voted with the majority, has written an opinion regarding what he calls “questionable viability” of two FCC regulations that relate to this topic. Voting against the FCC, Justice John Paul Stevens went so far as to call it "ironic" that the FCC goes after words relating to "sex" and "excrement" (hmmm, wonder which words he's talking about there, don'tcha?) even as “commercials broadcast during prime-time hours frequently ask viewers whether they too are battling erectile dysfunction or are having trouble going to the bathroom.”

I try to reign in my potty mouth around my daughter (I try to reign it in period, but hey, life happens). But is a one-off dirty word on TV really that bad? They're just as likely to hear it in the grocery store or the school bus. I sat in our favorite deli eating grilled cheese sandwiches just last week while a group of four twenty-something guys one table over did everything but smear us in the s--t they couldn't stop bringing up.

And Justice Stevens, I'm with you. I don't want to explain erectile dysfunction to my three-year-old just yet. Somehow, explaining what flies out of a cow's butt doesn't seem quite as bad as that.

Image: WriteForBlogs

Will Ferrell's Landlord Retires From Comedy

Brett Singer — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Fans of Pearl, Adam McKay's adorable potty-mouthed daughter, will need to find another outlet for toddler trash talk. The star of the FunnyOrDie short "The Landlord" is retiring.

According to the site, "Good Cop, Baby Copy" is Pearl's final performance. That doesn't mean she won't return to acting when she's old enough to know what she's doing. But it won't be the same.

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

Oh, and in case you were wondering if Pearl's potty-mouth continues offscreen, the answer is no, at least according to her dad. I'm sure we'll all sleep better knowing that.

Image: TVSquad

OctoMom Video Blog at RadarOnline

Photo - Obama Shocked by Schoolkids

RENT Too Risqué For Some Schools

Fun Stuff To Do When The Kids Get Older

Kid's Videogame Nothing but "Redneck S---"

JeanneSager — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:29:00 GMT

Disclaimer: This post is not racist and has no gripe against men with mullets (because who doesn't want a party in the back) or farmer's tans.

Now that that's done. How would you like it if your kid spent his hard-earned (from Gram) Christmas money at the store, and all he ended up with was redneck you-know-what?

That's what happened to a Consumerist reader, whose son went to Wal-Mart and bought what he thought was the new Electronic Arts game, Madden 09.

Only instead of a disc he could slip into his shiny white XBox, inside there was a CDR with the words "Redneck S--t" (see, the disclaimer stands). The letter writer says he called the store, and they're supposed to make good on the screw-up.

My question - what would you do? Grab the thing and run horrified away from your kid? Do you use this as a teaching moment (stealing's wrong m'kay) or simply get indignant and let 'em see you really pissed?

Source/Image: Consumerist

Kid Founder of the No-Cussing Club Receives Death Threats

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:00:00 GMT

The son of the authors of Raising G-Rated Kids in an X-rated World has received death threats for encouraging kids to clean up their language. Not just one death threat. Multiple death threats. Fifteen-year old McKay Hatch started his club, which now has over 30,000 members world-wide, in response to his own annoyance at his peers' changing language habits as they grew from elementary school to middle and high school.

Says Hatch:

"The reason it bothered me the most is 'cause it was something they were using every other word, kinda like the word 'the.' They kept using it and using it."

Complete with website and upcoming book, Hatch's club also has a hip-hop video making the Internet rounds. (Watch it below the cut.)

Hatch says he isn't against free speech, and he is forgiving of slips from people who are trying to change their ways. He even offers help in the form of suggested "substitute" swear words like "pickles" and "sassafrass." Yes, this is one brave kid.

The local police and the FBI are involved in an investigation of the death threats. Meanwhile, Hatch declares that the haters--and they are legion, in spite of his club's success--are "just bullies and they want you to be scared. And so I'm not gonna let them win."

Aw shucks kid, go for it!

Babble Talk: Points For Honesty

Brett Singer — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:00:00 GMT

One of the first posts I wrote on Babble was about certain words that toddler's should never, ever say in polite company. One of them was the phrase "fork and spoon."

In case you've forgotten, here's why:

(Fork - r = Fok) + (In - n = n) + Spoon = Fokkin' Spoon

Many people weighed in with their own toddler-isms, such as the child who walked around asking everyone where his stick was – except that he replaced the "st" with "d". That must have been fun.

Over at 'Kids Say The Cutest Things', this kid, I think, wins the prize. Not only does he/she say a four-letter word, he/she seems to know that he/she is saying a four-letter word. Please forgive my language... well, it's not my language, it's theirs:

mommy dosen't like when i say fire truck because i can't talk very good so I usually say fire fuck

Hard to argue with that one, right?

