Strollerderby : Wall-E

Are these toys sold out?

Brett Singer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. We checked on seven toys here, now let's try eight more.

8. Clone Wars Voice Changing Helmet: Again, Amazon's got it, not even from a third-party shipper. But it's not Darth Vader. So what's the point? According to the product description, "Kids want to be clone troopers." (That's actually listed as a product feature. Odd.) I hope that this statement is not true. If it is, that is sad. Wanting to be Han Solo, I get. Wanting to be a Clone Trooper? Say it ain't so, Bo(ba).

9. Wall-E - U-Command, i-Dance and Transforming: i-Dance they have. Same with U-Command. (Couldn't find Transforming for some reason.) However, both are from third-party folks, and U-Command is over $150.00. That seems like a bad idea unless one of the commands is "rob a bank."

10. Club Penguin Plush and trading cards: Bingo! Club Penguin Plush, not in stock as of this writing. Available from a random person. Looks kind of ugly to me but what do I know. Trading cards they have from third party folks.

11. Webkinz – Plush: It might be tough to find the specific one your kid wants (Webkinz Platypus, anyone? I just made that up) but these are out there.

12. Imaginext – Superfriends: Amazon has it! At least, they have some of them, like this Batmobile. If these are from the same series of toys that my younger son has, I highly recommend them. It's like Batman-lite – more BatMite than Dark Knight. (If you get that reference, you earn points towards your Geek Gold Card.) Fun for kids and also dads. At least this dad.

13. Nerf - all the Nerf Blasters: Well, not ALL, since Amazon has this ominously named Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Dart Blaster. Weapon of kiddie mass destruction, anyone? Also not for the under 3 set.

14. Eyeclops night vision goggles: These look kinda cool, and are in stock. My problem with toys like these is that in my experience kids get bored with them pretty quickly. But perhaps your children are different.

15. Girl Gourmet cupcake maker: I'm not a fan of children making "real" food with dopey fake playsets like these. Why is that? Because I can't imagine that the ingredients of the "special cupcake mixes" are substances that occur in nature. This comment from Amazon, titled "What's that smell??" is telling and quite helpful: "At the end of the day, it was fun for them, stinky for all of us and too darn messy. You are better off with supervised baking then this junky mix." The commenter goes on to say that the product is a good idea but the "flavoring needs tweaking." I beg to differ, but hey, to each his or her own. I'm not against my children eating crap, but they should eat good old American pre-packaged crap that doesn't require further preparation.

So no offense to Mr. Shamus, but this stuff doesn't appear to be as sold out as he said. I'm thinking bad economy = easier to find popular toys. To be fair, many of the items were unavailable except through third-party sellers. But it seems like, with a little digging, you can get most of what your kids want. Not that the holidays are all about toys. But sometimes they are.

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They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

Brett Singer — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. Let's see what we can find in stock.

1.      Bakugan: My son actually got this as an early Chanukah present. Not bad but a little over-rated in my opinion. Basically you throw little balls into a plastic arena, and if the balls hit a particular magnetic card, they pop open. It's neat but only for the first hundred times. There are also rules that seem too complex for my taste, but I’m old and sometimes these games confuse me. Available at Amazon.
2.      Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman: Lego Star Wars is great. Lego Batman, feh. Don't bother. I'm talking about the video games, though, not the Legos themselves. In general I believe that any Legos are good Legos, so if you can't find Star Wars or Batman versions, just go with regular ones. If the kids complain, tell them they should be glad they're getting any presents at all in this economy. (OK, telling them that would be mean. But it's fun to think about, right?) Lots of options at Amazon, but it does appear that most are sold out.
3.      Star Wars Action Figures - All, particularly Clone Commander Cody and Ahsoka Tano: This reveals me to be a tremendous nerd, but I think I've outed myself as Dorky Dad a long time ago. Commander Cody action figures are sold out??? That just doesn't seem right. I mean, I remember when Boba Fett was hard to find. That I can understand. But Commander Cody? C'mon. Available at Amazon for a whopping $44.99. Crazy.
4.      Dora Magical Figures: I found these on Craig's List, although they're probably gone by now. (Note: I am not suggesting you buy something from Craig's List. Also not suggesting that you DON'T buy from Craig's List. That is what is known as a "covering my butt disclaimer". That's a legal term.)
5.      Ben 10 Alien Creation Chamber: Amazon has it from a third-party retailer. Sadly, it does not appear to create life-size "Island of Doctor Moreau" creatures.
6.      Hasbro - Marvel Transformers: I was unaware of the existence of these action figures, but now that I am, I must have them. I mean, my son must have them. Iron Man meets Transformers? Are you kidding me??? Amazon seems to have them in stock from third-party retailers. I… I mean, my SON, really wants these. All of them.
7.      Yo Gabba Gabba Dance Mat: Amazon's got it. It looks fun, but noisy. Also: "CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs." Which seems odd because that's an age I would think this product appeals to. But I guess not.

