Strollerderby : Gen X

They Say: Today's Kids are Rude, Here's Why

Madeline Holler — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:27:00 GMT

Here's the argument: today's kids, so coddled by parents who prize a sizable self-esteem above all else, are turning into rude, self-absorbed little jerks who not only don't take "no" for answer, they've never actually encountered the word.

Yes, that sounds about right.

A reporter on MSNBC writes that experts say kids these days are ruder than ever and that it's our fault, we Gen Xers, who were so benignly neglected that we now over-compensate as parents by co-sleeping and baby-wearing and opting out. And that we're so fixated on our children's well-being that we wind up teaching them that other people's feelings are less important than our own, that kids should first make sure they feel good, then (if ever) worry about others.

An expert:

“I see parents ferociously advocating for their children, responding with hostility to anyone they perceive as getting in the child's way — from a person whose dog snuffles inquiringly at a baby in a carriage, to a teacher or coach whom they perceive is slighting their child, to a poor, hapless doctor who cannot cure the common cold,” says [Dr. Philippa] Gordon, [a long-time pediatrician in Park Slope, Brooklyn, an urban New York neighborhood famous for its dense Gen-X parent population]. “There is a feeling that anything interfering with their kid's homeostasis, as they see it, is an inappropriate behavior to be fended off sharply.”

Such parents might be surprised to learn how uncorrelated self-esteem and performance are.

But, another argues, we Gen Xers come by it honestly, since we, according to another expert, are some of the most neglected kids in history. We're apparently healing our wounds through our intensive parenting. Our kids will have what we didn't: demonstrated love and protection.

Another expert lets us off the hook, though. She says that today's culture celebrates negative behaviors and goes on to finger American Idol judges and Bratz dolls as examples of mainstream meanness.

I would have to agree that parents these days can be a little screwed up when it comes to their kids. For example, why didn't the mother whose school-aged boy was chasing other kids with poop on a stick tell him to stop and remind him that poop-on-a-stick is disgusting? I also didn't appreciate the mom who brought her son over and said "he loves to explore," when my husband and I stood stunned that the little explorer was back in our bedroom going through the closet. Huh?

But I'm sure some mom has included me in the "rude kids" pile. I'm verrrrry passive when it comes to kids under 2 years old sharing toys. I know that, developmentally, sharing makes no sense to them. So I tend to tell my under-twos to share, watch them not share, and then get the other kid something else to play with and roll my eyes at said other kid's parent, hoping she'll understand. She usually does.

Also, my stubborn, hair-trigger four-year-old gets so many passes, not because I worry about the fragility of her self-esteem, but because I worry about the fragility of my last nerve. But we don't tolerate kicking seats on airplanes (unless the person in front has leaned back all the way ... that passenger is on his own), or snarky talk to grown-ups. We do table manners. We play to win at Old Maid. We also expect the kids to listen to their teachers and other parents.

We'd like our kids to have a healthy self-esteem, but we're not interested in narcissistic little tyrants. And I say this as a very benignly neglected, latch-key GenXer parent.

Do you think kids these days are rude? (Not yours, of course!) Do you blame culture at all or are parents too permissive? Too focused on their spirited little genius?

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Photo: MSNBC

Morning Sickness Now In Style

Madeline Holler — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:33:00 GMT

The bar for "good" pregnant women has been raised much higher than I can see.

Starting now, nothing says "this pregnant lady's really holding it together," like a disposable, compact, afforadable -- yet stylish! -- barf bag. And 50 of them can be nauseously yours for less than 30 bucks.

Called the "Morning Chicness" bag it comes in six different designs, some quite attractive, you know, considering.

Company founder and Morning Chicness bag designer Tara Ramos came up with the idea for the bags after suffering Hyperemesis Gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness. She used airline bags her husband and friends purloined from plane trips.

According to the website, however, Ramos "liked the convenience of airline vomit bags, but hated advertising an airline while vomiting."

Totally. I'm like that with Disney stuff.

Thus, pretty barf bags were born.

Discussion: what did you barf in during your pregnancy?

Pun alert: these would make a great gag gift for a baby shower.

[Hat tip: Slate's XX Factor]

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Photo and image: morningchicnessbags.com

They Say: Our Children Will Grow Up to be Boring

Madeline Holler — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:30:00 GMT

I sort of think sociology can get a little hocus-pocus, but I do love sweeping generalizations that, at the very least, give us a new perspective, a glimpse into the future, or, in case my kids turn out to be straight-laced, snoozy, corporate drones, something to blame besides my unskilled mothering.

I won't be to blame! That's if there's anything to this New York Times article on how the current economy -- what some are calling "The Great Recession" -- might shape our children and their adult lives.

The story starts by looking back at what was said about the young adults of the 1950s. Born into the Great Depression, they grew up to be "The Silent Generation," all cautious and low-risk -- think 30-year mortgages, jobs with pensions, Donna Reed, Ralph Nader and his seatbelts. Think Frank Wheeler in "Revolutionary Road." Think Don Draper.

So what to make of "Generation Recession," children who are just now graduating high school and college, those you might be pregnant with now and well into the future (depending on how long these bad times last), and every age group in between.

