Strollerderby : Washington Post

Woman Will Go Free If Son Comes Back To Life

Brett Singer — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:30:00 GMT

In what has to be a first, a Maryland court has accepted a plea bargain where she will testify against her fellow cult members and plead guilty -- unless her son is resurrected.

22-year-old Ria Ramkissoon is accused of refusing to feed her son Javon because "he didn't say 'amen' before breakfast." Ramkissoon and other parents were allegedly ordered to do this by a woman named Queen Antoinette, the leader of a group called One Mind Ministries. Queen Antoinette is charged with murder and child abuse resulting in death; in exchange for her testimony, Ramkissoon will plead guilty only to the latter charge.

Prosecutors do what they have to do to get convictions, so I guess the deal makes sense. In fact, they included very specific stipulations, claiming that the rebirth "would need to be a Jesus-like resurrection…It cannot be a reincarnation in another object or animal." So if Ramkissoon brings in a cabbage and says, "this is my son," no dice.

The only question I have is this: if Ramkissoon said that she believed her son had only traveled to Mars and would return in a year, would the same deal have been offered? Would that belief be any less sane? Is it possible that prosecutors are taking advantage of a mentally damaged individual? Or is this reasonable because the resurrection deal (which hopefully won't become commonplace in our courts) falls under the category of religious beliefs?

That's a tough question to answer, of course. For now, hopefully the people responsible for this horrific crime will be brought to justice.

Source/Image: Washington Post

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Should These Parents Be Charged With Murder?

Madeline Holler — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:52:00 GMT

More than once, while driving around completely alone in my car, I've had the sudden and shocking feeling that I forgot one of my children somewhere. The feeling is quick -- over in an instant. But it still leaves me a little stunned. And I can't help but think very purposefully, OK, where's that one. And her sister. And, wait, who has the baby? Oh, right. Check, check, annnnd check.

So when I hear stories about parents who have accidentally forgotten their children in the back seat of the car -- long enough for the child to overheat and die -- I have never once though oh, that could never happen to me. I've also never thought that parent committed a crime -- murder even.

But knocking around there somewhere in my brain is the thought that somehow the parent should have known he or she was way overextended and maybe, like me in the car, should have done a mental inventory, should have known this was a possibilty. Looks like I'm not alone.

Some prosecutors take it a step further and charge the parents with manslaughter or murder. So while they grieve over the most unforgiving mistake they'll ever make, they're also fighting to keep themselves out of jail.

The Washington Post's Gene Weingarten writes a very detailed piece, "Fatal Distraction," about a dozen or so cases of a child who was unintentionally left in the car to die. His story, which is very emotional -- line up a box of Kleenex before you sit down to read it, gives details of some of the more recent cases. Like how it's even possible to forget a child in a car. Why one parent might be charged with a crime and another the next county over might not.

And what, exactly, happened that day and how did these people react when they realized what they had done. The alignment of events that led to such a tragic oversight will sound frighteningly familiar when you read them. And might make how you feel about these parents change.

One couple lost their only child, a boy they had adopted from Russia. Miles Harrison (pictured above) was charged with the boy's death. He was also held up in Russia as the poster adoptive parent and why the country should shut down adoptions from the U.S. They won't likely be allowed to adopt again.

Another mother still drives the car that her child died in.

Plenty have contemplated suicide.

Child death due to hyperthermia -- overheating -- in the car happens 15 to 25 times a year, the bulk of the deaths between spring and fall. Some are indeed the result of real negligence -- a parent who uses the car as a daycare, for example. How close have you come to this happening to you?

Weingarten's story ends on a hopeful note, which I won't spoil for you here. But suffice it to say, these parents share an understanding of a situation and they help each other through it -- sometimes in unimaginably joyful ways.

So how have you reacted when you hear these stories? Are these parents criminally negligent? Murderers?

Photo: Washington Post

Morning News: McCain Takes Aim at Obama's Fancy 'Copter

Madeline Holler — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:00:00 GMT

At yesterday's Fiscal Responsibility Summit -- attended by the President and high-ranking Congress members, not free-spending teens and their pursed-lipped mothers as the name might suggest -- John McCain scolded Obama for an expensive fleet of helicopters that could soon be at the president's disposal. "Your helicopter is now going to cost as much as Air Force One," the Arizona Senator said to his former rival, who basically said, "yeah, I don't think I need them either." NB: the helicopters were ordered during the Bush administration.

