Strollerderby : MySpace

Can Facebook Cut the Apron Strings?

JeanneSager — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:28:00 GMT

While we adults are caught up in catching up on our past on Facebook, there's a possibility our kids are going to miss out on one of the great joys of late teenagehood. Escaping.

An interesting piece by Peggy Orenstein in the New York Times this week ponders whether kids will be able "to get busy with the embarrassing, exciting, muddy, wonderful work of creating an adult identity" with four hundred of their old high school buddies watching over a T-1 line.

She's got a point. While I kept up with several of my high school friends when I left for college, it was mostly via e-mail and AOL's Instant Messenger, maybe the sporadic phone call. Although more technologically advanced than Orenstein (who admits she grew up in the "postage stamp" age of college communication), the advantages to all these forms of communication were clear - I could start . . . and stop . . . them at my will.

Facebook is non-stop action. Change your relationship status, and everyone knows . . . now (and trust me, those shockwaves can resonate - ask the cousin who accidentally erased her husband when she was trying to update her favorite books list.). As long as they're your "friend," anyone can and will see - and can and will comment.

Orenstein posits kids will remain tethered to home much longer via technological apron strings, tied to the kids they were forced to spend time with in high school and might otherwise naturally distance themselves from come college. Except, thanks to Facebook (and to be fair, Myspace), now they're tied . . . for good.

I think she might be crediting Facebook with a little more power than is warranted, however. Surveys have found that even users with a friends list in the thousands traditionally only interact with a solid core of "friends." I'd hazard a guess that's the same core today's kids will take to college with them - like the high school friends we kept contact with back in the day. She's also overestimating kids' fidelity. The teenagers I know "friend" and "un-friend" one another with the speed of an eyeroll, to an extent I doubt will change much in the early days of college.

The truth is that old saying, "you can never go home again," will never die. Because leaving your parents' house, even if your friends follow, changes you. Often for the good, sometimes for the bad. But kids grow up - even kids with a Facebook.

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More Than 2,000 NC Sex Offenders Found on MySpace

KeriF — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:01:00 GMT

Do your kids use MySpace? Do they share photos with "friends" they make online? Do they know that some of those friends may be convicted sex offenders?

The North Carolina attorney general's office announced that MySpace had turned over the names of 2,116 registered sex offenders that also happened to be registered on MySpace. Or rather, were registered on MySpace. The offenders have since been removed from the site.

The state said it also requested similar information from Facebook. Last year Facebook removed 5,585 convicted sex offenders from its site and MySpace announced it removed 90,000 sex offenders in the past two years.

In a statement, Attorney General Roy Cooper said, "It's no secret that child predators are on these Web sites. Turning over information about these predators to law enforcement helps, but MySpace, Facebook and other social networks need to do much more to protect kids online."

Cooper leads a group of attorneys general who are working to ensure that social networking sites are safer, by urging them to use technology such as age and identity verification.

I'm not sure how these technologies work, but it seems easy enough to lie about your age; the only surefire way to find out who a user really is is to get his or her Social Security number, and I don't see people lining up to give up their numbers to MySpace or Facebook.

I think simply expecting that our kids will be safe online is a pipe dream, and a dangerous one at that. No matter what these sites do to protect our kids, it won't be enough; there will always be cracks in the system. It's up to us, the parents, to keep track of what our kids are doing online, and most importantly, who they're meeting. Of course I want MySpace and Facebook and their ilk to be as safe as they can be for our kids. But I also think our kids need to learn how to use those sites safely.

When I was 5 and my sister 7, we used to walk a mile-and-a-half to school and back each day. Today, I'd love to give my kids the freedom I had, but I'm too nervous about who or what might be lurking around the corner. The same holds true for the Internet. Just because we want to give our kids the freedom to explore the Internet on their own, doesn't mean it's safe for them to do it.

Photo: TechDigest

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A Safer Space for Kids Online: Hope or Hype?

Kate Tuttle — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:01:00 GMT

Concerned about the dangers of online predators, mom-of-five Mary Kay Hoal launched a social networking site that she hopes will provide a safe space for kids aged 9 to 18 to interact. But can places like Yoursphere -- which charges a monthly access fee and checks to make sure nobody on it is a registered sex offender -- really serve as alternatives to Facebook (or to MySpace, the Sodom and Gomorrah of Hoal's press release, although nobody really uses MySpace anymore)? And is an alternative even needed?

If you read Hoal's site or her press release (or watch the Nancy Grace Show), you are probably pretty worried about your child's Internet safety. You know that there are sex offenders on MySpace (even though that number, widely disputed, is only about half what you would expect, given the general population on MySpace), you know that "sexting" and other technologically-enhanced forms of teenaged sexual expression can get you killed, and you know that you want to protect your kids.

