Strollerderby : abstinence only

Bristol Palin Campaigning for Abstinence Only

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:01:00 GMT

So much for Bristol Palin’s courageous admission to Fox News that abstinence-only is “just not realistic.” She is now the new “face of abstinence,” campaigning against teen pregnancy as the teen ambassador to Candie’s Foundation, which promotes abstinence for teenagers. And yes, Bristol is getting paid.

Interestingly, Candie’s Foundation not only wants to keep teens from having sex; it also wants them to buy some sexy footwear. That’s right, the name Candie’s may be most familiar to you as a shoe company that markets to teenagers. According to founder Neil Cole, "Just because you're wearing high-heeled sexy shoes doesn't mean you should have a baby.”

And here I was thinking that six-inch stilettos were the fashion equivalent of a stork! I feel so silly. Thanks for clarifying that for me, Mr. Cole. It’s very important for young girls to know that they can be sex objects AND crusaders against sex. (Just for fun, you might want to check out the site for Candie’s shoes, which features seductive images of a half-naked Britney Spears.)

In keeping with Candie’s Foundation’s commitment to contradictory preaching, Bristol told Good Morning America, "Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only ... 100 percent foolproof way to prevent pregnancy."

I’m sure that as long as Bristol keeps parroting abstinence-only talking points and Candie’s keeps selling stilettos to 15-year-olds, teen pregnancy will be wiped out in no time.

Photo: Ida Mae Astute/ABC

Levi Calls BS on Bristol's Abstinence-Only Message

Smackdown: Sex Before Twenty? Hopefully Not My Kids

Shannon LC Cate — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:59:00 GMT

I am not a believer in abstinence-only sex "education." I think chastity balls are unrealistic at best and creepy as all get out at worst. I have no interest in telling girls and women that having sex diminishes their value as a human being. It's pretty obvious that whatever complications sex may entail can be avoided by avoiding sex. One hardly needs a class in school to figure that one out. All I can assume then, is that these abstinence-only classes, virginity pledges and the like are really about moral judgement and shame.

Being against moral judgement and shame, I'm all for real sex education. I want my kids to know all there is to be known about sex and its consequences, about relationships and how to recognize a dangerous one and how to maintain a healthy one. I'd like my girls to know all of this information, file it in their brains and then not use it until they are out of their teens (like I did).

First of all, some may say this is a pipe dream, that teenagers do and will have sex. But actually, less than half (46%) of teens between 15 and 19 have had "sex" at least once. For nineteen year olds, the figure is still only 70%. That's a far cry from "everybody does it." And while I do believe every child should be prepared with the knowledge and healthcare access that assumes teen sexual activity, I hope my children don't choose to engage in serious sexual relationships (or, for that matter, fleeting ones) before they are at least 20, even with proper contraception at their fingertips.

Why? Because sexual relationships--especially first ones--tend to be highly energy consuming and emotionally draining. Sexual relationships assume (I am talking here only about voluntary sexual relationships) a serious investment of interest, time and concern in another human being--the sexual partner--and I'd like my girls to be a little more self-centered in their youth. I want my girls to have ample opportunity to explore who they are, what they love about themselves and about life before they get bogged down with Hollywood's version of love--a romantic, sexual relationship. I fear that too much time and energy spent on a sexual partner will rob them of time and energy they could be spending developing real knowledge of themselves; real love for themselves. And I think it's this kind of knowledge and love of self that can make for better relationships when they do happen.

In this day and age, in the socio-economic class my girls inhabit, people don't settle down until their mid-twenties or later. There is just no need for serious courtships and relationship practice in high school.

Girls and women learn fast enough that society values them most for what they can offer others. And while I want my girls to be generous, I want their generosity to flow from a full place within themselves, a place I'd like them to take some time to fill.

Pole Dancing Kits and Other Modern Toys

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Padded bras for first graders, bikini waxes for eight-year-olds, pole dancing kits sold alongside Etch-a-sketches in the toy store—excuse me, but how did this happen? How is it affecting girls' self-image? And, um, what happened to feminism? These are a few of the questions tackled in a recent Salon interview with M. Gigi Durham, author of “The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About it.”

As her book title would suggest, Durham places the burden of sexualizing girls at increasingly young ages squarely on the media’s shoulders. She argues that many companies are looking to exploit tweens’ increasingly significant contribution to the commercial sector by selling them traditional messages about femininity that the older generation of women has by and large rejected.

Interestingly, Durham connects the commercial sexualization of young girls with women’s inability to enjoy their sexuality later on. The abstinence-only sex education programs that have become increasingly prevalent in the Bush years combined with media’s message that “You must look like Barbie to be sexy” creates a very confusing, potentially dangerous backdrop against which young women come to understand their sexuality. Even as teen girls are encouraged to ignore their own sexuality, they’re told, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you don’t have it, spend a lot of money until you get it.”

Durham’s advice to parents? Discuss, but don’t censure. For instance, instead of forbidding your daughter to read Seventeen magazine, ask her what she thinks of that model’s look or that article about how to make boys like you. And she says that this dialogue about media propaganda should start, in modified form of course, as soon as your kids can talk. Anyone out there tried this method?

Photo: Girlshop.com

Abstinence-Only Sex Ed. Under Fire

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:59:00 GMT

Is it possible that the $113 million a year the Bush administration spends to finance abstinence-only sex ed. might be better spent elsewhere? It’s a shocker, I know, but a recent study in the Journal of Adolescent Health revealed that abstinence-only sex education does not stop teens from having sex: in fact, those who receive comprehensive education are 50 percent less likely to become pregnant than those who go through an abstinence-only program and are 60 percent less likely to become pregnant than those who receive no sex ed. Coming in the wake of a study that revealed that one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted infection, these findings have refueled the sex ed. debate in Washington, with 76 Democratic lawmakers urging the White House to stop funding abstinence-only programs.

One teenager’s online comment on ABC’s coverage of the study was revealing—and a bit disheartening. “What really needs to happen is getting the information out earlier,” she wrote. “We are all having sex younger then the previous generation and we like it. Stop telling us only the bad things about sex and start telling us everything.” While I agree completely with her call for comprehensive education about safe sex, this got me to thinking that the real responsibility for healthy teen sexuality lies with parents.

Sex is fun and teenagers are bound to discover this on their own. But it has emotional consequences that few teenagers are able to understand without the aid of caring adults they can trust. I still remember my mother telling me when I was in high school, “Everything changes when you have sex with someone. It’s a really emotional experience, no matter what.” I knew she would help me access contraceptives if I needed them, which made me take her message that sex was a big deal emotionally all the more seriously. These are the kind of messages that need to supplement health-based comprehensive sex education classes. Boys especially need to be taught the ethics of sexuality, since they are by far more likely to be aggressors. “Not everything that feels good is good” is not an intuitive truism for most adolescents.

What do you parents of teenagers think? Are there any methods for helping your children to postpone sex and to have healthy romantic relationships? When is an appropriate time to start discussing sex with your children?

Photo: dinahproject.com