Obama's response should only endear him further to a large number of Americans. In a Washington Post-ABC News poll, he's get high marks for his first month in office and for the almost $790 billion stimulus package and the $75 billion mortgage bailout program. Nearly 8 in 10 respondents say the President has exceeded their expectations. Love fest? Not from everyone. Republicans aren't as happy as they were back during the trasition. And few of any party seem to like the idea of bailing out the auto industry. Michigan? Ouch?

Still, more, more, give them more!

All the hundreds of billions in bailouts and the projected $1.5 trillion deficit by year's end makes this record-breaking Yves St. Laurent art auction look just kind of profitable. $261 million? It was lying around in the couch cushions.

A San Francisco lawmaker has got a great money-making scheme. Taxing pot! It's his state's largest cash crop (huh. We thought it was almonds.) and he thinks Californian's deserve a cut of the package.

Make $300 just by cutting up your American Express credit card. Really. They'll pay you.

Now, now, don't get mad if you got rid of that account years ago. It's a fact: anger can kill you. Settle down!

Will Obama's chief of staff Rahm Emanuel be the next to resign over tax dodging? Apparently, there are questions about whether he should have listed the Washington, D.C., basement room where he has lived for five years -- for free! -- on his taxes. Could he have written off the the air mattress and naked light bulb dangling from the ceiling?

Random: A Miami University student discovered an authentic fingerprint of Abraham Lincoln. That's cool! And odd.

Great, great news for Bedouin girls in Israel's Negev: genital mutilation is no more. It's gone. Over. Does not happen. What changed? The laws, for one. But also education, showing you can't just threaten to put people in jail.

Welcome to the world, Scarlet Starr (Hollywood name ...). She's the new baby girl and first child of Sporty Spice, Mel C.

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Photo: HuffPo

Black Market for Blankies

Kelly Mills — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:32:00 GMT

According to the Washington Post, there's a whole slew of sellers on ebay who are buying up seemingly "'eh, what's the deal" blankets, stuffed animals, and other toys. Why? Because the items have been discontinued by manufacturers, and sellers are hoping to capitalize on the desparation of one group in particular.

The "lost lovie" parents. You know, folks whose kids are attached to a binkie, snuggle, woobie, num-num, lovie, blankie, wootsie cueball whatsit. Whatever. Sellers are counting on parents paying top dollar when their child's most precious security possession goes missing. For example, one Carter's blanket had a "buy it now" option of $54.88 and a message telling people not to ask why the price was so high, because this item could only be found on eBay.

I'm simultaneously creeped out by the idea of capitalizing on a kid's attachment to an almost irreplaceable item, and impressed by the ingenuity of people who get exactly how far parents will go to keep their kids from a lost-blankie freakout. I know my family once drove five hours back to a hotel during a packed vacation to retrieve my sister's most beloved stuffed otter.

So how far would you go or have you gone to keep your kid snuggie-satisfied? Would you pay top dollar to ebay vultures/entrepreneurs?

Teddy Bear Rescue Goes Horribly Wrong

Georgia Family Has Everything They Own Up on eBay

Obama Name Suddenly Very Helpful For Speeding Tickets

Brett Singer — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

If your last name is Obama, you may start getting special treatment, even if you aren't related to the President-elect.

The Washington Post reports that 28-year-old DC resident Nicanor Obama was pulled over for speeding. But when the can't-drive-55 guy handed over his driver's license, the police officer told him, "Well, I'm going to let you go because you have the Obama name."

Obviously there are other folks who share last names with the famous. But as the Post puts it, "being asked whether you can sing 'My Way' or play 'Purple Haze' pales in comparison with 'Can you get my cousin pardoned?' or, more earnestly, 'Can you get me inauguration tickets?'" (19-year-old college freshman Denise Maye Obama gets asked that a lot.)

How many Obamas are out there? The Post says "there might be fewer than 20 Obama families in the United States, compared with more than 11,000 Clintons and 60,000 Bushes."

My last name never got me anything. Except for the occasional, "Singer! La-la-la!" when I was in kindergarten.

Source: Washington Post

They Say: Bilingual Kids Stutter More

Madeline Holler — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Researchers in stuttering have confirmed what they have long suspected: bilingual children stutter more than those who speak only one language at home and school.

But not all bilingual kids fit the mold. What the researchers found was that those kids who have been bilingual since very early childhood (before age 5) are more likely to stutter.

