Strollerderby : Lazy Town

Mix Rap With Kid Shows and Whaddya Get?

JeanneSager — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Stephanie in all her pink haired cheeriness just can't take the nasty out of Lil' Jon. So while the assorted awesomeness of hip hop mashed up against our kids' favorites shared by Cole earlier today is disturbingly hilarious, you'd do well to kick the kids out of the room before watching it. Oh, and that goes for this post too.

Some parents get all ferklempt when folks start messing with their kids' characters. But if your five-year-old is perusing YouTube, you'd be better off spending your time worrying about something else. . . namely, them. The rest of you? Check out Cole's post on Unreality Magazine's list of Twelve of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups.They use the word "rap" loosely. Right Said Fred? Really guys? That's actually the lamest on the list anyway - because who wants to watch Hannah/Miley/Smiley/Achy Breakying Daddy's Heart and hear the words "I'm too sexy?" Ew. Just ew.

The Lil' Jon and Lazy Town mash up, however, is pure art. The others are clever, although they're your basic "take video clip, lay new song over" design (with impeccable timing - check Mr. Krabs eye-popping action in the Spongebob/Eminem's "Just Lose It" video). Mixing Stephanie's "Gotta Do the Cooking by the Book" with Lil' Jon dropping the mother of all f bombs? G-f'ing-en-i-ous. Warning: listening to Lil' Jon might destroy your vocabulary. It will also get you thinking about all the funny things you found while wandering around YouTube when you're stuck with only a computer to amuse your pre-schooler (long story, so let's just say hooray for hulu).

In other words? They were missing some of my favorites. So here's another taste of rappers doing it kid's school:

Dora, Dora, Dora the Whore-a!

How does Pablo push it?

Fraggle caught in your throat?

They call him Charlie 3000.

Alllllvin! Everyone's Favorite Chipmunk is Fifty

Moose With Loose Poops: Most Disgusting Book Title Ever?

Can a Mom Pumping Breastmilk Really be Sexy?

Kid Arrested for Farting

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

Cole Gamble — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

This totally made my day. If you need a fix of Bert and Ernie throwing down some straight up gangsta' rap, here you get it. Oh, to live in an alternate universe when Elmo smokes blunts and is packing a whistle (that's a gun in hard-boiled speak). These are a must watch.

Oh, and this ain’t safe for kids.

Get the rest here. Thanks to Unreality Mag for compiling these.

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

Kid's Shows = Impure Thoughts?

Amy Kuras — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:31:00 GMT

When you’re home with kids all day, thoughts go through your head. Some of those are, um, impure thoughts. And sometimes those thoughts settle on some fairly odd choices.

Which is why I found this article from the Croydon Guardian over in England to be screamingly funny. Weekend radio host and mother of two Natasha Desborough has published her own web-only off-the-wall parenting guide, and while there are some funny things in there, the most brilliant part was her discussion of sexual fantasies about different children’s TV characters. Come on, Holy Mary, don't judge. We’ve all had them.

Her top guy? Sportacus, from LazyTown. Now I hate Lazy Town and find Sportacus annoying for a myriad of reasons, not least his weird little pointy mustache and inability to make a damn sandwich without executing more triple backflips than the US Gymnastics Team. Howevs, one could do worse – there are some pretty hot muscles under that costume.

In both the article and Desborough’s site, moms weighed in on their fantasy objects on CBeebies, which appears to be their version of Noggin. Some of them were hilarious (that guy over to the right there? Seriously?) but it got me thinking: Who would you not mind a little action with, should the opportunity arise? And I’ll start: Either Steve or Joe from Blue’s Clues, any Imagination Mover except the stonery-looking one, and Handy Manny’s voice is kinda sexy.

Okay, now that I have thoroughly embarrassed myself, how about you?