Strollerderby : alcoholism

Depressed Dads More Likely to Have Depressed Kids

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 04 May 2009 23:20:00 GMT

Traditionally, research about the link between a caretaker’s and a child’s mental health has focused on mothers. But a team of researchers has officially shown that it ain’t just the womenfolk who screw up their kids.

University of Oxford researchers found that teenagers with depressed dads are more likely to be depressed themselves and to have suicidal thoughts. Kids whose fathers suffer from generalized anxiety disorder are twice as likely to have anxiety themselves. And paternal alcoholism is associated with a whole range of behavioral problems in children (particularly sons), including substance abuse, poor academic performance, and low self-esteem.

Having grown up with a father who struggles with depression, I find this study most important for its societal implications. Whether or not my own depression was imparted to me by my dad—either biologically or relationally—my father is the person who has helped me the most when I’m going through a depressive episode because he understands exactly what I’m experiencing and he’s committed to helping me through it.

But my father’s willingness to openly discuss personal problems is rare among men. As researchers point out, men are more reticent than women to seek help in managing mental health problems. I suspect that this reticence could have a greater effect on children than a father’s mental state, particularly for sons who are taught to adopt a “tough guy” mentality for dealing with emotional difficulties.

Photo: BBC

Drinking While Pregnant: Is Any Amount Okay?

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:01:00 GMT

As Miriam posted about earlier this week, a few new studies have come out that some are using to argue, again, that ANY amount of alcohol during pregnancy is dangerous for the unborn -- even though the studies themselves say no such thing. Now Amy Graff at SFGate's Mommy Files reports on the ongoing controversy, quoting doctors and mothers who differ with the most stringent "no drinking" line, and exploring what the studies really say.

My favorite quote quote is from the doctor who says:

"If you're at a dinner party and someone pours a 1978 Bordeaux, I say go ahead and try it. Most healthy pregnant women lose their taste for alcohol, especially in early pregnancy when alcohol is known to exert its greatest effects, so they're only going to be having a sip here and there anyway."

The problem, as so many have pointed out, is that the vast majority of the research data focus on women who drink heavily during pregnancy, or binge drink. It's no surprise that their babies are at high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, nor is it really any surprise that the public health message -- aided by an often hysterical media -- compresses all alcohol use into this baby-damaging paradigm. But is there any science out there that tells us what really happens when a pregnant woman drinks very occasionally? And how do we square the dangers of FAS with the example of all those gorgeous French children whose mothers drank a moderate amount of (excellent) wine while gestating?

The SFGate piece links to three studies, all of which seem to provide some evidence of some effect -- whether on size or behavior -- of the children of women who drank lightly in pregnancy. Public health folks continue to deliver the message that there is no known safe amount, although most doctors will contradict that (mine advised me to have a glass or two of wine following the amnio, and then said, when I visited France in my six month, that he certainly hoped I would have some wine). With one woman in twelve reporting that she drank at least a little alcohol during pregnancy, the confusion will likely continue, leaving individual mothers to asses their own risk level.

So how about it? Did you lift a glass while pregnant? Did you feel guilty or worried, or do you think the health message is overstated?

More by this author:

Boomer Grandmothers: Out Of Control?

Move Over, Booties! Here Come Knitted Boobies

Think Your Baby's Car Seat Is Safe? Think Again

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

Should You Drink for the Kids?

Shannon LC Cate — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:02:00 GMT

Last week, New York Times blogger Paul Clarke suggested that drinking in moderation is a good parenting tactic, as it gives children an example of how to--and how not to--drink themselves, when the day arrives. The theory goes that extremes in either direction--bingeing on alcohol or shunning it completely--will give kids an unrealistic and unhealthy attitude towards alcohol. The author explains that in his own early drinking days, it was the teens with T-totalling parents who had the worst drinking habits.

I suppose it's a relatively plausible notion. My own parents, raised themselves by T-totallers, drank in moderation around their children. I guess I turned out okay. And now my partner and I are moderate drinkers, if the definition of "moderate" can include sharing a glass of wine about 3 times a year. By Clarke's definition, we probably aren't drinking enough to give our kids the right attitude towards alcohol.

