Strollerderby : Virginia

Puppies Save Lost Toddler

Brett Singer — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:30:00 GMT

After so many sad stories (winter, I suppose?), this one was a nice find.

3-year-old Jaylynn Thorpe had "wandered away from his baby-sitter" and was missing for almost 24 hours in the woods of Halifax County, Virginia. (That's some babysitter.) Luckily, he was with two 12-week-old puppies. When it got late and cold – 17 degrees – the puppies snuggled up to Jaylynn and kept him warm. The kid is fine, thanks to these two dogs.

The trio had quite a journey – according to published reports, the boy and his two dogs "wandered up to a mile in the dark, even across a highway." Eventually he was found, "sitting by a tree, the two puppies nestled against him."

Even after Jaylynn had been rescued, the dogs didn't let him out of their sight -- "Where he went, they went," said search party member Billie Jo Roach.

When people get dogs to protect their families, I don't think this is what they have in mind. Luckily everyone is OK. I might have a little chat with the baby-sitter, though.

Source: NY Daily News via The Howard Stern Show (specifically Robin Quivers' news)

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Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Brett Singer — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

If your last name is Obama, you may start getting special treatment, even if you aren't related to the President-elect.

The Washington Post reports that 28-year-old DC resident Nicanor Obama was pulled over for speeding. But when the can't-drive-55 guy handed over his driver's license, the police officer told him, "Well, I'm going to let you go because you have the Obama name."

Obviously there are other folks who share last names with the famous. But as the Post puts it, "being asked whether you can sing 'My Way' or play 'Purple Haze' pales in comparison with 'Can you get my cousin pardoned?' or, more earnestly, 'Can you get me inauguration tickets?'" (19-year-old college freshman Denise Maye Obama gets asked that a lot.)

How many Obamas are out there? The Post says "there might be fewer than 20 Obama families in the United States, compared with more than 11,000 Clintons and 60,000 Bushes."

My last name never got me anything. Except for the occasional, "Singer! La-la-la!" when I was in kindergarten.

Source: Washington Post

Most Wanted Puts Deadbeat Dads . . . and One Mom Online

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:02:00 GMT

If you're planning a divorce, you might want to move to the South. First it was Tennessee yanking fishing and hunting licenses from deadbeat parents. Now Virginia is placing parents who evade their child support responsibilities atop its Most Wanted criminals list.

They don't play in Dixie.

Pictures of eight deadbeat dads and one deadbeat mother are now posted online at the Virginia Department of Social Services website, along with their dates of birth, number of children, height, weight, occupation and last known address. It's like the list in the back of the newspaper for people who don't pay their property taxes . . . with pictures to double the laughs.

The crappiest dad of the year award goes to Joseph Hollenbach, a quality assurance inspector from Pennsylvania who owes more than $177,000 to his baby mama. The, "Look They Photoshopped My Giant Head Onto a Puny Body and All I Got Was a Spot on the Most Wanted List" award goes to Jad Salah Amra, who we can add to the list of shyster car salesmen with his refusal to pay more than $97,000 to support his three kids.

Want to see the whole list? Be sure to check out Bobby Joe Cannon Jr.'s grinning high school yearbook photo. Hey Class of 1990, look at him now!

Image: Revengemark

Don't Pay Child Support? Bid the Gun Rack Bye Bye

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Five-Year-Old Catches STD From Dad's Towel?

They Say: Dads Cheat, but Not for Sex

Virginia Teachers Get Flack for Pro-Obama Email

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 18:30:00 GMT

The Virginia Teachers Union is in hot water for allegedly mixing education with politics. A union member sent out an email encouraging teachers to participate in “Obama Blue Day” by wearing a blue shirt (without displaying any candidate names), and getting at least two people to register to vote.

The author concedes that she should have worded the email differently—perhaps “Obama Blue Day,” for instance, was not the wisest turn of phrase. But the union stands by the email as an example of the nonpartisan voter registration efforts that Virginia educators have long engaged in. The union voted to endorse Obama because of his education policies, so the left-leaning tone of the email reflected that endorsement; it was not an indication that teachers should influence their students' political leanings.

According to the union president, no teacher interpreted the email as a call to encourage students to support Obama, as state Republicans have, quite understandably, charged. The president pointed out that "Obama Blue Day" was all but ignored. She even forgot all about it and wore red that day.

Just another reminder to take to heart the adage, "Always assume that whatever you write in an email will be published on the Internet."