Read more of the funny stuff that pops out of our kids' mouths, four-letter words, five-letter words, or 27-letter words right here. You can also submit your own short-people sayings.

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

Lego Santa Crab Will Frighten Children Into Being Good All Year

Nature Lovers Also Annoyed About Children's Dictionary

Airing the Parental Dirty Laundry

Nintendo Scrabble Game Drops the F-Bomb

JeanneSager — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:31:00 GMT

First it was the word "tits." The Nintendo Scrabble game offered the eight-year-old boy two definitions: a garden bird or an informal word for female breasts. A garden variety mistake? Not when you consider the game's next choice.

Ethan Carrington's handheld Nintendo DS spit out the word "f**kers" to win at Nintendo Scrabble - the f-bomb was worth a triple word score.

Before giving birth to my daughter, this would have cracked me up (OK, it still did, but I promise I shook my head in appropriate disgust while clutching my stomach). The rating on the game was for three and up, and well, I have a three-year-old now. So you'll excuse me my prudishness in agreeing with Tonya Carrington - this game has got to go. The English mother bought the game for her son because he enjoys English; she thought it would boost his vocabulary. Only she was thinking more Webster's, less salty sea sailor.

The thing is, he's probably heard the words on the bus. But in a game Mom and Dad bought? One that's meant to act as a teaching tool?

The game's maker, Ubisoft, told the Daily Mail that there's a junior option that can be enacted to ensure curse words don't make their way through to little kids. Carrington says she looked through the game book and didn't see any mention of a junior version, but then again - should she have to look? When you market a game at kids three and up, you sort of expect it to BE the junior version, don't you? Besides the fact that this is Scrabble, the game that's got leagues of grannies meeting in their living rooms on Tuesday afternoons. Are you really surprised that most parents felt safe handing the game straight over to their kids withoutchecking to ensure it won't teach their kids that "toke" means to "draw on a cannabis cigarette?"

Image/Source: The Daily Mail

Mix Rap With Kid Shows and Whaddya Get?

Mom Scratches 'B**ch' on Son's Face with Crayon

JeanneSager — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:09:00 GMT

If this isn't a case of the pot calling the kettle black, what is? An Indiana mother has been arrested on charges of neglect of a dependent, battery and criminal confinement after allegedly holding her fourth-grader on the floor and using a crayon to scratch the word "b**ch" on his forehead.

It sounds like Sherri Feuston definitely is one.

The mom then sent the boy to school, where officials called in child abuse investigators. They say Feuston also beat the boy with a belt and flicked him in the eye with a towel. Her defense? She was just "playing" with him.

Have you picked up your kids crayons lately? Of all my daughter's toys, I'd have to say they're among the least dangerous. So the thought that someone could actually scratch out a word on the skin that would still be visible an extended period of time later is hard to believe. You'll forgive me, then, if I don't believethis mom was "just playing" when she did this.

Image: CuriousClicks

They Say: Forward-Facing Stroller's Bad for Baby

What Makes a Yuppie Parent?

They Say: Prenatal Folic Acid Not So Good After All

Kid Arrested for Farting

Middle Schoolers Exposed to Curse Words, Parents Shocked

JeanneSager — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Parents of middle schoolers in Fresno, Calif. were shocked, shocked, I tell you, when they learned their kids had been exposed to curse words. Imagine, 12 years old and seeing f*%k in all its glory. Where have these parents been in the past 50 years?

Watching offensive language usage rise in his classrooms, the principal at Tioga Middle School said told teachers to write a list of four-letter words on the whiteboard in each classroom let kids know exactly what words would not be tolerated. Then the mother and future stepfather of 12-year-old Phoenix Hawkins complained. They want to protect his innocence, they say.

The principal's pulled the plan, but I hope Phoenix isn't riding a bus to school. That's where I learned "motherf***er" at 5 and "time of the month" at 7. Maybe Phoenix's parents should consider homeschooling? And no TV, naturally. No books. No movie. Definitely no trips to the grocery store or even outside the house.

Awww, s**t, let's just bring on that bubble.

Source: San Luis Obispo Tribune

Image: Calvin

When They Can Curse in Context

Does Quoting Steve Martin's The Jerk Make This Politician a Racist?

Babble Talk: My Daughter Gets Her Happy Ending at McDonald's

Angelina Buys Her Kid a Knife. What's Next, Maddox Jolie, Tomb Raider?

Do You Leave Your Kids in "Car Care?"

Five Ways to Spot a Stalker Mom - So You Can Run

JeanneSager — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 16:34:00 GMT

I always thought it would be kind of cool to have a stalker. Not in the "I love Jodi so much I'd shoot the president" sense, but you know, someone who would still checking out my saggy mom butt even though he isn't required by the ring I put on his finger.