Well, I agree with you about the last one. As for the other two, it's fairly clear that the dangers of sexual predation online are vastly overstated and exagerated, both by shows like Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" segments and by the marketing for alternative sites like Hoal's. And when it comes to teenaged cruelty around issues of sex and reputation, technology hasn't changed things one whit: girls have been harrassed for sexual activity for centuries in our culture, which continues to both demonize and deny teen sexuality. The medium makes very little difference (except that now, if your teen is engaged in thoroughly consensual sexual flirting using cellphone pictures, she could get charged with child pornography).

As a new study out of Harvard's Berkman Center for the Internet and Society points out, worried parents are barking up the wrong tree here. It's not Facebook, MySpace (does anyone still use MySpace, seriously?), or the Internet at large that hurts kids; the dangers kids face online are the same as they face offline -- dating violence, sexual harrasment, social ostracism, bullying, and yes, sometimes (but very rarely) sexual predation by adult strangers. How to protect them? Funny enough, it's not from banning them from the Internet, or stealing their passwords, or spying on them. Just as in the offline world, kids are protected by having caring adults who talk to them, who make it their business to know where their kids are and what they're doing, who know their friends and are involved in their activities, and who let them know every day that their kids can always come and talk to them about anything. Those of us who have babies, toddlers, and preschoolers right now have no way of knowing what kind of technological advances and devices will flavor their world. All we can do is try to keep up, understand what they're up to, and remember that the more things change, the more they stay the same. It turns out that trust and respect -- not spying, forbidding, or trying to scare them (or their parents) to death -- is what really keeps kids safe.

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Is Facebook Making You A Bad Parent?

SunnyChanel — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Do you find yourself checking your Facebook account three, four or even twelve times a day? Do you sneak away during kiddie play time to update your “What Are You Doing Right Now” status with “I’m doing kiddie play time”? Do you let the kids run wild while you scour for news on what your friends are doing in life right now instead of doing some living your self? If you answered yes to any of those questions, do you feel guilty about it?

Erica Noonan of the Boston Globe explored the mommy guilt of online social networking after her two year old insisted on her attention while she was in a “pleasant Facebook haze” recently. She was worried that her daughter may have become a “Facebook orphan.”

Although computer time may take away from the precious family play time, the social connection that is found on Facebook is, she stated in an interview on ABC News, crucial to the well being of parents. Back in the day, parents had more family around and a neighborhood of other parents. But in this day and age, when families are more isolated, this social connection that is created by online social networks helps to keep us sane and not feeling so alone.

Through the comments and feedback that she received, that about 70% of people thought it was a powerful and meaningful social tool and that the key was to find a balance. Yes, it easy to get sucked into a Facebook wormhole but it may be best done in off parenting times, after the kids have gone to bed, or when they are occupied with other activities like a wee bit of Sesame Street or coloring away. Like champagne and cupcakes, it’s best in moderation.

So you feel guilty about how much time you spend on Facebook?

Kid Won't Friend You on Facebook? Get a Life

JeanneSager — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 16:23:00 GMT

We all want our kids to love us even a smidge as much as we love them. But needing our kids to verify we're cool enough to be their "friends" on Facebook? Maybe it's time you get off the internet and MEET your kid.

I laughed at Lisa Belkin's essay a few months back in the Times about her kid refusing to friend her online. She even joined a group of moms whose kids are embarrased to find them on Facebook. Now the kids are getting back - with a group that's five thousand strong and growing, dubbed "For the love of god -- don't let parents join Facebook."

I've got news for you kids, not every mom wants her kid sending her a friend request. If they do, there's a fair amount of us who wouldn't hesitate to hit "deny."

I have always been one of the big proponents of kids getting on social networks, especially kids who need to reach outside of the limited social group in their own schools. Remember middle and high school anyone? It sucked. So why shouldn't our kids get a chance at something a little bit better - you know, like finding friends who share their interests, goals, secrets . . . and know nothing about the day they pissed their pants in the first grade?

But there's Facebook for kids. Then there's Facebook for the rest of us. (or Myspace or Twitter . . . or whatever social media you kids are using these days). Those of us who have opted for a "private" page, wherein we allow only those we've "confirmed" to see status updates and goofy pictures, have done so to keep out anyone who would judge what we have to say on there. For smart folks, that includes their bosses. For parents, it can also include their kids.

The flippant comment in the office becomes permanent when typed up and left on Facebook - by one of your "friends." But where you can earmuff the kids when your sloshed best friend starts talking about the good ol' days at a family party, the cat's out of the bag online. So who wants their kids to see that?

I'm a fully-grown, responsible adult and mother. OK, according to my mortgage coupon book, I am. According to Facebook, where I just wrapped up a discussion with a friend about Pillow Pants, the vagina troll (Clerks ringing a bell for you Kevin Smith fans?), well. . . you be the judge. What my kid doesn't know won't hurt her.

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Mom Won't Let Eighteen-Year-Old on Myspace, So He Stabs Her

JeanneSager — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:26:00 GMT

Shelley Sue Pangle might want to pick her battles next time. The Iowa mom told her six-foot-two, three hundred twenty pound son he couldn't use Myspace anymore. Then she tried to confiscate his cell phone charger. Now she says the eighteen-year-old stabbed her. Can you blame him?

