Strollerderby : Washington

Marching on Washington for the Rights of His "Junk"

JeanneSager — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:57:00 GMT

Penis protectors unite!

That's right - you read that right. A march on Washington this week was all about the rights of man . . .hood.

In honor of Genital Integrity Awareness Week (yes, you read that right too), a group of fifty protestors made their presence known on the national mall to fight to keep newborn baby boys from having their little foreskins removed. Joining the fray was a guy who mass-produces machines he claims will help circumcised men grow back their foreskins, plus the only guy to ever sue a doctor (and win) for his newborn snippage.

The inactivists (don't dare call them activists - that cuts, man), griped that their numbers were down a little for the sixteenth annual march because of the economy. I'm glad to hear it. Not because I'm an especial fan of circumcision (although, honestly, after reading Kate's post the other day about the proven link to STD reductions, I'm leaning more and more in that direction!). I'm just not sure a march on Washington is really in order in this economic climate to protect foreskins.

Little flaps of flesh. Eensy, weensy bits of weenie wrap.

No matter where you stand on circumcision - pro, anti - would you be marching on Washington about this?

Image: SFGate

Bringing the Kids to the Inauguration - Think Again

SunnyChanel — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Planning on going to Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony? Are you planning on bringing the baby? Perhaps you should think again. Although there aren’t any rules saying that kids are personas non grata, bringing the little ones is being discouraged through some recent decisions by the organizing committee.

They have banned all strollers and backpacks and have stated that “there are no childcare facilities provided to attendees." And that parents should keep in mind that "a vast majority of attendees will be in standing room sections and should be prepared to be on their feet for several hours." No stroller? No back packs? With a kid in tow? That sounds like no fun. If you’re thinking you can just bring a stylish diaper bag? Think again, no large bags are allowed and neither are suitcases, thermoses or umbrella. An added discouragement is that in mid January it gets mighty cold and that it "is typically cold -- normally 37 F at noon -- and occasionally wet."

A spokeswoman for the inauguration said that "an event where you will have 1 million people is inherently kid-unfriendly. They are shorter than everyone else; they can be stepped on. Parents should think long and hard about bringing a small kid to an event with 1 million people."

This moment in history would be an amazing event to share with your children, but it may not be the most practical of choices, depending on the age and needs of your offspring and your stamina!

Are you planning on going to the inauguration ceremony? And if so, are you bringing the kids?

Source

Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Brett Singer — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

If your last name is Obama, you may start getting special treatment, even if you aren't related to the President-elect.

The Washington Post reports that 28-year-old DC resident Nicanor Obama was pulled over for speeding. But when the can't-drive-55 guy handed over his driver's license, the police officer told him, "Well, I'm going to let you go because you have the Obama name."

Obviously there are other folks who share last names with the famous. But as the Post puts it, "being asked whether you can sing 'My Way' or play 'Purple Haze' pales in comparison with 'Can you get my cousin pardoned?' or, more earnestly, 'Can you get me inauguration tickets?'" (19-year-old college freshman Denise Maye Obama gets asked that a lot.)

How many Obamas are out there? The Post says "there might be fewer than 20 Obama families in the United States, compared with more than 11,000 Clintons and 60,000 Bushes."

My last name never got me anything. Except for the occasional, "Singer! La-la-la!" when I was in kindergarten.

Source: Washington Post

Inauguration Day's a School Day: How Will Your Family Celebrate?

JeanneSager — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:28:00 GMT

What will you be doing on January 20, 2009? With almost a quarter million tickets being handed out for President-Elect Barack Obama's swearing in as the forty-fourth commander in chief and a crowd of four million expected, chances are Sasha and Malia won't be the only kids on the national mall. As for the rest of us? The 20th is a school day this year; not to mention a work day.