Then I found out about the Mommy stalker. I can spot the type these days from across the playground. She’s got a group of five or six kids around her, and they’re “shaking the sillies out.” In other words, she’s getting them high on kiddie crack, just in time to send them back to Mom.

I go to the playground now with a ready-made excuse. A story to write. Dinner to make. Because she’s going to ask what we’re doing later. She’s going to invite us over for a playdate. Worst of all, she’s going to do it right in front of my kid, who is going to say, “Yeah Mommy, please can I go? Please, please?” Judas.

Kids love the Stalker Mom. She’s fun. She’s annoying. She expects you to hang out during your kids’ playdate, and she doesn’t think that entails a bottle of wine. You want to avoid her at any cost. Don’t worry, the ‘Derby’s got your back. Here are the top five dead giveaways so you can spot a potential Stalker Mom at 30 paces:

She says “I heard that,” and titters when you drop a pile of books in the mud outside the library door and mutter “s**t.” (Yeah she heard it, because I said it. And, no, I don't mean "sugar.")
She prefers the floor to the chairs at story hour. Easier to crawl after the babies and pinch their butts. Also easier to lead songs that involve clapping because you can just brush the sippy cup, teddy bear and other necessaries abandoned by your child off the lap onto the floor. (I sit on the floor all day at home lady, while my kid is otherwise engaged, please, please, allow me to give my back a little relief).
She uses the word "fun." In every sentence. In reference to potty training and the like. In adult conversation. (Thus making conversation not freakin' fun at all.)
She's on a first name basis with the staff of Chuck E. Cheese. (Well, you know, it is fun).
If you have a kid, she will find you. And invite you to her house. And get your kid wound up. And make your kid fall in love. And you'll be the mean old Mommy (or Daddy) if you don't just let them play . . .

Image: Quizilla

Mom Takes her Potty Mouth to Work

How to Annoy Your Sister: Advertise on Craigslist

When They Can Curse in Context

Five Nonsense Kids Character Names Explained

Keep Kids Creative - Play With Them

Why Kids Curse

Cole Gamble — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:32:00 GMT

The other day my 1-year-old called me a douche bag. I could be mistaken; he may have been just asking for a cookie. Even though we like to pretend Dalton can say seven or so words, all the “words” are indecipherable and they all kind of sound like “douche bag.”

According to NPR, your kids curse because of—and here comes the big reveal—you. Yep, big “duh” factor. You might say, “nay, my good man, my young master and young miss acquired no such articles of offense from I. It twas from those scurvy-riddled urchins with which my successors associate.” Well, I'm sorry to tell you, as you nervously finger your cravat, they might learn bad words from the kids at school, but your kids taught just as much as they were schooled. They're getting the @#*!s and &%$*!s from you, unless your kid has a nightly date with Cinemax After Dark while you're asleep in bed.

I don't think parents should stop swearing. Personally, I am afraid of anyone who doesn't swear. Not only is swearing a much needed pressure-release button, but to have a passion for swearing is to foster an unconditional love for the language we speak, warts and all. There is a poetry and endless invention to swearing especially when the speaker creates those delectable hybrids by combining expletives together in whimsical, almost Seussian arrangements. Words among my favorites are: (I know the sponsors are watching so, forgive me, but I'll clean this up) “male genitalia/head” and “sexual congress/face” or really exotic smash-ups like “excrement/sexual congress/sexual congress with fecal matter/nose.”

If you are a little more curious about the etymology of the swear, there's a fine article over at howstuffworks.com. There I found out dirty words generally fall into two categories: deistic (related to religion) or visceral (related to the body and it's function). On second thought, maybe you don't want to research your favorite swears. A great swear is like a great joke, it kind of kills it when you have to explain it.

No, I don't think children should be invited to the entire buffet of hard R swear words. That should be another one of those consolation prizes for getting older, like getting a driver's license, drinking alcohol and earning the right to neglect to vote. One day, many years from now, I hope one of my children will come to me and say, “Listen dad, I don't give a shit.” And I will put a hand on their shoulder and tell them “congratulations, my child, you are now grown.”

God Condemns Swearing

makeitadouble — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 19:00:00 GMT

Pride, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, Gluttony and Lust? You might want to add potty talk to the list of Seven Deadly Sins. It seems that taking the Lord’s name in vain isn’t the only cussing student’s at Montefalco Catholic School shalt not be doing any time soon; at least not without detention or possible punishment in the afterlife.

Though Principal Sister Kathy Avery has instituted a zero-tolerance policy on swearing at the Michigan-based Catholic Middle School that has not precluded her from using the banned language just in case there was any confusion to which words she is referring.