Before you get all horrified, don't worry. Pangle is fine. The "stabbing" was a cut on her wrist. Her son, Terry Gene Starnes, was arrested on charges of aggravated assault after police picked him up, riding his bicycle to get away from Momma Lift, er, Pangle. When she'd banned him from Myspace, the Associated Press reports Starnes became agitated started packing his bags to leave. She was trying to take the charger when police say he pulled a knife from his pocket and cut her. Then he took off on his bike.

What part of "he's eighteen," did this lady not understand? Banning him from Myspace? Taking his cell phone charger? Not letting him pack his bags? He's a big boy - in more ways than one (no dig at his weight intended, but it would make me think twice about messing with him). Is this taking parenting too far?

Image: Myspace

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Scary Teen Kidnappers Going to Jail

Amy Kuras — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:19:00 GMT

This story is fairly chilling, but has a happy ending. An 18-year old woman who, with a friend, kidnapped another pregnant teen with the intention of cutting her baby out of her womb in a suburban Kansas city motel was sentenced to eight years in prison earlier this year. Police said Lauren Gash had allegedly told people she was pregnant and even set up a registry. Her co-defendant, Alisa Betts, pled guilty last week to a charge of kidnapping and first-degree assault.

Betts and Gash allegedly contacted Amanda Howard through a MySpace ad for baby items, and promised to pick her up at her home in Clinton, Mo., drive her to Kansas City to collect some baby clothes, and then take her back. Instead they pepper-sprayed her and took her to the motel in Blue Springs, where they bound her with duct tape and were about to begin slicing her open with a craft knife when police burst in – tipped off by Betts, who got cold feet.

Yeee-ikes. Howard is apparently doing well after her traumatic experience, as is her baby son.

Another scary case happened in Kansas three years prior, when someone kidnapped a woman and actually did cut the baby out of her womb, killing the mother. Is there something that breeds baby-stealing psychos in the water out there? The only person I know from Kansas is very nice and not at all psychotic. And what the hell makes an 18-year old so insanely desirous of some else’s baby?

Minnie Driver Reveals Baby on MySpace

Jen Chaney — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:04:00 GMT

As reported yesterday in FameCrawler, Minnie Driver has revealed the first picture of her month-old son, Henry Story Driver. But she didn't do it by selling pictures to Vanity Fair or People magazine. Driver posted the picture on her MySpace page. That's right: "The Riches" star rolls Internet-style.

I have to say, I kind of respect this approach to the celebrity baby photo. She didn't make a fuss or start a bidding war. She just posted the photo and if people saw it, fine. If they didn't, no big deal.

To be fair, there isn't the same amount of pressure and attention on her as there is on Brangelina or TomKat. And I certainly respect famous folks who take that attention, as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have done, and turn it into a force for good by giving the money they receive for their pictures to charity.

I know that the public clamors to see those baby pictures and that no movie or rock star wants to be perceived as letting down his or her fans. More importantly, I realize that releasing a photo of a new addition is the best way to control the media's appetite and avoid being hounded by paparazzi every time Mom or Dad takes the little one for a stroll.

Still, sometimes I wish stars could protect those babies by keeping their faces out of the spotlight just a little longer. Children don't sign up to have an Oscar-winning mom or rock-star dad. Their privacy should be protected, and it's a shame that in today's TMZ-ified climate, it's next to impossible for most celebrities to do that.

Given that climate, I think Minnie Driver has handled the situation with an appropriately low profile and some class. So congrats to her. And incidentally, wow, what a beautiful little boy.

Social Networking, the Next Hurdle to Getting Them Into College?

JeanneSager — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:58:00 GMT

As if getting them into the right pre-school, making sure they tie their shoes on time, and packing their adolescent days with just the right balance of after-school activities and opportunities to "give back" wasn't enough to stress about for the next 18 years. If you want to get your kids into a good college, you might want to make sure they keep those Myspace pages private.

One in 10 college admissions offers surveyed by Kaplan Test Prep admitted they browse prospective students' social networking profiles before deciding whether to toss an application into the "yes" pile or toss it out the door. Although my 3-year-old won't be posting online anytime soon, what's limited to a few hundred sites right now will be virtual minefield for the Google-savvy admissions staff 15 years down the line. And I don't see myself keeping her off-line.

Unlike parents I've heard who have actually set up systems on the family computer to log every keystroke their child makes (essentially allowing them carte blanche to their child's instant messages, Myspace blogs, e-mails and even their random Google searches), I'm crossing my fingers that the answer to keeping her safe will be in arming with her with the right information. Want to go online? Don't tell anyone anything. Want a Myspace page? Keep it private.

That's what confuses me about the chief Myspace complainers. They're logging on, searching, and finding their kids' Myspace pages - left wide open to everyone, including snooping college administrators. Instead of telling their kids' to button up, they're shutting down their entire world. And what do we all remember from our high school days was the best way to for our parents to get us to do something? Tell us we couldn't. Myspace, Facebook and the like have become kids' alternative to the good old-fashioned pen and a journal. In a world where they spend the day with fingers glued to a Crackberry or a laptop, it's no wonder. And it's just as cathartic.

