Strollerderby : Mother's Day

Required Viewing for All Mothers

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 10 May 2009 18:43:00 GMT

MomsRising has found a creative, funny way to put the spirit of activism back into Mother’s Day, which was originally about much more than Hallmark cards and jewelry. When Julia Ward Howe issued the Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870, her goal was to unite women in fighting for peace and social justice.

With its antiwar message, Howe's proclamation poignantly recognizes the political and societal implications of the mother-child bond:

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.

Well, the good folks at MomsRising have created a viral video that will remind you of this original spirit of Mother's Day with a much lighter touch—I guarantee you will laugh out loud. Watch it once for the dialogue, and watch it again to read the news ticker tape at the bottom of the screen. Then personalize it and send it to everyone mother you know. Hell, send it to yourself.

Photo: Ecochild

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Brett Singer — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

There are lots of songs about moms, some with "mother" in the title. "Mother" by Pink Floyd, for example. But that song isn't really about mom.

However, "M-O-T-H-E-R", written by Theodore Morse and Howard Johnson in 1915, certainly is.

M is for the million things she gave me.
O means only that she’s growing old.
T is for the tears were shed to save me.
H is for her heart of purest gold.
E is for her eyes, with love light shining.
R means right, and right she’ll always be.

And what about the Charles Coleman classic from 1914, "Your Mother Is Your Best Friend After All"? ("When your days are dark and drear-y / Moth-er does not grow wea-ry...")

Unless you have a fondness for early 20th Century tunage, or happen to be very, very old, you probably aren't familiar with these musical portraits of momhood. Lucas Gonze, an accomplished musician and computer programmer, wants to change that by transcribing and recording these songs so that current and future generations can enjoy and play them.

Lucas posts both music that he discovers as well as his own renditions of public domain work on his site SoupGreens.com. A few months ago I noticed that he was working on a series of "mother songs", and Mother's Day seemed like the perfect time to share them with you. Here is an interview I did with Lucas via email, followed by links to the music, all of which can be downloaded, legally, for free.

Q: Why did you decide to do mother songs?
A: Mother songs are a lost genre sitting right under our noses. I had no idea they even existed, but there's a ton of them. And they're a cool idea because they go in the opposite direction of things like gangster rap and death metal. What could be less derivative than songs about how you should pay more attention to your mother? This genre is so over the top shameless about sentimentality that it's practically clawing at you, which is so out of style that it's original.
And I like the way that the primal emotional charge of motherhood draws you into a song. It's dynamic.
Also, I almost never do anything good for mother's day. So I'm hoping to not have to hear about how my brother, who is a total ass kisser, is a better son than me. Once in a while I'll send flowers via the internet but usually I just call my mom at the last minute, right at the end of the day when my guilt is bad enough that I have to do *something* or hear about it for the rest of the year.

Q: Why are you using old songs in the public domain?
A: I go back all the way to historical songs because copyright on compositions more recent than 1920 basically never expires, and doing a cover of a song under copyright means you owe seven cents every time somebody downloads it.

Q: Where do you find the tunes?
A: I learn them from early recordings or sheet music. In this case I transcribed a 1929 hillbilly recording and cross referenced it against a 1904 wax cylinder and an 1893 lyric sheet.

Q: Where do you find the sheet music or (gulp) wax cylinders?
A: It's a scavenger hunt all over the internet. In this case the cylinder was on archive.org, the lyric sheet was in a library folklore collection for researchers, and the 1929 recording was on a commercial CD.

Links:
Three mother songs on SoupGreens, via the Internet Archive:

Your mother wants you home, lad, by Robert Price (recorded on 78 RPM)
Snyder, does your mother know you're out? (1899, Performed by: George P. Watson, recorded on wax cylinder)
Blind Willie Johnson-Mother's Children Have A Hard Time (December 3, 1927, recorded on 78 RPM)

Another mom song can be found here: I’m Taking Care Of Mother (While Daddy’s Gone Away) by The Light Crust Dough Boys

Here is Lucas performing "A Widow’s Plea For Her Son" from 1893.

