Strollerderby : arguing

Defusing the Conservative Family Members

Amy Kuras — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go…and for some of us, that means venturing into somewhat hostile territory if your family’s political leanings are the opposite of yours.

Around my Thanksgiving table will be my conservative dad and sister-in-law, with whom, thankfully, I have enough in common with outside of politics that the discussion need never stray there, my centrist mom, and on the liberal team is my husband, brother and me. We’re all fans of a good debate, however, so it’s likely politics might come up.

Sara Robinson of Blog For Our Future (via Alternet) has ten ways to counter the most common myths conservatives believe about, as she calls us, progressives. For example: Liberals are a bunch of elitists who hate decent working class Americans. Robinson’s response?

“…as opposed to those sainted corporate men-of-the-people who fly around in private jets and pull down eight-figure salaries while closing plants and cutting 10,000 jobs at a time. That's what real populism looks like, you betcha.”

And of course, there is the family-values argument – which, given the fact you’re sitting there eating turkey with someone whose worldview makes you want to weep, kind of doesn’t make sense because why would you subject yourself to such a thing if you didn’t value family? And as Robinson points out, what that really is about is a fundamental difference in what constitutes a “real” family.

Real, imaginary, chosen or blood, enjoy your families as much as you can tomorrow. Worst-case scenario, it’s only for a few hours.

Dad arrested for leaving son at McDonald's

Brett Singer — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMT

See if you can follow this: Dave Lieber, a columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, got into an argument with his 11 year old son over breakfast at McDonald's (perhaps the boy ate his McGriddle?). Lieber got so angry with the boy that he drove away, leaving him in the parking lot, which was "a few blocks" from their home. He then thought better of it and came back to pick him up a few minutes later, only to find that the police had been called. No charges were filed, and Lieber wrote about the incident in his August 15th column. He acknowledged that he had "made a stupid and quite serious mistake…I could have exposed my son to grave danger. I do know that. But in the moment of anger, I didn’t think clearly." He called The Parenting Center in Fort Worth, a nonprofit that offers counseling to local families. They gave him some good advice in case this situation ever happens again, like "don't take it personally when fighting with your child," that sort of thing.

HOWEVER, two weeks later, after "additional investigation", he was arrested on charges of "child abandonment with intent to return and child abandonment/endangering a child." Lieber is free on relatively modest $4,000 bail, but is still charged with two felonies.

There's an interesting line in his August 15th column: "back in the 1960s, if my parents had told me to 'walk home by yourself' when I misbehaved, no one would have thought twice…But what flew years ago doesn’t fly today."

I can't imagine doing something like this, and only partly because we don't eat at McDonald's. The felony charges seem extreme, however. When I was 11, I could walk to the store to buy comic books (and other things), and I lived in the Bronx. Isn't this the same thing? Or should intent –Lieber left his son in the parking lot out of anger – be a factor? Has anyone out there ever had an experience like this?

(Note: the image is from Dave Lieber's website, YankeeCowboy.com. That's a picture of him.)

Sources: Statesman.com, Star-Telegram

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Who's Afraid of the Mommy Wars?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:49:00 GMT

Had enough of the mommy wars? Despite the fact that many of us claim to be all done with the slings and arrows, there is no way around the fact that motherhood is incendiary. Newsweek's article "Enough with the Mommy Wars" is case in point.

Mojo Mom takes author Kathleen Deveny to task for neglecting the deeper issues and sticking to the shallow end of mom-theory typified by mommy lit lite. Expecting Executive demands an apology and encourages Newsweek to turn to better sources for the real story on motherhood, including BlogHer. Last week, Kelly wondered if we've become narcissist mommies.

But really, what is the big deal? Ms. Deveny commits heresy by claiming she's bored to death of the mommy wars and the snobbiness on message boards ( the Internet makes mommy mean) as well as the tiresome taxonomy of motherhood represented by mom lit (rocker mamas, MILFs, momzillas, slummy mummies...). I say go ahead and be bored and oversimplify as much as you like. Write about how dull it all is in Times, Newsweek and the New York Times. You're missing the point.

That the Mommy Wars exist primarily online and in print doesn't mean they aren't real. They provide a safer (and less confrontational) outlet for people to yell about childrearing. Just take a look over at the comments generated on Babble by the hospital formula ban and one easily sees what all the fuss is about.

These debates serve a real useful purpose. They help us parent better. They help us articulate and define our positions. They help us understand different approaches and viewpoints more effectively. And yes, they are also silly and catty and petty. But the Mommy Wars are also empowering and enlightening. And that is why I hope they continue for a long long time.