In fact the noon-time ceremony will be hard for all by stay-at-home parents with non-school-aged (or homeschooled) kids to watch. I'm crossing my fingers for a snow day, so I won't have to make a mad drive across town from nursery school pick-up to settle in in front of the TV. I expect my three-year-old will only have the patience for a few minutes of President Barack Obama before she's ready for me to flip to Noggin or play the ladybug game, but parents with older kids have an incredible opportunity to share history with their kids on a frosty Tuesday that's fast approaching.

Every inauguration's a teaching moment, but this is a day more akin to Kennedy's swearing in than Bush 2's second time at the podium (which I skipped, by the way - although I did watch the first). It will be the one and only time we will watch the first black president of the United States sworn in. When our kids are old farts like us, will they be able to talk about the day they watched it?

Is it worth it to you to make the drive to D.C.? Will you keep them home from school just to watch it at home? Or will the day be business as usual?

Image: Official Inauguration Site of the U.S. Senate

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Des Moines sex club shut down

Brett Singer — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Most of the news that mentions Des Moines this week will be about will Shawn Johnson, the adorable little pixie person with abs of steel who is winning gymnastics medals in Beijing. But there's something else happening in Iowa's most populous city. (BIG GIANT CORRECTION: This happened in Des Moines, WASHINGTON, not Iowa. We have egg on our faces and offer a big thank you to Megan, the commenter who pointed this out.)

A sex club called – hang on – the Hardwood Cabin has been shut down. I've tried to come up with a better re-write for the basic facts, but here is the opening paragraph of the story: "Regan 'Draco' Lane-Smith and 'Naughty' Nonah Elliston outfitted their six-bedroom rental house with 15 mattresses, bondage crosses and sex swings. They built elaborate sets in their backyard for taking erotic photos."

The fun part is that they were doing this in a residential neighborhood. At least, it's the fun part if you didn't live in that neighborhood.

Now, being pervy isn't illegal in ~~Iowa~~ Washinton (as far as I know; I've actually never tried anything pervy in Des Moines). But operating a business without a license is, and that's what got them in trouble with the law.

Naughty and Draco (sounds like the name of a a really crummy rap duo from the mid-90's – "D to the R to the A to the C to the O / I got Naughty on my left and she ain't no ho!") say that they are "being persecuted for their lifestyle," and that since they weren't charging admission, it's not a business; therefore they shouldn't be asked to stop being "happy hedonists." They go on to say that they are, "normal people who happen to enjoy sex."

Sex with a whole lot of people at once, that is. After searching for a house "that would perfectly suit them and their hobby," they found the Hardwood (can't type that without laughing) and started having, um, parties. What began as a bi-weekly affair blossomed into a three day a week thing, with as many as 60 people present. "Members were as young as 22 and as old as 80," according to the Seattle Times.

N and D did what they could to be respectful of their surroundings, telling neighbors that they would be having parties (not sure if they said what kind), and giving out their phone numbers for folks to complain if they felt things got too noisy. The problem is, as the Hardwood (heh heh) groundskeeper points out, "They've tried to be decent…[but] With all that many people, you're going to lose control." Most of the complaints would have happened with any sort of party, clothed or not – too many cars in the driveway, too much noise. In this case, the noises were of the "moaning and slapping" variety, sounding "like a raccoon dying." (Hey! Now that's a party.) The dionysian soiree's also featured nude swimming and sunbathing in the yard in the middle of the afternoon, although no actual sex acts took place outdoors.

As for whether or not it was a business or just a private party filled with naked strangers, I can see why authorities would be a little bit suspicious: the couple's website, HardwoodCabin.com (snicker) said, "on Wednesday, ladies are reduced rate or food or pop donations and men are the usual rate." There are also references to a "staff" that is, of course, "really cool." The site is gone, but you can see it via the Internet Archive; some of their Yahoo! Group is also archived.

