Strollerderby : Ellen Degeneres

Poll - Portia and Ellen Most Trusted Moms

Brett Singer — Fri, 08 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

ParentDish did a Mother's Day poll. Over 10,000 people voted. (For an Internet poll, that's a lot, trust me. Or as Paris Hilton might say, "huge.")

The first question on the poll was the following: "Which celebrity would you most feel comfortable leaving your kids with?"

You know who won? Drum roll, please...

With 31%, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi took the top spot. Rounding out the list were Jennifer Aniston (22%), Rachel Ray (20%), Angelina and Brad (18%) and coming in last was Oprah Winfrey with 9%.

The results are interesting. I probably would have put Rachel Ray first, and Ellen and Portia second. (Carrie Prejean, methinks, would put Ellen and Portia dead last.) Putting Jennifer ahead of Angie and Brad seems odd, but I guess that's the way the celebrity winds are blowing this week.

Obviously the fact that the top choice was a same-sex couple is worth mentioning. Or is it? Have a majority of us progressed past the point where we care what sort of family we would leave our kids with? (In theory of course -- as far as I know, none of the famous folks in this poll are offering babysitting services.)

Out of this group, who would you leave your kids with? Would the sexual orientation of the parents factor in to your decision?

Source: ParentDish

image: Daily News

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Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 22:00:00 GMT

My mother and I sometimes disagree (shocking, I know) and occasionally we argue about Oprah. (Not a lot -- don't worry, we're not obsessed or anything. We have far more important things to fight about.) She'll tell me that Oprah said this or that, and oh, isn't it wonderful, and I'll say, feh, Oprah, she's not so great, she's responsible for unleashing Dr. Phil on the world. So when mom told me that the Gayle King's best friend was doing a show about the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation, I was skeptical. Too many celebrities have been talking about the incident and not saying the right things.

For example: Sean Combs (aka Diddy or whatever the hell he calls himself these days) kind of missed the point when he told Ellen DeGeneres, "I don’t think it’s right for anybody to hit anybody…. We know sometimes relationships get ugly (but) we don’t know exactly what’s going on (in this one). It isn't right for him to put his hands on her or her to put his hands on him" -- which to me implies that somehow if Rihanna had slapped Chris, it would be OK if Brown gave her a black eye. Which it isn't. Ellen, for her part, gets it right when she says that she doesn't want any girl to think that "it's OK to go back to a guy that hit her," although she says it in a very wishy-washy manner ("I don't want to judge" anyone, that sort of thing) and lets Diddy to the hook too easily ("I want to dance!"). Yes, her show isn't exactly "60 Minutes," but this also isn't a fluffy issue. If you're going to bring it up, you should be clear how you feel, and if possible get the last word. (Here's a clip if you missed it, which would be understandable. I never watch that show.)

Back to Oprah. I didn't watch the whole segment (hey, I'm busy) but I feel confident that the tone she took with was the correct one based on this quote:

"Love doesn't hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again."

See, it really is that simple. I understand that the charges against Brown are pending, and as Diddy so brilliantly points out, none of us were in the car with the young couple when the incident occurred. But Brown has shown no remorse at all. More disturbing is the way that many of Brown's peers are defending him, and that anyone thinks his alleged actions are OK. Grammy-winning Rapper T.I. said on Carson Daly's talk show that he told Brown "this too shall pass." He went back on that statement, perhaps when he realized that Daly's show is actually broadcast on television, which is a mistake I can understand. And Usher backtracked on his earlier statement that Brown should "have a little bit of remorse" about what happened, and not hit the jet skis at Diddy's house. (Good thing he apologized -- that's crazy talk!)

Brown dropped out of the Kids' Choice Awards, which was a good PR move, but it's also somewhat irrelevant, since his statement just said something about it being difficult to "focus on the music" with all of this other stuff going on. Oprah used my line (OK, other people said it too) and called this a great "teaching moment." Problem is, I'm not so sure that the right lesson is being taught. It's important to everyone, but especially important to parents, since many of our kids are still young enough to not have formed opinions about this issue yet. (Some of those kids, though, are much smarter than our celebrities, which is always nice to see.)

