Strollerderby : beer

Boy Calls 911 When Mom Drives Drunk

Brett Singer — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

File this under "I may not be perfect but I'm a better parent than this lady."

36-year-old Belinda Leighton of Boca Raton, Florida was arrested this week and charged with driving drunk. With her kids, ages 9 and 13, in the car.

After spending "the morning drinking wine and beer", Leighton got in her car with children in tow. She told the kids that she had "had it" (it's not clear if she'd "had it" with them or just in general) and "was going to kill them and herself by crashing the car." One of the children called 911 from the back seat; Leighton was arrested at a friend's house.

According to WPBF News, Leighton asked that the deputies "take her children and put them in foster care." I give her credit for that, at least. Hopefully that's an indication that she knows she has a problem and will get help.

Big props to the kid who called 911 as well. It would be enough to just get out of that situation physically unharmed (emotionally is another story). But to have the presence of mind to call the police? I'm impressed. (I know, looking for a positive here, but can you blame me?)

Source: WPBF

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Pregnant Woman Booted from Local Pub

KeriF — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:35:00 GMT

It's hard out here for a pregnant lady.

When Caroline Williams, 26, went out to unwind with friends at her local pub in East Sussex, England, she didn't plan on making a scene. After her first pint of lager, she decided she'd allow herself another half-pint.

Unfortunately, the pub had other ideas.

When Caroline's friend went to order the half-pint, he was refused service because the drink was for Caroline, visibly pregnant at 5 months. When Caroline took a sip of a friend's drink, she and her friends were kicked to the curb.

"I never felt so singled out and humiliated in my life," said Caroline. "I've never been ordered out of anywhere before and I'm not one to cause a scene, so we just left."

The assistant manageress (really? I thought "manager" was gender neutral) confirmed to The Daily Mail that she had asked Caroline to leave, describing her as "a heavily pregnant lady who was drinking alcohol."

However, a spokesman for the company that owns the Sussex Cricketeers pub apologized. "While the team member may have believed she was acting with her own good intentions, she did not handle the situation in an appropriate manner."

What do you think? Was the pub out of line?

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Do You Take Your Baby Bar Hopping?

Brett Singer — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

New York Citysearch writes:

"You had a baby. It happens. Despite consensus among suburbanites, you're not obligated to shed every aspect of your former self. In New York, at least, you can maintain some semblance of a social life." Then they offer a list of 5 "baby friendly" watering holes, where "in addition to spending quality time together, you can teach your child important life lessons--like how to squat above a toilet seat."

Right.

It's one thing if these bars are exclusively for parents and kids. "Baby Loves Bourbon" or something. One bar, Floyd, welcomes the "strollerati" during Happy Hour. The problem is that babies are not always pleasant drinking companions. If I'm at a bar knocking back a few and somebody's kid starts screaming, my strong preference is that said child not be present. And if you want to go grab a few brewskis, why not get a baby sitter? As a commenter on Gothamist puts it, "I dont [sic] bring a six pack to your day care, so dont [sic] bring your babies to the bar."

Let me put on my self-righteous, "parenting the planet" hat for a moment: Personally, I don't like the idea of babies being around excessive alcohol consumption. Whether or not someone is responsible for themselves is besides the point. Drunk people sometimes do dumb things. Why should your little bundle of joy get a pint of Guinness dumped on their head because some dope is upset that Brett Favre threw another interception? Or get hit with a piece of flying barstool when a different dope (or even the same dope) is mad that somebody looked at them funny? Now, let me take that hat off: it's up to you. Live and let live.

The other part of the "babies in bars" thing that I find irritating is the idea that, "you can maintain some semblance of a social life" after having kids. Maybe you can, but maybe you can't. When you have a baby, things change. You might not get to go out to bars the way you used to. Deal with it.

The flip-side to baby-friendly bars is baby UNfriendly bars. Brooklyn's Union Hall got a lot of flack back in February for their "no strollers, please" sign. What's especially irritating about the whining that ensued is the fact that if you can have a "babies welcome" bar, someone else should be able to have a "babies not welcome" bar. (This is similar to my notion that someone should be able to start "Up In Smoke Airlines" to cater to the nicotine crowd.)