I'm not generally a prude, but I don't think I'd be all that thrilled if my neighbors were having weekly parties with that many people, especially if said parties included nude sunbathing and loud sex. In my Manhattan apartment, we used to have a neighbor who was, shall we say, quite noisy when she was in the company of her significant other, but I only heard her when I went to take out the garbage at night. It wasn't like this neighborhood, where you would have had to black out your windows to avoid seeing people going the full monty on a weekly basis. I also admit that I question whether or not a desire to constantly have sex with multiple partners while married is as "normal" as they say. That is, if they really weren't charging anything, why are you having so many people over for random screwing?

Would you want to live next door to these people? And is "swinging" normal behavior?

source: Seattle Times

images: HardwoodCabin.com via Internet Archive

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The Panda Might Be Knocked Up

Jen Chaney — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:02:00 GMT

How much would it suck if human pregnancies worked like panda ones?

Mei Xiang, the possible panda mama at Washington D.C.'s National Zoo, might be pregnant. Zoo officials detected a rise in her progestin levels, which is a sign that she could be carrying another baby panda -- she gave birth to Tai Shan back in 2005 -- but not necessarily.

See, pandas can apparently have pseudo-pregnancies, which, according to this Washington Post story, involve "physical, hormonal and behavioral changes that mimic the real thing" even though no fetus has developed. So she gets to suffer from morning sickness, mood swings and all sorts of other unpleasantries for nothing? And no one can even tell she's pregnant so everyone just thinks she's Bitchy Panda for no reason? That's just not right.

To make matters worse, if she actually is with-panda, it's very possible no one will know for certain until she gives birth in mid- to late-July; apparently, panda fetuses develop so quickly that pregnancies often are not confirmed until the little one is almost here. Translation: No shower for Mei Xiang!

Still, the payoff is worth it. Look how cute Tai Shan was when he was a baby.

Image: Cottontimer.com

Baby Born in Beltway Traffic

Jen Chaney — Tue, 13 May 2008 14:03:00 GMT

A woman gave birth to a baby girl yesterday morning on the Beltway just outside of Washington, D.C. For the rest of her life, that kid will answer the question, "Where you were born?" with "On the exit ramp to New Hampshire Ave."

It was a terribly rainy day here in the Washington area and traveling was a challenge on virtually every major roadway. Consequently, the poor mom and dad were stuck in traffic on 495 and couldn't get to Holy Cross Hospital, where they had planned to deliver their child. Instead they had to pull off the highway and call 911, leading to an often confusing conversation between the parents-to-be and the 911 operator. (The last thing you want to say if you're an expectant father, or hear if you're taking a 911 call: "The baby's head is out! The baby's head is out!") You can hear most of that call here.

After delivering with help from a fire and rescue team, mother and baby eventually managed to get to Holy Cross Hospital in Silver Spring, Md., where they are reportedly recovering. Just goes to show that you can take all the birthing classes imaginable and still not be fully prepared for the type of delivery fate tosses your way. This little story also proves, once and for all, that people in D.C. really need to learn how to drive in the rain.

Photo Credit: Interstate-guide.com

Meet 'The Breast Whisperer'

Jen Chaney — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:33:00 GMT

The Washington Post runs an article today about a D.C. lactaction consultant so effective, she is known as "The Breast Whisperer." Yes, the woman literally speaks to the breasts of new mothers: "Psst. Hey, boob. No, not you, the other one. I've got a secret to tell you: If you don't start making some milk, I'm going to get medieval on your ass."

Just you watch: The Breast Whisperer will wind up with her own show on the National Geographic Channel. And every week, she'll tell women they need to let their nipples be the pack leaders.

Okay, (most) jokes aside: What does Pat Shelly, Lactaction Consultant Extraordinaire, have that other nursing nurturers don't? In addition to possessing a flair for finding the root cause of breast-feeding issues, right down to problems with baby's tongue ligaments, she also refuses to be judgmental. If a mother needs to supplement with formula while working out the feeding situation, Shelly doesn't have a problem with that. Now, I went to a lactation consultant -- coincidentally, also in D.C. -- who also had the same approach, so I wonder if those "La Leche Nazis" we often hear so much about are becoming a thing of the past. Perhaps you can tell me in your comments.

