Strollerderby : Photoshop

New Mom Jessica Alba Was Totally Photoshopped - Check Out the Before & After Pics

SunnyChanel — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Seeing Jessica Alba showing off her sleek and lithe body in the recent Campari campaign totally pissed me off. Yeah, I was jealous. After 2 ½ years I still don’t have my belly back in any semblance of it’s prebaby form. So I was partly thrilled and partly disgusted to see the leaked photos that prove that they did a total PhotoShop overhaul on Jessica Alba’s body, the new mother of a five month old.

The graphics team made some pretty drastic changes to the images taken by Mario Testino. They took off inches from her waist and hips, gave a lift to her bustline and made her skin look like flawless buttered caramel. Thing is she looks just as good in her original photos, it doesn’t seem like they needed to make the adjustments they did, or as drastically. Regardless, pre PhotoShop she still looks amazing after having a baby five months ago. And yes, I’m still jealous.

Do you think they needed to make so many changes to Jessica Alba's image?

Oh and check out Hannah's post New Mom Jessica Alba Poses in Campari Calendar here

Disaster Girl Strikes!

Kelly Mills — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:32:00 GMT

No one can look more terrifying than a kid. Demon-children make the best monsters, maybe because there's something so terrifying about looking innocent but being heartless. Like Disaster Girl. She scares me.

Okay, now Disaster Girl is actually a picture of a kid with a Mona Lisa-like smaile and sinister expression near a fire. Now folks have photoshopped her into many tragedies, documenting her reign of terror. There's a couple here, but you should totally check out the full gallery. And maybe even make one of your own. Mwah ha ha.

When Legos Become Art

Video of Baby Panda Playing

Most Wanted Puts Deadbeat Dads . . . and One Mom Online

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:02:00 GMT

If you're planning a divorce, you might want to move to the South. First it was Tennessee yanking fishing and hunting licenses from deadbeat parents. Now Virginia is placing parents who evade their child support responsibilities atop its Most Wanted criminals list.

They don't play in Dixie.

Pictures of eight deadbeat dads and one deadbeat mother are now posted online at the Virginia Department of Social Services website, along with their dates of birth, number of children, height, weight, occupation and last known address. It's like the list in the back of the newspaper for people who don't pay their property taxes . . . with pictures to double the laughs.

The crappiest dad of the year award goes to Joseph Hollenbach, a quality assurance inspector from Pennsylvania who owes more than $177,000 to his baby mama. The, "Look They Photoshopped My Giant Head Onto a Puny Body and All I Got Was a Spot on the Most Wanted List" award goes to Jad Salah Amra, who we can add to the list of shyster car salesmen with his refusal to pay more than $97,000 to support his three kids.

Want to see the whole list? Be sure to check out Bobby Joe Cannon Jr.'s grinning high school yearbook photo. Hey Class of 1990, look at him now!

Image: Revengemark

Don't Pay Child Support? Bid the Gun Rack Bye Bye

Dad To Step-Daughter: Clean Your Room or I'll Lock Us All In Here

Five-Year-Old Catches STD From Dad's Towel?

They Say: Dads Cheat, but Not for Sex

Palin and Biden's Love Child - Take a Look

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:28:00 GMT

OK, so Palin and Biden didn't really make a love child. Although, if they did, I betcha she'd deliver - even if the amnio said it was going to be a Democrat. And thanks to the wonders of Photoshop (which has done wonders in removing from each family picture the smear of something or other that my daughter has wiped across her cheek juuuust before the shutter was snapped), we now know just what the BiPal would look like.

You might want to lower your speakers, the accompanying music reminds me of one of those movies we used to watch in science class, but definitely take note the smearing on of lipstick. On this, day 26 of the countdown until the election, enjoy!

Should We Raise Little Democrats or Republicans?

Teen Marriage: It Can Last a Lifetime

What Bristol Palin Can Expect, After Baby Algebra

Preventing Teen Pregnancy, One Tick at a Time

Sarah Palin is Not a Lesbian?

How much is Sarah Palin worth?

Sarah Palin pro choice -- for gays

They say: Sarah Palin should step down

Were the Twins (Yes, Those Twins) Photoshopped?

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:28:00 GMT

Every cover girl experiences what it feels like to not be good enough in the eyes of an art director with a knack for Photoshop. Shave off a flabby arm here, take in a thick waist there, airbrush, gloss-over, stick her head on an underfed model's body.

So why should Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt know otherwise? Yes, she's born of a perfect DNA match. Indeed, she is but weeks old. But still, after People paid all that money for the pics, shouldn't THEY get to perfect half of the world's most awaited babies (sorry, if you thought yours were).

NY Mag is calling Photoshop on the People magazine cover and arguing that the little girl's ... smile was cut and pasted on her face. Here's what they say:

In that cover photo, it looks like Vivienne Marcheline — clearly the Ashley half of this Olsen-like combo — is sporting a giant grin. She may even be laughing. Hold on. These babies are purported to be a mere 3 weeks old! Parenting magazine says that babies don't smile from exterior stimulation until two to four months — even if said exterior stimulation is the most beautiful pair of humans in the entire world.

What to you think? Photoshopped? Or is Vivi working out a bit of flatulence. Come on, we parents know even newborns make all kinds of faces, even if Parenting magazine hasn't explicitly told us so.

First Pictures of Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt Mean Goodbye Brangelina

Angelina and Brad's First Picture of the Twins! Meet Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt!

Photo: tattletart.com

When Art and Horror Meet

Kelly Mills — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:32:00 GMT

I consider it part of my job as a parent to expose my child to the Arts, dahling. We have some books of famous paintings, and ever since my child was a toddler I've pulled them out and showed her famous paintings. "Can you find the apple in the still life? Isn't it interesting how the artist used that perspective to make the apple look so three-dimensional?"Crap like that. My husband, however, has to wait until she's older to give her his cultural contribution: A strong background in the finest horror films ever made. Somehow it just doesn't work as well to say to a six-year-old, "Look at how they built tension in this film using that cold daytime lighting. You really start to anticipate the zombie's attack."

So when the better half sent me this link, it seemed like the perfect marriage of art and horror. I have to say, some folks are really friggin' talented with the Photoshop. 'Course most of these are still too bloody and intense to expose my kid to, but then again, so are a fair number of the original paintings. For now, we'll just have to content ourselves with the showing her ascension of the Creature from the Black Lagoon and so on. But the minute she's old enough... Nothing like a little Renaissance art to uplift the spirit and give you nightmares.

Do You Photoshop your Kids?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:15:00 GMT

Do you Photoshop pictures of your children? Do you remove food from their little faces or edit that big bump off of their head? I know most of us know how to take out the red eye, but do we make the drool disappear? I don't (but only because I am too lazy and don't know how to use Photoshop. Oh right, and I don't think I even own Photoshop) but Zac from Baby Roadies does.

But is it vanity? Zac wonders if it is an effort to prove that his kid is the most attractive child in the world or simply using the technology at hand. I don't know. I lean towards the school of thought that opts to use whatever is available to make my life easier and more pleasant. I am completely okay with touching up pictures. In fact, once I had a friend of mine Photoshop snot off of my daughter's face for a Christmas card. That being said, I also kept a version with the snot still on her face so that I could remember what life was really like.

What about you guys? Do you retouch photographs of your kids?