Strollerderby : Generation X

Generation Xers Break From the Boomers in Work-Life Balance

Amy Kuras — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:06:00 GMT

Most of us, I think, plan to parent differently than our parents did to some degree. And sometimes that can whip itself into something that really seems generational in nature versus just simple family dynamics.

For example, the GenXers, people my age, pretty much parent differently than our own parents, the baby boomers did.

Balancing parenting with careers is one of the major ways those generational differences assert themselves, according to this blog by Tammy Erickson from the Harvard Business Review. For Boomers, successful parenting meant having successful children, that everything you did was with an eye toward giving your children a leg up in the chase for success and status.

For us, though, we’re less willing to work extra hours or do extensive travel to climb the corporate ladder, and instead prioritize time with our kids above all else. We try much harder to incorporate our parenting life with our work life, which means taking a Blackberry to the playground, for example.

I’m sure some people would use this to continue the tired stereotype that GenXers are just lazy slackers, and I give the writer lots of credit for not doing so.

As a card carrying Xer, I think it’s a couple of things: one, this is not my first recession. I graduated from college into a big one in the early 1990s, and watched my dad go through two downsizings at the company he’d given much of his work life to, at some cost to our family. Most of my friends experienced the same. By this time in our lives, many of us have been laid off once or twice already ourselves. When companies are not loyal to us, we’ll be damned if we’re going to sacrifice our children’s happiness to be loyal to them.

Secondly, I think it’s the feminists in the 1960s and 1970s who really dug into the world of work and made it possible for women my age to take those pauses to raise kid, here the career takes a back burner either by staying home, going part time, or just not killing yourself with long hours and crammed schedules. If you’ve clawed your way up from the typing pool ala Peggy in Mad Men, you’re not giving it all up even if you want to. When you’ve been treated as equal to a male employee since your first day, you feel a lot more comfortable saying “Time out.”

What do you think? How do you balance work and family differently than your parents did? And why do you think that is?

Wal-Mart Presents: Hannah Montana Wake-Up Calls!

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I take this personally—seeing as we share the same first name, and now every time I introduce myself to a girl under the age of 12, she starts calling me HaMo. I’ve been a silent victim of Miley Cyrus' rampant fame for far too long, and I’m fighting back!

Today’s Washington Post had a story entitled “It’s Hannah Again. Should We Take This?” At first, I was terrified that the article would be about the popularity of the name Hannah for baby girls in the past five years. But what I found was even worse.

Hannah Montana has teamed up with Wal-Mart to bring tweens everywhere “personalized” wake-up calls and reminders to go shopping—for back-to-supplies, naturally. The call is free! The only price is having millions of teens and preteens hear their favorite rockstar remind them to shop at Wal-Mart, the company that underpays its workers, burdens taxpayers by exploiting public health care programs and development subsidies, destroys the environment, and tells its workers how to vote: not Democrat.

If Hannah calls, don’t answer!

Photo: Washington Post

'Ira Sleeps Over' and Other 70's Faves

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:01:00 GMT

The best part about reading children's books from the 70s is how authors manage to sneak in messages about girls' lib, divorce, and alternative lifestyles amid a sea of harvest gold and avocado green. And if you've never appreciated the lovely comforts of a shag-rug nap, while contemplating your parents' EST circle, then I venture you're probably not yet looking up the nosehairs at 40, you sly boots, nor have you likely heard of children's books like "Ira Sleeps Over," about a boy who goes for a slumber party and finally admits to still needing his teddy bear for a good night's sleep.

Children's books in the 70s weren't just about girl firefighters and boy ballerinas, though. They brought us grand vistas and adventures far greater than career choices and "Billy has Two Mommies":

Harriet the Spy - She's a girl. She's a spy. I can't fathom a more wonderful adventure for an 8-year old than imagining her explorations on a secret dumbwaiter.

Are You There God? It's Me Margaret? - Judy Blume taught us so much about puberty, sex, and other blushful things in the 70s, but this book is the best of the best.

Free to Be You and Me - "There's a land that I see, where the children are free..." Less book than manifesto/cultural zeitgeist, FtBYaM defined a generation of free kids, playing records while sitting on brown corduroy couches, while Mom hosted her NOW meetings, or macramed.

J ulie of the Wolves - Another power-girl story...

Other decades have wonderful children's books as well, but the books we read when young hold a special place in your heart. And it's a joy to share these same books with our own kids.

Why I Dread Mother's Day

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:31:00 GMT

Mother's Day ought to be a time of celebration or at least quaffing of a beverage while sitting with one's girlfriends in pretty robes somewhere. It ought to be a time for mamas everywhere to chill, worry- and guilt- and child-free. But often it isn't.

This isn't (usually) because Mother's Day gifts don't measure up somehow. Rather, it is because...

The Me Generation drives some of us crazy over our perpetual insufficient dutifulness.