Lucas also links to a big page of mother songs at ParlorSongs.org.

This is just a small sample, of course. If you have any mother songs that you love, old or new, let us know in the comments.

And I almost forgot -- Happy Mother's Day!

Image: ParlorSongs.org

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

Happy Mother's Day Cute Shots

Kitchenista: The Mother's Day Breakfast I Really Want

The Chubbiest Cheeks You Will Ever See

7 Mother's Day Gift Pitfalls

Nine Year Olds Performing Journey Song

10 Year Old Author Alec Greven Is Back

Happy Mother's Day Cute Shots

KeriF — Sun, 10 May 2009 14:37:00 GMT

And you thought your kids were cute...

Happy Mother's Day!

For even more adorable animal love, click here.

Photos:Polar bears, jaguars, and giraffes, AP Photo; others National Geographic

7 Mother's Day Gift Pitfalls

editors — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Ah, Mother’s Day. How can a gift sum up the infinite gratitude we feel towards our mothers and the mothers of our children? Well, here are some ways not to...

1.The Really For You Gift

Surely she’ll come around to the genius of these (expensive) gadgets.

Presto 03430 Pizza Oven, $41.99 at Amazon

ShredderShark™ Paper Shredder with Wastebasket, $99.99 at Bed, Bath and Beyond

2.The 'Just A Suggestion' Gift

Because sometimes the sink looks like it’s going to overflow.

Kitchen Commandment Tea Towels from Kitchen Critic, Tea Towels, £9.50

Sponges, by Reed Seifer, available at Supermarket, $8.00 for both

3. And its ugly twin brother, The Appearance Insinuation Gift

You paid a little too close attention with this one.

The Youth As We Know It Facial ™, Bliss Spas, $185

“The result of our first ten years of ‘saving’ face, this treatment targets all those pesky arbiters of facial aging—tone, elasticity, volume, fine lines and wrinkles—all the way to your décolleté."

4. The Creepy Joke Gift

“Now we can reenact the shower scene from Psycho!”

Evidence Chef's Knife, $14.99, Perpetual Kid

5. The Last Minute Drugstore Gift (Unconvincingly Dressed as 'The Cute Gift')

You grabbed these after the Hallmark aisle alerted you of the special day you’d forgotten.

Black Forest Gummy Bears, $1.49 at Walgreens

Angels of Inspiration Ornament Pewter Keepsake Angel of Spring, $2.49 at CVS

6. The Completely Un-glamorous, Practical Gift

So useful it hurts.

Costco Wholesale, Gold Star Membership, $50, shipping and handling included

7. The Passive Aggressive Gift

One way to let the diva know she can scratch her own royal back.

Diva Darling Spa Therapy Independent Back Scrubber, $6.79 at CVS

And if it’s just getting to be too much, turn to YouTube; comedian John Roberts' Mother's Day spoof will get you back on hold with 1-800-Flowers in no time.

10 Ways Real Moms Are Better Than TV Moms

KeriF — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Did you ever wish Claire Huxtable was your mother? Long for the liberal love of Elyse Keaton? Secretly think you were switched at birth with one of the Brady kids?

Our memories may be colored by our childhood fits and rose-colored lens of television, but as the folks at NPR remind us, those TV moms weren't as great as we thought they were. Here are some highlights:

#4: Your real mom wouldn't turn your upbringing over to the school dietitian.

How much were the parents of Blair, Tootie, and Natalie (Jo was on scholarship, right?) paying that boarding school, only to have their kids spend all their time with Mrs. Garrett? Weren't there more productive things they could've been doing?

#6: Your real mom would set boundaries for the handyman.

I know being a single mom is tough, but really, Ann Romano, spending that much time with Schneider is just not healthy. Unless, of course, you're secretly in love with him?

#7: Your real mom would never mostly forget you were there and then only show you off during sweeps.

Hear that, Ross and Rachel?

#9: Your real mom would never encourage Tony Danza to buy you a bra.

Tony Danza now probably dates women Alyssa Milano's age. Eew.

You can read the whole list here. Happy Mother's Day!