Those who speak one language at home and then, say, start speaking English at school and who had a stutter seemed to lose the stutter by the age of 12.

Almost all the bilingual kids who stuttered did so in both languages.

The researchers didn't give reasons why early bilingualism might be related to stuttering. But if you've raising a dual-language speaker, don't panic. School work didn't appear to be affected by the stuttering, and as is the case with many stutters, it disappeared by adolescence. Also, the Washington Post blog post about this study also linked another study which showed bilingualism may help build denser gray matter in the brain and make polyglotts smarter.

Photo: ayushveda.com

Pro-Life Pharmacy won't sell birth control

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

DMC Pharmacy, can we help you?

Oh, you want birth control pills. I'm sorry, we can't help you with that. No, we don't sell condoms either. How about this pamphlet on the Rhythm Method? Perhaps a new Bible? Hello? Hello, are you there?

The DMC Pharmacy in Chantilly, Virginia, is a Pharmacy with a Point of View. Basically, if you're going to "do it," you should be prepared for the pitter-patter of little feet. That means no condoms, no birth control pills, no morning after pill – nada. Zip. The "family planning" aisle will be filled with rosary beads, Left Behind novels and snacks filled with nothing but high (moral) fiber. (We kid, because we love.)

(Aside #1: I wonder how far the store will take this. Would they sell copies of "The Da Vinci Code"? How about "Hustler"? Jolt Cola?)

(Aside #2: Now, don't go to dmcpharmacy.org if you want to find the pro-life pharmacy. That site is for a different DMC Pharmacy, which is part of the Detroit Medical Center. I'm not sure if they'll sell you a rubber, but my guess is that they will.)

Tom Brejcha from the Thomas More Society is, of course, supportive of the venture. Brejcha is representing another pharmacist who refused to fill a birth control prescription on moral grounds. The Washington Post quotes the attorney as saying, "Every pharmacist has the right to do the same thing." According to the Post, "[The DMC Pharmacy in Chantilly] is one of a small but growing number of drugstores around the country that have become the latest front in a conflict pitting patients' rights against those of health-care workers who assert a 'right of conscience' to refuse to provide care or products that they find objectionable."

Now, we may mock (in good humor) the notion of a pro-life pharmacy. But I think they have a right to keep contraceptives off the shelves; I'm not a lawyer but I'm fairly certain that no private store has a legal obligation to sell any product that they don't want to. Manhattan is filled with drugstores advertising a staff that will help you get your health insurance company to pay for fertility treatments, which is something not typically offered at your local Walgreen's. Different strokes, different folks. I do have a problem with a pharmacist who works at a "regular" pharmacy (you know, the kind of establishment that will burn in eternal hellfire – OK, sorry, mocking again, it's just a joke! Ouch! Watch the lightning!) refusing to fill any prescription, or a health-care worker who goes against the policies of their employer. You are absolutely entitled to your beliefs, but don't you also have to do the job that you were hired for? That's another legal question I don't claim to know the answer to.

Obviously it would be a problem is every store took this attitude. Personally, even though I don't need birth control pills myself, I would gladly avoid a store that took a stance against them. The best way to stop stores like this from proliferating is simply to not shop there.

Source: thefrisky

images: Wikipedia (1, 2), and then futzed with in Photoshop by me

Republicans Hate Mothers, Apple Pie

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:29:00 GMT

You'd think if you were trying to tie up Congress with shenanigans -- something both parties are great at -- you'd at least have the common sense to take a time out when a simple vote honoring moms comes to the floor.

I mean, I get it if you want to dick around with mortgage legislation or the war -- you know, things that don't really mean anything -- but moms? Ladies and Gentlemen -- just how stupid are you?

Plenty, apparently.

According to this story by the always-awesome Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, House Republicans first voted unanimously in favor of a resolution "Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother's Day." Then they wanted to reconsider. In the end, 178 Republicans voted against it. Just to mess around.

They should be fired. I mean it. This is a small potatoes resolution (hi mom!) that no one really cares about and they probably shouldn't be wasting their time on anyway. Moms! We love them! Well who doesn't? That's like voting on a resolution "for the children." Come. On!

It's bad enough to waste time on an initial vote, but then to dicker around with another one just to delay and stall and be an ass is outrageous when the economy is in the tank and our kids are involved in two wars. Ladies, gentleman, get to work. That's how to really honor mom.