For me this is a simple issue. While legally what Brown did falls into the category of "allegedly," he hasn't denied it, and in fact has basically admitted that he beat up Rihanna. Rihanna got back together with him and decided not to press charges. Anyone who says anything about this issue in public needs to be very clear because many of Brown's fans are young and for better or worse they sometimes take their cue from celebrities. Hitting your girlfriend is wrong. If your boyfriend hits you, leave. Why is that so hard?

Source: Oprah.com

Image from here

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Mrs. And Mrs. DeGeneres, and a male perspective on the name game

Brett Singer — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

You won't have Portia De Rossi to kick around anymore – well, you will (although why you would want to kick her, I have no idea), but she'll have a new name. According to the Daily News, Portia will take DeGeneres' last name when they officially tie the knot. (I guess that clears up any question about who the "man" in that relationship is, right?)

I do wonder how a gay couple makes this decision. Ellen definitely makes more money, and she is older. She also never wears dresses. OK, maybe in their case it wasn't that difficult. I'll be curious if other gay couples make name-changes as they (hopefully) continue to get legally hitched. (If this issue has come up for any readers, let us know in the comments.)

Interestingly, many women in heterosexual marriages don't change their names, at least judging from the reactions to Adrienne's recent post on the subject. Of course, some women did make the switch, for various reasons: "I didn't have any special attachment to my original name", "I didn't want to change my name, but my husband really wanted me to" are two of the comments.

The subject of names didn't come up when I got married, but it's clearly an issue. I know I wouldn't want to change my name, and I'm not sure how I would have felt about it if my wife had wanted to "keep her name" (a phrase I think sounds odd, although I admit that I don't have a better one – yet). I'm not a fan of the hyphen-name, mostly because usually it's only the mother who uses it; the husband and children use the man's name. If everyone in the family went hyphen, I think that would be different. One consideration that rarely gets discussed is what a woman has to do in order to change her name; if my wife's experience is any guide, it can be a lot of work.

So guys, if your wife-to-be doesn't want to "take your name" when she takes your hand in marriage, try this:

"Grrr! Ugg want you change name! Make Ugg feel manly! Now get Ugg dinner!"

Yeah, that'll work.

image: Daily News

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Kylie to Doctors: Get it right

Brett Singer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Kylie Minogue is a huge star in England and Australia, and while she's popular here as well, she has had trouble breaking through into the ranks of mega-uber-American stardom. I think I've figured out why: she's too smart.

During an appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, the 39-year-old singer and cancer survivor said that when she visited her doctor in 2005, she was told that everything was fine and that she should go back out on tour. A few weeks later, she found a lump in her breast during a self-examination, and then spent a year in treatment. Although Kylie is fine now, she might not be if she hadn't taken charge of her own health care. Ellen said that she too found a lump in her breast recently and had it removed -- two weeks after getting a mammogram and being told there was nothing there.

Minogue stressed that she didn't want to "frighten people," but did want people to realize that just because "someone is in a white coat and using big medical instruments doesn't necessarily mean they're right." She said that she knows of four other women who had similar experiences. In a recent appearance on the Howard Stern Show, Senator Arlen Specter discussed the time a doctor informed him that he had 3-6 weeks to live because of a malignant brain tumor; when the doctor then said he should go on a scheduled vacation, he decided to get a second opinion since that advice was a bit, shall we say, odd. Specter was also wrongly told that he had Lou Gehrig's disease (methinks the senator should switch doctors), and has since survived a bout with Hodgkin's disease, which he chronicles in his new book Never Give In: Battling Cancer in the Senate.