But for a college admissions officer who doesn't know your kid, who's looking for any reason to throw one more application in the rejection pile to satisfy the college's limited availability, a social networking page written by a silly kid, a goofy kid, isn't going to come off as someone being silly or goofy or just getting things off their chest. In fact, 38 percent of officers said a page view put a child's application firmly in the rejection pile.

So what's a parent to do? Remind your kids, big brother is watching - so keep the blinds closed.

Image: Nick Halstead

Girl Talk May Fuel Anxiety

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Naturally you want your children to have strong friendships, people they can trust to help them navigate social and emotional concerns. But there may be such a thing as too much talking.

Psychologists call it “co-rumination:” the tendency to dwell on a personal problem with a friend, seeking empathy and validation of your feelings. Anyone who’s responsible for paying a teenage girl's phone bill is probably more than a little familiar with this type of conversation: do you think he likes me? Is so-and-so mad at me? Should I break up with him?

As this tendency has started to figure more heavily into female friendships with the advent of MySpace, Facebook, cell phones, and email—which mean that the majority of friendships can be based on chatting or gossip, rather than activities—researchers have started to wonder if it’s such a healthy way for friends to relate with one another.

Indeed, several studies of third, fifth, seventh, and ninth graders have shown that co-rumination can lead to increased anxiety and depression in girls, at least in the short term. Obsessing about a problem with a friend can make that problem seem bigger than it is—and worries can be contagious: if my best friend is so concerned about how many times a week her boyfriend calls her, maybe I should be, too.

Researchers found that emotional conversations did not affect boys negatively, perhaps because they occur less often or because the tone is different. Boys may be more likely to focus on solutions to problems instead of just venting them, which psychologists say is the most effective way to converse.

One way parents can help their daughters avoid this self-perpetuating cycle of anxiety, obsession and validation, and hence more anxiety is to encourage your children to come to you for advice, so they get the perspective of age at least some of the time. Any other tips for parents to help their daughters most effectively deal with emotional upsets?

Photo: New York Times

Is It OK To Be Scary And Inappropriate To Get Through To Teens?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:45:00 GMT

A police officer's talk on internet safety outraged an auditorium of high school students in Windsor, Colorado on Tuesday, when he made examples of students' actual MySpace pages without asking them first.

John F. Gay III was trying to teach the students about how easily pedophiles can access personal information posted on MySpace and similar sites - which, I think we can all agree, is an important lesson. But the students and their parents think he crossed the line when he referred to one girl's page as "slutty," and told another girl that he showed her page to a prisoner, who then masturbated to her picture. When that student fled the room crying, Officer Gay called her, with a phone number he had found on the internet.

Now, maybe Officer Gay went a little too far when he painted a picture of a convicted sex offender jerking off to some poor high school girl's photo - but on the other hand, would anything less shocking have gotten through to these kids?? And these teens are at risk - they're posting a lot of personal info on their web pages, which makes them vulnerable to online predators. Would a straightforward presentation with a few bullet points on a blackboard have driven the point home as effectively?

Upcoming Sesame Street Guests

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you can't stand to watch one more episode of 'Sesame Street' that you've already seen 250 times, help is on the way!

PBS might be killing off Fred Rogers, but at least the new season of 'Street' started yesterday, with special guests Jack Black and Feist. The Feist video has already racked up 750,000 views on YouTube since being posted about a month ago. Here are some of the other celebrities who will do time with Elmo and the rest:

* Neil Patrick Harris (8.12): I'm guessing more 'Doogie Howser' than 'Harold and Kumar', but who knows.
UPDATE: Here's a video preview of Neil as - hang on - the Fairy Shoe Person. No. Really.

* Heidi Klum (8.14): According to New York Magazine, Klum's exchange with Elmo is "Sexually charged," with the E man telling Seal's wife, "Ms. Heidi is very pretty." As far as we know, Seal did not whup his little monster butt.

* Jenny McCarthy (8.15): I have a question, and don't take this the wrong way. But if Jenny hadn't become an ambassador for autism, would she be appearing on 'Sesame Street'? I'm not saying that this is part of some master plan, just wondering. I also wonder if this is the first time a former Playboy centerfold has visited the Street. (Vanessa Williams doesn't count since she didn't plan on being in Playboy. Jenny was Playmate of the Year.)

* Will Arnett (8.18): 'Arrested Development' fans rejoice! According to Mike, 'AD' even had a character named Franklin in honor of the dearly departed Roosevelt Franklin, making this an above average booking.

* Jason Taylor (8.20): After 'Dancing with the Stars', this guy is really going places.

* David Beckham (8.22): This guy, who is he again? Maybe this will be what he needs to really break through to the big time.

* LL Cool J (9.22): I hope this is old-school 'I can't live without my RADIO!' LL. I would also accept 'Elmo said knock you out!'