The students, ranging from fifth to eight graders, were informed of the new profanity policy after mass last week by Sister Avery. However, instead of assuming that 10 to 13 year old children would know the difference between acceptable language and bad language, the principal chose rather to launch into a vulgar F-Bomb laden blasphemous tirade not seen since George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Words routine.

For Christ’s sake …I mean for crying out loud, my oldest son is only five years old and has already taken it upon himself to assume the role of my own personal FCC; telling me which words are "bad", and reminding me which are inappropriate to use around him and his little brother. SHIT! “Don’t say that Daddy. That’s a bad word.” DAMN! “Don’t say that Daddy. That’s a bad word.” RECTORY! “Don’t say that Daddy. That’s a bad word.” I’ll have to remind him that according to Sister Avery the words Sexton, Rectory, Intercession, Seminary and Oratory aren’t included on the banned words list.

Margaret Roache, chairperson of the school commission and whose son was privy to the recitation of what is being called the “Shit List”, commented "In a way you would think a nun would shy away from something like that, but she's very open with the children, very clear in her messages," No, in a way you’d think an Adult/Educator/Representative of the Church would have the common sense to know 1)Kids experiment with profanity to test boundaries and express themselves in ways they hear adults doing 2) 10 to 13 year old kids know better curses than most adults 3) the best way to inspire good behavior in children is for adults to model it.

I guess the students should be thankful the Principal didn’t institute a zero-tolerance policy on fighting, too.

How High Is the Cussing Alert in Your Homeland?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 14:21:00 GMT

Oh, how I'd like to begin this post with a string of curse words. But that would be too easy. Fun but too easy. You see, I'm pretty good at cussing. I refined the skill, not because I have degrees in wordsmithing in various formats, but because I spent several years in the restaurant industry serving overpriced pasta and cocktails to ingrates and then buzzing to the back of the house to speak unkindly of them with my peers. Ditto that for the years I was a college instructor, nanny and nonprofit consultant. While I'm not ready to clue my 3-year old into these particular skills, I do admit that it sometimes pains me to rein in the swearing when I am speaking of irritating drivers, current federal administrators and even certain playgroup mommies.

But I do it. I swallow the big five and instead blurt out nearer-to-niceties like crap, effing, fuhreaking, and the trinity of Good Lord, Good God and Jeeeeebus that apparently (from various looks and/or shooshing I've received from my husband and mother-in-law) don't cut it for some full-on censorship around children kind.

The conversation about what words are acceptable is on at Motherhood Uncensored where the question has been raised: What constitutes a cuss word? As you might expect, tons of muhfuckers (oh Jeebus, that feels good) are responding with their own bomb-dropping boundaries. While I do think a kid who swears is not cute and is quite uncomfortable, I just don't think crap registers as the forbidden flavor of adult vocabulary. Perhaps this all calls for a hierarchy of cursing, maybe even a chart based on the homeland security alerts.

Red alert could call for parents to run to the bedroom where they spew all kinds of f-words into a pile of cashmere sweaters. Orange alert could call for simply mouthing the offender, yellow for watered-down swearing with a raised fist shaken with moderate fury, and so on. Even as such, no matter how extensive your (or your child's) vocabulary is, sometimes there is no better way to express frustration over a new work policy or science grade than "That's total crap yo." And eventually, no matter how much you dookie up your bullshit conversation, everyone in the room knows exactly what you're getting at.

How high alert are the potty mouths in your house? Seriously, betches, let's put our skills and charts to real use and talk this shit out.

Samuel Jackson's Daughter Curses Like a Mofo!

MetroDad — Fri, 11 May 2007 23:00:00 GMT

As has been well-documented, I tend to curse like a sailor. I've always thought there was a certain poetry in being able to swear properly. Sure, anyone can say curse words but it takes a true artisan to swear properly. It involves a fine understanding of syntax, structure, and iambic pentameter. The difference between cursing and swearing as an art form is like the difference between Yoda and Yeats.

However, I try very hard not to curse in front of my 2.5 year old daughter. On the one hand, I don't think it's appropriate. And on the other hand, I'd be completely mortified if she used any curse words in public.

Apparently, Samuel Jackson doesn't feel the same way. The "Pulp Fiction" star (who will always be immortalized by lines like " Hey, sewer rat may taste like fucking pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker!") recently revealed in an article that he freely cursed in front of his daughter when she was just three-years old.

According to Jackson, "I never edited my speech with my daughter and I talked to her like I talked to my friends, but she could not answer me back the same way. I recall hearing when she was three talking to her friends and saying 'Fuck you.' She understood the context of different words. We took her to a wedding once and I was asking her about some food and she replied, 'What is that shit?'

I have to admit. If I heard a three-year old at a wedding say that, I'd probably be laughing for days! I guess it's funny when it's not YOUR kid.