Kitchenista: The Mother's Day Breakfast I Really Want

KeriF — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:30:00 GMT

I was going to write about a post about how all I really want for Mother's Day is a few hours away from my kids, but then I realized my sister already wrote that post last year, so I'll just link to it.

Instead, I'll share a recipe for what I'd like for breakfast on Sunday. No, not a complicated brunch lovingly prepared by my husband (though he is a wonderful chef and would probably make me eggs Benedict, which is my all time favorite brunch), nor an equally lovingly but not quite as professionally prepared brunch by my two sons, aged 3 and 4, which would likely feature cold cereal and chocolate milk. I don't even want to go out to brunch, which we did last year with a newborn and two sons aged 2 and 3, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you how that went.

No, all I really want Mother's Day morning is a few extra hours in bed, with a hot cup of coffee and a banana muffin. That's not so much to ask for, is it?

The thing is, Mother's Day breakfasts can get completely out of control. Either you end up eating in bed while your children and husband watch you, waiting for signs of approval, and then you spend weeks getting all the crumbs out; or you eat it in the kitchen, and end up chasing after the kids while your husband does all the cooking. Neither option is very relaxing.

So I vote for simplicity. Muffins can be eaten while propped up in bed reading a book, or even laying down, catching up on In Treatment.

Then, when you're ready, you can open your handmade gifts from the kids (A felt visor! I love it!) and your husband (A gift certificate for a massage! I love it!), have a giant family snuggle, and remember exactly why you had kids in the first place.

Banana Bread

The key is to use really, really, really overripe (aka rotten) bananas.

1 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 very ripe bananas

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup chocolate chips (or chunks)

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Set oven to 350 degrees. Grease a pan or muffin tin. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl. Combine bananas and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle and beat well, about 3 minutes. Add eggs, oil, and vanilla and mix until combined. Add dry ingredients and mix until just combined. Add chocolate chips and walnuts and mix until evenly distributed.

Pour into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out with a few moist crumbs, about 15 minutes for cupcakes, 30 minutes for 9-by-11-inch cake, 50 minutes for loaf pan.

Photo: MadBaker

What They're Babbling About: Aw, Fudge

JeanneSager — Fri, 08 May 2009 16:28:00 GMT

Since everyone's been buzzing about bad mothers lately, and this is, after all, the weekend for the best (and worst) of them, we dedicate this week's edition of What They're Babbling About to being bad (and loving it).

Mommy just said the crap word. Except it wasn't crap. - Tales from the Mommy Track

Mommy's got 'em sugared up! Give her a double dose of high fructose corn syrup on the house. - ParentDish

Quote of the week: "If I had known how much more immensely interesting I would become by gaining fifteen pounds and running around in clothes covered in vomit, I would have taken up binge drinking years ago." Yes, you need to read it . . . now get on now - Divine Caroline

Could a mother have made one of these cakes? Please, Lawd, we hope not - Cake Wrecks

Fifty-four things we can do wrong? Let's see, I've hit numbers . . . - Really Bad Parenting Advice

Image: CakeWrecks

Joba Loves His Messy Mom, Do You?

JeanneSager — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:26:00 GMT

I am not a fairweather Yankees fan. I love Joba Chamberlain, even when his mom is brought up on meth dealing charges (when he gives up four runs in the first, weeeeeeell...).

The Yankees pitcher's comments had to warm the cockles of moms everywhere, especially this week of all weeks (ahem, look at your calendar).

"You've only got one mom, man, and you've got to be thankful for her,'' said Chamberlain. "I still love her."

Of course, it's not Joba's fault that his mom, Jacqueline Standley, was allegedly selling methamphetamines back home in Nebraska.

It isn't any kid's fault when mom is a serious mess. But this is certainly sit down and take stock week, especially for parents. Joba's sort of right - most of us only get one mom (yes, children of lesbians get two, kids in open adoptions get two . . . but the point is, your options are still limited!).

So does that mean we all have to love our moms? Or our dads for that matter? Or does it mean Jacqueline Standley is REALLY lucky to have a son who knows life throws you curveballs?

