Strollerderby : bad behavior

When Toddlers Attack The Neighbors

Brett Singer — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

It's one thing when your kids mess up your house. It's quite another when they destroy someone else's.

And when they get into the neighbors' house? Look out.

John and Matthew Farrer, ages 2 and 3, are brothers. In crime. The pair of toddlers "wandered away from their home on Friday morning," and while their parents and 100 emergency workers searched high and low, they were having a blast next door at Angie Lovorn's house.

What did the little scamps? Ate some Teddy Grahams and marshmallows. Played with stuffed animals. Oh, and trashed the kitchen.

Ms. Lovorn had worked a late shift, and was asleep while the boys did some damage. She eventually woke up, "just as searchers finally saw the boys leaving through a back door, one wearing her son's Clemson University football helmet," according to ParentDish. That's a great image. Very "Home Alone."

This goes to the theory, espoused by the parent of a childhood friend, that boys should be released into the woods until they're 18. (Obviously girls could have done the same thing. It's just funnier that it was boys.)

As for the boys getting out, this is why I lock my door. I don't need my children running amok outside my sphere of influence.

Image: wyff4.com

Source: ParentDish

Test Drive a Car for Mom - Fight Breast Cancer

Parents Need To Eat, Too -- Right?

Leap on Over to the Baby Jumping Festival

10 Year Old Author Alec Greven Is Back

Japanese Potty Training Video

Does Your Pediatrician Hate Your Kid?

Amy Kuras — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Admit it, you’ve wondered – what does the pediatrician say about your kid when you’re not around? Is he or she a “thank God, this will be easy” kid or is there a “demon child” note somewhere in your kid’s file?

Even though the time they spend with you and your kids might be somewhat short, pediatricians form opinions about the manners, or lack thereof, that their little patients exhibit. Perri Klass, a well-known pediatrician and writer, says in this New York Times column: “I don’t describe my patients as rude or polite in the medical record. But I do pass judgment, and so does every pediatrician I know.”

Those discussions your pediatrician has with you about setting limits, or your child’s social skills, are coded conversations about manners. It is possible to teach social skills, and the lack of them makes life a lot more difficult for people. We all know those kids –or those adults – who just don’t get it and they all seem to have a tougher time in school or at work.

Essentially, little children are completely self-involved creatures, and it’s our job as parents to teach them to be polite — to make them understand that just like them, other people have feelings. It’s probably, I think, one of the hardest challenges of parenting, but one of our more important jobs. And getting this from the pediatrician’s perspective is really interesting.

Parents Say: Don't Reward My Kid

JeanneSager — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:03:00 GMT

A set of parents at a small elementary school in Canada are righteously indignant this week. They say the school is . . . rewarding their kids for good behavior. Ooooh, I'm going to tell.

Of course there's more to the story. The kids are being issued an index card on a string that they sling around their neck. When they're caught "being good," they earn a punch on their card. Get enough punches, and they earn a reward - like attendance at today's school-wide Halloween party. To keep kids from being singled out as goody two shoes, the school has set up the cards so they're hidden in a pouch on each kid's neck.

So what's the big deal? Parents of seven "boycotting kids" say it puts too much focus on rewards, and it's stressing out their kids. The kids are getting competitive, to see who can have the most hole punches. When they get home, they're expecting their parents to reward them for the simple things, like cleaning their rooms. Parents say the focus should simply be on education, especially considering the lack of discipline problems in the district.

Except, studies have shown younger children learn better from positive reinforcement. My daughter is still at the nursery school level, but this seems similar to the practice at the kindergartens and daycares the children of some of my friends attend. There teachers use a green, yellow and red card system - akin to a stoplight. All the kids start the day with a green card in a slot on the wall. If they have to be disciplined, the card is changed to yellow (a warning). If the poor behavior, it moves on to red, and the children suffer the loss of recess or a similar reprimand. Stay on green all day, and the kids can earn a sticker or some other small prize. Heading out to dinner on a girl's night out the other day, my friend got a call from her ex-husband reporting their son stayed on green all day at daycare. The little boy was so proud of himself, he wanted to tell not only Mommy but Aunt Jeanne too.