Photo: Bag News Notes

Man dresses up as a woman to marry a man

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:00:00 GMT

So two people get married. A man and a woman. Or so the clerk thought.

Turns out "Justine" was really "Justin." Specifically Justin L. McCain, an 18-year-old who wanted to marry Antonio E. Blount, his 31-year-old boyfriend. One reason they were able to pull it off was because of a "design quirk" in the Virginia driver's licenses – the "M" or "F" in the "gender" area is obscured by the state seal. One wonders why no one seemed to notice that the name on the license was "Justin" rather than "Justine". Newport News Court clerk Rex Davis said that, "When things are rolling along and you don't have any reason to suspect that somebody is not being completely forthright with you, you might not take the time to check." Gee, and I thought New York City was a busy place. Davis issued the happy couple a marriage license, and then they went to Richmond to get hitched. Which they did.

The story makes it sound like the ruse might not have been discovered at all if McCain hadn't come back to Newport News to apply for a name change. Our busy clerk Rex Davis became suspicious when he saw the name, which was – get this -- Penelopsky Aaryonna Goldberry, which blogger Christian Hall points out is "pretty much the best name ever." I mean, where the hell do you come up with that one?

The marriage is illegal in the state of Virginia because, well, they're both dudes. Or rather, they're both "legally" dudes. The article quotes attorney Cole Thaler from the group Lambda Legal as saying that, "it's not deceptive for a transgender person who lives their life as a gender different from the gender they were assigned." In fact, "You could have a driver's license in New York state that says you're a male and have a birth certificate from New York City that says you're female," says Paisley Currah of the Transgender Law and Policy Institute.

According to the article, most states (the exceptions being Tennessee, Ohio and Idaho) "typically change one's gender on their birth certificate following gender reassignment surgery." What's not clear is whether or not Justin/Justine/Penelopsky has had surgery or not.

Now prosecutors have to decide whether or not to bring charges against the two lovebirds. Of course, if we would just LET GAY PEOPLE GET MARRIED THIS WOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE. Ahem.

And just for yucks, here's the video for Aerosmith's Dude (Looks Like A Lady).

image: worth1000.com

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Pro-Life Pharmacy won't sell birth control

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

DMC Pharmacy, can we help you?

Oh, you want birth control pills. I'm sorry, we can't help you with that. No, we don't sell condoms either. How about this pamphlet on the Rhythm Method? Perhaps a new Bible? Hello? Hello, are you there?

The DMC Pharmacy in Chantilly, Virginia, is a Pharmacy with a Point of View. Basically, if you're going to "do it," you should be prepared for the pitter-patter of little feet. That means no condoms, no birth control pills, no morning after pill – nada. Zip. The "family planning" aisle will be filled with rosary beads, Left Behind novels and snacks filled with nothing but high (moral) fiber. (We kid, because we love.)

(Aside #1: I wonder how far the store will take this. Would they sell copies of "The Da Vinci Code"? How about "Hustler"? Jolt Cola?)

(Aside #2: Now, don't go to dmcpharmacy.org if you want to find the pro-life pharmacy. That site is for a different DMC Pharmacy, which is part of the Detroit Medical Center. I'm not sure if they'll sell you a rubber, but my guess is that they will.)

Tom Brejcha from the Thomas More Society is, of course, supportive of the venture. Brejcha is representing another pharmacist who refused to fill a birth control prescription on moral grounds. The Washington Post quotes the attorney as saying, "Every pharmacist has the right to do the same thing." According to the Post, "[The DMC Pharmacy in Chantilly] is one of a small but growing number of drugstores around the country that have become the latest front in a conflict pitting patients' rights against those of health-care workers who assert a 'right of conscience' to refuse to provide care or products that they find objectionable."

Now, we may mock (in good humor) the notion of a pro-life pharmacy. But I think they have a right to keep contraceptives off the shelves; I'm not a lawyer but I'm fairly certain that no private store has a legal obligation to sell any product that they don't want to. Manhattan is filled with drugstores advertising a staff that will help you get your health insurance company to pay for fertility treatments, which is something not typically offered at your local Walgreen's. Different strokes, different folks. I do have a problem with a pharmacist who works at a "regular" pharmacy (you know, the kind of establishment that will burn in eternal hellfire – OK, sorry, mocking again, it's just a joke! Ouch! Watch the lightning!) refusing to fill any prescription, or a health-care worker who goes against the policies of their employer. You are absolutely entitled to your beliefs, but don't you also have to do the job that you were hired for? That's another legal question I don't claim to know the answer to.