On a personal note, I had emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder several years ago; I found out later that I had been sick for at least six months, and despite worsening symptoms, my doctor didn't do x-rays until it was clear that I was in real trouble. Another time I was put through a battery of tests for stomach issues and it turned out I was lactose intolerant and just needed to stop eating dairy. Everything worked out fine, but there are numerous cases with more serious medical problems that don't end as happily.

Even though it can be difficult to question doctors, they don't know everything, and some of them are even lousy at their jobs. This doesn't mean that you should charge into every appointment armed with your own copy of the PDR and a massive chip on your shoulder, but it does mean that you shouldn't be afraid to ask questions and if something doesn't feel right, seek a second opinion. Finding that balance can be even more difficult when it comes to your kids and their health care, but it's no less important. If you don't want your child to get 6 vaccines at the same time, you have to find a way to tell your doctor.

Kylie has since backed off her statement slightly, saying that she has "great respect for the medical profession." Someone must have pressured her to say that, since it seems to me that it was pretty clear in her initial comments that she didn't think ALL doctors were ninnies.

On a less serious note, Kylie's song "Your Disco Needs You" is really much better than it should be with a title like that. Check out the video here.

image: Kylie.com

Hey look! Xtina had twins!

Brett Singer — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:14:00 GMT

This might be more of a Famecrawler thing but I couldn't resist: Christina Aguilera made an appearance on ELLEN, discussing her new son Max and showing off her ample bosoms. The video is worth watching, but here are some highlights:

1. Degeneres makes a comment on how nice the new mom is looking:

Ellen: You look great, one question are you nursing?

Christina: I guess it’s a little obvious.

Ellen: It’s going to be healthy baby boy.

Some bloggers found this to be a weird comment; I thought it was the most interesting thing Ellen said during the entire interview. Yes, Ellen was talking about her chest. And your point is…?

2. Christina's son Max had a bris, which was decorated with penis balloons. Large-size penis balloons, which were…

3. …intended to show that Mr. Aguilera (aka Jordan Bratman) is well-hung (at least I think that's what Christina meant when she said "For our family, we got big ones! There you go baby.")

4. Dang. And you thought Pam Anderson's kids would be popular with the neighborhood boys. Can you say "Stacy's Mom Syndrome"?

5. The Aguilera-Bratmans get big points for naming the kid something normal. Perhaps the days of "Rumer" (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) and "Seven" (Erykah Badu and Andre "3000" Benjamin) are behind us?

Also: for the gentiles in our audience, penis balloons are not generally part of the bris experience. But hey, different strokes and all that.

Here's the video. Enjoy:

Little Dogs, Little Children: Toxic Combo or Crazy Pet Person Issue?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 19:48:00 GMT

I’ll admit that when I read a little more about the whole Ellen Degeneres dog-adoption debacle, I felt a twinge. Of recognition. Of guilt. Of shame.

Yes, taking the dog away from the hairdresser’s kids was ridiculous. Yes, many people deep into the pet adoption world have lost perspective. But I couldn’t help thinking about Milo, our 9-pound, half Chihuahua, half rat terrier and how, on occasion, he suffers at the delicate hands of my 2-year-old human.

I’m not saying my kids twirl the little guy around by his hind legs. Or put firecrackers in his mouth. Or dress him up in doll clothes. But once I caught my youngest carrying him to the couch – by his head. And she has a tendency to hug him a little too tight. And poke his ears.

Of course, she’s learning. I’m learning. We’re all learning. And sure, it’s unfair that Milo is our involuntary teacher. Life in our family has to be somewhat disappointing, after the euphoria he must have felt when a neighbor delivered him to us from the mean streets of traffic-heavy downtown Los Angeles, where his determined little puppy self was dodging cars and hosting fleas, looking for work or food.

Life isn’t perfect here for Milo, but it’s good. And getting better. Should dogs be placed in the most perfect homes possible? Sure. Should only big dogs go to homes with small children? Looks like there’s some debate.