It seems like the stoplight would have more potential to damage kids' psyches - after all, they're right out in the open where everyone can see while these cards are carefully hidden away. But I've never heard a parent - or a kid - complain. When their cards go red, they're embarrassed, and just as chastened as they would be if the teacher handed out a tongue lashing. Which seems like the only other option here; making punishments so severe kids are "scared straight."

What works for your kids? Rewards for good behavior or punishment for the bad?

Image: DailyMail

Is Cutting the Sitter's Pay the Best Way to Save Money?

They Say: Children 'Programmed' to Share

Barack Obama - A Secret Communist Because He Shared His Toys in Kindergarden

Babble Talk: How Do We Know When We Are Scaring Our Kids?

Disaster Girl Strikes!

Where Does Halloween Rank on Your Family's Holiday-O-Meter?

Stay out of my room or I'll pee on your tree

Brett Singer — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I've tried to write a summary of this story but I haven't been able to come up with a better intro than this one (from the New York Times):

When the men of the Phoenix Country Club saw their feeding ways in peril, they did not tarry. Some sent nasty e-mail messages, hectored players on the fairway and, for good measure, urinated on a fellow club member’s pecan tree.

As you can probably guess, it was that last one – the whole "urinating on a tree" thing – that grabbed my attention. What caused otherwise civilized men to make pee-pee on the pecan tree? Why, it was the women! They want to eat in the same dining room as the men! Well, if some chick wants to do that, I'm going to take a leak on her tree! That'll show those nosy broads.

The specifics are as follows: the Phoenix Country Club in Arizona does not allow women to eat in the men's grill room. According to the New York Times, this grill room is where high-level business deals are conducted, not to mention more pedestrian activities such as lunch. Well can't these persnickety hens go somewhere else? Actually, no. The "ladies' grill" has "a hot plate, some card tables and no bar." That's right. A hot plate.

Now, Arizona, Arizona… who's from Arizona? Oh! John McCain! Well, he's not a member. His son Andrew is, and so is Alice Cooper. (Kids, Alice Cooper is this rock star-type guy who used to really upset people because his act featured images of death and stuff. Yeah, we were pretty silly back then. Check out his Muppet Show episode, it's a lot of fun. And for those of you who remember Alice Cooper, yes. He's now a member of a country club that doesn't let women eat with men.)

This issue came to a head when Barbara Van Sittert and her husband Logan "appealed to the board of the club" to change the rules so they could have breakfast together. When they were told to stuff it, they went to the Attorney General's office, which recently issued an "advisory legal opinion that the club needed to comply with the state's antidiscrimination laws." That doesn't mean anything yet; the club has 30 days to try and settle the matter before the AG gets all legal on them.

So remember guys. If women want to do something you don't want them to do, whip it out and pee on their lawn. That'll show 'em.

image: progressivemajoritywisconsin.org

Dick Cheney whispering hush: Goodnight Bush

Political Nanny: White Talk, Blackface ... Barf

McCain Finds Humor in Domestic Violence

Restaurant Wars: What's OK Kid Behavior?

Amy Kuras — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 20:32:00 GMT

We don’t take the kids out to dinner a lot because, well, they are typical little kids and while they behave pretty well, they make noise and wiggle and try to stare at people over the backs of booths and so on. We try to reinforce proper behavior, but repeating "Sit down. Now. Don’t lie down on the booth. Indoor voices please," 900 times in an hourlong restaurant visit makes it not very much fun for my husband and I either. And we've all gotten The Look when we walk into a restaurant with small children, from servers or other patrons, that says "oh no, not a little kid" before they have so much as a chance to spill something.

Worse, we sometimes feel like the only parents who do enforce restaurant manners. My huge pet peeve is people who let their kids sit and play video games after the meal has been served (I saw this at a nice restaurant recently and wondered why the mom even bothered to bring her son along), followed closely by people who let their kids run around like maniacs.

Chow's Table Manners column tackled the question of whether or not restaurateurs should shut down disruptive behavor if the parent's won't recently, and while no one came forward in defense of oblivious parents, it didn’t turn into as much of a baby bashing as I expected (although I am deeply surprised at the number of people offended by public nursing or who won't eat somewhere if small children are present, no matter how well behaved).

