Strollerderby : San Francisco

Best Child Music Reviewer in the World

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:03:00 GMT

Every once in a while someone comes up with a pure genius idea for a blog, and it's nearly impossible to turn away. DJ B's Library Tour is exactly that -- pure genius. Every week mom Jennifer and DJ B head to the San Francisco public library to peruse the CD section before heading home to write a review -- from a 2-year-old's perspective.

Want to know what a 2-year-old really thinks of Celine Dion? Or Queen Latifah? I still have trouble figuring out whether these reviews are ironic or earnest, but maybe therein lies the genius.

On Hall and Oates: "So,in response to the stupid joke from my high school days, "Who do you like better: Hall or Oates?," Miss B's answer would have to be "neither." "

On De La Soul: "While listening she crept around the room, acting very sneaky. All of a sudden she bit my leg. After that she went behind the curtain, curled up on the floor and pretended to nap."

On Nigel Kennedy: "It's Cinderella music."

I can't wait until they get to U2. Or even better, Tiffany.

Who Would You Name Your Local Sewage Plant After?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:34:00 GMT

Every year, there are all these arcane questions on the ballot: voters are asked to decide whether city officials should issue more reports, or how often the grass in city parks should be mowed- usually things the average voter cares nothing about.

This November, however, voters in San Francisco will have the opportunity to decide this question: Should the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant be renamed the George W. Bush Sewage Plant?

Naturally, local Republicans oppose the measure. Supporters say that Bush deserves the honor, given the mess he's made with the economy and the war in Iraq.

Tiger Attack At SF Zoo

Kelly Mills — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 13:30:00 GMT

If you read any news at all, you probably know that over in my neck of the woods a Siberian tiger named Tatiana escaped from her enclosure/cage/cell and killed 17-year-old Carlos Sousa Jr., then seriously wounded two other young men. Best guess so far is that she jumped over the wall erected to keep her and her kind away from the humans, tore out the boy's throat, then tracked his two companions and cornered them near the cafe. Police, who responded to the call that an animal had escaped, found Tatiana on top of one of the boys. They distracted her with patrol car lights, then opened fire with .40-caliber handguns, firing an unknown number of rounds and killing her.

The attack has raised a bunch of questions, including speculation about whether the boys taunted the tiger and whether zoos are humane and if tigers should be kept in captivity. For me right now, I'm less interested in whether the boys said Tatiana's mom was a fireplace rug or even the ethics of zoos until we really establish one question in particular: How did a 350-pound tiger escape? Zoo officials have admitted the wall surrounding the tiger enclosure was four feet lower than recommended national standard. Hey, weren't alot of these places built a while back? Anyone verified the safety of most of these animal pens lately? Not to be all scary-lady, but I'd feel a little bit more comfortable knowing that zoos aren't just flimsy boxes around wild and stir-crazy animals. Because, you know, kids do go there and all. And we'd like to have our leisure activities be as safe as a sled ride through a wolf pack.

Drunken Mommy Chronicles: The Airplane Edition

Karen Murphy — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 15:54:00 GMT

I guess there's new meaning now to the phrase "The Mile-High Club." Except this club should actually be called the "Mommy Gets Drunk and Beats Her Kids on an Airplane" club. Bet there's not a whole lot of members of that club.

The charter member of this dubious new club is Californian Tamera Freeman, who appeared with her two children aboard a Frontier Airlines San Francisco-Denver flight. Apparently Tamera hung out awhile in the airport bar in San Francisco, or maybe just drank on the plane, because she reportedly threw a drink at the foot of a flight attendant and then pointed her finger, and also yelled at and hit her children during the flight.

When the plane got to Denver the kids were handed over to a relative, and Tamera faces potential felony charges (interfering with a flight crew is apparently worse than beating one's children).

I'm still wondering why more wasn't done about the hitting. Hello? Other passenger-people on the flight? Where were you?

