Granny Manual: 8 Things Grandma Needs to Know About Babies

Madeline Holler — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:01:00 GMT

I remember my first visit as a mother to the in-law's family compound. I was the only breastfeeder for generations and generations and not at all sure how that would pan out among a crowd that thinks the more time a baby is away from Mama the better. Our newborn napped on a bed; they only knew from bassinets and playpens. We didn't use pacifiers. We were careless about socks. I wasn't the first of my husband's siblings to bring them a grandchild. But I was the first one to be doing everything right. (Settle down, that's a joke.)

During that visit, it was finally my baby's great-grandmother's turn to change a diaper -- such a demand, I should have drafted a sign-up sheet -- and I overheard my mother-in-law stage-whispering, "No powder! They're not using powder!"

"But rashes! What about rashes," the elder wanted to know. Silence. I knew they were exchanging raised eyebrows, shrugged shoulders, and deep, deep doubt about the wisdom of unpowdered babies.

Powder isn't such a bad thing, but what I'm trying to illustrate is that things change. I'm sure you've gone a round or two with the prior generation, perhaps even with your own mother, about what you do differently as a parent. Poor grandma (and super poor grandpa! He's actually expected to participate this time!). What they need is a manual of things they should know about babies.

Let's whip one up for them. Feel free to add your own, but I'll start with these eight:

1. Breastmilk has it all, so don't refer to formula (or rice cereal, or strained peas) as "real food."

2. Two-week-olds who don't eat solids aren't starving.

3. Picking up a crying child won't spoil it. Rather, there's a good chance it'll shut him/her up (everybody's real goal, right?)

4. No, the baby won't fall out of the sling.

5. We know you didn't always use expensive, fancy, confusing restraint systems when we were babies, but cars back then were made out of steel, had lots of upholstery and, well, I'm the Mom. Sorry.

6. She'll be fine without a hat/sweater/blanket/stiff and outdated leather corrective shoes!

7. Not everything is related to tummy aches and gas.

8. I know you raised three kids without killing any of them, but let's not push your luck with mine.

Your turn.

Photo: Theyreourchildren.com

Another Use for Baby Powder You Probably Hadn't Thought Of

Karen Murphy — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:34:00 GMT

I hate baby powder. I hate the way it smells, I hate its...powderiness. I hate it. But did you know it has uses beyond keeping baby butts dry and, uh, powdery?

I know, I know, I can't think of much else either. But this New Mexico woman did: to escape from jail, she piled on six pairs of socks under her leg irons, lubed up her ankles and wrists with cocoa butter, then threw baby powder in to the face of the guard to make her escape.

Creative, wasn't she? You have to hand it to her.

Too bad she only made it about two feet before she was captured.

Strollerderby : baby powder

Granny Manual: 8 Things Grandma Needs to Know About Babies

Another Use for Baby Powder You Probably Hadn't Thought Of