What behavior do you expect of your kids at a restaurant, and do you ever feel judged when you walk in with your kids?

Kids Learn To Lie By Watching You

Kelly Mills — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:06:00 GMT

There's an interesting article in New York magazine on lying. While parents cite honesty as the trait they want most in their kids, there's a few set-ups that encourage telling tales and denying facts. The author notes that children observe our socially polite "white lies" and essentially get the lesson, "It's okay to lie to avoid hurting others," which they then extend to stuff like telling us falsehoods about their activities to spare our feelings. There's also an interesting discussion of how teens perceive open conflict with parents as bringing them closer to the 'rents, while parents view it as destructive. You can see how this difference in perspective might encourage kids to at least withhold information. Even tattling gets the spotlight: We essentially punish kids for being honest about someone else's behavior, and send the message that we don't care about their problems.

But are all lies created equal, and are all liars just doing what they learned by watching you? You could take certain parenting lessons from the article (which I recommend you read, it's too much to summarize here) like the value of having less rules, but both enforcing them and explaining why they are in existence; avoiding setting children up to lie (asking "Did you do that?" when you know full well they did); and recognizing that protestations of rules are an opportunity for discussion, not defiance of authority. I would add that it might help to soften the value judgement on lying, and recognize that dishonesty both requires creativity and intelligence (as mentioned in the article) and that catching your kids in a lie might be a sign they are protecting your feelings too much. And showing kids that making mistakes is normal and expected is probably valuable in the pursuit of truth as well.

But I think truth is often not as simple as "Did you kick your sister?" There's honesty in recognizing your own motives and feelings, almost independent of other people, though it influences those interactions. For example, what we call stoicism could be seen as a kind of lying at times. And frankly, I also wonder how much dishonesty can be solely attributed to modeled behavior and trial and error. My kid is almost frighteningly honest and direct, even when it would be in her best interests to lie (though I'd be curious to see if this behavior was consistent with other people as well.) I wouldn't say she got that from watching me, it seems more much innate to her. And that honesty can have social repurcussions as well, since she has to work harder to be gracious. Honestly? I guess I think it's pretty complicated.

911 Is A(n Unfunny) Joke

Amy Kuras — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 20:06:00 GMT

Imagine this: you're five years old, and your mom has passed out on the floor and you can’t wake her up. Just like she told you to, you call 911 for help, only to be yelled at for "playing on the phone" and hung up on.

Two hours later, you call again, and a different 911 operator threatens to call the cops on you. She does send the police, who discover your mom, dead of an enlarged heart, on the floor and you there alone.

Breaks your heart, doesn’t it?

This actually happened here in Detroit to a little guy named Robert Turner. The two 911 operators involved were tried this week for willful neglect of duty, a misdemeanor. Charges against Terri Sutton, the operator who at least managed to send a police car, were dropped earlier this week but Sharon Nichols, who threatened the boy and hung up on him, was found guilty yesterday.

Yeah, yeah, whatever, being a 911 operator in a city like this one has to be a tough job, but I pay really insane taxes for city services like this and expect when a little kid reaches out for help, he'll get it. At a minimum. Unfortunately the charge is only a misdemeanor so I don't believe Nichols will be sentenced to any time.

But I hope to God that woman calls 911 someday and gets the same treatment she received.

Obama Did Drugs and He Turned Out Okay

Kelly Mills — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:40:00 GMT

You know how we have been reporting that teens who smoke weed and screw young turn out better? Hey, here's our proof: Barack Obama was a goof-off in school, a pothead who drank and even (gasp!) did cocaine sometimes. And all he thought about was girls and sports. Now perhaps when you start ragging on your teen to stay straight and just say no to drugs, he or she will turn to you and say, "You don't get to be a presidential hopeful by doing homework. Duh."

Obama told a group of high schoolers "You know, I made some bad decisions that I've actually written about. You know, got into drinking. I experimented with drugs,'' he said. ''There was a whole stretch of time that I didn't really apply myself a lot. It wasn't until I got out of high school and went to college that I started realizing, 'Man, I wasted a lot of time.''' Perhaps that was tme wasted, or perhaps it was just insurance towards a successful future. Either way, I have a feeling some of our kids are going to find anti-drug messages about as convincing as Reefer Madness.

