Parent Entrepreneurs Find Balance between Work and Family

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:34:00 GMT

The Gottman Institute, Seattle's preeminent marital researchers, found that two-thirds of marriages report a decline in marital satisfaction after having kids. Grace and Arnie Martinez participated in the Gottman study which uncovered this (seemingly obvious) result, and used the opportunity to plan for a life with more time and flexibility once their child was born.

The Martinez's started a business, cut back on expenses, and payed off debt, so that they could realize work-family balance that many people strive for but few achieve. Started before their daughter's birth, their pet-sitting business now allows them to work in shifts so that someone is always home with their daughter.

Not surprisingly, the Martinez's report high marital satisfaction as well as flexible schedules which allow ample time for their daughter and for their marriage. Like parents before them, they seem to have discovered the pot of gold at the end of the work/life balance rainbow: simplify, simplify, simplify. And man, I'm envious.

Top 5 Gen Ex Misperceptions About Having Kids

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 14:00:00 GMT

Generation X is apparently much less enthralled with having children (and better equipped with birth control choices) than prior generations. The mean age of women having children is now approximately 30 years, older still for women with higher educational attainment and incomes. As we wait longer to have children, one would assume that our choice is more informed than prior generations.

Quite the contrary. It turns out the we, MTV generation, are relatively clueless about children before deciding to have our own. Since we spend the majority of our early adulthood engaged in work, travel, and romping, is it any wonder?

Here are 5 of the most prevalent misperceptions leading us down the primrose path of parenthood:

1. Having children will make your relationship stronger
While it is true that children often impel people to stay in bad relationships, research shows that the little buggers might be the start of the whole thing falling apart anyway. Marital quality usually declines after having children. Seattle's Gottman Institute conducted a multi-year study to identify key factors in decreasing marital discord after having a baby.

2. Men and women share childrearing duties and parent the same. Co-parenting works
In her book "The Second Shift" Arlie Russell Hochschild points out that women still do the majority of cooking, cleaning, laundry and childcare, regardless of how many hours they put in at the office.

3. You will get your body back
Read the stats on obesity lately? It is probably unfair to blame the extra pounds on the pregnancy, but at least you can if you like.

4. Wait six weeks after the baby to resume your sex life and it will return to normal.
You sex life won't return to normal (whatever that is). You can write a book about it, talk to your friends on the sly, and do your sit-ups. It will change as surely as your body will.

5. Having children will make an empty life seem full.
Not surprisingly, an empty life will remain empty if one falls into the trap of believing your children will be your wee performing cute monkeys. If you are a total narcissist youth-worshipper, you likely won't be amused by the lack of sleep, long tedious hours, and general other-centerdness required in childrearing.

If we were properly informed would we choose to procreate? Probably. Even cranky parents would agree that most days, it's still worth it.

Strollerderby : Gottman Institute

Parent Entrepreneurs Find Balance between Work and Family

Top 5 Gen Ex Misperceptions About Having Kids