Strollerderby : TomKat

Minnie Driver Reveals Baby on MySpace

Jen Chaney — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:04:00 GMT

As reported yesterday in FameCrawler, Minnie Driver has revealed the first picture of her month-old son, Henry Story Driver. But she didn't do it by selling pictures to Vanity Fair or People magazine. Driver posted the picture on her MySpace page. That's right: "The Riches" star rolls Internet-style.

I have to say, I kind of respect this approach to the celebrity baby photo. She didn't make a fuss or start a bidding war. She just posted the photo and if people saw it, fine. If they didn't, no big deal.

To be fair, there isn't the same amount of pressure and attention on her as there is on Brangelina or TomKat. And I certainly respect famous folks who take that attention, as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have done, and turn it into a force for good by giving the money they receive for their pictures to charity.

I know that the public clamors to see those baby pictures and that no movie or rock star wants to be perceived as letting down his or her fans. More importantly, I realize that releasing a photo of a new addition is the best way to control the media's appetite and avoid being hounded by paparazzi every time Mom or Dad takes the little one for a stroll.

Still, sometimes I wish stars could protect those babies by keeping their faces out of the spotlight just a little longer. Children don't sign up to have an Oscar-winning mom or rock-star dad. Their privacy should be protected, and it's a shame that in today's TMZ-ified climate, it's next to impossible for most celebrities to do that.

Given that climate, I think Minnie Driver has handled the situation with an appropriately low profile and some class. So congrats to her. And incidentally, wow, what a beautiful little boy.

Scientology Parenting: Are Tom and Katie Feeding Suri Poison?

Cole Gamble — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:04:00 GMT

The good folks at Defamer have paid much attention to how many bottles famous Scientology mothers are giving their kids. Leah Remini has confessed to still bottle feeding her three-year-old and Suri here looks like she has no intention of stopping the “ba-ba.” Critics have called a lot of supposedly regular parenting practices of Scientology into question (“silent birth” anyone?). Now there is speculation as to what is in that bottle two-year-old Suri clutches so dearly. And that magic liquid might be toxic to kids… If you read into Scientology practices, and Defamer has, you’ll find Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard advocated feeding babies and children a homemade formula comprised of barley water, homogenized milk, and oodles of sugar-heavy honey. Funny thing is, honey can be toxic to young children. Furthermore, other Scientology moms and dads say Hubbard’s formula made their children thin, colicky and destroyed their teeth. Here’s the best part: Hubbard claims he discovered this formula when he time traveled back to ancient Rome. Well you know what they say: when in Rome…go bat-shit crazy.

Photo: defamer

Katie Holmes Wants More Babies

Kelly Mills — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 19:29:00 GMT

Mrs. Tom Cruise wants to spawn more children, presumably through an unholy ritual involving bloodletting and goat sacrifices with a gaggle of Scientologists watching to ensure the ceremony is performed correctly. Because she's so darn happy in her life and her marriage, and she loves motherhood, and everything is great, just great, perfect even. As she says about her family life, "We're having the best time, it's so amazing." Happy, happy, joy, joy.

You know, I'm sure in some ways she's a sweet girl, what with sending thank-you notes to boutiques and buying carbs she probably couldn't touch herself for the cast and crew on her sets. I really have no idea if her life is as great as she describes it, or if she just gets quoted like the poster girl for the happy pill or what. But I would give a lot just to hear her say, "F@#% all this stupid-ass bullshit." It's okay to be mad and bitter sometimes, Katie. Some of us even make a living at it. I prescribe a new regimen: lose those cult handlers for a bit, get yourself a bottle of JD, and start throwing shit at the wall and crying. You'll feel so much better.

Courtney Love Gets Welcomed Back Into the Fold by Celebrity Parents

Kelly Mills — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:06:00 GMT

There are very few sins that can get you kicked out of the superstar parents club: stints in rehab won't do it, dressing your kids inappropriately gets the green light, and even neglecting to properly restrain your little angels is no big thing. However, parent Courtney Love really slipped up when she committed the ultimate celebrity sin: she gained a lot of weight. Now all that sordid business is behind her, and she’s dropped almost 50 pounds. The red carpet mamas and papas wasted no time welcoming her back into the fold. Gwyneth Paltrow, a.k.a. Moses and Apple's mama, enjoyed a nice meal of maybe one raw piece of asparagus and a sprig of organic parsley with her at the restaurant Cut. They bonded over yoga, the weight loss workout of the stars. As a fitness fanatic, I have yet to see anyone shed pounds with lightening speed by doing sun salutations. Perhaps "yoga" is actually the secret celebrity code word for gastric bypass?

Even TomKat, presumably out on date night, stopped by to gush about her weight loss triumph. The Tom half squeezed Love and said, "You look like a movie star!" (Hey, wasn't his wife going to be one of those before she married him?) I assume the Kat half beamed her glassy-eyed smile and said, "I love my life, I love my child, I love my daughter, I'm not even the slightest bit unhappy or suffocated or brainwashed. Happy, happy, la la la. No need to rescue me from this golden prison, no sir..."

Does anyone know if Courtney is still sober? Is she taking good care of Frances Bean? Who cares! She's really thin now. That's all you need to know. Take this lesson to heart, Tori Spelling, there's no excuse for holding onto the baby weight.

Brooke Shields Contemplating Joint Birthday Party with Suri Cruise

MetroDad — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:16:00 GMT

Brooke Shields hopes to have a joint birthday celebration for her daughter Grier and BFF TomKat's own lil' Suri. Back when their parents still loathed each other's existence, the babies were born right down the hall from each other at St. John's Medical Center on April 18th of last year. What better way to honor it all than with a big ol' birthday bash?

Now, there are about a million ways to make fun of what a Scientology birthday party might entail but I couldn't come up with anything funnier than the imagined scenario written up by my friends over at A Socialite's Life, where they envision Brooke showing up at the Cruise manse with streamers and wearing a party hat and Katie Holmes is all wan and pale and brainwashed.

Brooke: Hey! I'm here for the party!
Katie: What? Uh, I'm really not allowed to have people in...wow, it's really sunny out today. I miss the outdoors.
Brooke: Katie, it's me! Brooke Shields? Remember? Tom trashed me in the press and then apologized? Remember we said since our kids were born so close together that we would have a combined birthday party?
Katie: Listen, can you get a message to the outside for me? Please, you've got to listen to me. He'll be home any minute...
Brooke: I brought a cake, and some photographers, and oh, the baby. Wave hi, Grier!
Katie: *hangs head, listlessly*

We're all going to hell, aren't we? At the very least, the intergalactic warlord alien Xenu is probably going to be pissed at us.