Update: The Political Nanny points out Obama wasn't the only candidate to toke and do white lines. And her example has actually scared me straight. I take it all back, because kids, you don't want to turn out like that guy...

Dad: Have Another, Son

Amy Kuras — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:57:00 GMT

I frequently battle the feeling we are just baarrreeely holding on by our fingernails around here from descending down the slippery slope of white trash. Kid watches TV, sometimes wears clothes with yogurt stains on them and lately has the Runny Nose of Trashdom all. The. Time.
However, I have not -- and can pretty categorically say I will not ever -- gotten too looped to drive with my kid.
I don’t mean not drinking and driving when the kid is with me – my husband and I play Rock, Paper, Scissors for that job. I mean gotten wasted with the kid, like "one for you, one for Mama."

Apparently not all parents feel the same way.

Now, I am not especially puritanical about drinking and am looking very much forward to my first post-pregnancy martini in a few months. But methinks 13 is a leeettlle young to knock back a few with Dad. And 41 is a leetttle old to think this is remotely funny or a smart idea.
Both dad and son face a host of charges in their local courts. No word on how pissed off Mom was (if she is indeed the picture) when the two arrived home.

More Gross Parents From the NYT--Be Skinny and Popular!

Kelly Mills — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:01:00 GMT

I guess it's yucky parent week at the NYT. Now we have a bit on parents who pressure their kids to be thin and alluring and play sports and suck up to the mean, popular kids. Nice, huh? Oh, and when parents fail to take on this role, there's always a helpful aunt or uncle or other relative to step in and fill the void. Like this: "'All I ever think about is whether my niece is popular, thin and happy enough,' said Peggy Siegal, the movie screening doyenne and New York social engine. 'Her mother tells me I have very bad values.'" Hmm, ya think? I love how popular, thin, and happy all go hand-in-hand.

One theory behind why these parents are pushing their kids to be school stars is that the folks are living vicariously through the children. Why do I think that can't be good for the kids? "'It’s better for kids to see they can fail and survive than it is for them to always succeed,' said Laurie Zelinger, a school psychologist on Long Island, who sees too many parents putting children in inappropriately sexy clothing and inappropriately competitive situations. 'Kids don’t need to be perfect. They just need to be resilient.'" See, maybe I'm a nut, but I thought parents and relatives were supposed to ineffectually tell kids in the lower tiers of school social status how great they are, and how those mean popular kids are just jealous, and the kids are supposed to roll their eyes. But apparently dressing kids slutty or making 'em go out for football is another option. A very creepy one.

Hollywood Power Players Show Their Kids How To Be Creeps

Kelly Mills — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:29:00 GMT

Here's a lovely story: Hollywood big shots use their power and position to take their kids to advance screenings of children's movies and shows and so on. Okay. But as it turns out, these parents sometimes have to weasel and threaten to make sure Junior gets a first look at the latest kid flick. And even worse, a kind of one-upping and power playing has become part of the allure for some on the A, B, and C-lists. Check it: "A lot of these parents simply want to be heroes at home. Still, as with most matters involving the inner workings of the entertainment business, this jockeying carries a heavy flavor of status and bragging rights." Um, gross. Feeling all special because you have the power to get your kid into the latest film screening is lame, but it's equally as lame to go all out to try and impress your own children. Note to industry folks: we are supposed to be raising and caring for our kids, not bowling them over with our star pull, okay? "Look honey, Daddy's a bigshot!"

I wish that was the end of it, but naturally, there's more ick to come. There's tales of kids having to smile pretty for the camera on the red carpet, because naturally the studios love the celeb offspring at screenings since it gets the film publicity. Fame-whoring your youngsters is obnoxious. And worst of all, creeps (like Pat O'Brien of show The Insider) have no problem bumping the little people out of their seats, or making celebs with less fame power move to worse seats when a hotter commodity comes knocking with brood in tow. In short, the spawn of the Hollywood elite are getting front row seats to lessons on acting like a total asshole.