Hmmm... so far lots of stuff is in stock, although sometimes from third-party sellers. For eight more, check out part 2 here.

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WALL-E: Do you really need 3 DVDs?

editors — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:05:00 GMT

I'm way into Pixar bonus features. I've spent an embarrassing number of hours reading those fake-superhero bios on Disc 2 of The Incredibles and watching the fish in the Finding Nemo aquarium swim by. However, I'm also really skeptical about this super-all-inclusive DVD trend, which too often involves paying a lot of money for fancy packaging and none-too-illuminating special features. It's like paying $20 extra for a fancy steak so the chef will throw in some potato chips. Given this attitude, I was a little conflicted when I found out that Pixar's WALL-E would be released tomorrow as a deluxe-edition 3 DVD set. What could possibly fill 3 DVDs? I decided to find out. Below, a breakdown of every single special feature on the WALL-E DVD, and a verdict on whether you should put it on your Christmas list. -- Gwynne Watkins

DISC 1
- Why do all these Disney DVDs start with 800 previews? My finger is getting tired from hitting "skip."

- Okay, first up, we have that funny little short about the magician and the rabbit that we saw in theaters.

- And here's a new short, BURN-E, about an accident-prone repair robot who gets stranded outside the space station during the events of the film. Cute but has a lot of recycled film footage, which feels vaguely like cheating.

- Next, a 20-minute feature on the sound design. No, really, it's interesting! The true geeking-out commmences.

- DELETED SCENES! Unlike the half-finished scenes on past Pixar DVDs, these basically look and sound like the real thing. Includes a mildly disturbing sequence (with at least a dozen Star Wars references) in which a trash compactor nearly kills Eve.

- Director commentary -- okay, I don't have all day, people.

- Preview of WALL-E's Tour of the Universe -- I watched this -- it's 50 seconds long -- and I still have no idea what WALL-E's Tour of the Universe is.

- Easter egg featuring Pixar guys bragging about what nerds they are. Adorable, but I'm seeing a serious absence of lady Pixar employees. Hire me, Pixar! I can hold my own with the Star Trek references!

DISC 2
- This disc is divided into 2 categories. Let's start with "Humans: For Film Fans."

- A "Behind the Scenes" section contains six different featurettes (average length: 10 minutes) on animation, design, character concept -- I'm going to get any work done today, am I?

- Deleted Scenes. Yes, more deleted scenes! Unlike the others, these are all sketchy-looking and prelimary.

- BnL shorts - A history of the Buy N Large corporation, in commercials. Awesome.

- The Pixar Story -- a feature-length documentary about Pixar. Unquestionably biased, and yet, it had me from that first montage of the history of animation. What can I say, I'm just a sucker for lovable big-eyed creatures that talk with celebrity voices.

- Now let's check out the "Robots: For Families" category.

- WALL-E's Treasures and Trinkets -- Against a blank screen, the film's robots interact with objects from the human world. Hi-larious! I may need to watch this twice.