* Chandra Wilson (9.30): I had to look her up, but that's probably because I don't watch 'Grey's Anatomy'. Since much of the rest of the country does, I'm guessing she was a good choice.

Other future guests include new mama Jessica Alba (OH YEAH!), Molly Shannon (amusing), Patrick Warburton ('The Tick' is the greatest fake-superhero-live-action-sitcom in the history of the small screen), Feijoo Sisters (Cuban ballet dancers I'd never heard of), Jonah Hill (wearing a moustache – this seems like an odd choice but I guess he's a big deal now; I would've preferred Seth Rogen), Brian Williams (who's actually fairly amusing), Gilbert Gottfried (who's f**king hilarious but will likely not be his usually filthy self), Megan Mullally (should be fun), Randy Jackson (Gee, you think he'll say "dawg?" - yawn) and Sandra Oh (who I like, despite the fact that everyone seems to think she's ugly). New sketches too, such as "30 Rocks," "Pre-School Musical" and "Are You Smarter Than an Egg Layer."

Here's a little video to whet your appetite.

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Brett Singer — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Here's some more stuff that makes my kids say, "Daa-aad!"

1. Old Sesame Street episodes: I detect a theme here. These don't show up on television anymore, but there was a series called "Sesame Street: Unpaved" that ran when my oldest son was born and I taped them. The older Sesame Street episodes have a much more improvised feel than the current version. Big Bird looks thinner and sometimes rambles like he's been imbibing something much stronger than a birdseed milkshake. Hey, it was the 70's, and they were still finding their way. You also get Roosevelt Franklin (eventually cut from the show because people thought he was a racist character) and no Elmo (see below).

2. Grover and Cookie Monster: OK, more Sesame Street, I know. But Elmo and Zoe are just not as much fun as Grover and Cookie Monster. Thing 2 actually finds Cookie Monster to be a little bit "scary", although he seems to be willing to tolerate him for my sake. And there's nothing better than a good Grover sketch.

3. Transformers – The Movie: I rented this 1986 animated big-screen version of the Robots In Disguise and we didn't even get through half an hour before Thing 1 got bored. After seeing the 2007 live action Michael Bay 'bots in theaters, he consented to give it another try and we made it all the way through, somewhat under protest. I was a fan of the cartoon, but had never seen the 1986 film, which is great. Voice talents include Leonard Nimoy (!), Casey Kasem, Scatman Crothers (!!), Judd Nelson (!!!), Eric Idle and even Orson Welles (!!!!!!) as evil and enormous Unicron (um, typecasting? Never mind). It also has the song "Dare to be Stupid" by Weird Al Yankovic, and the original 80's hair metal version of the title song, which is roughly 12 billion times better than the lame-o remake played over the ending credits in the new movie.

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Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

Brett Singer — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

One little discussed element of the entertainment industry making kiddie stuff that parents can enjoy as well is the idea that, on some occasions, the parents will like the kid stuff more than the kids. Here are a few things that are technically for my children, but I dig them more than they do.

1. Sesame Street Fever/Disco: these were both brilliant records – and they were records, the vinyl kind; as far as I know neither one has been released on CD. The first, Sesame Street Fever, featured Grover in a white John Travolta jacket on the cover, and included Bee Gee-ized versions of "C is for Cookie" (including a brief rap between Cookie Monster and Robin Gibb, who, according to the liner notes, "appears courtesy of his children - Melissa and Spencer Gibb"), and "Rubber Duckie". This was followed by the even more brilliant Sesame Disco!, which includes "Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco" sung by "Cookie Monster and the Girls": "Me lost me cookie at the disco / Me lost me cookie in the BOO-GIE MU-SIC…" It's out of print, but you can listen to some of the tunes here, and also check out this video.

2. Born To Add: this one has had a slightly longer stay in our rotation than the Fever/Disco tunes, but I still get a "daaad" when I try to put it on in the car. Includes the Cookie Monster-as-Barry White "Me Going to Munch You, Munch You, Munch You", "(I Can't Get No) Co-Operation" by Mick Swagger and The Sesame Street Cobblestones, and the brilliant title track: "There's a lot of adders on the Jersey shore / I hear its the thing to be." (See below for video). This one is not out of print and you can buy it here.

3. Mister Rogers Neighborhood: I admit I didn't try that hard, but neither of my boys ever got into watching good ol' Fred change his shoes and venture into the Neighborhood of Make-Believe to chat with Lady Aberlin. Maybe it's just too quiet for them, but I still find it soothing.

Here are a few more.

Any kids' stuff that you like more than your children? Go ahead, leave a comment. Come on, I won't tell anyone.

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Infant Oversharing and a Crappy 'Poo-stache'

Madeline Holler — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:02:00 GMT

I'm hardly the spokesmodel for keeping family secrets, giving out personal details for a living like I do. So I'm going to have to go along with the thinking behind this onesie, which announces "I'm an accident."