Ask any parent how their own parents play into their choices as a parent today, and you'll get one of two answers: 1. They're doing things the way their parents did it. or 2. They're trying very hard NOT to do it the way their parents did it.

We might only get one mom (or the equivalent), but that doesn't mean she had to be any good. And since we won't all have a Yankees pitcher for a kid, we'd best work our butts off to try to not to make a mess of it.

Image: DailyNews

Playdate: Breastfeeding Bonds for Better Mom-Kid Relationships?

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:32:00 GMT

I've read a lot more blogs since I took over the "What They're Babbling About" section for Strollerderby, and Breastfeeding Moms Unite! was sent my way via a "friend" on Twitter.

Not afraid to take on some of the bigger breastfeeding topics, it's worth a read anytime. But one post in particular caught my attention this week.

She asks women today if they were breasted . . . and how their relationships are with their mothers.

It's nothing scientific, and she makes clear she's not actually attributing her lack of a perfect relationship with her mother to her mom's decision NOT to breastfeed. Why then, I wondered, did she even bring it up?

Curiosity, it sounds like. And it is interesting to ponder - although entirely inconclusive. I was breastfed until just shy of the year mark. So was my brother. Neither of us has a terribly great relationship with our mother (his is better than mine). I tried breastfeeding and failed at it, and I would like to think a good relationship with my daughter is possible - at least something akin to what we have now. (I asked my husband, by the way, if he was breastfed, and he had no idea - and his mom breastfed into the toddler stage).

What's bothered me most about so many pro-breastfeeding mantras isn't the idea that breastfeeding is good for kids (because it is!) but the idea that it promotes better bonding between mother and child. Do they bond? Certainly. But better bonding? Isn't that a little subjective? A little "well, my kid loves me best?"

Because, try as we might, as parents, we can't control the feelings of our kids or the personalities of our kids. Some parents and children have horrible relationships because of bonds during childhood that were TOO tightly woven (think helicopter parenting), others clash because they as people are simply too alike. There's also the mere fact that as human beings, we all relate differently to one another.

Our own personalities as parents are distinctly different. Our personalities mesh differently with our different kids. I know some readers will take this as an attack on breastfeeding, so again, please understand, I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for women who do it (and something every woman should try to do). But reading through the comments on the BMU site, I pondered once again how much pressure we are putting on one small part of childhood to solve life's problems.

Take this comment: "Had I been weaned as an infant, I’m not sure I would have maintained that physical closeness with my mom. She let me breastfeed as long and as often as I needed or wanted, and I do feel that that contributed to my feeling that she was always available to me, throughout my life."

That's just one opinion, but it struck me as a perfect example of the attempts to make breastfeeding into a panacea. God forbid her mother stopped at, say one year, perfectly acceptable according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, and just showered her with love, affection and a roof over her head, clothes on her back? That wouldn't be enough to retain a sense of physical closeness with her?

As one friend said when I mentioned the idea of breastfeeding in childhood in relation to an adult mother/child relationship, sometimes mothers are unhappy breastfeeders, women who did it because they knew it was best for their child's health, but end up resenting their children for a miserable eight, ten, twelve months. She posited her own mother probably had post partum depression and was not a happy breastfeeder. Today, they have a stilted relationship.

The best benefit of having a mother who breastfed? Besides the health benefits we got if we were breastfed? In my mind it's the positive role model, the knowledge that someone we know did it and made it work. If we're lucky, when it comes time to breastfeed, we have a good enough relationship with that woman (our mother) to turn to her for advice on how to proceed ourselves.

But if a mom wasn't breastfed, will it make or break her relationship? Take this comment over at the BMU site and ponder it. I think it answers it quite nicely: "You may simply be posing the question of whether or not breastfeeding can make a significant impact on mother-daughter relationships but I believe the answer has long been apparent in the relationships between women and adopted daughters."

Image: EcoStreet

Mama's Got History

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

If you haven't noticed Mother's Day is coming, get thee to a calendar.

In honor of all things mom, we're going old school at Babble. REALLY old school.

Backstory: The American History Guys, a radio show produced at the University of Virginia, managed to squash three centuries of motherhood into an hour-long show.