- Bot Files - Oo, it's like those superhero bios on the Incredibles disc! But about robots! And better!

- "Lots of Bots" Storybook - Not so much a book, more like a combination educational game/story/stylized cartoon, but it works.

DISC 3
Ohhh, Disc 3 is a digital copy. What are digital copies for again? So I can put the movie on my iPod? Yeah, now that you mention it, I want WALL-E on my iPod.

Verdict: If you're a Pixar fan, you want this. The deluxe DVD set retails for $40, but I bet you could find it at a pre-holiday sale for $25 or $30, or pre-order it before tomorrow on Amazon for a hefty discount.

Family Movie Night – Happy Feet

Brett Singer — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:30:00 GMT

I'm particularly glad to have a chance to write something about this one. While it certainly has its flaws, there are some parts that are terrific.

"Happy Feet" is about a bunch of penguins. According to the movie, each penguin has a "heart song" that develops over time; by singing it, the non-flying birds mate, make more non-flying birds, and life goes on. Mumble, though, is different. When he sings, he sounds like a cross between an elephant seal and fingernails being dragged across a chalkboard. He can, however, do a mean tap dance (the incomparable Savion Glover provides the audio for his fancy footwork). This does not endear him to the tribe, and even his parents would rather he be somewhere else. So, like Rudolph before him, he leaves, eventually meeting up with a group of Hispanic penguins (more on this later), and going on a journey to find out why there aren't as many fish to eat as there once were.

By far the best aspect of "Happy Feet" is the music. It came out in 2006, and by that point the novelty of the "mash-up" trend in music had peaked in popularity. The tunes here aren't original, but the songs chosen, and the arrangements used, are so clever that I was mesmerized. The opening number features Prince's "Kiss", blended together with Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel", with little musical quotations from Salt N' Pepa ("Let's talk about eggs, bay-bee" – slight lyric change there), Lionel Richie ("Hello"), and even Mr. Mister ("Broken Wings"). If that sounds horrible, give it a try, because in my opinion it works. The animation is also top-notch, almost on a level with Pixar's. This also means that the scarier parts (killer whale attacks, elephant seals, and so on) are that much more frightening, but neither of my kids seemed to mind.

This film generated a ton of controversy from the conservative quarters of the country because of its extremely blunt pro-environment message. While I personally agree with what they were saying, it does get very heavy-handed towards the end of the film, and inserting actual humans is strange, although I have to admit that it is effective. If you look at some of the user reviews on Amazon, there are various complaints that this is not a "happy" film at all. That's not entirely without merit; one character almost chokes to death on plastic soda rings, and there are those icy predators that always seem ready to munch on Mumble and his pals. But again, the proof is in the kids, and both of my boys were fine with the "less happy" parts.

Speaking of those pals, I'm always a little bit surprised about the way certain races are portrayed in animated movies aimed at children. In this case, Mumble hooks up with a group of short penguins who like to whistle at girls ("Ay, mami!") and speak with thick Hispanic accents. He calls them "the amigos" in case anyone misses the joke. Their leader, Ramon, is played by Robin Williams, who also plays a Barry White-style penguin who sits atop a tower of pebbles dispensing advice. Not to be overly politically correct, but this sort of thing happens all the time: the Black and Hispanic hyenas in "The Lion King" are another example (and of course, there are all of these). It's not enough to un-recommend the movie but it's worth mentioning. I'm also not a big Robin Williams fan, but I know other people can't get enough of him. Having him play two somewhat racially insensitive characters in one film is almost too much, but the animation, music and tap dancing more than make up for it (I'm a big Savion Glover fan).

Bottom line: some truly great moments (the music, animation and tapping) offset some weird ones (the ultra-heavy-handed environmental message). Recommended, unless your political sensibilities run heavily to the right, in which case this film will probably make your head explode.

image: Amazon.com

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Family Movie Night – Hairspray

Brett Singer — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Full disclosure: when I first heard a demo CD of the songs from the Broadway musical version of John Waters' film "Hairspray", I said, "Eh. That's not so great. Nobody's going to want to see it. It'll flop."