Then again, I don't know if I think it matters--outside the extremes of telling children all alcohol is evil, and being an alcoholic--how much a parent drinks. Every child is going to have their own relationship to this "forbidden" activity as they get old enough to make decisions about it on their own. It will depend on their peer relationships, their chosen social activities, any number of unpredictable factors, including, perhaps genetic makeup, how any individual approaches alcohol.

Back in my teen days, while I was not having sex, I was also not drinking. And my no-sex-having best friends weren't really drinking either. There was no grand design to any of this. We weren't part of any program or club or religious group. We just had other things to do and placed a lot of value on our brains. We also found ridiculous some of our peers' notions that drinking something you don't even like until you don't know what you're doing and then can't remember it the next day was "fun" or defined "party."

I guess I was a geek and I still am. But I am no more convinced that binge drinking is a natural part of adolescence than I am that sex is. (Witness cultures that have different attitudes towards alcohol--mostly looser ones--and their lack of a youth drinking problem.) I wish I did know how to program my children to share this attitude, but I simply don't. Meanwhile, my partner and I will continue to control our drinking based on our own preferences and good sense and let our daughters know they should do the same when they are of age. Hopefully they will choose wisely.

What are you doing on the alcohol front? Do you think there's any way parents can sway kids' future choices about drinking?

For other weird things I think, see:

Y Chromosome Does Not Equal "Child Abuser"

Let's Help the Quintuplet Mom from Sudan

Name Your Baby Whatever You Want, For Heaven's Sake!

There's No Such Thing As "Compulsive Caregiver Syndrome"

Teens Don't Need to Have Serious Romantic Relationships

image: blog.larrybodine.com

Do You Have a Drinking Problem? Talk To the Kids' Doc.

JeanneSager — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:33:00 GMT

If your kid’s doctor asked you how much you drink would you tell her? According to a new study, most parents would. What’s more, they’d be more likely to tell a pediatrician if they feel they’ve got a problem.

The study in this month’s issue of the Journal of Pediatrics shows three quarters of parents with an admitted alcohol abuse problem said they would be willing to answer questions and take guidance from their child’s doctors. The same goes for three quarters of parents who reported they don’t have any substance abuse issues – they’re willing to let the pediatrician ask the questions.

Alcohol abuse is rarely a personal problem. Although you might be the only one drinking your liver into a pickled state, the affects extend to the children who watch you pass out night after night on the couch and the spouse who watches a chunk of the household funds being drank away. I can certainly see how it would qualify as a family health issue.

But there are parents who say they’re afraid their pediatrician wouldn’t be able to discern the difference between a social or occasional drink and alcoholism. To them I say: why do you have your child being evaluated by this person? If they don’t have the acumen to tell the difference, perhaps they’re overstepping their bounds with your child’s diagnoses as well.

Then again, what’s that AA saying? “Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery?” If you can’t do it for your kids, who will you do it for?

Image: DeClubz

They Say: Kids Like To Eat Vegetables. I Still Don't Believe Them

Baby Boy Developed in Mom's Intestine Delivered Via Cesarean

Renting Drug Dogs to Search Your Kid's Room: Over the Top or Not?

They say: Drinking with your kids makes them less drunk

Brett Singer — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Now we've all gotten drunk. Fall down, sloppy, mess-making drunk. My first bad drinking experience involved vodka, straight up, in a garage during a thunderstorm. It ended badly. I had a couple of others, but not too many that included me puking my guts out. But it happens.

According to this article from Time magazine, it might happen less if you drink with your kids. But that's illegal, you say. The drinking age is 21. Well, yes, but not exactly. According to Time, "When Congress passed the National Minimum Drinking Age Act in 1984, it explicitly allowed kids to drink at home or in 'private clubs or establishments.' Similarly, under most state laws, it's legal for those under 21 to consume alcohol under certain conditions. Only six states, mostly rural ones, ban underage alcohol consumption completely."

This "have a drink with your kids" thing isn't a new idea. A recent Babble Bad Parent essay by Gretchen Roberts titled Booze Clues talks about the idea of making alcohol something commonplace rather than this big taboo thing, which only makes it more interesting. The Time Magazine article backs up this notion, quoting a paper from the 2004 Journal of Adolescent Health as saying, "Drinking with parents appears to have a protective effect on general drinking trends."

