Strollerderby : barbecue

Kelly Ripa Beats Obamas for Your Family Vacation

JeanneSager — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:01:00 GMT

I've got a bone to pick with American families.

Or at least those signing up for nitwit surveys. Because apparently you would rather spend your vacation with a talk show host than the leader of the free world.

That's right, Kelly Ripa has topped the vote of who American families want to vacation with this year, outlasting the Obama family by a full seven points.

Sure, she might be able to get you a line on a really nice washer/dryer, but she's still Regis' perky partner (we're assuming she'd be leaving him home, by the way?). Given the choice of her or the president of the United States, the absolutely incredible first lady and those cute little girls, you know where I'd be.

And that's not just because I'm a liberal. If you're a Republican, you can't tell me you REALLY wouldn't like to bend the ear of the guy on top of it all? No? What if he said he'd let you stay at Camp David for free this summer? The Lincoln Bedroom?

You'd still rather make bedroom eyes at Kelly Ripa?

Sheesh, America, let's wake up here. She's cute, but she can't get your out-of-work Uncle Lenny a job.

Ripa had twenty-six percent of the vote in the Ipsos Public Affairs poll, compared to nineteen percent for Barack and co. By the way, kudos to the folks who picked the Obamas over the Jolie-Pitts. Brangelina and their brethren had just sixteen percent of the vote.

Who do you want to barbecue on the beach with this summer?

Image: People.com

Mom and son barbecue grandma's remains

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:30:00 GMT

A 50-year-old woman and her 30-year-old son in Corning, California have been accused of barbecuing the remains of Ramona Allmond, their 84 year old mother/grandmother. The creepy, kooky and altogether ooky pair also allegedly cashed her social security and retirement checks after she died. More specifically, after they CREMATED HER ON A BARBECUE.

Although the cause of Ramona Yolanda Allmond's death may never be known, her daughter and grandson allegedly allowed her body to lie on the bedroom floor for a week until moving it to a concrete culvert behind their residence, Hosler said.
The culvert had been used by the family as a makeshift barbecue, he said, noting that the family had used it to cook their Thanksgiving turkey several weeks before Allmond's death.
It's not known if they used it after the alleged cremation.

EWWW!!!!

But, as game show hosts used to say, that's not all. The mother, Kathleen Allmond, "made a necklace with a portion of her mother's skull, which she wore around her neck…[and] posted a photograph of herself wearing the necklace on her MySpace page."

In the understatement of the century, the Captain Paul Hosler of the Tehama County Sherriff's Department said, "It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck." Yes, Captain. Yes it does.

I have to point out that at least the son, Tony Ray, looks the part. Maybe his defense strategy could be, "Dude! I was just trying to get Rob Zombie to put me in his band…" I also think that the markings on his forehead make him look like a Klingon. (I'm assuming they are markings or a tatto, but I suppose it's possible that he really is a Klingon. Unlikely, but possible.)

This wins my award for yuckiest story of the year. Maybe the decade. Well, there's still time left. But if the vote were held today…

Image/source: Redding.com

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Childfree and B*tchy. Why Yes You Are

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:57:00 GMT

I get the tension between breeders and non-breeders, the child-free and the child-imprisoned, the kid-friendly and the no-kid-near-my-silk. You don't want my kids in your restaurants, or in your house or anywhere near your precious stuff. That part is perfectly clear.

What isn't clear is why it is necessary for some people without children to express their extreme dislike of all people small and whiny, who have a funny knack of being everywhere.

If you hate children to be where you are, you ought to move into one of those nice 55 and over parks where children are banned so you can retire from the messy business of living among the inconvenience of small smelly human beings.

[Photo Credit: GeoCities]