If kids of the Great Depression tell us anything, how the kids of the Great Recession turn out will depend on which end of the recession they were born at. So this year's college grads? They'll have a little of the power-spending Bush years in them. They'll be creative now that they face rising unemployment and diminishing prospects. They'll figure out how to move around with a nothing-left-to-lose attitude (including moving back in with their parents). They'll also turn into do-gooders, joining up with the Peace Corps, Americorps, work for government, etc., etc. They're even becoming teachers because it looks more fun and purposeful than, say, Wall Street.

But our newborns? Their toddler siblings? The baby you hope to have in five years? Well, they'll be scarred for life from this super-recession and will have to pay the ultimate price: they're gonna be BORRRR-ing.

From the Times:

Children in the stagflated 1970s, meanwhile, grew up in the too-much-information age of Judy Blume. As Mr. Howe quotes one: “Our parents gave us answers to questions we never asked.” The system that produced Watergate had failed everyone, the lesson was to be a free agent, to take risks. Even today, Mr. Howe said, lottery officials report that those Gen Xers are their biggest customers.

But when it comes to raising their children, the pendulum has swung. Today’s youngest children — the recession babies — are being raised in the same kind of protective bubble as the Depression babies. (When Mr. Howe’s Web site did a contest to name this next generation a few years ago, the winner was “the homelanders,” as in security). They stroll in sidewalk versions of sport utility vehicles, learn to swim in U.V. protective full-body suits.

Could there be a worse outcome for a Gen-X mother? Actually, yes: a return to "traditional values," which these writers and researchers also predict.

Photo: reelmovienews.com

5 Lollipops Your Kids Won't Eat

Madeline Holler — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:28:00 GMT

Are adult-flavored lollipops another sign of this generation's refusal to grow up?

Who knows. But here are five lollipops developed with the grown-up palate in mind. You might like them, but your kids most likely wouldn't -- or in a couple of cases, shouldn't (absinthe for toddlers? Probably not a good idea).

Maple Bacon. With real chunks of bacon. I said, real bacon ... in your lollipop. Does the stick double as a toothpick?

Absinthe. Your kids might eat these, but you'd get arrested if they did. Made with real absinthe.

Ditto on possible Child Protective Services risk with the tequila lollipop. Yes, comes with the worm.

Sigmund Freud watermelon lollipops (too much meaning in the tasty licking, right? They don't call them "suckers" for nothing.)

Preggie pops. Mysteriously, the website selling these nausea-reducing, ginger lollipops won't tell you what's in them. But they're ginger flavored and work to combat all that early pregnancy, all day morning sickness. Do they double as pillows for frequent naps?

You need to write in and share with the class what you think of these treats/expressions of id/treatments. Because we're all curious. Especially about the bacon one.

In other news of the evolving lollipop, check out the one that cures cavities!

Photo: Lolliphile.com

Babble Talk: Gen-X Parents Reliving Their Youth Through Their Kids

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 22:03:00 GMT

In the latest Babble Dispatch, author Susan Gregory Thomas writes that—according to marketers, anyway—Gen-X parents are spending a fortune on nostalgic toys in an attempt to relive their 70's childhood.

Let's see if she's right. Born between 1965-1977? Yup. Do my kids play with My Pretty Ponies? Check. Did vintage Strawberry Shortcake curtains adorn the windows in my daughter's room? Yes. Do they own Care Bears underpants? Unfortunately, yes.

In some ways, these marketers could be right, but in my own defense, I was too old to play with My Pretty Ponies or to watch Strawberry Shortcake. However, I did observe how much pleasure my younger sisters derived from playing with the colorful toys even though I thought they were kinda creepy. My generation played with the trachea-shaped Fisher-Price figures, Baby Alive, Lincoln Logs, giant Barbie heads, and Tinker Toys.

If my kids play with old skool toys now, it's because they are everyfreakinwhere (thanks to Gen-Xers, right?), and not so much that I am trying to recapture my youth through my children. If that were the case, I'd let them put on "kids makeup" and "smoke" candy cigarettes while playing "Happy Days" ("You be Fonzie and I'm your girlfriend and you have to kiss me.") with their preschool friends.

Shut Up & Parent: Why Time Magazine Hates Babble

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 18:31:00 GMT

Hip Generation X parents have once again come under heavy fire for doing things differently than our predecessors and peers. Time Magazine reporter James Poniewozik writes a gentlemanly but scathing piece about the depths of narcissism to which our craven parenting souls have fallen.

Like someone straight from a 1950s parenting book he gently reminds us, "Once, it was understood that raising kids was about subordinating yourself, recognizing that, at least as far as Darwin and the gene pool were concerned, you were no longer the star."

He assumes that the raft of parenting memoirs and blogs, as well as on-line magazines like Babble prove our unwillingness to put our kids first. By turning parenting into an intellectual, social, and critical exercise we fail to see that we are no longer the center of the universe. In this analysis, parents are to be seen and not heard.

But if there were ever a time to be self-reflective and even a bit angst-ridden, that time is now. As relatively new parents, we learn a great deal by reading the writings of others in similar straits. And if our kids listen to the Ramones and wear Baby Gap, it doesn't mean being cool is our primary objective. On the contrary, any parent with a heart, no matter what they wear, where they live, or what is on their iPod, understands the tectonic shift that must occur when one is the guardian of little innocent people.

Parents no longer look only toward the experts for advice and direction. We look within and to each other. Through our parenting magazines, blogs, books, and podcasts, we are providing more support and real information than Dr. Spock ever could. The democratization of parenting information is at hand. Move over Dr. Sears, we are the new experts.