Strollerderby : Jennifer Lopez

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Kate Winslet Looks Good Naked

Tripp Johnston Speaks Out: Take My Family, Please.

Is Jennifer Garner in Labor?

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony: It's Over

Josh & Anna Duggar: Premarital Sex

Charles Barkley - DUI, Gun and Oral Sex: Still Not a Role Model?

Public Sex and New Year's Orgasms with Jordan and Peter

Snow, Fur And Sarah Palin In A Bikini

Ani DiFranco Has a Trick Baby

Mariah Carey Eats Oysters, Therefore is Not Pregnant

When Baby Daddies Attack

Heath Ledger is Haunting Michelle for Closure

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 2)

Brett Singer — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Final Four! No, it's not March yet. This is the Final Four Celebrity Kid Names of 2008. Less exciting than college basketball, but hey, it's only December.

Here you go:

(You can read Part 1, with numbers eight through five, here.)

4. Ignatius Martin Upton
(son of Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton)
This one isn't in the "that's not even a name" category, but it definitely isn't a great choice. The name "Ignatius" reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly, the lead character of A Confederacy of Dunces. Ignatius (the character) is kind of a putz, to put it mildly. Still, not EVERYONE has read that book (although many people have) and there are probably other folks who were named Ignatius who were not putzy. And again, the middle name is good – Martin Upton actually sounds pleasantly British.

3. Bronx Mowgli Wentz
(son of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
OK, this one is bad. And no middle name to fall back on. The only hope for little Bronx (sheesh! Poor kid) is if Ashlee and Pete come to their senses and change his name to something else. If that doesn't happen, Zowie Bowie (son of David) no longer goes by his given name; he's now Duncan Jones, although at age 12 he asked people to call him Joe. (His full birth name was Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones.) So lil' Bronxy can change his own name when he gets older. I'm sure Zowie Bowie sounded funny to ol' Dave in 1971, but he came to his senses later in life – his daughter with current wife Iman is named Alexandria. Lansky puts this one at #3, if I were making a list like this, Bronx Mowgli Wentz would be #1 with a bullet.

2. Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg
(daughter of Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg)
This one is bad, although I think Bronx Mowgli is worse. Again, at least the kid can go with Joseph. And while Jagger isn't exactly a great name, at least it's pretty easy to figure out who the kid was named after. Lansky really goes off on the former Punky Brewster this time: he says that he "had no idea that Jagger Joseph Blue was a girl" until he read the press release twice (twice! What nonsense. Bruce Lansky is a very busy man). Then he attacks the now-elderly Mick Jagger, saying that he does not provide an adequate role model "for a baby girl." (Bruce? Try decaf.) Then he says that "Soleil and Jason picked three names and couldn’t find one that’s likely to make their little girl happy," and caps off his mini-tirade by saying the following: "I find it surprising that a woman with two strange names…would pick three strange names for her daughter." I actually don't find it terribly surprising, especially if you consider the fact that Soleil's childhood had to be at least a little bit weird since she grew up on TV, and on a sub-par show at that ("Punky Brewster" isn't exactly "The Odd Couple"). Lansky does offer some useful info: "Soleil means 'sun' in French, so translated into English her name reads 'Sun Moon Frye'." Perhaps somebody's parents were smoking a little something when it was baby-naming time.

1. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
(son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
This is bad. Very bad. I think Bronx Mowgli is worse, but this one is really not good at all. Lansky focuses on what I think are pointless facts: that no one will know that, "Zuma is a beach in Malibu and that Nesta is Bob Marley’s middle name." If they did, would that make it better? However, Gwen Stefani is making big, big money – music, that fashion line, and endorsements, to name a few. So "I'm Gavin and Gwen's son" will probably go a long way towards dismissing the obvious name lameness. Maybe he can hang out with Knox Jolie-Pitt. They can console each other, each sitting on their own enormous pile of money, trying to decide how many women they should take home tonight.

Final comment: Obviously this is meant to be amusing. Having money and fame does not mean that a kid can't grow up screwy. But having money probably doesn't hurt, and let's face it – while a lot of these names are awful, most really aren't Pilot Inspektor-level awful. Not that it isn't fun to make fun of them. And let's not forget that having a funny name didn't stop a certain guy from becoming President of the United States. Perhaps one day we'll see the Bronx Mowgli Wentz / Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale ticket. Yes… we… can…

Working Parents Smackdown Part 1 - SAHD vs SAHM

Top Baby Names of 2008? Really?