It's worth a listen simply for Ann Hulbert explaining why mothers in the 1920s were instructed "not to smother their children with love." No whirring helicopters in those roaring twenties, apparently.

Then there's the tragic story of Anna Jarvis, mama of Mother's Day, a West Virginian feminist in the nineteenth century and her daughter, Anna Marie Jarvis. The latter Jarvis wasn't a mother, but she loved her mother - and she loved her mother's ideals. She worked tirelessly to make her mother's dream of Mother's Day a national holiday about social justice. By 1914, she'd gained the national holiday for mother's. But why was she unhappy with it, railing against it for the latter half of her life? You'll have to listen to the American History Guys' Mama Tried: A History of American Motherhood."

What about you moms, do you like Mother's Day?

Image: Backstory

Test Drive a Car for Mom - Fight Breast Cancer

JeanneSager — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

If the family car is sputtering, now may be a better time than you think to go price out a new one. And, no, this is not a "let's drive the economy" speech.

Ford has teamed up with the Susan G. Komen Foundation, and the company will be putting $20 toward the breast cancer fight for every test drive taken by families between now and June 1 (up to $1 million).

That's it. You don't have to buy one (although, of course, they want you to!). You just have to take the kids down to the dealership, strap them in the back and see how Ford fares at turning out family cars.

If nothing else, do it honor of Mom this Mother's Day - statistically, the chances she will end up with breast cancer are one in eight (higher if another member of the family has it). Find out what you have to do here and get driving.

Mom, That Cuts! No, Really

JeanneSager — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:26:00 GMT

Here's a way to guarantee your kids will only say I love you from the other side of bulletproof glass: pull a butcher knife on them.

It's what a Florida mom booked on child abuse charges is said to have done.

Natasha Brinkley's kids came home from a friend's house exhausted, and not up to answering her questions. She supposedly threatened to leave, saying no one loved Mommy, and got angry that the kids wouldn't respond that they DID love her. That's when the kids' dad says she started screaming and cursing, and he told the kids to leave the room. He alleges Brinkley threw a small glass table at the kids as they left the room, and when they turned to comfort her, she pulled out the butcher knife.

Clearly this is a problem parent (at least one who needs to steer clear of sharp objects), but have you ever gotten to the point where you felt like your kids were taking you for granted, and all it would take to clear it up was a "hey, Mommy, I love you"? I try to hold firm on punishments for my daughter, but I've got to tell you, I melt at an "I love you."

Image: Amazon

Save Your Money: Don't Get Mom a Card

JeanneSager — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

I was hardly surprised to hear spending for Mother's Day is expected to be way down this year. Hellllo, it's called a recession.

But I've got to tell you, news that eighty-five percent of Americans will still be cashing in on a card leaves me kind of disappointed in humanity. Because if you REALLY want to save money on us this year, you can skip the card.

The folks at Hallmark and Bouton's have done a bang up job of convincing us we need them (hence the derisively-dubbed "Hallmark holidays"), but do any of us NEED an extra piece of cardstock to sit in that growing pile of mail on the corner table?

But it's the sentiment inside, you say? Yup, a card tells someone you cared enough to go out and spend $4.99 on a picture of two polar bears kissing. The polar bears are cute, but the real "sentiment" comes through in the fact that someone sent one, right? So why not just send an old-fashioned letter, on plain white ruled paper? You don't have to say much. Maybe a "Hey ma, I love you," or a "Thanks for being my mommy." If you want to wax poetic, be my guest, but you won't have to loop your letters around a big goofy sparkly heart on plain old notebook paper.

Since I already sound like the grinch who stole Mother's Day, I'm not exactly crying over the news that electronics purchases for Mom are expected to dip by twenty-nine percent this year. Nothing says "I love you" like getting Mom a cell phone . . . which she now has to pay for montly. And clothing purchases are dipping by twelve percent? Goodie, no more freaky appliqued sweaters that little kids insist Mom is going to love.

Sure, it's the thought that counts, but I've got tell you, I'm still a sucker for the little handprints and the hand-picked daisies. I'd rather they save their money for something they want - and that he save it for groceries.