Um, right. Luckily the producers didn't listen to me, because the show has been running on Broadway for several years (long enough to have Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers play the mom for awhile, which is longer than most shows last, believe me), not to mention all the tours, regional and international productions, and of course the new film.

Unlike the new film version of "The Producers" musical, this new "Hairspray" is more fully re-imagined, which probably accounts for its greater success at the box office ($200 million, enough that there's actually going to be a sequel). The original Waters movie was very low-key, and definitely kept the hardcore gross out stuff to a minimum (if you've never seen Waters' "Pink Flamingos", you shouldn't, but there's a scene at the end that is so disgusting it haunts me to this day). In retrospect, turning "Hairspray" into a Broadway musical was actually a very good idea, since the story is quite sweet and has a positive message about racial inclusiveness, and also points out that fat people shouldn't be ostracized for their appearance. The musical and new film actually hammer that point home much harder than the original; singing about racial equality makes the message much more blunt than just showing it.

In theory, how is this a kids' movie at all? It's not, I suppose, but there's nothing in it that really crosses a line, except for a few lyrics here and there, most of which go over the heads of anyone that you would think is too young to hear them. ("Hey, baby! You look like you could use a stiff one!" – but he's talking about hairspray, so…) I've seen girls as young as six having "Hairspray" themed birthday parties, which is one reason why I think my son was actually willing to watch it. Both of the Things enjoyed it, the older one because it does have a reasonably involving story and good songs, the younger one probably because it's colorful and the music is quite good.

As for the cast, it's a mixed bag. John Travolta is not an upgrade over Divine, but she/he is dead, so that's not really fair. That said, Harvey Fierstein was so incredible on Broadway that they should have let him reprise his role on screen. I understand the need to cast big stars to ensure a film's success, but sometimes it's better to stick with the original. At least they had the courtesy to cut the line, "Hold mommy's waffles," which, when said by Fierstein on stage, actually had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair. (Just take my word for it, it was hilarious.) Travolta is good in a way, but there's something almost too serious about his version of Tracy Turnblad's overweight shut-in mom. He does prove that he's still a terrific dancer, even weighted down with fifty-plus pounds of fat suit. It would be nice to see him do a musical film role that he's better suited for, or even a live turn on Broadway.

The new Tracy, Nikki Blonsky, is quite good. Rikki Lake, who played Tracy in the original, had a much tougher edge but so did Waters' film. I would watch Michelle Pfeiffer read the phone book, but she does more than that and is very good. I would have liked to see more Jerry Stiller, who has a borderline cameo as the owner of a local department store that hires Tracy to be a spokesperson. I had forgotten that he played Wilbur Turnblad in the 1988 film; his role was taken over by Christopher Walken, who I would also watch read the phone book (albeit for different reasons) and gives a solid performance, as always. James Marsden was a surprise as Corny Collins, the host of the local dance show. If that's his actual singing voice he should do another musical. Queen Latifah (Motormouth Maybelle) is no Ruth Brown but she's good enough.

Anyway, somewhat like the Broadway version, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed this new "Hairspray", as did my kids. Recommended.

image: Amazon.com

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Family Movie Night: Meet The Robinsons

Brett Singer — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Like "The Wild", this movie could also be subtitled "Why we had to buy Pixar." It's a much more ambitious story than "Wild" but it just doesn't work.

