Strollerderby : Xbox

Guitar Hero Camp

Brett Singer — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Ah, summer camp. Log cabins. Bug juice. Video games.

Exsqueeze me?

Power Chord Academy, a company that runs mini-music camps for aspiring rockers, has added summer sessions featuring the popular game where kids pretend to play instruments. Why anyone thinks this is a good thing to have their kids do during the summer is beyond me. To be fair, the sessions are short, as in two or three days. That only adds to the head-scratcher quality of the enterprise for me, however.

Many have hailed Guitar Hero and Rock Band as fantastic gateways for kids to start learning how to play a musical instrument. I am not one of those people. I play guitar, and I've played Guitar Hero. It's different. I actually had some difficulty at first learning to "play" my "guitar" the way the game wanted me to rather than the way I would play an actual guitar. Why? Because it's different.

I do think that the game exposes kids to music that they would otherwise probably dismiss as "lame" or "for old people." Guitar Hero 3 includes music by Mountain, Social Distortion, Heart -- guitar rock. Even a song like "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys, which shows up in Rock Band, is retro to these kids today. (These kids today. With their hippity-hop music, and that Justin Timberwolf...)

There's nothing wrong with the game. I've played it, it's kind of fun, and I'm sure if I was 10 I would enjoy it more than I do at...the age that I am. But sending kids to camp to play a video game? No way.

Image: Amazon

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XBox Writes Santa Letter for Your Kids

JeanneSager — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Vista may not be Microsoft's biggest flub of the year. Hard to believe, I know, but a form letter generator for kids begging for their XBox this holiday might just beat the blue screen of death bombing operating system for the Worst Attempt At Being Useful Award.

To help convince doubting Thomases and Thomasinas that life without an XBox is a fate worse than having Mom pick them up from school in her PJs and curlers, Microsoft is letting kids choose their words from multiple choice drop-down menus. The XBox site lets them pick a recipient, a holiday (Festivus is on there for you Seinfeld fans), a means of celebration and list of four Microsoft products (talk about a monopoly). It even lets them clue you in on why they really deserve your major cash investment - ie. they've been "oder-free" all year long.

Ralphie's ode to his Red Rider BB gun this isn't. The results of my husband taking a spin to convince me he really needs an XBox (sadly, he's only half joking!) were amusing in that Mad Libs kind of way. But if one of these came from a kid, I'd be tempted to send them back to the drawing board to write a proper Santa letter one hundred times. Sorry kiddo, if you can't summon the passion to write your own letter, Mommy can't summon the $200-something it would take to bring home one of those babies.

On second thought, let 'em "write" it. A half-assed attempt on their part should earn them a half-assed attempt at holiday shopping, right? Coal it is.

Image: XBox (the husband's attempt at humor)

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Is Barack Obama Anti-Video Games?

Brett Singer — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:00:00 GMT

Not everyone is overjoyed that Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States last week. (Was it only last week?)

Of course there are people who voted for John McCain. They're not too thrilled. But some hardcore video game players are concerned that our new President-elect may not be so friendly to their favorite pastime.

From the New York Times:

"Blog posts scoring Mr. Obama’s positions on video games have received hundreds of comments, with some readers worrying that his admonitions during the campaign to 'put the video games away' signaled new regulations or restrictions on the industry."

Here's what our new prez said:

"We’re going to have to parent better, and turn off the television set, and put the video games away, and instill a sense of excellence in our children."

Whoa. If that isn't a call to arms, I don't know what is.

In reality, I would imagine that Barack Obama is more likely than any other President to be friendly to the gaming industry as a whole. First of all, his campaign made extensive use of the Internet and other technological tools, including advertising in video games. Plus there is ample evidence that he is at least a little bit geeky. For example, he collects comic books, and made a pretty nerdy Superman reference at the Alfred E. Smith charity dinner (video is below):

In reality, I don't think any politician really wants to "ban" video games. Titles like Grand Theft Auto and other violent or sexually explicit games make "a convenient scapegoat", as the Times quotes a commenter from 1up.com. Just because a guy doesn't spend 12 hours blasting zombies every day doesn't mean he wants to stop other people from doing it. Besides, I think he might have one or two (or a hundred) more important things to worry about come January. Somewhat like the earlier concern that he had stopped telling supporters that he loved them, I think we might be expecting a little bit too much from the guy.

Source: New York Times, Image: Newser

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Missing Teen's Dad Blames Xbox Game Call of Duty

JeanneSager — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:02:00 GMT

Their son has been missing for more than a week, and Brandon Crisp's parents put the blame on Call of Duty, a military-style video game. Before the Canadian teenager took off, dad Steve and mom Angelika said they finally pulled the plug on his addiction.

They took his Xbox.