Nine-Year-Old Lothario Gets Movie Deal

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Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

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Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 1)

Brett Singer — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I want Bruce Lansky's job. I mean, the guy just sits around all day and talks about names. Not even deep etymological studies, although sometimes he goes there. It's really just baby names. As near as I can tell, this is a way to make a living. America is a wonderful country.

Anyway, Mr. Lansky has weighed in with a list of the Eight Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2008. So from the home office in my, um, home, here we go:

8. Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
(daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)

This one doesn't seem that bad to me. At least not compared to some of the others. Maybe the kid starts going by Rose. Rose is a nice name. Sunday, not so much. Lansky says, "Apparently the name was chosen to honor a patron of the arts in Australia, but most people who hear or read the name will find it an odd choice for an American girl born on a Monday." Whatever, dude.

7. Honor Marie Warren
(daughter of Jessica Alba and Cash Warren)

Again, not that bad. Kid could use the middle name. Dad's name is "Cash." That's much worse. (Unless you happen to be a rapper. Then it's OK.) Lansky says that Alba and her beau will probably start using their daughter's middle name themselves at some point, saying "that’s why it’s so important to pick a “high-odds” middle name when parents pick a risky first name." Not a bad strategy I suppose.

6. Emme Anthony
(daughter of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony)

This time Lansky takes issue with potential pronunciation problems (say THAT phrase ten times fast), as well as spelling: "it’ll be misspelled ninety-nine times out of a hundred." Then he wags his virtual finger at the Lopez's (I say "Lopez's" because let's face it, Jen is in charge in that house): "That’s what happens when you pick an obscure variation of one of the five most popular girls’ names in the U.S. Emma would have been a much smarter choice." Except that this particular girl's name belongs to the daughter of someone who has made an enormous pile of money and is world-renowned. (Hint: she's married to some guy named Marc.) I tend to agree with Lansky that, when in doubt about a name for your offspring, go with the easier choice. That said, people get my name wrong all the time – one T, Bert, etc. Note to Emme: you'll get over it. I did.

5. Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt
(son of Three Guesses, The First Two Don't Count)

This name is odd. Lansky says that this poor lad will have trouble in school and will be forced to explain his name as, "Knox. As in Fort Knox." Yes. As in "my parents have more money than Fort Knox." Then he'll select one of the thousands of girls that want to date him and head over to the Viper Room in his chauffeur driven limo. Now I realize that money isn't everything. But it does make a dopey name a little bit easier deal with.

For the remaining four names, including what Lansky thinks is the worst Celeb Name of 2008, click here.

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Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Babble's Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide

Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

Best of FameCrawler: Week of October 10th

Whit Honea — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Totally Biased Political Post Containing Cute Kids and Stuff (Video)

New Video & Photos: Angelina Jolie and Kids

Katie Holmes Tells Tom- I'm Leaving

Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Bigot Bridget Bardot Mouths Off About Sarah Palin

Tina Fey is Sarah Palin on SNL: VP Debate (VIDEO)

Mark Wahlberg Talks to the Animals on SNL (VIDEO)

Ricky Schroder Talks About Son's Accident

Madonna Scares Me

The Truth About Angelina Jolie

JLo: I Had A Nervous Breakdown

John McCain Bingo!

Denise Richards Reality Show Canceled

Brett Singer — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:00:00 GMT

It's official – you won't have Denise Richards to kick around anymore.

The E! channel has canceled the unwatchable "It's Complicated," which followed Richards as she tried raising her kids and a lot of pets… or something like that. I watched the first episode and found it mostly dull, but also somewhat depressing, since she had her young children on camera all the freakin' time. Remember that it was her ex-husband Charlie Sheen who wanted to keep the kids off of the show, but Denise took him to court and won. It's an old joke now, but when Charlie Sheen is the good parent, something is very, very wrong.

The reason for the cancellation isn't very complicated at all: nobody was watching. Page Six quotes "a source" who said, "The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode…But the audience has dropped off." In other words, people would have been interested, but she just wasn't that interesting.

It's worth remembering that Denise Richards had a career as an actress for awhile. Granted, it was largely based on her looks, but she was considered one of the hotter young starlets around (think Megan Fox). Things were already on the decline career-wise when she married Sheen, so it would be easy to say that she is a victim of Hollywood ageism. But I have a feeling that some of the behavior she displayed on her reality show – the Post cites one "her confrontation with an editor for a magazine over how she [was] portrayed in the tabloid press" as a "low-light" for the series – was also her behavior in real life. That's just a guess, of course. Oh well. At least her kids won't have their lives on display anymore. Maybe she can do "Dancing with the Stars."