Meet 'The Breast Whisperer'

Jen Chaney — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:33:00 GMT

The Washington Post runs an article today about a D.C. lactaction consultant so effective, she is known as "The Breast Whisperer." Yes, the woman literally speaks to the breasts of new mothers: "Psst. Hey, boob. No, not you, the other one. I've got a secret to tell you: If you don't start making some milk, I'm going to get medieval on your ass."

Just you watch: The Breast Whisperer will wind up with her own show on the National Geographic Channel. And every week, she'll tell women they need to let their nipples be the pack leaders.

Okay, (most) jokes aside: What does Pat Shelly, Lactaction Consultant Extraordinaire, have that other nursing nurturers don't? In addition to possessing a flair for finding the root cause of breast-feeding issues, right down to problems with baby's tongue ligaments, she also refuses to be judgmental. If a mother needs to supplement with formula while working out the feeding situation, Shelly doesn't have a problem with that. Now, I went to a lactation consultant -- coincidentally, also in D.C. -- who also had the same approach, so I wonder if those "La Leche Nazis" we often hear so much about are becoming a thing of the past. Perhaps you can tell me in your comments.

The thing that intrigued me most about this story -- besides the fact that, at $150 per hour, Shelly is making some serious booby booty -- is her next idea. In the last line of the story, our Breast Whisperer says she'd like to open a hotel where nursing mothers could stay overnight while they focus on making sure baby latches on correctly. Naturally, it would be called a "breast and breakfast." And naturally, it would be another way for Shelly to make some cash. But if she's as good as everyone says she is -- and it would be a vacation from the house during those difficult first postpartum weeks -- I'd be booking a room.

Image: rcrh.org

Update: School Reinstates Tag After "Reorientation"

Kelly Mills — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:32:00 GMT

The Virginia elementary school that banned tag may again allow kids to be "it". A few weeks ago, principal Robyn Hooker outlawed the game, saying it had gotten out of hand, with students being tackled and piled on and dragged into games unwillingly. Some outcry among parents ensued, and so school administrators instituted a week of "reorientation lessons on playground safety" (sounds so ominous, like "reprogramming") in P.E. classes, and should be allowing the game to begin again today.

Now clearly we are a blog divided on this issue, and I have the feeling Jen will not condone my practice of tackling each Strollerderby writer at the annual holiday party and administering either a noogie or a wet willy. But I am the crotchety libertarian again, it seems, and I couldn't get behind the ban. I mean, it doesn't seem like tag is an inherently violent game, and I imagine you could outlaw tackling and dogpiles instead. But I think the real problems rest in our understaffed schools, with minimal supervision at recess, and in our inability to work on constructive solutions with kids that don't involve making big, sweeping rules. And this is coming from someone who, as a kid, would so have been at the bottom of that dogpile.

Maternity Leave and Sick Newborns

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:03:00 GMT

Here's the Sophie's Choice of parental leave: use up all your leave time to be with your preemie newborns at the hospital or save it for after they get home?

A federal employee in Washington, D.C., had to make that decision and wound up going back to work two weeks (two weeks!) after giving birth.

Going without pay, which she can under the Family Medical Leave Act, wasn't an option, as it isn't for many families.

The mother's story comes up as an example of how inadequate family leave for federal employees is. This mother had saved up all her sick and vacation days for maternity leave. But when the babies were born early and had to spend time at the hospital, she had to use those days carefully and make the tough choice to return to work two weeks after giving birth. A N.Y. congresswoman is working to get federal employees eight weeks of paid paternity leave.

From the Washingtonpost.com

Too often, federal employees are forced to choose between their paycheck and their new child, said Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney (D-N.Y.), vice chairman of the joint committee, noting that "even the best-prepared workers face difficult choices when children need their care."

We all know the U.S. is painfully behind in terms of family and maternity leave. So how would you have used the days, particularly if going without pay isn't an option?

Badass Coach/Mom Takes Weeks-Old Twins to Tournament

Madeline Holler — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Here's how I know that I lack determination, motivation, a sense of teamwork and the ability to show some hustle. I think this women's basketball coach is crazy -- admirable, but crazy.

Brenda Frese, a coach/mom for the women's basketball team at the University of Maryland, wanted to be there for the final game of the seniors on her team when they play in the ACC women's basketball tournament in North Carolina. But she couldn't stand the idea of being away from her two newborn sons.