The 15-year-old Catholic high schooler took off on Tuesday, Oct. 14, and the Crisps have heard nothing from him, nor has he appeared in the online world where Call of Duty players meet to talk strategy and fight a virtual war, battling enemies with sniper rifles and machine guns, heavily armed jets and choppers. It's a game touted for its realistic look at warfare, giving players a chance to experience "tomorrow's warfare." It's also rated "M" for mature.

I don't actually have a problem with kids playing these video games. Studies as recent as last month have shown the kids who play video games are no more likely to turn into bad seeds than they are to be bedwetters. Video game addiction is very real, and I could see how easy it is for kids to replace the reality they experience outside of their bedrooms with the "reality" of the life inside a game system. Brandon's parents say he was reclusive, and didn't like to do anything physical. He fit the "loner in the basement hunched over a computer" stereotype of a typical Call of Duty player to a T. Outside of the house, the Crisps say they're afraid he won't be able to handle himself. Online, he has "friends" to back him up as he goes into make-believe battles. He doesn't need money or food or shelter from the cold - really any of the basics of every day life.

I don't blame them for taking away the Xbox to try to snap their kid back into reality. But can you really blame the game? The game doesn't say "play me, play me, sit on your ass all day." It's not the reason a kid has no survival skills at 15 and no desire to do anything physical.

Regardless, I feel for the Crisps. Not knowing where your child is for 24 hours is bad enough. More than a week? It makes me shiver.

Image: Amazon

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Teen Drops Out of School to Play Guitar Hero

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Many parents of gifted children allow their kids to take time off of school to pursue their artistic or athletic vocation. But what if that vocation is playing video games?

Meet Blake Peebles, a 16-year-old from Raleigh, North Carolina who is one of the best Guitar Hero players in the country—meaning, he has a rare talent for pressing buttons on a toy guitar hooked up to a TV screen. Last September, Blake’s parents finally gave in to his repeated requests to drop out of high school and focus on what he loves. Now, instead of attending high school, Blake studies with a private tutor—and puts in long hours with his Nintendo, PlayStation, and Xbox.

But this is not all fun and games. Blakes hopes to turn his gaming abilities into a lucrative career. Players signed by Major League Gaming (no, I'm not making this up) earn as much as $80,000 a year competing in tournaments.

So far, Blake has won around $1,000—but that money came in the form of gift certificates, gaming equipment, and Chick Fil-A combo meals. He hopes to start bringing in some actual cash after his father takes him to the U.S. regionals of the World Cyber Games.

Concerned family and friends have been quick to condemn the Peebles' decision. But Blake's parents have watched his work ethic and grades improve under a private tutor, and most importantly, they say that Blake is now happy. “I wasn’t really good at anything else that I liked,” he says. Still, the fact remains that being good at Guitar Hero means staying up till 4 a.m. staring at a TV screen.

Do you think the Peebles should have forced Blake to remain in school? Or were they right to trust their son to know what was best for him?

Photo: The News and Observer/Corey Lowenstein

5 reasons it's a good thing I had boys

Brett Singer — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 17:05:00 GMT

I was going to say, "I'm glad I have boys" but that didn't sound quite right. That is, I would love girl-children just as much as I love my guys. But there are a few ways that having boys has made my life – mine, specifically – a little bit easier.

1. No pink ponies: It doesn't seem like having a Y chromosome should automatically mean that one is interested in superheroes, videogames, and action figures inspired by superheroes and videogames. But experience says otherwise. While there are definitely girls who love trucks and boys who follow the Frasier and Niles Crane path – a love of opera, Broadway and snappy clothing – my guys are way into Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Pokémon, Wii, Playstation 2, and so on. If I had to learn whatever there is to know about My Little Pony, I think my brain would crawl out of my ear.

2. Miley-free zone: Thus far Things 1 and 2 have shown zero interest in Billy Ray Cyrus' little ~~meal ticket~~ girl, which means I can continue to go through life knowing almost nothing about her. Maybe this will change when they get older, but hopefully by then Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus will have either pulled a Britney Spears and had a meltdown, grown up and started singing jazz standards, or retired to spend her days sitting on a giant pile of cash gazing longingly at Nick Jonas. OK, I guess I sort of know something about her, but that's just from trying to keep up with pop culture. I have nothing against Miley or the Jonases, but not having to listen to their music or attend their concerts is something I will never, ever complain about.

3. No batting of eyelashes: My wife has pointed out many times that if we had had girls, odds are I would be putty in their hands. I wish I could say I disagree but I think she's probably right. Little girls are so cute, and seeing them cry is much more painful than seeing boys cry. I know that's stupid, sexist, and stupid (did I say that one already?). But I've seen, more than once, little girls who lead their dads around by the nose. It's probably best if we never find out whether or not I would join their ranks.

