Moms Want to Snuggle Denzel, But Make Tim McGraw Clean

Kelly Mills — Wed, 02 May 2007 20:26:00 GMT

Lifetime television polled moms on a whole bunch of things, and found out some random stuff as part of their "ongoing dialogue" with women. See, we women like to talk and share and connect. Most moms (77 percent) think it's harder to be a mom today than it was for the previous generation, and only 36 percent wanted to be more like their own moms. Of course, 31 percent wanted to be less like their moms. I'm guessing 47 percent would never say that to mom's face unless they got really drunk around the holidays and mom started doing that critical thing she always does. The bitch.

Weirdly, most polled would not want Paris Hilton, Ozzy Osborne, or K-Fed to babysit. Duh! I mean, Ozzy charges like $15 an hour per kid. Though my child does love playing Thomas the Crazy Train with him ("Mental wounds still screaming/driving me insane/I'm going off the rails..." Sorry.) Oh, and nearly 40 percent think J-Lo will get pregnant in 2007. Since 2 percent are psychic and 4 percent are J-Lo's OB/GYN, I think we can safely put some money on that in the office pool.

A whopping 61 percent said their favorite Mother's Day present was hugs and kisses. Of those, 42 percent were lying and secretly hope for some diamonds or at least a decent half hour to themselves. Ten percent only said hugs because they know their partner will just give them some godawful crap like a new frying pan or an ugly sweater. And if three percent don't get something in the $50 range, their husbands will never get another blow job as long as they live.

Tim McGraw beat Will Smith and Patrick Dempsey as the top choice for Mr. Mom--the guy moms want helping them with the kids and cleaning the house. Is that a euphemism I haven't heard of? Personally, I wouldn't let Tim McGraw mow my lawn, let alone clean my house. I can think of about 175 thousand people I'd pick before any of those three even had a shot at the position, including my dentist and the cute twenty-something guy who works at my local toy store. And finally, Denzel Washington beat Mario Lopez and Matthew Fox for the guy they'd most like to tuck them in at night. I think that one really is supposed to be a euphemism. You know, for sex.

By the way, who would you choose? For household help or fu... I mean tucking?

Strollerderby : Tim McGraw

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Moms Want to Snuggle Denzel, But Make Tim McGraw Clean