The plot is convoluted but it involves time travel and what happens when you change the past, or something. I normally love that sort of thing (space-time continuum, represent!) but this time (pun intended) it just bothered me. Our hero is an orphan, which is always a pleasurable subject when watching a movie with young children; to be fair to my kids, neither one was fazed, so maybe I'm the one with the problem. The kid looks like Jonathan Lipnicky after he grows up, slims down and becomes truly weird. Of course, he's really a genius, and there's a villain out to get him but it's really the villain's hat that's in charge... or something. It's kind of a blur. The design elements are good. Pixar's John Lasseter was involved, which may account for the above-average visuals. But what works so well for Pixar -- well-written scripts, straightforward stories, combined with by far the best animation currently being produced -- completely eludes the Disney team here. Not nearly as painful to sit through as "The Wild", but still not great.

image: Amazon.com

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Screw twin Earth, I'm going to Mars

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Screw twin Earth, I'm going to Mars

Brett Singer — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Maybe it's just my geekiness shining through – OK, no maybe there. But even someone who likes to stuff nerds into lockers would have to admit that the prospect of life on other planets is way cool. Discovery.com reports that scientists are intrigued by what the Phoenix Lander has found on the red planet: "There's nothing about it that would preclude life. In fact, it seems very friendly," mission scientist Samuel Kounaves of Tufts University said of the soil. "There's nothing about it that's toxic."

This is especially relevant if you believe the "Wall-E" vision of the future. I haven't seen the film yet, but my understanding is that the plot stems from the notion that humans will eventually use up all of Earth's resources, so we all have to leave the planet behind. (Nothing like a cheerful summer flick.) So we could either move to Twin Earth, Mars, or, as "Wall-E" suggests, a space station.

(Aside: This is actually very similar to a story that recently showed up in the "Fantastic Four" comics. In that case, some scientist was building a copy of Earth for everyone to move to once we managed to screw up this one.)

Whether or not any of these doomsday scenarios are plausible, I love the idea of being able to visit another planet. And, since we're geeking out here, what if Mars' sun gives Earth people super powers? How cool would that be? Of course, that might also mean that Martians would gain power from our sun. Unless there are no Martians, meaning we can go and colonize Mars, moving mountains with our newfound super-strength.

(UPDATE: a commenter below points out that Mars and Earth share a sun. Yeah yeah yeah. You and your SCIENCE, always ruining my fun.)

First we've got to, you know, build spaceships that can transport non-astronaut human beings. But that'll happen. Until then, we'll have to be content with these nifty pics from the Phoenix Lander. No little green men/women/children (yet), but there is ice, soil, and… I don't know, its photos from Mars! Check 'em out here.

image: anythingofinterest

You Might Like Wall-E But Don't Trust Him With Your Kids

Kelly Mills — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:58:00 GMT

Robots have kind of a mixed rep. From loveable, cuddly characters to cold killing machines, it's clear we have some ambivalence about what it means to have this kind of technology in our lives and on the horizon. While I personally have a strange affection for robots, I can see how others are raising the alarms. So parents, would you let a robot watch your children?

You may have to make this decision sooner rather than later, because robots are being developed for use in schools, and will potentially be here to babysit your brood in the not-so-distant future. So what do you think? I mean, if you read the Derby, you probably believe our current system of having humans care for their own offspring and the offspring of others is not without flaws. But should it concern us that robots may be responsible for teaching our kids? (Gasp! You mean a machine might sometimes act as a babysitter? Say it ain't so!) What will that do for their emotional development? Our society? Are the robot wars inevitable? Do tell.

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RetroFitted: Should Number 5 Be Alive Again?

Jen Chaney — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Get Ally Sheedy into make-up and fire up some El Debarge: A remake of the 1986 family-friendly movie "Short Circuit" is currently in development.

If the memory is a little fuzzy, the original "Circuit" was a comedy about a military robot named Number 5 who gets struck by lightning and becomes pseudo-human. I last saw the movie 22 years ago at a shopping mall movie theater in Rockville, Md. Here is what I remember about it: A. the aforementioned El Debarge theme song, "Who's Johnny," and B. the fact that at a time when hormonal changes and the fumes from excessive hair mousse undoubtedly impacted my capacity for rational thought, I still felt sorry for Ally Sheedy for starring in what was clearly a major step down from "St. Elmo's Fire."