4. Less irrational over-protectiveness: Again, I am fully aware that this is unfair, stupid and sexist. But if I had girl-children, I would be very tempted not to let them leave the house until they were 30. I guess going to school would be OK, as long as they dressed like those Mormon sect people.

5. No High School Musical: When this monstrosity first started airing on the Disney Channel and the CD went to number one, I tried to watch it out of curiosity. I made it through about 15 minutes before I realized that it would probably be more fun to chew glass. The songs are lame, the characters are dull, the story is… Feh. Anyway, the boys seem immune to whatever charms that thing has, and for that, I am grateful.

image: Amazon.com

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They Say: Limit Kids Screen Time

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

What's great about "advice" is that, in trying to be many things to many people, it often comes out sounding unintentionally dopey.

From About.com's singleparents site (I guess kids in two-parent families can watch as much TV as they want to?) comes these tidbits:

"The American Academy of Pediatrics has some pretty strict guidelines for children's television viewing." What are these "strict" guidelines? Limiting the TV viewing of children younger than 2 years old to two hours per day, and not putting a TV in your kids' bedrooms.

Do you think those are "some pretty stringent guidelines"? I admit that we let our son play his Nintendo DS in his room sometimes, but no TV in his room is not even an issue. I was allowed to get a TV in my room when I was old enough to pay for it myself (hello, Bar Mitzvah cash.)

Then we get to the advice on how to actually limit viewing hours.

- "Don't use the TV as background noise. Only have it on if someone is sitting down watching a specific program." Good advice in general, frankly.

- "If you have TiVo or a DVR, record a few of your child's favorite shows and allow him or her to view them at specific times during the week. Once they've been watched, delete them from the recording device." Clearly these people don't have children, or if they do, they don't have TiVo. In my experience, kids want to watch the same things over and over again. Not necessarily right away, but there are definitely repeat viewings of favorite shows. If we only watched everything once, why do so many folks buy DVDs?

- "Avoid using TV for winding down. Instead, read a book together or allow your child to listen to an audio book." Again, reasonable advice.

- "Provide a TV viewing chart for your children, and teach them to plan out the shows they'd like to watch during the week." This one seems weird to me. Isn't this sending a message that television is so important it needs to be scheduled as an important part of your week? Admittedly, we've been spoiled by having TiVo for the kids' entire lives, so planning is a non-issue (as are commercials.)

- "Finally, choose your child's television programs carefully, and take the time to preview shows together. Talk about what you like about certain shows, and what gives you caution about the shows you do not care for." I'll take this a step further and say that you can and should watch shows with the little ones, especially once they get old enough to understand what the hell they are watching. For example, there's an episode of "The Brady Bunch" where Mike tells Carol, "If I caught one of my sons playing with a doll house, I'd send him to a psychiatrist." My mother was right there to point out the sexism of that line.

How important is the TV in your house? Any "strategies" for reducing screen time, or do you just shut the damn thing off?

image: Pegmurphy.com

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Boy Finds Xbox Porn; Cops Drop Everything

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:16:00 GMT

More than pornography popped up for a 14-year-old Utah boy when he tried to play Madden NFL 07 on his new Xbox 360 and instead discovered explicit images.

"This is definitely not Madden," he said, probably adding, "Huh huh, boobs."

Of course, his digital dalliance didn't end there. He told his parents. And they, in turn, told the cops. This is where the tale of a teenage boy's best. Christmas. present. ever. takes a horrible turn. According to an Associated Press article, the Utah Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force will investigate how the images made their way into the video game.

"The hard part (huh huh) is finding out who did it," said the task force lieutenant. "We'll give it a shot. I would go through the roof if this happened to my kid."

Really? The Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force doesn't have anything better to do? It's investigating how a 14-year-old boy discovered porn on his video game? I am totally moving to Utah.

Man Kills 17-Month-Old Daughter Because He Thought She Broke His Xbox

Dad Gone Mad — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:10:00 GMT

Some Einstein from Philly "allegedly" killed his 17-month-old daughter because he thought she had broken his precious Xbox. He was playing Ghost Recon, a violent combat game, which he will no doubt try to blame for motivating his despicable deed.

"She pulled the cord and the whole game console fell over," Tyrone Spellman said in a statement read by a homicide detective. "I thought it was broken. I popped her in the face. I picked her up and tossed her in a chair." Later that day - at 12:37 p.m. - Alayiah was pronounced dead at Temple University Hospital.

In his statement, Spellman said that after he tossed his daughter in a chair, he put her on a bed. He then went to tell the girl's mother, Mia Turman, who was eight months pregnant and sleeping in a different bedroom, that he was going to a store to get "something to smoke and something to eat."

According to an autopsy, Alayiah's skull was fractured to the point that a piece of bone had fallen out.