Source: NYPost

Image: LATimes.com

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Nastia Luikin's mom watches from the stands (video)

Revenge of the Baseball Gods-Little League Scandal Revisited

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Should a C-Section Earn You a Bad Eco-Grade?

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:01:00 GMT

I was super excited when I saw the feature Celebrity Birthing Footprints over on the eco-fashion website Sprig. All the recent big-name baby producers are represented in their slideshow (as well as a few smaller ones -- hey, Ethan Hawke's lady just gave birth). And there's nothing I love more than taking down environmentally self-righteous celebs, whose carbon/trash/consumer footprints alone are waaaaaaaaay huger than an entire new housing development's silly Hummer-driving, McMansion-erecting, meat-eating suburbanites.

Alas, the piece disappoints. First, none of these celebrities is doing anything more than the rest of us to go green -- even superficially. Second, the little project is inconsistent -- there's no rubric for how they're determining letter grades.

Plus, I think I uncovered this dirty little secret: they're dinging celebrities who got c-sections! (I mean, maybe c-sections are melting polar icecaps, but then they need to point that out.)

Summary:

A's went out to Jessica Alba, Jack Black and Soleil Moon-Frye. Oddly, Jack Black gets the A for saying if he were president, each car in the country would have a solar panel on the roof. (Wow! So engaged!)

Know who gets a C? Tori Spelling, whom they congratulate for using cloth diapers. But she had a c-section, so I suppose she's lucky she didn't flunk.

Other C's, a D and a D- go out to Jamie Lynn Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie (who's international birthing needs cancel out any recycling and Prius-driving they may do around the Chateau). Anyway, you tell me, what do these baby-makers have in common? That's right: surgical birth.

My conspiracy theory unravels with Nicole Ritchie. She earned a C+, but from what I can find online, she gave birth vaginally. So why the low grade? Toxic oversized sunglasses?

Here's what I would have liked to see: more talk about these very rich people committing to smaller homes, smaller cars, less air travel (please stop going to Vegas for the weekend, Christina), lower water use, lower consumption overall (for God's sake, rewear something once in a while). And, yes, maybe solar panels as far as the eye can see (though not on the roof of the car. Do you know what that would do to the gas mileage?)

It's Hard Out There for a Mom Who Says 'No'

18 Kids From One Vagina: Woman Births 18th Child

Condom Maker Offers $1Mil to Miley Cyrus to Sell Rubbers

Photo: Sprig.com

Before and after baby pics from TMZ

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:33:00 GMT

TMZ has a gallery of before and after pregnancy photos of various celebrities; I won't list the names because in our gossip-fueled media, you probably know who they all are.

Whenever I see something like this I think of an interview that Ricki Lake did with David Letterman a few years back. Ricki was talking about how much weight she had lost, and said something to Dave about how it was difficult but worth it (or something like that, I can't find a clip.) Letterman, in his low-key midwestern way, said something very memorable: "when you make the kind of money we do, it's a lot easier to stay in shape."

I'm paraphrasing but the point is that a person of means can hire a trainer, a chef, or whatever they need if they require help in shedding extra pounds. Most people, however, can't. When I see "look how thing she is" stories, I'm always curious who the trainer is. This isn't to say that someone who isn't flush with moolah can't lose weight. It's just nice when they acknowledge that they have help.

Of course, some of the women did better than others in the weight-loss department. But blaming all the weight gain on the baby, especially in the case of Britney (y'all!) seems kind of unfair. Sure, it's tough to get back to pre-baby weight, but it's even tougher when all you do is eat corn dogs all day (y'all).

As for the others: Julianna Margulies doesn't look much different. Melissa Joan Hart looks like a real parent – tired. Nicole Ritchie appears to be at a normal weight when pregnant as opposed to her skin and bones thing. And based on this photo, Christina Aguilera seems to have gained weight only in her chest. Check 'em out for yourself if you like that kind of thing.

image: TMZ

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Denise Richards still trying to prove she's insane

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

It's Friday the 13th, which must be why I'm drawn to stories about weird, evil people today.