Still, "Short Circuit" generated enough revenue to merit a sequel, the creatively titled "Short Circuit 2," which came out in 1988 and had something to do with Number 5 going to New York or some crap like that. To be honest, I was too busy "Doin' Da Butt" at that time to pay close attention. The sequel didn't do nearly as well -- this is what happens, ladies and gentlemen, when you don't get Steve Guttenberg to sign on for movie No. 2 -- and that pretty much marked the end of the robot franchise. Until now.

I am of two minds about this remake concept: From an artistic point of view, I think it's a stupid idea because it's an update of a movie that was mediocre at best. It's like going back to a restaurant because the food gave you a stomach ache but didn't make you throw up. I mean, really, why bother?

But from a business point of view, it's actually kinda smart. For starters, if they get past-"Short Circuiter" Fisher Stevens to sign on, they could attract a few of the "Lost" fans, who have recently seen Stevens on the island in the role of George Minkowski. Also, the theme about valuing the human spirit over machinery is still relevant and might make parents, the same ones who saw the original movie two decades ago, feel good about taking their kids to go see it.

And, as many others on the Web have pointed out, Number Five bears a striking resemblance to Wall-E, the robot star of this summer's big Pixar flick. Seriously, tell me these two weren't separated at birth?

Assuming "Wall-E" is a hit -- and odds are, being a Pixar movie, it will be -- young kids will undoubtedly be totally on board to see another robot flick. Yes, their parents might roll their eyes at the blatant attempt to piggyback on the animated movie's success. But children don't care. If they like one robot, they can just as easily like another. And that could mean the updated "Short Circuit" will make a perfect RetroFit.

Now I close by bringing you the fine musical stylings of El Debarge and a music video that can charitably be described as totally cheese-tastic. Enjoy.

RetroFitted appears on Strollerderby every Thursday morning.

Five Summer Movies for the Kids

Jen Chaney — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:32:00 GMT

It may feel like spring break just ended, but I've got news for you: Summer vacation is right around the corner. How do I know? Because "Iron Man" comes out in two weeks, and that officially kicks off the summer movie season. And once the blockbusters start, long, hot days with kids underfoot can't be far behind.

If you're already concerned about how to keep the little ones entertained -- and no, "Go outside and time how long it takes until you get sun poisoning" is not an appropriate parental response to the situation -- take a look at this list of five summer flicks you can take your children to see. Keep in mind that release dates, as well as my assessment of these films once I see them, is subject to change.

5. "Speed Racer": The Wachowski Brothers, makers of "The Matrix," aren't usually associated with family-friendly fare. But as Cole noted a few weeks ago, this is indeed a PG-rated film. The trailer makes it look like a movie that's very likely to induce seizures, but if it's a rainy day and your son has just dumped a Costco-sized box of Cheerios all over the kitchen floor, you might be willing to take the risk. Release Date: May 9.

4. "Space Chimps": This animated outer space adventure may be total crap. But there are monkeys in it. And kids love themselves some monkey humor. Release Date: July 18.

3. "Kung Fu Panda": A PG-rated cartoon about pandas who can do Kung Fu, featuring the voices of Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman. This is either a colossal train wreck or box office gold. Release Date: June 6.

2. "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl": Yes, this looks a little shmaltzy. And little Abigail Breslin has not had the best track record since her breakout role in "Little Miss Sunshine." But this is the first feature film based on the American Girl dolls. And as we all know, the American Girl dolls are a force that can't be stopped. To top it all off, the movie goes into wide release just in time for the July 4th holiday, so if you don't take your daughters to go see it, you're letting the terrorists win. Release Date: Limited on June 20, wide July 2.

1. "Wall-E": At this point, Pixar is practically infallible. After giving us "Finding Nemo," "The Incredibles," "Cars" and last summer's "Ratatouille," the animation geniuses turn their attention this year to a robot who falls in love. I hate to sound like one of those cheesy movie trailer voiceovers, but ... if you take your kids to just one movie this summer, this is the one to see. I like monkeys and pandas as much as the next person but the people at Pixar have cinematic gifts that are pretty much untouchable. Release Date: June 27.

Photo: Pixar Via The Daily Mail