Strollerderby : McDonalds

Babble Talk: I Dare You to Cheer Me Up

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:40:00 GMT

There’s little that’s more irritating than being around an insufferably cheerful person when you’re in a bad mood. Sometimes life is crappy and disappointing, and you just have to wallow in it for a while.

Even three year-olds understand this. On Babble’s Kids Say the Cutest Things, a parent learned that sometimes there’s no easy fix for a bad mood: “Our 3-year old was supposed to spend the afternoon with Grandma, but when my mom got sick, she was very disappointed. I thought taking her to McDonald’s (which is VERY rare) would be a special treat to cheer her up. I asked her if she wanted a Happy Meal, to which she responded, ‘No, I feel like I should have a Grumpy Meal today.’”

This little girl is an emotional realist. I mean, would Ronald McDonald cheer you up if you were phenomenally disappointed? Of course not. But I, for one, would still take a free Grumpy Meal.

Photo: tesco.com

Silent Fright: 9 Creepy and Unsettling Christmas Commercials

Cole Gamble — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

#1 Ronald McDonald Plays with Children

If you wern't afraid of clowns before, now's the time to start.

#2 Vern Fonk Insurance Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas, from Satan

#3 Go Jesus

I don't know. I kind of like Bust a Move Jesus. You think our Lord and Savior can't shake his ass? Sinner!

#4 Mom is Santa

When you discover mom is a dominatrix, you've actually discovered two things. Dad's the gimp.

#5 A Very Scary Christmas

Do you think Freddy and Jason get into a fight over who gets to carve the ham?

#6 Santa Takes a Dump

Can Santa sue for defamation of character?

#7 Christmas Morning Meltdown

To be fair, that's how I reacted last Christmas when I got the diamond-studded Hummer 2 instead of the diamond-studdied Hummer 3 I asked for.

#8 Mistletoe Surprise

Thanks, Canadian company I can't remember. You runied Christmas with dog's nards. Congrats!

#9 The Dancing, Stripping Christmas Present

This guy wants to show us his package. Badly.

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

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Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

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The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

The unhealthiest food ever

Brett Singer — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Are you ready to be nauseous?

This item – canned pork brains in milk gravy – has a whopping 3500mg of cholesterol. That's 1170% of the U.S. recommended daily allowance. OVER ONE THOUSAND PERCENT.

For comparisons sake, let's look at some other cholesterol-laden foodstuffs:

McDonald's Breakfast Items

Sausage Burrito and orange juice: 130 mg, or 43% of the U.S.R.D.A.
Egg McMuffin and orange juice: 260 mg, or 87% of the U.S.R.D.A. (that damn orange juice! It'll getcha every time.)

The poster who put the pork brains label up on digg calls it "Instant Heart Attack." I got chest pains just reading it.

Source: Digg

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Nasty Surprise in McDonalds Burger

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Call it a Not So Happy Meal. Or a Crappy Meal. Or… oh, whatever.

A woman went to the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered a bunch of Happy Meals for her kids. When one of them bit into her cheeseburger, she got a little surprise:

In this picture, you can see the two pieces against a white piece of paper. The little yellowish spot toward the top is the cheese that was on it when my daughter pulled it out of her mouth (yak, yak). This was in her cheeseburger! She could have choked. She could have broke her braces on this. If it had been one of my younger kids, they could have easily choked. How the heck does something like this get ON the cheeseburger? I don't even know what this is. It is smooth on one side and rough on the other.

I haven't eaten at McDonald's since reading "Fast Food Nation." While I agree that the politics of beef and the way that fast food companies do business are often despicable, the most nauseating passages in the book describe how the food is handled. Obviously, something that shouldn't be there could get into any food that you didn't make yourself; I know someone who found a spider in a container of applesauce and received 10 cases of the stuff from the manufacturer. But Mickey D's food is pretty vile, so its probably better to just avoid it altogether (although the fries are really tasty; those I miss a little bit.) As one commenter on the site says, "There are many good reasons to keep away from McDonalds; this is just one of them." So: stay away for the health reasons; stay FAR away for the little "surprises" in your burger.

Image/Source: stepfamilysanctuary.com

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Sarah Palin, Sportscaster

11 months old, 62 pounds

Dad arrested for leaving son at McDonald's (what is it about McDonald's, anyway?)

They Say: Make Lunch Fun

Airline removes life vests

Dad arrested for leaving son at McDonald's

Brett Singer — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMT

See if you can follow this: Dave Lieber, a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, got into an argument with his 11 year old son over breakfast at McDonald's (perhaps the boy ate his McGriddle?). Lieber got so angry with the boy that he drove away, leaving him in the parking lot, which was "a few blocks" from their home. He then thought better of it and came back to pick him up a few minutes later, only to find that the police had been called. No charges were filed, and Lieber wrote about the incident in his August 15th column. He acknowledged that he had "made a stupid and quite serious mistake…I could have exposed my son to grave danger. I do know that. But in the moment of anger, I didn’t think clearly." He called The Parenting Center in Fort Worth, a nonprofit that offers counseling to local families. They gave him some good advice in case this situation ever happens again, like "don't take it personally when fighting with your child," that sort of thing.

HOWEVER, two weeks later, after "additional investigation", he was arrested on charges of "child abandonment with intent to return and child abandonment/endangering a child." Lieber is free on relatively modest $4,000 bail, but is still charged with two felonies.

There's an interesting line in his August 15th column: "back in the 1960s, if my parents had told me to 'walk home by yourself' when I misbehaved, no one would have thought twice…But what flew years ago doesn’t fly today."

I can't imagine doing something like this, and only partly because we don't eat at McDonald's. The felony charges seem extreme, however. When I was 11, I could walk to the store to buy comic books (and other things), and I lived in the Bronx. Isn't this the same thing? Or should intent –Lieber left his son in the parking lot out of anger – be a factor? Has anyone out there ever had an experience like this?

(Note: the image is from Dave Lieber's website, YankeeCowboy.com. That's a picture of him.)

Sources: Statesman.com, Star-Telegram

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McDonalds and Shrek Eat Your Kid's Brain

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 20:59:00 GMT

Don't you hate it when something as obvious as a McDonald's campaign promoting Shrek the Third succeeds in transforming a simple outing to Playland into your 2 year old asking about for another chance to push the burp button on "the guy?" No? Well, then you're probably much too busy cooking healthful veggie-filled meals. My kids? They eat at McDonalds.

But nevermind all the beef recalls and the concerns about childhood obesity. What really gets me is all the Happy Meal Marketing. I doubt George Lucas knew what he was starting, back when he turned heads by creating a whole product line from Star Wars.

Now we have that damn Shrek. You know the one. The "movie for kids" that's really just an excuse for parents to embrace their inner teenager and tell fart jokes? Well, the promotion is working. And McDonalds is laughing all the way to the bank.