Denise Richards isn't in the same league and Josef Fritzl or Charles Manson, but she does seem to be trying to prove to the world that she's out of her gourd. Showbiz Spy reports that the former Mrs. Charlie Sheen is, "pleading with the star to stop publicly bashing her now he has re-married…'He loves to trash me in the press and discredit me and has tried to sabotage my show. I hope that now that he's married, he can move forward and be civil.'"

Now, we're not excusing Charlie Sheen, who has his own issues, to put it mildly. Back in May he claimed that Denise emailed him asking for a sperm donation. Denise's reply was, shall we say, something less than "civil": "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm." Nice.

She also accused Chuck of exploiting, "our entire situation." Um, you have a reality show on E! that features your kids. Pot? Kettle? Neither one of them is winning parent of the year, but I think when you put your toddler-age children on a reality show you kind of lose the right to accuse your former husband for "exploiting the situation".

I have a wacky, wacky idea for Denise and Charlie. Yes, you hate each other. Yes, it's an ugly divorce. But you have kids. Stop talking to the media for awhile. SHUT-UP.

image: Page Six

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Whoopi Calls Out Denise Richards

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Dina Lohan bans Lindsay from reality show; other kids, no problem

J Lo is Celeb Mom of the Year, Dina Lohan an also-ran

Brett Singer — Thu, 22 May 2008 20:40:00 GMT

Remember when I said Dina Lohan isn’t winning Mom of the Year? Turns out I was right. That honor went to Jennifer Lopez, who has been a mother for about 3 months. The award was given by Mingling Moms of Long Island.

Dina was the runner-up, and she showed up to accept her award, unlike J. Lo, who perhaps recognized the "honor" for what it was – a blatant attempt to have a celebrity show up at your party for free. The ever-loquacious Lohan advised today's youth to, "Just to be honest and to stay morally correct. And listen to your mother." Now that, my friends, is good parenting.

If you're going to give an award, you should at least make a vague effort to pick someone who seems worthy. I have nothing against J. Lo, but other than losing her baby weight really, really quickly, she hasn't really shown much evidence of parenting skills, good or bad. Here are a few "celebrity moms" that I would have put ahead of La Lopez:

Rosie and Kelli O'Donnell: it's two moms, so let them share the award. They also live in New York, and aren't terribly busy, so they might even show up.
Angelina Jolie: certainly not going to show, but it's hard to argue that she's a bad mom. A little odd at times, but she does seem to be an involved mother, which she certainly doesn't have to be.
Britney Spears: this would be good only because it would get headlines, which is probably what Mingling Moms really wants. Maybe they could name her "Worst Celebrity Mom"? Britney, sadly, seems so out of it that she might show up to collect her statue (which I think should be a diaper pail filled with stinkies.)

Which celebrity mom do you like, or dislike? Or do you think the focus on famous mommies has gotten to be too much?

J. Lo doesn't care about losing weight, until she does

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:00:00 GMT

At first, new mom Jennifer Lopez said that she was in "no hurry" to lose her baby weight. That didn't last long: the Daily Mail reports that she has lost 40 pounds in four weeks, which would be a lot even if she hadn't just had twins.

I say more power to her; she can do whatever she wants (well, except for doing a sequel to 'Gigli'.) I was a little disappointed though, since if she had stuck to her guns, it might have made women who were having trouble losing weight after pregnancy feel better about themselves. To lose the pounds, she's been spending 3 hours a day working out, which begs the question of who is watching the kids. I guess Marc Anthony doesn't have a lot going on, and he's skinny enough already.

Best of FameCrawler: Week of March 21

Whit Honea — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:00:00 GMT

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WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Jennifer Lopez's Twins

Heidi Klum Talks About Her Sex Life, AGAIN

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JLo's Twins! Meet Max and Emme!

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J-Lo's Twins: Toby and Tutu?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 23:58:00 GMT

Everyone knows Jennifer Lopez is a diva mama of the highest magnitude.

From a posh baby registry to a reputed $1.4 million birth, this woman thinks money can buy anything.

So it's oddly fascinating to learn what she has reportedly named her twins...

Maximiano and Emelina...

Beautiful but pretty inexpensive sounding names. Couldn't they have come up with something flashier, like Coolio and Milli or Pish and Posh?

Will they go by Max & Eme? And how many nannies for each?

