Strollerderby : baby daddy

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Kate Winslet Looks Good Naked

Tripp Johnston Speaks Out: Take My Family, Please.

Is Jennifer Garner in Labor?

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony: It's Over

Josh & Anna Duggar: Premarital Sex

Charles Barkley - DUI, Gun and Oral Sex: Still Not a Role Model?

Public Sex and New Year's Orgasms with Jordan and Peter

Snow, Fur And Sarah Palin In A Bikini

Ani DiFranco Has a Trick Baby

Mariah Carey Eats Oysters, Therefore is Not Pregnant

When Baby Daddies Attack

Heath Ledger is Haunting Michelle for Closure

Clay Aiken ain't no fruit

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Far be it from me to imply that Clay Aiken is anything less than muy macho. But, you know, there have been those nasty rumors, which led to threats of a lawsuit from his devoted fan base, who are known as the Claymates. (Really. They call themselves Claymates, and one of them tried to sue Clay over rumors that he was homosexual. Don't you feel normal now?) So perhaps -- and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, you know -- Clay's recent actions are fueled by a desire to "butch it up, Mary" as the saying goes.

First: he impregnates a woman. This is a clear sign of masculinity. I mean, try doing that if you're... you know, not manly. Well, it was artificial insemination, which means there was no actual physical contact. But hey, there's nothing wrong with that either. (Even if Aiken isn't the father, he could have been. Hey! Stop laughing!)

Second: when a ~~vulture~~ cameraperson from ~~the fiery pits of Hell~~ TMZ confronted him on the street, he pulled a Sean Penn and whacked the camera. In a very aggressive, manly way. Again, nothing wrong with that. (Video of the incident is below, or click here.)

One thing that I've always found interesting is what constitutes "manliness." Impregnating a woman means that your sperm is, you know, spermy. Strong swimmers, etc. But so what?

And punching someone, even if that someone is ~~being a dick~~ just doing their jobs, is more out of control than it is "macho." To be fair, Clay just kinda pushed the guy; more specifically, he pushed the camera. If he had ripped the dude's arms off and beaten him within an inch of his life, that would have been much more manly. (Not that we advocate such behavior. But it would definitely have been big news.)

So maybe it's possible that all of this "news" just happens to be coming out (no pun intended) around the time that Mr. Aiken has a new album out. Just a thought.

In closing, let me request that the phrase "Claby" (Clay + Baby) never, ever catch on. It's just... there is something wrong with that.

(TMZ.com screenshot)

other image: offoffBway.com

Breaking News: Clay may not be the father

All Aiken, All the Time

American Idol or American Psycho? Clay Aiken Gives Pap a SMACKDOWN!

Fans Show Support For Clay Aiken

Clay Aiken Involved in Pregnancy

Breaking News: Clay Aiken might not be the father

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Could the whole "Clay Aiken can impregnate a woman without even touching her" news be a big fat stinkin' lie? The Calgary Herald is reporting that "several people close to" babymama Jaymes Foster are denying claims (clayms? Nope, not going there) that Aiken is the daddy.

~~One Of The Signs Of The Apocalypse~~ TMZ first reported that Aiken had artificially inseminated Foster, the sister of record producer David Foster, going on to say that, "Clay is a lot more than sperm -- we're told he will have an active role in raising the child." The story was picked up by roughly 12 million media outlets. BUT one of the so-called sources is denying that he ever said Clay was the daddy-to-be, even asking People.com to retract their story. And B.J. Cook, David Foster's ex-wife and Jaymes Foster's ex-sister-in-law said, "Jaymes is definitely pregnant, that much is true...I can guarantee that it's not Clay Aiken's baby." (emphasis added.)

Of course, no one directly involved is talking to the press, including Clay, who is very busy punching cameras.

It must be pointed out that we have no knowledge of this incident, or alleged incident. Maybe Clay is on his way to fatherhood. Maybe not. Who the hell knows? Clearly this is the most important story of the decade. Well, other than the Sex and the City movie. (Election? What election?)

Aside #1: Foster went from "in her late 40's" to "50" in a matter of days -- I guess it is stressful being in the public eye. Here's a photo of the happy non-couple.

Aside #2: Even if this whole thing turns out to be bull, at least we'll always have the phrase "Clay is a lot more than sperm." Thank you ~~Satan~~ TMZ.

images: thehollywoodgossip.com, offoffBway.com

All Aiken, All the Time

American Idol or American Psycho? Clay Aiken Gives Pap a SMACKDOWN!

Fans Show Support For Clay Aiken

Clay Aiken Involved in Pregnancy

And some other news, in case you're curious:

Immigrant Gay Folks Face New Challenges

Political Nanny: Rules, Schmules, Numbers, Schmumbers

Mom Fights Church on Behalf of Autistic Son

Autistic boy voted out of kindergarten by classmates

Best of FameCrawler: Week of April 18

Whit Honea — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:00:00 GMT

CONFIRMED: Ashlee Simpson is Pregnant

Nicolette Sheridan Pregnant At 70!

Rob Lowe's Former Nanny Speaks Out

David Beckham Really Likes Miller Lite and/or Ass

Minnie Driver's Baby Daddy: Revealed!

George Clooney Hates Kids. Yes, Yours Too.

Ashlee Simpson, Pregnant and Happy(?)

Jennifer Aniston Names Her Son?

Tom & Katie Split, Fighting For Suri

Ashlee Simpson's Baby Bump! Sort Of.