Here's her plan: take the two-week-old twin boys on the road with her to the tournament. All of which involves, you know, getting dressed and leaving the house.

She won't be be nursing courtside (though wouldn't that be great!). Her husband and both sets of grandparents are making the trip with her and the team and looking after the little buggers. So, it's not the presence of the boys -- or taking them on a road trip -- that astounds me. It's the fact that she's organized and willing to do anything but nap, watch TV and fine with being at some distance from a bathroom fewer than three weeks post-partum. Oh, and that she'll presumably be jumping up and down and screaming and slapping girls on the butts and giving half-time pep talks. What next -- picking cabbage 13 hours a day?

Seriously, makes me tired and sore just thinking about it.

Good game, coach, good game.

Photo: Washington Post

Did the Washington Post Say Our Girls Are Dim Or Not?

Kelly Mills — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:35:00 GMT

The other day I was discussing the women's suffrage movement with my daughter. When she asked why women couldn't vote in the past, I cited a number of reasons, including the fact that many people thought women were too emotional and less intelligent than men, and therefore couldn't be entrusted to make good decisions. She looked dumbfounded, and asked, "Well, since the women knew that wasn't true, why didn't they just take over?" That led to another involved discussion, and it came up that some women also bought the stereotypes about themselves. Hey, and then the next day the Washington Post printed this idiotic thing on how women are dumber than men.

You may have heard that the Outlook editor John Pomfret says the piece ~~of crap~~ was intended to be "tongue-in-cheek." I dunno, I thought a key element of satire was that it was supposed to be funny, but I'm a woman, and therefore maybe a little slower at getting these things. I guess it's not like anyone really behaves like women are less intelligent, or prints stupid studies about sex differences that imply the weaker sex is, well, essentially weaker in certain key areas, right? Or that stereotypes about women are just fine to trot out regularly as other stereotypes become more taboo? Good thing we don't have to hear about how we are too emotional, how we must love "chick flicks' and "chick lit," and how we are all gonna vote for Hilary because she's a woman and she cried and we care most about our shoes and our wrinkles and having babies before we turn 35. We are from Venus, aren't we? See, I guess women aren't just unfunny (and the WaPo article certainly serves as evidence towards that assertion) but we also lack a sense of humor.

Ms. Allen, when it comes to pitching humor, you throw like a girl.

Washington Post's "On Being" Series Features Stay-at-Home-Dad

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 23:03:00 GMT

Jennifer Crandall's "On Being" series for the Washington Post features video clips of people from all walks of life, and this week's topic, "On Being: a stay-at-home-parent features Jeffrey Barehand and his son Beckham.

I was comforted to see that his hair is slightly dishevled and his clothes are slightly wrinkled, just like mine. He also has that ~~tired and punch drunk~~ "relaxed" demeanor of a typical stay-home-parent.

Barehand talks about feeling like an "eco-Nazi" for driving and SUV and his need for self-medication, at least glass of wine a night. (Hmmm. Wonder if the sanctimommies will get all up in arms about a dad drinking?). Like all of us who stay home with our kids (or all of us who do the "Juggle"), it's all worth it when you feel tiny arms encircle your neck and a little voice saying, "Da."

One Mom, One Child: The Gift of Down Syndrome

Karen Murphy — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 18:05:00 GMT

As the mother of a child with Down syndrome, I cannot help but be thrilled when I read articles like Abigail Braithwaite's heartfelt essay about life with her daughter with Down syndrome in yesterday's Washington Post. Her experiences with her nine-month-old daughter Adara seem to mirror my own with my son at that age in so many ways, and her frankness about her life with this tiny, charming girl is refreshing. In order to truly educate people on what it's like raising a child with special needs, it's important to tell the whole story: the tears of frustration over things you cannot control, the myriad ways you have to develop of doing things differently just to help your child survive, the grief for the child you thought you were going to have, and finally the acceptance and realization of just who it is that's come to live with you and give to you their extraordinary gifts.

Abigail's essay will likely help bring about new perspectives to people about what it's like to raise or be a person with Down syndrome. For her, it's summed up this way: "I have long said I am one of the luckiest people I know. This belief has been shaken a couple of times in the past months, but I will stand by those words today. Life is a wild journey; our job is to make the most of it."

I'll add to it: I cannot imagine my life without my son Eric, now that he is here. My life and my perspective about so very many things have changed immensely because of him, and I can't wait to see him continue to bring his gifts to me, my family, and to everyone he meets.