What about you, Moms, think Mother's Day should still be getting top billing this year?

Image: NBC

Mother's Day Should Be Every Day

Adrienne Martini — Sun, 18 May 2008 20:30:00 GMT

When, oh when, will moms learn that sometimes the "perfect" thing to do is to put yourself in time-out? It's not going to be any time soon, it seems, because every year about this time, just like worms on the sidewalk after a spring rain, all of the "there is no such thing as a perfect mother" columns come out.

Like this one from Heather Cabot. Moms, she reminds moms, need to remember that they need time to themselves as well. Cabot slips in the titles of two new books, both of which are probably delightful but tread well-trod ground. In short: chill the fuck out and figure out ways to get the time you need.

It's great advice -- but how many times do mothers need to be reminded of it? Are we that dense? Or that unobservant? Or that in need of a nap?

Image credit: www.vladstudio.com

Read These: Books That Soothe Parental Anxiety

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Despite its Mother's Day peg, Ann Hulbert's book recommendations in this Slate.com column are exactly what most parents need in this age of hyper-anxiety and helicopter hovering.

Some of the titles speak for themselves, like David Anderegg's Worried All the Time and Grolnick and Seal's Pressured Parents and Stressed Out Kids. But Hulbert takes a lateral look as well, praising Benjamin Nugent's American Nerd: A Story of My People, which should be on your reading list just for the subtitle alone.

Frankly, it's a great list for Father's Day as well. Rather than view this round-up as past its expiration date, let's think about which as these titles you'll be getting the dad in your life (or for yourself, if you're a dad). Unless you really want to buy Pops yet another tie...

A Very Special Father's Day Song ... From Jem

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 12 May 2008 11:57:00 GMT

That's right, Jem. Jem and the Holograms. Now that we're finally done with that wholly contrived "holiday" brougt to you by the makers of greeting cards and chocolate roses, it's time to move our attention to something truly important: dads.

And really, nothing says "I love you, dad" like a very special Father's Day tribute from the very favorite cartoon band of some completely anonymous father out there. Frankly, I'm not sure weekday afternoon TV gets any better than the montage of Jem and her sister growing up with dad only to one day find themselves without him. I think it's clear. He's always there in their hearts. Touching. Simply touching.

Enjoy. And remember, no ties. Anything but ties.

Not What Julia Ward Howe Had in Mind

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Mother’s Day wasn't always about mani-pedis and jewelry: the holiday was originally conceived as a call against war. In the aftermath of the Civil War, social activist Julia Ward Howe issued the Mother’s Day Proclamation, hoping to begin an annual day of uniting mothers in the fight for peace. Howe’s Mother’s Day for Peace never got formally established—and our national maternal remembrance day instead became the most popular day of the year to dine out. I’m not really up for social commentary today (maybe it's all those mimosas I had at brunch), so without further ado, I present you Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation of 1870. This is a particularly good time to remember the rousing call Howe issued for women to act as peacemakers.

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Image: Wikipedia

So. Was it Good for You?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Mother's Day is nearly over. Thank God!! Partners and their baby mamas everywhere are breathing a collective sigh of relief, children are high on the sugar from the early morning pancakes, phone calls have been made (it's not too late!!).

So. How was yours?

After all the Mother's Day sniping and reconsideration, our house was harmonious today. Breakfast in bed, pretty earrings, and blue nail polish. Sweet cards and helpful husbands.

It may be cliche and predictable, humdrum, and bourgeois, but it was grand.

Describe mom in one (or three) words

Brett Singer — Sun, 11 May 2008 13:00:00 GMT

CNN has this piece asking people to describe Mom in one word. "Courageous," "everlasting," and "nuts" are some of the results. ("Nuts"?)

I think one word is too limiting. So let's try three. I'll start:

Brave, invaluable, great.

Your turn. (And be sure to check out Cole's Six Word MOMoirs -- Memoirs For Mom.)

image: CNN.com, me

Does your mom really love you?