The problem, of course, is when "not uptight about alcohol" translates into "letting the kids get wasted in the basement with their friends." Drinking a glass of wine with dinner is very different from getting drunk. When I sat in that garage, swilling vodka straight from the bottle, it was partly about the alcohol but also partly about being young and stupid. (I'm not condoning it or calling it a "right of passage", nor am I saying it was a sin worthy of caning. Just being honest.) Drinking until you, ahem, hurl, is something that you should only do when you're young and stupid. The other time I got sick from drinking was in college and again, I drank too much and I paid the price. There were other people that I went to school with who got that wasted on a regular basis.

So should you drink with your kids? I don't know. Personally, I don't think kids need wine any more than they need soda. That doesn't mean that we present alcohol (or soda) as something off-limits and exciting. Neither is a particularly big deal in our house, and different people have different rules. As with so many things, behavior that a reasonable person can handle (letting kids have a sip of wine every now and then) can become something else entirely in the hands of an irresponsible moron (hosting a kegger at home.)

Do you think that letting your kids in on the drinking at home will make them more or less likely to overdo it with liquor someday?

image: Addiction Inbox

They Say: Limit Kids Screen Time

Substitute teacher shows up drunk

Baby Born Drunk

Child Gets Drunk Off Hand Sanitizer

Drunk Mom Lets One-Year-Old Drive

Mommy Got Drunk - Jordan Embarrasses Her Husband

Christina Aguilera Slightly Drunk?

Dad's Monkey is Mom's Monkey, Too

Adrienne Martini — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMT

In theory, kicking your substance of choice -- whether that is booze, smokes or something more illegal -- should be a piece of cake. Just stop doing it, right? The reality of quitting is a completely different beastie. But cleaning up is even more important when there is a small person in the works.

Moms have a biological reason to stop smoking/drinking/etc when the bun is in the oven and are often able to use that as a tool to quit. Dads, however, seem to get a free pass. A new study out of the University of Washington indicates that dad's habits have a huge impact on mom's behavior, too.

Researchers studied a group of young (21-24 year old) parents. Almost all of those new moms who quit while pregnant were back at the bar and/or bong two years later. Dads didn't appear to cut back their use at all, which created a household environment that made it nearly impossible for mom to stay sober.

Perhaps it may be time, as the Seattle Post-Intelligencer Editorial Board suggests, to stop giving dads a free pass. Or, at least, to realize that they contribute something other than sperm to a growing child.

Pregnant Woman Attacks Bartender

Kelly Mills — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:34:00 GMT

This is a super extreme case, and I'm totally not justifying this woman's actions at all, so make no mistake about that. I don't think anyone would recommend drinking in pregnancy to the point where the bartender cuts you off, or getting violent and seriously hurting someone as a solution, so what happened here is totally not right. But when I read the story, I couldn't help but think about how people are always giving you dirty looks for drinking coffee or tsk-tsking about what you do when you are pregnant, and how the hormonal rage makes your eyes cross, and so on...

Anyhow, a bartender refused to give a pregnant woman another drink because she'd had enough already, and when the woman sassed back, the bartender told her she wasn't supposed to be drinking anyway. The woman flew into a rage and smashed a bottle over the bartender's ear, then smashed a glass on her head and tried to climb over the bar to attack her and had to be restrained by another person. The bartender had to go to the hospital for serious injuries. So if you think you overreacted when you growled at the Starbucks barrista who refused to serve you your morning latte, hey, there's worse.

Drinking In Youth Won't Just Break Your Mama's Heart

Kelly Mills — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 13:02:00 GMT

I think it is just plain messed up when any teen wild oat sowing has repercussions later in life. I mean, how can adolescents really appreciate that current behavior might lead to problems when they are fifty? I'm still stunned I managed to fill out my college applications and send them in, I was so short-sighted. Well, it turns out that being a lush when you are a youngster makes you more at risk for certain problems, and not just being branded "the Beer Bong Queen" by your cohort and having the name stick with you at your high school reunion.

Researchers interviewed 2,818 people (in scientific terms we call that "a good honkin' sample") about their drinking histories and other lifestyle stuff like smoking and exercise. They found that people either tended to drink heavily in their youth, and then taper off in middle-age; or drink moderately throughout their lives. (Note that none of my roommates was ever on the latter trajectory.) Those who partied hardy were a third more likely to have metabolic syndrome, which is a grouping of risk factors for heart disease that includes abdominal obesity, low good cholesterol, high blood pressure, and other stuff. In other words, young drunkery might mean heart problems later. So you know, kids, don't do drugs.