I figure it serves Junior in a couple of ways: (1) makes his mommy and daddy seem spontaneous, cool and not terribly regimented (read: on-demand nursing!). (2) It gives Little Precious a head-start on oversharing -- she'll need it to get decent Facebook and MySpace pages going.

What I can't get behind, however, is (1) the name of the Zazzle company selling these (The Pea and the Poo) and (2) the company's other original design featuring a "poo-stache." Yeah, I get "branding" and "having fun." But for the sake of decency! That smiling face -- the graphic stand-in for YOUR CHILD -- is licking shit from its upper lip!

Stick with the oversharing. But I'd recommend avoiding the combed cotton scat Ts. Boundaries, people, boundaries.

Photo: The Pea and the Poo via Zazzle.com

MySpace, Naked Photos, and a Dumped Teenager: A Cautionary Tale

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 22 May 2008 20:36:00 GMT

The plight of Alex Phillips offers a good lesson in how NOT to respond to a break-up. The 17-year-old Wisconsin teen (pictured) faces up to 16 years in prison for publishing naked photos of his ex-girlfriend on his MySpace page. If this sounds like the doings of a puritanical, punishment-happy society, wait till you learn a bit more about this lovely Alex character.

After Alex “dated” (which is probably a very tame way to put it) a 16-year-old girl for a while, they broke up and she started seeing someone else. Alex decided to teach his ex a little lesson about who she was dealing with—and about being a bit more cautious when she emailed photos in the future. He allegedly pasted on his MySpace page two nude photos that the girl had emailed to him during happier times. Suffice it to say that, according to the police report, one of the photos was a close-up that was not of the girl’s face.

Under this photo, Alex eloquently described his broken heart this way: “Yo tell me this bitch desurves this!!!!!....TF gets my leftovers….” I’ve included the ellipses to indicate references to the girl’s anatomy (or, more specifically, to what Alex did to said anatomy) that are best left to the imagination.

Unfortunately for Al, he took a similarly aggressive stance when police phoned him and asked him to remove the photos. “Fuck that,” he reportedly said. “I’m keeping them up.” Once he was brought in to custody and charged with child porn, defamation, and sexual exploitation of a minor, Alex conceded that he was simply “venting,” but he “probably should not have done this.” The girl told police she was “very upset.”

In a best case scenario, boys such as Alex Phillips would have some really good therapy for years before they were allowed any more contact with women. And 16-year-old girls would not email photos of their anatomy to boys like Alex. And teenage boys would not call girls bitches, and would know how to spell the word “deserve.” Considering that this is clearly not a “best-case scenario” world, what do you think of Alex Phillips: vicious pervert deserving of criminal prosecution or confused teenager who simply took these things a bit too far?

Photo: The Smoking Gun

MySpace Hoax Mom Indicted

Kelly Mills — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:27:00 GMT

Remember Lori Drew? How about Megan Meier? Megan, a thirteen-year-old, hung herself after her MySpace boyfriend, Josh, cruelly dumped her. This itself would be bad enough, but the real ugly part is that Josh didn't exist. He was the creation of Lori Drew, who was Megan's neighbor and the mother of a girl Megan was once friends with. Drew, with the aid of a nineteen-year-old employee of hers, created Josh, maintained a relationship with Megan, laughed abut it and let her daughter and daughter's friend in on the joke, and then had "Josh" tell Megan the world would be better off without her.

Since being a phenomenally evil creep isn't a crime, investigators didn't charge Drew in the case. But now a federal grand jury has indicted her on one count of conspiracy and three counts of using protected computers without authorization to get information used to harass and torment a teenage girl. Each charge carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison. The indictment includes the fact that MySpace users agree to terms forbidding users from promoting information they know to be false, soliciting personal information from anyone under eighteen, and using the site to harass others. Drew of course did all of the above. Too bad there isn't really a punishment that can make up for what she did.

Photo: Tom Gannam / AP

Is Facebook Safe for Children?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

As the days of “Can Jimmy come out to play?” give way to “Can I invite Jimmy to be my friend on MySpace?,” social networking sites are faced with an obligation to protect youth from predation and inappropriate content. Following in the footsteps of MySpace, Facebook has agreed to implement increased protections for young users. From now on, users under 18 must affirm that they’ve read safety tips when they sign up; a “report abuse” icon will be prominently featured throughout the site; users will not be able to change their age from over 18 to under 18 without being reviewed by Facebook staff; and material flagged as inappropriate will be removed within 24 hours. Facebook is also working on developing behavioral technology that will make it easier to identify when a user is lying about his or her age.

Naturally, no matter how “safe” Facebook becomes, it’s up to parents to make sure their children fully understand the importance of Internet safety. How have parents out there dealt with this issue? What age is it appropriate for a child to join MySpace or Facebook? Do you monitor your children’s online interactions?

There’s also the simple danger of youth wasting far too much time on the computer. Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days when a “friend” was someone you built a fort in the backyard with, not someone you gossiped with while sitting in front of a computer screen.