Video: Happy Mother's Day From Barats and Bereta

5 Mother's Day Do's and Don'ts

Help me pick a Mother's Day gift (please)

Help me pick a Mother's Day gift (still)

Mother's Day Reconsidered

Honey, Why Don't You Ever Write?

Mom Of 17 Celebrates Mother's Day With Big Announcement

Amy S.F. Lutz — Sun, 11 May 2008 12:04:00 GMT

Imagine celebrating Mother's Day as the mother of 17 kids.

That's A LOT of macrame pot holders!

But Michelle Duggar, 41, must be jonesing for more. Because the Arkansas woman recently announced that she's pregnant with her eighteenth child.

The baby, due on New Year's Day, will join seven sisters and ten brothers (including two sets of twins) - all of whom have names beginning with the letter J.

(One of the most unbelievable parts of this story to me is that this family has 17 J names and not one of the kids is named Jonah, my first-born's name! I guess I can hold out hope they'll make the right choice this time around.)

Oh, and as if this story couldn't get any more insane - all the kids are homeschooled. Because Michelle just has so much time on her hands.

When I hear about these extraordinarily large families, I always wonder: is it fun? Will the kids grow up to have large families of their own, because they had such a blast, or will they have one child only, because all they ever wanted when they were young was a little freakin' individual attention?

The 100% Money-Back-Guaranteed, All-Time Best Mother's Day Gift Idea EVER

Amy S.F. Lutz — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:34:00 GMT

Enough, already. I've been reading all the Mother's Day posts on the 'Derby recently, including Mike's suggestion to provide water to a person in a developing country and Brett's agonizing decision whether to go with the cluster earrings or the tassel necklace. And I have to say, guys can be so, I don't know, so dense sometimes. Because there's one thing that all mothers would cherish on Mother's Day - the one-size fits all, perfect present for every mom out there. And, did I mention it's free?

No, it's not handprints of your precious offspring. It's time.

Here's what you do: you and your kids bring Mom a copy of the New York Times (or Cosmo, or other reading material of choice), a muffin from her favorite bakery, and a giant cup of Starbucks coffee (these accoutrements are optional, but a nice touch). And you say those six magic words that every mom longs to hear, "I'll take the kids. You relax." And off you and the youngsters go to the zoo or the park, and Mom gets a few hours of alone time.

Now, from reading some of the comments on Redsy's post, you would think that all mothers want is to spend Mother's Day having some Q-time with their kids. FYI, those comments weren't posted by real people, but by bots released over the internet by Pat Robertson to make us real moms feel guilty and inadequate.

Because taking care of kids, especially little kids, is exhausting. It's exhausting whether you do it all day long or if you work full time and come home and do it all evening and weekend long - and sometimes all night long. So, I guarantee that if you recognize the Herculean effort most moms exert on an almost constant basis with as lengthy a spell of R&R as you can manage, your wife/partner will be incredibly grateful. She'll brag about you to her friends. And you'll probably get laid.

By the way, this gift is also perfect for birthdays, anniversaries, post-fight apologies - even for no occasion at all. You can give it again and again, and you'll look like a champ every time.

Crafty: Mother's Day Quickie

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

You put it off again, didn't you? Mother's Day is just around the corner and you're floundering around for a meaningful but not too tedious handmade gift that expresses all of your love for your mom. Here's one idea.

With one quick trip to a craft store, you can make this photo fridge clip for mom. Plus, it can have glitter on it. As long as it's not all over her nice, clean floor, all moms love glitter.

If you're really feeling guilty, the best part may be what you choose to put in the clip before you wrap it and hand it off. Think of the possibilities. A massage gift certificate. Tickets to Bermuda. Two weeks worth of maid service. Or, even better, all three.

You can thank me later.

Photo credit: Craftster user AidanNia

Happy Mother's Day Fatso!

Brett Singer — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you want to ensure that the mother of your children – or even your own mother! – never speaks to you again, do I have some gift ideas for you!

Wii Fit / Brain-Age

Wal-mart is advertising the new Wii Fit game as a great Mother's Day gift. A German retailer is offering a gift package including flowers (good), a Nintendo DS (okay, if Mom likes games), and Brain Age to help mom exercise her aging mind (um….). So maybe get Wii Fit for your wife and the brain-training package for Gramma, right?