Obviously it would be a problem is every store took this attitude. Personally, even though I don't need birth control pills myself, I would gladly avoid a store that took a stance against them. The best way to stop stores like this from proliferating is simply to not shop there.

Source: thefrisky

images: Wikipedia (1, 2), and then futzed with in Photoshop by me

Update: School Reinstates Tag After "Reorientation"

Kelly Mills — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:32:00 GMT

The Virginia elementary school that banned tag may again allow kids to be "it". A few weeks ago, principal Robyn Hooker outlawed the game, saying it had gotten out of hand, with students being tackled and piled on and dragged into games unwillingly. Some outcry among parents ensued, and so school administrators instituted a week of "reorientation lessons on playground safety" (sounds so ominous, like "reprogramming") in P.E. classes, and should be allowing the game to begin again today.

Now clearly we are a blog divided on this issue, and I have the feeling Jen will not condone my practice of tackling each Strollerderby writer at the annual holiday party and administering either a noogie or a wet willy. But I am the crotchety libertarian again, it seems, and I couldn't get behind the ban. I mean, it doesn't seem like tag is an inherently violent game, and I imagine you could outlaw tackling and dogpiles instead. But I think the real problems rest in our understaffed schools, with minimal supervision at recess, and in our inability to work on constructive solutions with kids that don't involve making big, sweeping rules. And this is coming from someone who, as a kid, would so have been at the bottom of that dogpile.

School Outlaws Handshakes. Next Up: Eye Contact?

Karen Murphy — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 11:55:00 GMT

In a stunning move calculated to singlehandedly erase goodwill and camaraderie among its students, a Virginia middle school has initiated a new policy outlawing touching of any kind, including handshakes, high-fives, and pats on the back. Teachers in public schools have long been forced to refrain from harmless affection to their students lest something might be ill-perceived, but this new rule is about the students. That's right, at this school a mid-game congratulatory high-five will likely get you a trip to the principal's office or at the very least a "dirty look" from a teacher.

Just to be clear, we're not talking PDAs here. Nor are we talking any sort of inappropriate contact.

So let's take this out to its illogical extreme: say, as the article suggests, that this snowballs and soon every school in the land bans contact among students. Kids will grow up unable to express or receive innocent affection. Armies of therapists will assist these kids, as they mature, in forming healthy relationships, as they will likely be unable to do so on their own. Affection in the family also will wane despite parents' best intentions, simply from the indoctrination of the schools. Even the huggiest of families will be unable to stem the tide.

And what's after that? Sex-for-procreation only? A plummeting birth rate? Economic collapse and eventual global anarchy?

Rethink, misguided school of Virginia! Help save the human race! We need innocent, affectionate touch!

Crying Baby = Effective Fire Alarm

Karen Murphy — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:56:00 GMT

A Virginia baby with a great pair of lungs gets credit for saving her own life and that of her adult brother, when fire broke out in their mobile home last weekend. The 15-month old girl awoke and began screaming when the fire broke out at about 4 am, waking her brother who was able to get them both to safety before the structure was destroyed. The girl's mother was out of the house, at work, at the time of the fire.

Next time my children cry, I'm going to think about it differently. Way to go, you awesome Virginia kidlet.

Lesbian Custody Battle Wages On

Patti — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 13:00:00 GMT

The family court division in Rutland, Vermont is enforcing the child support order it imposed upon Janet Jenkins, who is currently locked in a bitter custody battle with the biological mother of her child, Lisa Miller. Jenkins and Miller conceived their child, which Miller carried, via IVF during their year-long civil union. They dissolved the union after Miller renounced her homosexuality and moved to Virginia with their child. Jenkins has been duking it out with her ex ever since.

Virginia currently refuses to recognize Vermont's jurisdiction over this matter, and Lisa Miller has enlisted the support of the religious right in her fight to gain full custody of four-year-old Isabella, retaining as her legal representation Liberty Counsel, who also represent the Exodus "gay rehabilitation" organization.

As we all know, if Janet Jenkins were a man, Virginia would probably be recognizing the hell out of Vermont's jurisdiction. And if this were a messy heterosexual breakup, we'd be calling what Lisa Miller is doing "kidnapping".