Best of FameCrawler: Week of Feb. 29th (Leap Year Edition)

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The Best of FameCrawler: Week of Feb. 22

Whit Honea — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Top 5 Worst Diva Moms

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:28:00 GMT

The top 5 worst diva moms of all time are easy to spot (the special lotions, 800 nannies, and private birthing suites give them away). Perhaps the best known diva-mom-in-training is Jennifer Lopez, whose birth preparations are unparallelled.

Ms. Lopez reportedly has a special suite prepared for her twin delivery that no staff person is allowed to step inside (Diva in a Bubble, anyone??) until she, er, her twins arrive. Imagine the fun of being one of her ~~servants~~ birth attendants.

The other worst divas of all time after the jump....

2. Heidi Klum -- With a nanny to child ratio of 2:1 it's amazing she can muster the energy to shop.

3. Teri Hatcher -- Because anyone who ~~loves~~ hogs the camera this much and dresses her daughter 10 years too mature needs serious help.

4. Catherine Zeta Jones - It's the sturgeon roe and the surgery, stupid.

5. XTina -- Even with all the money in the world, there's no justifying very bad manners.

Now. Who did we leave off? And what about those fussy n' fancy fathers??

JLo, Do You Need Better Baby Names?

Kelly Mills — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:31:00 GMT

I guess Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's baby name choices got leaked, and a baby name book author takes them to task for their choices (they are having twins, which you probably know unless you abstain from all celeb news, and if so, stop reading right now and maintain your vows, cheater.) I could've told JLo that the minute you tell the wrong person your choice they say something like, "Oh no, not Lucius, a kid named that used to steal my lunch money in grade school!" Or other peeps just get pursed lips and say, "Oh, how...lovely." In this case, the flack is because the chosen monikers don't fit the proper career trajectory.

See, JLo and MA are going with Max and Emme, and Xtina Aguilera already got Max (name-stealing is another problem) while Emme is almost as common as, well, Jennifer was a while back. So the baby namer thinks the celeb couple should go with something more befitting a celebrity, like Rufus and Octavia or Tango and Cadenza. (Not Tango and Cash? Ahem.) I think she's missing something here though: By choosing not-unusual names, JLo-MA are actually breaking ground amongst celebs, and perhaps igniting a trend of giving children common names. It's so ordinary it's different! Perhaps Gwyneth will be racing off to change Apple's name to Anne any minute now, and Suri will be known as Susie.

Best of Famecrawler: Tales of a Birth Diva

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

Oh, puh-leeze.

According to MSNBC:

Considering Jennifer Lopez has spent the bulk of her pregnancy swaddled in Roberto Cavelli, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that the mom-to-be is planning on going couture during her stay on the maternity ward. A source close to Lopez said that the singer’s scheduled a Caesarean section, has packed her bags and will be checking into the hospital with four pastel-colored couture hospital gowns and a coordinating robe.

Okay, so it's a c-section (any guesses on whether it's a medically necessary c-section, or just an effort to not mess up her gowns?), but c-section births aren't necessarily tidy affairs. Who cares what one wears into the delivery room, for seriously? IT'S A BIRTH, not a premiere.

Source

Speaking of Divas:

Breaking News: Guess What JLo Is Wearing For Her Delivery?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:11:00 GMT

Oh, sometimes Christmas comes early at the Derby. Just when I was pondering the big questions of the day like, who will be our next president, and how can we deal with global warming, I got the answer to one burning issue that has been on my mind constantly since around October. In my inbox was a bright shiny press release, with the subject line "What J.Lo Will Wear To Deliver- confirmed" and the bold opening sentence (emphasis theirs), "We have info on what Jennifer Lopez is wearing in the delivery room when she delivers her twins." Oh, THANK GOD, I can finally sleep at night!

And what will the star outfit herself in while she's cursing her husband and throwing cups of ice chips at the nurses? Why, a (I shit you not) "designer hospital gown" from dearjohnnies. Actually, the PR folks seem to think she'll be wearing two: the "Ellie" blue one and the "Lucy" pink one. Like, halfway through her labor she'll be doing a costume change and returning for the second half of her dilation in something fresh for the big finale. No, the designers suggest you get one for the birthin' and one for the following day, at $65 a pop. Because as they say, "Having a baby is an extraordinary experience and moms deserve to wear something better than an ordinary hospital gown." Yeah, why settle for a regular person's hospital garb when you should have the very best? Oh, and (be still my beating heart) you can get them monogrammed!