My guess is that this is only a good idea if you have ever wondered what it would be like to have a video game system shoved down your throat.

Mommy Makeover (Plastic Surgery)

Nothing says "Thanks for giving birth to our beautiful children" like a gift certificate for plastic surgery. Hey, why not get that pre-pregnancy body back the easy way? You look like hell, honey, and I really think you'd be happier – and let's face it, so would I – if you just bit the bullet and got a breast lift, tummy tuck and had that cellulite sucked out of you with a vacuum cleaner. Happy Mother's Day!

Or you could just get a necklace or something. You know, your call.

So, in all seriousness, did anyone ever get you a Mother's Day present that seemed inappropriate? Like, a bowling ball, even though you don't bowl (but your husband does)? Or have you ever given a Mother's Day gift that you wish you hadn't?

images: amommymakeover.com, stuff.co.nz

Top Five Things You Don't Want to Read in a Mother's Day Card

Jen Chaney — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:32:00 GMT

Come Sunday, most of us will receive the standard Mother's Day sentiments, pre-printed by the good people at Hallmark. Our children will hand us a card that says some nice but generic stuff about how we brighten their lives simply by being their mommy. The words will be lovely and sweet and forgettable.

But what would happen if the kids got seriously blunt in their holiday greetings? We might not like what we hear but we mos def wouldn't forget it. With that in mind, here are the Top Five Things You Don't Want to Read in a Mother's Day Card:

Front of card: "I look at moms like Angelina Jolie and I am so happy you are my mother."

Inside card: "I mean, if you were even close to being that attractive, it would take away far too much attention from me."

Front of card: "Know who's a better mom than you?"

Inside card: "Every mother within a 40-mile radius, including that weird lady down the street who encouraged her 5-year-old to watch 'Hostel: Part II.'"

Front of card: "I love you, Mommy. Daddy helped me pick out a present. He said it was something you do not have."

Inside of card: "Hope you like pink eye."

Front of card: "Every day I know I am blessed to call you my mom..."

Inside of card: "...because you're so out to lunch you don't even realize how much vodka is missing from the liquor cabinet."

Front of card: "Remember the other day when you asked why I call you bad names like donkey butt and refuse to clean up my toys?"

Inside of card: "It's because you fed me formula."

Photo: Lifesizegreetings.com

People spending less on Mother's Day this year

Brett Singer — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:30:00 GMT

It's not that much less, actually – a poll by the National Retail Federation (whose slogan should be "SHOP! NOW!", just cuz that would be funny) found that people will spend 51 cents less this year than they did last year. That doesn't sound too bad.

What is slightly surprising is how much they spend, and how it breaks down by age. The overall average, says the survey, is $138.63; the number was $139.14 in 2007. But, according to Newsday, "if your child is in the 18- to 24-year-old age group…they'll be the big spenders, averaging $170.71 for their Mother's Day gift, up from $137.73 -- fourth out of five age groups -- in 2007." One 22 year old is quoted as saying that he's spending less this year because of his pending college graduation. The article doesn't say whether or not his parents were footing the bill for school, but I'm going to guess that perhaps this fact could skew the data a bit. When mom and dad are paying off the credit card, hey, go nuts. Once it's your money? Uh-uh. (I acknowledge that this is a huge assumption that may not be true, so if I'm wrong, tell me in the comments.)

In my case, my gift-giving budget has increased with my income level, but at the same time, it's not about how much you spend. I learned that the hard way one year when I thought it would be okay to wait until Monday to give mom her present. I was pretty young at the time (maybe 10 or 11) and I had made something at school that wasn't ready yet. When I told mom on Sunday that I would give her the gift tomorrow, it became clear very quickly that this was not a good solution. I immediately went out and picked up something small – flowers, candy, a card – and brought it home. Problem solved, lesson learned. Don't mess with mom.

So, keeping in mind that it really is the thought that counts, does $135+ sound right to everyone? Too much? Not enough? How much are you planning to spend?

image: 123greetings.com