Kidventor Part II: No-Wedgie Underwear

Madeline Holler — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 22:02:00 GMT

In our continuing coverage of kidventors, we bring you 8-year-old twins from Ohio who have invented wedgie-free underwear.

Like the Iowa kid who devised a way to end fights about raised toilet seats, these twins and their invention were also featured on a recent Ellen Degeneres show.

The “Rip Away 1000” are rigged shorts that have been reengineered in a way that prevents them from going up your crack when the bullies start grabbing and yanking. Instead, Velcro seams come apart and “they just rip away,” one of the Underwear Thomas Edisons explained.

Hey, I don’t wanna pick on little kids or anything, but I have to ask how in the hell easily removable underwear will be anything but trouble. Haven't they just turned underwear into a trophy? Plus, depending on the strength of the wedgie aggressor, “Rip Away 1000” could burn!

Photo: Palm Beach Post

Kidventor Part I: Boy Designs Auto-Lid For the Toilet

Madeline Holler — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 21:03:00 GMT

An Iowa 9-year-old has invented a handy little tool for guys who just can’t remember to put the toilet seat down. He and his “Privy Prop” won an inventors competition at school and went on to be showcased at the Iowa State Fair this summer.

Producers of the Ellen Degeneres show found out and featured him and several other kidventors on a recent show. Our 15 seconds of fame come in so many different ways.

The Privy Prop works like the lid of trashcans that lift when a pedal is stepped on. Sidle up to a toilet, step on the pedal, unzip and go. When you step away from the toilet, the seat automatically falls back in place. No more nagging from the females in the house.

The kidventor’s family hopes some company will buy the idea from the boy. They are reluctant to patent it themselves, due to cost. And mom has put her foot down and won’t let the family get into the Privy Prop production business.

In my house of girls and one very considerate man, we don’t need a Privy Prop. But would some little genius please come up with an automatic clothes folder?

Photo: Associated Press

Ellen DeGeneres Becoming a Mommy?

Kelly Mills — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:10:00 GMT

Ellen announced that on Mother's Day she plans to do a special show for an audience made up entirely of pregnant, first-time moms. I question the wisdom of that. It will be a miracle if nobody starts crying or barfing during the first ten minutes of shooting.

She also said she is going to make a big announcement on the show, and that she has something in common with her Mother's Day audience. That sounds like a big fat hint she is going to be a mom herself. Everyone take a hard look at her belly, and the belly of her long-time girlfriend, Portia de Rossi. (Who I love dearly, by the way. Arrested Development was one of the best shows ever.) Awww, Baby de Rossi-DeGeneres. From everything I've gleaned about Ellen through interviews in magazines and from her comedy specials (read: I really know nothing about the real Ellen) I believe she will make a mighty fine mama. But this baby talk is just speculation, of course. For all we know, she's going to say she's been moody and bloated for the last few months.

Hey, I know, let's start another rumor! How about this: in a grab for Mother's Day ratings, Ellen has high hopes one of her audience members will go into labor and deliver on the air. In order to better the odds, her staff has asked each audience member within a week of her due date to go into the green room and have her water broken before she takes her seat. Once she has settled into her assigned place (in the front row) she will be hooked up to a pitocin drip. Then spicy foods will be passed around.

Pass it on.

Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi: Maybe Baby

Karen Murphy — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 17:47:00 GMT

I'm still astounded that if a celebrity reports simply thinking about doing something, it's news. But how can I resist this one? I love how Ellen Degeneres transcended all the ugliness from being practically drummed out of television to being one of the most-liked figures in daytime TV. How can you not like a story like that? So people have either forgotten she's a lesbian or "forgiven" her for it, or even better, don't care about the label. Yay! I'd love to see more of this.

And now Ellen is planning/hoping/talking about having a baby with her totally hot partner Portia De Rossi. Sure, a move like that might bring the labels back for some people, but it also could bring the couple a lot of happiness. And I hope it does.