My brothers and I hatch plans months in advance to avoid the tantrums that follow if we should deign to forget that is is OUR mother(s) rather than our wives or ourselves that are the most important people on May fucking 11th.

If there were a way to drop out, elope, run away for the entire week leading up to and including Mother's Day, I think my siblings and I would do it. Even when we became parents ourselves and hoped that we'd somehow get a reduced sentence on Mother's Day, we were totally wrong.

And the Boomers say we're self-centered.

Bribing Children: What is it Costing Parents?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 20:20:00 GMT

Bribing kids for good behavior, I know I am guilty of this. I usually end up buying my kids each a small toy if they are good when we are waiting at the pharmacy. Ian starts yelling "LOLLIPOP!" as soon as we walk into a doctor's office. Good trips to the grocery store are often rewarded with goldfish or apples.

I come by this honestly. My Dad was one of those parents who paid us for good report cards. I got my car when I got on the honor roll in 11th grade. I was equally punished for bad grades, I had to pay my Dad for any D's or F's that showed up, but most of the time I was working, not so much for the good grades, but for the prize. I parent this way because this is what I responded to growing up. In fact, up until my kids were born I worked in sales because I needed the incentive of commission to motivate me. It is all about what I get for what I do.

This can be a problem. I am not at all unusual for our generation. The Gen X parents are raising our children with a sense of entitlement that rivals our own. Are out kids just growing up doing what we want for the rewards? Maybe. Is that good or bad? I don't know.

The Good, Bad, Old Days Of Childhood: Nostalgia In The Blogosphere

Patti — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:55:00 GMT

Ah, memories, lighting the corners of our minds. A boomer reminisces at IRememberJFK about playing with hyper-realistic looking cap guns, and more specifically, whacking at a whole roll of caps with a hammer. At Electric City Weblog, Gen X-er Hawkeye waxes nostalgic about getting stabbed with lawn darts and other dangerous childhood games that we'd never, ever let our kids play today.

Half of my husband's stories about childhood end with someone being flung over the handlebars of a BMX bike (helmets? Ha!), while in the early 1980s I was letting myself into the house with my own key (on a string around my neck, of course) and making Spaghetti-O's for dinner--I had to stand on a footstool to reach the stove knobs, since I was only eight. I know eight-year-olds today who aren't allowed to touch the can opener without supervision, much less the stove.

I find myself so torn between wanting my children to have some of the benign neglect that was such a large part of childhood when we were kids and needing to conform to a socially approved level of supervision. What's stopping me? Social pressure to hover? Sky-high insurance premiums? I already know from parenting forums that I'm a rare bird for allowing my preschoolers to play in the back yard alone. Their own fully-fenced back yard! Letting them run across the street to play with the neighbor kids would be totally unacceptable unless I made calculated efforts to befriend the parents and oversee the proceedings. And it shouldn't have to be that complicated. It's not like the neighbor kids have lawn darts.

Top 5 Gen Ex Misperceptions About Having Kids

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 14:00:00 GMT

Generation X is apparently much less enthralled with having children (and better equipped with birth control choices) than prior generations. The mean age of women having children is now approximately 30 years, older still for women with higher educational attainment and incomes. As we wait longer to have children, one would assume that our choice is more informed than prior generations.

Quite the contrary. It turns out the we, MTV generation, are relatively clueless about children before deciding to have our own. Since we spend the majority of our early adulthood engaged in work, travel, and romping, is it any wonder?

Here are 5 of the most prevalent misperceptions leading us down the primrose path of parenthood:

1. Having children will make your relationship stronger
While it is true that children often impel people to stay in bad relationships, research shows that the little buggers might be the start of the whole thing falling apart anyway. Marital quality usually declines after having children. Seattle's Gottman Institute conducted a multi-year study to identify key factors in decreasing marital discord after having a baby.

2. Men and women share childrearing duties and parent the same. Co-parenting works
In her book "The Second Shift" Arlie Russell Hochschild points out that women still do the majority of cooking, cleaning, laundry and childcare, regardless of how many hours they put in at the office.

3. You will get your body back
Read the stats on obesity lately? It is probably unfair to blame the extra pounds on the pregnancy, but at least you can if you like.

4. Wait six weeks after the baby to resume your sex life and it will return to normal.
You sex life won't return to normal (whatever that is). You can write a book about it, talk to your friends on the sly, and do your sit-ups. It will change as surely as your body will.

5. Having children will make an empty life seem full.
Not surprisingly, an empty life will remain empty if one falls into the trap of believing your children will be your wee performing cute monkeys. If you are a total narcissist youth-worshipper, you likely won't be amused by the lack of sleep, long tedious hours, and general other-centerdness required in childrearing.

If we were properly informed would we choose to procreate? Probably. Even cranky parents would agree that most days, it's still worth it.