Home Paternity Tests

Cole Gamble — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:00:00 GMT

We’ve all seen this moment before: a young woman sits on the stage of a daytime talk show awaiting paternity results. To her side is her pasty, pimply, wife-beater wearing, backwards trucker hat sporting boyfriend who’s a little bit country by way of Detroit. All show long this woman has insisted the boyfriend is the father of her unborn child while the would-be-dad has parried each argument with a firm “NUH-UH!” Finally the moment comes, an envelope is opened and the smirking host says “Little Jizzy you are…NOT the father.” The man-boy leaps to his feet, shouts “In Yo Face!” to the defeated woman to his left and proceeds to perform a victory dance comprised off popping and locking, flexing his guns and a jig--all while the audience boos. “Can’t touch this!” he yells to the admonishing crowd. Then he busts out the Running Man. The mother, really more of a girl than a woman, sinks into her seat as the depth of her loneliness becomes fully realized on national television.

Well now you can have this fun at home! A company called Identigene sells a home paternity test, or The Maury Povich Show Home Game. Reenact some of your favorites scenes of utter degradation. Backwards hat wearing hillbilly suitor not included. You can even buy a home paternity test at your local Rite Aid next time you go to buy condoms, because nothing gets you in the mood like discovering you ain’t the baby daddy.

Am I late to the party in knowing that these exist?

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

Adrienne Martini — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:30:00 GMT

As much as some Baby Daddy bloggers want to turn the whole child development milestone hoo-ha into a grudge match, Dr. Lawrence Kutner advises all parents to just take a big step away from the charts. It turns out that where your kid falls on any curve is mostly irrelevant and has little influence on the type of human being they grow into.

For those who are spoiling for a fight, this advice is hard to take. I mean, if parents can't get all up in your grill about Susie talking in complete sentences at 6 months old or Jimmy solving cold fusion on his second birthday, what do we have to talk about? How delightfully average our kids are? How thrilled we are that our six-year old doofus has finally stopped shoving peas up his nose? Puh-lease.

But as this essay by the 'derby's own Madeline Holler points out, there's nothing wrong with a kidlet not excelling, despite how much it might irk parents who are really just really to do everything right. We are all desperate for outside validation of our parenting skillz. But sticking to the charts may not be the most reliable choice, even though charts appeal to our need for an orderly and predictable outcome. Or, as Dr. Kutner explains, there's "a false belief in the precision of anything associated with numbers."

And rest assured, those who are about to leap to Almond's defense -- I tease because I love.

Babble Talk: My Baby, My Girlfriend

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 22:06:00 GMT

There is possibly nothing better in the world than baby love. To me, that heart-swelling, smile-inducing, swooning, Technicolor feeling that a baby stirs up in its mama and papa is just like falling head over heels in love. It hits hard and, pardon me, but it is nearly impossible to describe or understand completely if you are not the parent or primary caregiver of a wee one.

While your playgroup or poker pals might roll their eyes when you pronounce how freaking adorable your baby girl's gas face is or ask if your baby boy's pinchable cheeks (any of the four) are the cutest thing they've ever seen, too, we all know that they are feeling just as in love with their kids. Being baby smitten, in my mind, is the glorious reason we forget how many hours we labored and how much we hate baby shower games. It is why we begrudgingly discipline our toddlers and what gets us (knock wood) through teenage angst, car borrowing and hair-dying.

Steve Almond's latest post, My Baby, My Girlfriend, on his Babble blog Baby Daddy is an unapologetic, unabashed love letter to his daughter Josie's heart-crushing smiles, mad giggles and nibble-able tushie. Andin the midst of his wife's teasing about Josie being his "new girfriend," poopiness and all, this is a love-letter I think all of should read, will get and will be happy to remember if our child is past the cooing and into the crayon-on-the-walling. Put down the sponge and 409 and go, read, join in on the love fest.

Napoleon Dynamite Dude Gives Birth!

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 23 May 2007 13:55:00 GMT

Napoleon Dynamite gave birth! OK, OK, fine, the actor who played Napoleon Dynamite gave birth. Well, his wife did anyway. But it's not like she starred in only the, like, most killer movie ever.

Though the date of Evan Jane Heder's birth was not revealed, the parents reported the kid is doing just fine and is already enrolled in a sweet cage fighting program -- when she's not busy chatting with chicks on the Internet. All day.

So kudos to Jon Heder and wife, Kirsten, who will find out soon that, like chickens, babies have large talons.

The Donald Finally Creates World's. Greatest. Grandkid.

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 14 May 2007 13:01:00 GMT

All grandparents love their grandkids, it's true. Each is a gift from (insert diety here) sent down just to please the elderly. (Not you, mom.) And each grandparent, of course, thinks his or her grandchild is the most perfect. baby. ever.

Finally, after all these years, one grandparent can truly make that claim -- because that's just what little Donald Trump III is: perfect. "Excellent. Astounding. A real quality product."

OK, OK, so The Donald didn't say that about his first grandkid -- Kai Madison, who was born on Sunday -- but I wouldn't put it past him. "What an adorable little girl, a real quality product with leadership potential. Now clean your room or you're fired!" Lucky, lucky girl.

Strollerderby Playdate: Blogs You Should Be Reading

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 11:01:00 GMT

"Happy" Monday. I know, so grab a cup of coffee and tell the kids you need some "time to wake up." We're about to introduce you to five bloggers you should be reading, and if the next time you look up at the clock it's lunch time...oh well!

Baby Daddy is writing a blog for and about his yet-to-be-born babe. And his wife doesn't know it.
If you love mod design, mod products, and mod gear, you need to read Mod*Mom. She has an eye like no other.
So honest. So raw. So full of love for his family. If only all dads could be African American Dad.
One of the most beautiful souls in the blogosphere has to be Mom on a Wire. Go read her now. "Naked" blogging at its finest.
For the inner cowpoke in all of us (okay, not me, but I love this blog anyway) you must read the highly addictive Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Her man is hawt, her photos are amazing, and her cooking will make you drool all over yourself. This is the first blog I read everyday.