Creepshow Camp: Now They Have Camps for Everything

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:02:00 GMT

Perhaps your kid isn't into scouting. Maybe he or she doesn't play an instrument, so band camp is out of the question. Not an athlete? No basketball camp for that one. Maybe you should consider Creepshow Camp. That's right. You heard me. I said Creepshow Camp.

Now, it helps if you live in Northern California, because the camp is only at The Hypnodrome in San Francisco, but it sounds like a really cool camp for a kid that really likes the horror genre. Creepshow Camp is considered a performing arts camp, so have your kid ready to go on the stage for the camp finale.

And presumably scare the hell out of you.

The whole thing sounds pretty cool. The website doesn't offer very much information, but it does have an email address where you can get more details if you are interested.

Urbanist's Dilemma: Better To Raise Kids In Unsafe Neighborhood, or Move to The Dreaded 'Burbs?

Alisyn — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:25:00 GMT

Gillian Gillette is a self-described "urbanist:" she grew up on the streets of Chicago, and is raising her own family in San Francisco, in the diverse and dense Mission district. But she, like millions of other city-dwellers with kids, has reached a crossroads: is it better to stay in a small apartment on a busy street,in a questionably safe neighborhood "for love of the city," or is it better to pack up and flee the city for the relative safety, better schools, and more spacious living quarters of the dreaded 'burbs?

It's a question that many of us have faced. And it's one that has no real answer. Because there is no city in existence that can offer what we really need: dense, vibrant urban living in a neighborhood with safe streets, good schools and clean parks. And there ain't no 'burb I've ever heard of that can claim to have what we really want: an eclectic, diverse population, affordable housing, top-notch schools and loads of culture and entertainment, all within driving distance of our beloved cities of choice. So how to we reconcile our desire to love where we live with our duty, as parents, to give our kids the best possible environment in which to grow?

There are a few San Francisco-based, affordable housing advocates who are working to make affordable city living available those of us who are still asking that question. They are proposing "transit-oriented development," which is, in short, a plan to build apartments on top of already existing retail shops and businesses. Put enough of these new housing options together, across several blocks, and it becomes a medium-density, walkable neighborhood with convenient transportation. And the more housing options available on any given city block, the less that housing is likely to cost.

Makes sense, doesn't it? In a city like San Francisco, which loses approximately 800 families per year, this seems like a viable idea, one that may lessen the need for the "city or suburbs?" debate. Does it sound like this would work in your city? Where did you and your partner come down on this issue?

Put That Toy Down! It's Toxic!

Karen Murphy — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 13:33:00 GMT

Ah yes, phthalates. Ya can't live with 'em, ya can't live without 'em. I can't even pronounce 'em (and when I try to, it makes me think of fellatio, so never mind). Anyway, that stuff that shall remain unpronounceable, what is it exactly? Oh yes. Chemicals. And chemicals = bad! And this stuff is in your nail polish, your flooring and your perfume, your sex toys, not to mention in your baby's toys. That he puts in his mouth. It's the stuff they mix with other plastic to make it nice and soft and pliable, and it's the stuff that was banned and then not banned in toys in San Francisco.

Although like many controversial subjects there is conflicting information about the effect of phthalates, many toy manufacturers voluntarily discontinued their usage in certain baby toys (notably rattles and teethers) way back in 1999, and these toy manufacturers have removed them from their entire product lines: Brio, Chicco, Evenflo, First Years, Gerber, Mega Bloks, and Safety 1st.

MILPH: MILF Rebranded?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:03:00 GMT

MILF is a term that sends many feminists into a dither and lights up conversations around the 'sphere with debates, radio shows, clubs, and columns.

Website "MILPH World" wants to change all that -- Mothers in Life Passion and Health founder Amy Deming is a 36 year old mother of three living in Terra Linda, California. Her site is geared toward men (you heard me) between 18 and 35 but, never fear, also to women.