The thing that intrigued me most about this story -- besides the fact that, at $150 per hour, Shelly is making some serious booby booty -- is her next idea. In the last line of the story, our Breast Whisperer says she'd like to open a hotel where nursing mothers could stay overnight while they focus on making sure baby latches on correctly. Naturally, it would be called a "breast and breakfast." And naturally, it would be another way for Shelly to make some cash. But if she's as good as everyone says she is -- and it would be a vacation from the house during those difficult first postpartum weeks -- I'd be booking a room.

Image: rcrh.org

Washington State May Prohibit Abstinence-Only Sex Ed

JasonAvant — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 12:09:00 GMT

News from the state of Washington: a bill that prohibits schools from implementing sex ed programs that teach only abstinence is making the rounds through the state legislature. Over at The Stranger, expectations are high that the bill will make it through the House; the state Senate poses a bigger challenge.

What's interesting about this bill is the wording. First, the bill does require schools to include abstinence discussions in sex ed curricula. Like I said in a previous post, not a bad idea. More important is this: per the bill, sex education courses must be medically and scientifically accurate. Seems that it goes without saying that what we teach our kids should be at least somewhat true, but when it comes to sex ed, that's not always the case. In fact, some of the "facts" that have been taught in abstinence-only courses sound suspiciously like sound bites from Rick Santorum's campaign speeches.

In my mind, such blatant fabrications as the ones in that Post article are more than the moronic ravings of an addled mind. Such tripe is a deliberate attempt to politicize sex education programs, pushing a right wing agenda onto kids (and in "Doctor" Frist's case, adults) who'll believe anything an authority figure tells them. The attempt in Washington to pass a bill that mandates fact-based sex ed is important; hopefully it'll become law.

New Initiative Says Couples Must Have Kids or Else!

Karen Murphy — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 14:10:00 GMT

Irony in politics? I like it! A group favoring same-sex marriage in Washingon State has proposed an initiative requiring that heterosexual couples must procreate within three years of marriage or face having their marriage annulled. Under the measure marriage could be between men and women only, and couples would be required to prove they can have children in order to get a marriage license. All other marriages would be deemed "unrecognized", and people in those marriages would be ineligible to receive any marriage benefits.

The idea behind the initiative would be that the state supreme will strike down the initiatives as unconstitutional, weakening the basis for the same-sex marriage ban upheld by that court last summer, thereby paving the way for a successful appeal. I'm absolutely giddy with excitement over the humor and absurdity of this initiative, which should prove at the very least to "be good fun to see the social conservatives who have long screamed that marriage exists for the sole purpose of procreation be forced to choke on their own rhetoric."

Get Ready for a Baby Boom in Washington

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 18:45:00 GMT

Normally when I write about really messed up things going on in Washington I am referring to the District of Columbia, but this time I am talking about Washington State. In Washington State almost a third of the school districts won't allow the sex education teachers to talk about contraception. General sex ed is not required in Washington schools, but HIV/AIDS training is. A quote from this article says that "research has shown, the students are sexually active, but they don't use condoms because they think they don't work".

Holy shit. So these kids are going around having unprotected sex because they were given incomplete information? That makes me sick to my stomach. We don't have to like the fact that teenagers and preteens are having sex like crazy, but don't we at least owe it to them to give them all of the facts?

Even worse: "Teachers in 30 percent of the districts surveyed are not allowed to discuss condoms or contraception. Twenty-eight percent are banned from discussing abortion, and 23 percent are not allowed to talk about homosexuality." Is this really giving kids an education? I don't care what your personal beliefs are. I've used this analogy before, but I don't think people should own snakes as pets, but that doesn't mean I won't teach my children about their existence.