All I can say is, Roberto Cavalli is going to be sooooo pissed. As you know, it's a very big deal to dress a star for her walk down the faded blue linoleum, and I just have to wonder if Ms. Lopez passed over Cavalli as punishment for outfitting her in this Grecian-Big Bird thing for her tour.

Oh, and I love this: "Designed with your comfort in mind, dearjohnnies can be worn during labor, in the days following your recovery and at home during the weeks to follow. Hospital staff will appreciate that you're still wearing a hospital gown. And you'll appreciate the soft fabric and loose fitting design as your body takes on the challenge of childbirth and then mends."

Right. Why, I'm sure when I'm at home mending I'll totally want to throw that placenta- and poop-covered hospital gown in the wash, and then don it while I come back from the challenge of childbirth. I mean, it's good enough for JLo.

Look, I've been up front about my feelings on delivery wear before, and how it's part of the commodification of the birth experience, and how freaking idiotic it is that women should worry about what they wear and how they look even while they are pushing a baby out of their hoo hoos or prepping for the c-section. But when you tack on the celebrity factor, well, all I can say is: Fuck. Me.

Best of Famecrawler: Jennifer Lopez Married to Cardboard Cutout!

Karen Murphy — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:44:00 GMT

Posted by Sassy Smith

Am I right or am I right? Doesn't he remind you of this guy? But Sassy Smith at Famecrawler is (and rightfully so) more worried about J-Lo, and here's why:

Jennifer Lopez Is Made of Wax!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha, well not really, but happened to her face?

Sure she's pregnant with ~~corpse like~~ Marc Anthony's baby and most women get a fuller face when with child, but look at it...something's not quite right. Do I smell Botox? Too much pancake makeup? She ate some bad meatballs and she's squeezing her butt cheeks together because she's got gas and it's distorting her facial features? What is it? She just swallowed a kitten? She's got a really good secret and she's not sharing? I can't, for the life of me, figure it out. Any ideas?

JLo was at a charity baseball event earlier in the day and maybe she got hit with a baseball? Or maybe she just realized what her husband actually looks like and now she's thinking, oh geez, how do I get outta this one? All plausable answers I think. She's got nice legs though, so I guess that sorta makes up for the zombie-ish look on her mug.

Photo source: DailyMail

Also on Famecrawler today:

Britney blacks out (yawn).
J-Lo expands her role. Or just expands. Let it go, honey! You've been holding in your stomach far too long, just let it go!
I look JUST LIKE Angelina Jolie.

Jennifer Lopez Makes Twins the New Black

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 23:18:00 GMT

The Jennifer Lopez bump isn't just too many cheeseburgers after all. She's pregnant -- and apparently with twins. So now all the bump watchers can go buy more film... Because twins are more common than Britney Spears with a drink in her hand... and now that J. Lo is doing it...

There is bound to be even more attention paid to the double-the-fun-trend. Unlike most parents of multiples, however, J Lo will have the resources to hire the right amount of help for the job...

Best of Famecrawler: How Do YOU Spell Diva?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:56:00 GMT

Posted by sweatpantsmom

Whenever I'm set to arrive at the Holiday Inn, I always have my help call ahead and make sure my room is ready for my arrival with running water, at least two clean towels, and one of those fancy paper strips over the toilet. I thought I was being a ball-buster until I saw Jennifer Lopez' list of demands for the London hotel she recently checked into.

Among the necessities that Lopez apparently can't do without are soft-baked chocolate chip cookies, candles by Jo Malone in either grapefruit or lime blossom, white or red roses or white lilies, fruit platters, veggie platters and two humidifiers. These are just a few of the things - see the full list below; after I read it I vowed never to feel bad about asking the hotel for an extra roll of toilet paper again.

And in case there's any doubt that Lopez is pregnant, in addition to the cookies mentioned above she also requests sour cream and onion potato crisps, spicy brown mustard, jelly and M&Ms. Pregnancy confirmed - everyone knows this is the standard hourly intake of a gestating woman.

Did you get all that? Famecrawler also reminds us that:

Even size 2 celeb mommies have body issues
Even nice girls have unplanned teen pregnancies
Even models occasionally look like Thor the Warrior

Matt Damon and Kids "Roll Like J-Lo"

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 29 May 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Matt Damon admits to "rolling like J-Lo" when traveling with his relatively new family with wife Luciana, step-daughter Alexia, and 11 month old cutie pie Isabella, tutors, assistants, and assistants' offspring.

Phew!! At least Damon seems to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. And could that little girl be any cuter? I think not!!