She describes her low point as wearing sweats and "gaining 10 pounds" which made me laugh out loud. 10 pounds? Sweats? I don't want to play pounds-upmanship here, but this revelation didn't render me gooey with identification. Quite the contrary.

Go to the site if you dare (but NOT if you're not at work because you'll get sacked for viewing porn). It's all very Charlie's Angels meets James Bond (alas, with no Daniel Craig) meets Jessica Simpson. Throw in a dash of plastic surgery, some very hungry mamas, and voila! Perfect recipe for MILPHs. Now I love weighing 110 as much as the next gal (when I was FOURTEEN) but let's set more realistic goals, shall we? Lotta's Club is something I can get behind. The rest of you stick figs can just bite me!

Male Caregivers Excluded From Dutch Playgroups

Patti — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 13:27:00 GMT

The Netherlands is known for being liberal. So why is that the publicly-run playgroups, designed for toddlers and preschoolers, explicitly exclude fathers and other male caregivers? According to Dutch mama Ingrid Robeyns, it's to accomodate mothers whose cultural practices preclude them from participating in mixed-gender social groups. Robeyns admits that there may be reasons to support such a policy, even as it comes at the expense of men.

I was once involved in a playgroup in another place known for its liberality--San Francisco. Originally comprised of stay-at-home moms and mothers on maternity leave, our group was soon faced with the inevitable: someone invited a stay-at-home dad to join us with his child. And I'm sorry to report, he wasn't well-received. After he attended one of our gatherings, a flurry of emails went out and much hand-wringing and clutching-of-cruelty-free-pearls took place. Suddenly we were divided into three camps: those of us who thought of our group as a safe, woman-only place where we could discuss vaginal discharge, those of us who didn't realize it would be out of line to discuss vaginal discharge in front of a married father who presumably was familiar with the concept, and those of us who must have been in the kitchen getting a coffee refill at the time everyone else was discussing vaginal discharge because they couldn't recall that it ever came up anyway. I don't think any of us had the clarity to see that we were depriving a father of a parenting resource that we were lucky to have found ourselves--unlike the Netherlands, San Franciscans have to find their own parenting groups. Long story short, that dad got the shaft.

As time went by we eventually changed our position on the matter. One mama went back to work and her husband became the primary caregiver, and was welcomed at playgroup with open arms. Another stay-at-home-dad soon followed. But the point, and I do have one, is that we failed that first guy. A bunch of tree-hugging, protest-sign-waving, wishing-we-were-old-enough-to-have-voted-for-the-ERA San Francisco liberals, and what do we do the first chance we get? We tell a stay-at-home-father that he's not welcome to share our parenting experience. And as valuable and supportive as we all were to one another, for that we sucked.

San Francisco Ratcheting Down Toxic Toy Limits

Karen Murphy — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:54:00 GMT

In what appears to be an unprecedented bow to the pressure of the Crappy Plastic Toy industry, the City By The Bay is proposing to drop a ban on the sale of toys and child care products containing phthalates, a group of chemical compounds used to make polyvinyl chloride (PVC) more flexible and commonly found in nail polish, caulk, and sex toys.

A 2004 study revealed that there was a "very strong link" between phthalates and allergies in children, and an even more disturbing small 2005 study suggested that there was a correlation between phthalates and small penis size on boys, as phthalates were thought to mimic estrogen. Whoa.

Keep in mind, though, that these studies were small and that they have been refuted by another 2004 study which suggested that phthalates had no known effects upon adolescents exposed to them while as "neonates" (newborns; under 4 weeks of age. I looked it up), and in 2006 the European Union declared two specific phthalates as "safe".

So what does this mean? I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice my son's potentially John Holmesian penis just so he can drink out of a sippy cup now. And San Francisco? I thought you were kinda liberal over there. What happened? You're appeasing the American Chemistry Council over the children and parents of the city? I might have to take back all the nice things I said about you earlier.