Weekly Check-Up: Did Your Family History Give You Second Thoughts About a Family?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:34:00 GMT

Last week I was in a dressing room, and I overheard the salesperson in the next room talking to a customer. (What? No, I wasn't spying, they were talking loud and I was trying to distract myself from the fiasco that is trying on bras.) The salesperson was talking about her grown daughter, who struggled with drug addiction. "After she went into rehab I learned it can be genetic and skip generations," she told the other woman. "My mom was an alcoholic, but I'm not. If I had known about the genetics I never would have had children." "Oh, you don't mean that," clucked the woman. "Oh yes I do." said the salesperson firmly.

I've been thinking about this ever since. Nowadays the nature versus nurture debate has morphed into something that recognizes the two factors--genes and environment--are utterly intertwined. And this issue hit home because, well, in addition to wide feet and fine hair, alcoholism and about 17 different mental illnesses (depression is the biggie) run in my family. Oh, and alcoholism and depression also run in my husband's family. That's a mean genetic cocktail.

I thought about this before I got pregnant, but obviously it didn't deter me, perhaps because I've managed my own manifestations of these things. But it worries me for my child. Often.

So now I'm wondering if anyone else paused before procreating because of what they could pass on, and how people manage the concern once the die has been cast.

Alcoholism Causes Shame, Even If It's Not Caught On Tape

Melissa Summers — Sun, 13 May 2007 22:13:00 GMT

We've talked about David Hasslehoff's massive and very public relapse a few times. I haven't written about it because I grew up with an alcoholic father and while my father didn't eat a very messy hamburger when he was drunk, a video of him at his worst would have been pretty humiliating.

Jim Dawson, recovering alcoholic, says the same is true for him and his kids. In this article he says he admires Hasslehoff's daughter for having the presence of mind to tape her father's behavior and hopes the humiliation will get him back on the wagon quickly. Dawson's own daughter said her father was mostly funny while drunk but not when he was angry.

Dawson talks about the shame having an alcoholic parent causes kids, noting that his children wouldn't bring home friends because they could never be sure how their father would behave. He said his kids lost all respect for him and he became a joke in their eyes. He also says he set a horrible example for them by drinking to the point of blacking out.

At StrollerDerby, we're fans of the cocktail, but not so much a fan of alcoholism and this article is a nice reminder of the difference.

David Hasselhoff is Blocked from Seeing his Children

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Fri, 11 May 2007 11:31:00 GMT

Poor David Hasslehoff. Sort of. Right now he can only contact his children by phone. That makes me sad. That being said, it is kind of his fault. This is all a byproduct of the video of him wasted on his livingroom floor. Remember that one?

I do feel bad for The Hoff. I mean - he has a legitimate dependency. He has a disease. Now he can't see his children.

But I guess I feel worse for his kids. They shouldn't have to be exposed to that kind of thing.

The judge ordered the Hasselhoffs and the ex (Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff) to meet with a psychologist before their hearing in a couple of weeks. I hope they are able to work everything out for the kids sake. Well, and because it is way more fun to make fun of David Hasselhoff than it is to feel sorry for him.

David Hasslehoff has Relapse: Puts Kids in Awkward Situation

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Sun, 06 May 2007 14:43:00 GMT

A video of a drunk and slurring David Hasselhoff has been leaked to the internet and television. It really isn't that unusual to see a video of a wasted celebrity, but Hasselhoff is a recovering alcoholic. It really isn't unusual for someone in recovery to have a relapse, but this one was in front of his kid.

In the video you can hear one of his daughters asking him why he gets so drunk. His answer is "lonely". I feel terrible that his child was put in that situation. No one likes to see their parents sloppy drunk.

That being said, he has an addiction and I understand that. I understand relapses. I know that a person doesn't become perfect just because they have a baby. Parenting is tough. Alcoholism is rough. David Hasselhoff was in the middle of an ugly divorce and that can be awful. I'd imagine it is taxing being "The Hoff" all of the time.

But still, I feel bad for his daughter. She was only filming him to show him how he acts when he is drunk, and not only did she have to witness it first-hand, now she knows her tape was leaked to the media. Poor kid.