Photo: srenrique.com

Facebook Fighting: Kids and Online Bullying

Kelly Mills — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:32:00 GMT

In general, I'm suspicious of hysteria surrounding how kids use the latest technology--nine times out of ten, they just do the same things kids have always done, but in a more high tech way. However, I'm a little torn as to whether social networking sites are bringing changes to interactions on middle and high school campuses. The Washington Post had one piece on a few fights that started on Facebook, and later became physical confrontations, prompting the principal to ask parents to monitor their kids online.

Frankly, that doesn't seem much different than an argument starting in any off-campus physical space. But Facebook and MySpace have brought some changes to bullying. See, it used to be only the kids with social or physical power over other kids could do big-time bullying. But now, kids can post things about classmates anonymously, and that stuff can spread quickly across a campus. In some ways I suppose it creates more equal opportunities for cruelty, but I have to tell you, nowadays many kids who gets seriously picked on find some of the worst stuff comes from webpages that can be viewed by tons of people. Trust me, we'll be hearing about this one for a while to come.

Dr. Phil Bails Girl Arrested For Videotaped Beating of Classmate

Cole Gamble — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMT

The Dr. Phil show has seen fit to pony up bail for one of the girls recently arrested for beating a classmate unconscious and video taping the crime with intent to post on You Tube. When asked about the motivation, staffers for the show said it is common show policy to make financial contrubtions to former guests and hopeful future guests.

Where do I spew my bile first?

This brings up a few points in my mind:

1) Ah high school, how I miss it. Times sure have changed. Now that bullies have resources like MySpace and You Tube, kids can get ridiculed, battered and emotionally crushed without leaving the comfort of their homes. I don't want to date myself, but back in my day if someone wanted to destroy you socially they simply passed a rumor around school that you had herpes. Will it ever be so innocent again?

2) What's with the trend of video recording your crimes and posting them on You Tube? Maybe it's the era of the reality show seen to its only logical conclusion. Fame is fame, right?

3) With this following fast on the heels on Dr. Phil's Ill-advised Brittany Spears intervention/publicity stunt, is it clear to everyone now that this guy, or at least his show, is bottom-feeding? Oh, and he drives a $250,000 Lamborghini. Get over that!

By the way, my Babble Buddy Brett offered this tidbit of Dr. Phil trivia: Do you know what Dr. Phil did is doctoral thesis on? Arthritis. Hmmm, maybe you should just give me a cream for my crampy hands, Dr. Phil, and stop giving me advice.

Photo: www.blog.wired.com

Pregcellent: Lisa Marie and Baby Bumps

Kelly Mills — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:27:00 GMT

If you've been to our celebrity-following sister blog Famecrawler, you know Lisa Marie Presley is pregnant. And pissed. And suing. You know, because of the whole problem so many of us face: Just as you are trying to decide who to share the happy news of your expecting-ness with, the tabloids start printing a rash of stories about how you let yourself go because you've gotten a bit heavier. And then there's some ugly comparisons to your dad, and speculation you will die the same way he did. You know, typical stuff.

Lisa Marie wrote a whole thing on her MySpace page about how hurt and angry she is by this, and she's taking the tabloids to task for the unkindness. But one of the more interesting things about it all is (as the Five Resolutions blog points out) how the same papers that lambasted her for putting on pounds are now characterizing her as the glowing, lovely pregnant lady. Right, because those folks were just worried about her health before, and now they are so relieved. I mean, if she was getting fat, then bad on her, but if she's pregnant, well, she looks radiant. Hold on, I think I feel my own morning sickness coming on, and I'm not even pregnant... Perhaps we have a new rule of thumb here: Wait until after the first trimester to make your pregnancy public. Unless you are famous and the papers start saying you are turning into Elvis--then you just wait until the coverage gets mean enough.

What Does Your Day-Care Operator Do In Her Spare Time?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:57:00 GMT

Laura Palos-Martinez, an Oceanside, California day-care operator, is being investigated by Child Protection Services after she posted on her MySpace page, "I own my children's day care. At night my job changes. I am a sex consultant . . . I sell adult toys."

Police acknowledge that selling sex toys isn't against the law, but claim that CPS was involved because "it may be a moral issue."

Although I admit my first thought upon hearing about this story was, "WHY would someone who owns a day care be stupid enough to brag about selling sex toys on MySpace?", my second - and, in my opinion, more interesting - thought was, "Do the parents of the kids in the day care have a right to know?"

My third thought was, "I'm not sure."

There are compelling arguments on both sides. I would imagine I'd have trouble finding any parents who had no interest in the character of their childcare providers, and I would also imagine that many parents would consider active involvement in the sex industry a character flaw of sorts. And maybe they're right, that such a person would be more likely to take naked pictures of their kids than, say, someone who spent her evenings arranging her stamp collection. But I also think that what people do in their free time is their own business, as long as it's not illegal, and that what's really important in choosing a day-care center is whether it's clean, and safe, and whether the children are well-cared for.

Which, in this case, they're not. On Tuesday, Palos-Martinez was arrested after a three-year-old in her care wandered off and was found hours later more than two miles away.

Coincidence? Who knows? It would probably be irresponsible, from a scientific point of view, to conclude from one data point that sex-toy purveyors make bad babysitters.

MySpace Tries to Clean Up for the Kids

Karen Murphy — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Oh, MySpace, home of the pornbots, the spambots, the obsessive commenters. Where people really do have 289,000 friends. Where a teenager's parents can help humilate another teen into suicide. And where kids lie about their ages to create a profile and post inappropriate photos of themselves for all to see.

Well, MySpace is trying to clean up its act to protect the underage, and is allying with the attorneys general of 49 states (I wonder which state was the lone holdout here?) to "fight sexual predators and clean up social networks". Think it'll work? Here's what they're doing:

Letting parent submit a list of their kids' email addresses to MySpace so that if the kid tries to create a profile there they are turned down. Except, uh, a kid can create a new email address in like 20 seconds. Brilliant, MySpace!

It will also set the profiles of all 16 and 17-year-olds to private, so only their established online friends can visit their pages - essentially creating a “closed” section for users under age 18. Except, uh, what kid doesn't have the ability to lie about his age and create a profile of someone slightly older? Even my incredibly naive 12-year-old knows this is what you do to set up a profile on some site that has problems with the, say, under-13 crowd. Besides, how many MySpace profiles have I seen of people that purport to be 99 or 100? Think they're really that old? I mean, does anybody think that, even MySpace?

MySpace is also planning to hire a contractor to identify and delete pornographic images on the site. Think they're having a bit of a bidding war on that contract? And who decides what is "pornographic"?

And MySpace will also "take charge of an Internet safety technical task force to develop age and identity verification tools for social networking sites." Huh? Is that newspeak? Uh, ok, so what would these tools be, exactly? Sounds good, doesn't it? But I don't see how you could possibly insist people be 100% honest about their age or identity on a social networking site. Good luck with that one.

Photo: parentdish.com

Update on Megan Meier Story: The Drews, and Making Online Harassment a Crime

Kelly Mills — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 14:09:00 GMT

Since the story of 13-year-old Megan Meier's suicide broke, the lives of Lori and Curt Drew have gotten real different. Lori Drew was the neighbor who created, along with an 18-year-old employee, a fictitious profile of a boy named "Josh" on MySpace. Megan considered Josh her boyfriend, and Lori Drew, her daughter, and the employee sent messages to Megan as Josh. When "Josh" abruptly broke off the relationship, saying he heard she wasn't nice to her friends, and others joined the online fray, sending insulting messages to Megan, she went upstairs to her bedroom and hung herself.

Lori and Curt Drew's personal information was widely circulated on the internet, where mass outrage was expressed (by me too) that an adult would do this to a teen. Megan's parents had no legal recourse against the Drews. Now the town where they lived has passed a resolution making cyberstalking a misdemeanor. The Drews have been widely condemned, and the day after the story broke someone called police and falsely reported a murder at the Drew residence. They've received death threats and a brick though their window. Now it seems the Drews have disappeared, leaving their home and their jobs. Their current whereabouts are largely unknown.

Teen Kills Herself Over Fake MySpace Boyfriend Created By Adults

Kelly Mills — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:02:00 GMT

If you've been following this story, you know it is devastatingly twisted. Megan Meier, a thirteen-year-old girl, met a sixteen-year-old boy named Josh on MySpace. He told her she was pretty and they had an online relationship. Then Josh abruptly told her he didn't want to be her friend anymore because he heard she was mean. He began posting bulletins: Megan is a slut. Megan is fat. Megan, who took medication for depression and ADHD, went upstairs to her room and hung herself. She died the next day.

Six weeks after Megan died, her parents learned that Josh was not a real person--he was created by the parents of a girl who lived down the street, a girl who had once been Megan's friend. The messages had been sent by the parents and their daughter, and they had invited another girl to join in the fun. Before the ambulance left Megan's house they called this girl and told her not to tell anyone about the MySpace profile. These neighbors were friends with Megan's family. They attended Megan's funeral.

The paper that broke the story did not print the names of these parents, and bloggers howled in protest. Some, most notably Jezebel, went on to print their names. There's some journalistic questions in there, about what information is necessary and important to report and what does more harm than good. All really good issues to consider, but mostly I could give a rat's ass about that because I read this as a parent, thinking of Megan's parents' pain.

I highly recommend reading the St. Charles Journal report on Megan's death, but be prepared for heartbreak. Megan's mother blames herself. She was angry at her daughter for not logging off when asked. She was home when Megan killed herself. She and Megan's father have basically no recourse against the family that did this. And I cannot find strong enough words for the disgust I feel towards adults--parents themselves--who tormented a teenage girl. On some level I understand all kinds of cruelty, but this one is almost beyond me. It's despicable and insanely sick and just gross. I fervently hope the rest of their lives are a daily hell.