How about our readers? Do you bring your kids to bars? Do you mind if other people do?

Source/Image: Citysearch

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Woman leaves toddler in car while she goes to a bar

Brett Singer — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Although that sentence sounds like it's from some demonic Dr. Seuss rhyme, the story isn't particularly amusing.

Authorities say a Largo woman left a 2-year-old boy locked inside a car while she went into a bar.

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office reports that customers at the St. Petersburg bar saw the child sleeping in the back seat of a white sedan with the windows rolled up and doors locked early Sunday morning. Security workers at the bar called the sheriff's office.

This next part would be funny if it didn't involve a little kid. When asked by the authorities how long she had been inside the Club 54 bar in St. Petersburg, "She told them she had only been there for about 20 minutes, but other customers claimed the woman had been there for at least an hour." I have to wonder if she somehow thinks that it would be OK to leave the kid locked in the car while she had a drink if it was only for 20 minutes. Does it make her a better or worse person that she didn't come up with a good lie, like, "I just had to use the ladies' room" or something? I guess it doesn't matter. By the way, this happened at 1:00am, in case you were wondering. Also, none of the news reports I read say that this was her son.

The woman, 29-year-old Caroline Kreitz, has been released from jail and the boy was taken by Child Protective Services.

Source: mysuncoast.com

image: metromix

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Ten-Year-Old Does 90 MPH While Adults Party In the Back

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:54:00 GMT

That's it. I'm not going out on the road with my kid again until I buy a tank. Maybe I should vote for McCain after all - he'd probably love to see us all driving them. OK, the venom is gone. On to the story.

A 10-year-old, driving 90 MPH down a Tennesee highway, flipped a van over the weekend. Why weren't any adults watching when a child climbed into the driver's seat and took the wheel, you might ask? I know I did. The answer didn't make me feel any better. A man and a woman were in the back of the van when it flipped, along with another 10-year-old and a 6-year-old.

Just wait, it gets worse.

The man, Randy Lewis of Bristol, Tenn., told police he'd had 15 beers that night plus some liquor. The woman, Paula Elaine Evans, was reportedly shoveling pills into her mouth as fast as she could when the cops arrived. Police would not tell the media if Lewis and Evans were the boy's parents. For his sake, I hope not. Lewis has been charged with seven violations, including third offense DUI and felony reckless endangerment while Evans faces charges of either child abuse or child neglect. Both are in jail while the three kids are in state custody.

Really, where do you begin with this one? I'm all for assigning someone as DD when you've had a little too much (or you know, two and a half cases too much) to drink. But my vote's for someone who can see over the steering wheel. Then there's Lewis' history. This was his third driving while intoxicated charge. And his duds at the arraignment? A shirt that says "By This Dad a Beer."

How about we just buy him a vasectomy?

Image: Fox News

Source: Kingsport Times-News

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Mom Finds New Use For Sippy Cup: Beer Holder

JeanneSager — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:36:00 GMT

Apparently no one told Virginia Neel Blaker you aren't supposed to put carbonated beverages in a sippy cup. They didn't tell her not to serve beer to a toddler either. Oh yeah, and not to do it front of the police.

The New Mexico mom hit the trifecta in the competition for Dopiest Mom in America this week when a group of undercover officers were at her home to buy drugs from Neel-Blaker and her husband, James Blaker. First officers said they watched her give the couple's 18-month-old daughter a sip of beer from a can. Then she grabbed the baby girl's sippy cup and filled 'er up - "to make the baby sleep."

Perhaps she read Brett's post last week asking if anyone out there really thinks it's a good idea to give a 4-year-old a brewski? The cops said previous purchases of heroin and marijuana at the house, plus her offers to have sex with them for $100 apiece, suddenly took a backseat to the child abuse in front of them. Gee, you mean a mom who trafficks heroin out of her family's home isn't mother of the year material?

The little girl has been taken into custody by New Mexico authorities while her parents are in jail. At least one of us will be sleeping better.

Image: SF Gate

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Dad buys beer for his toddlers

Brett Singer — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 15:00:00 GMT

The Father of the Year competition continues. The latest entry: a Wisconsin man who allegedly bought his 4-year-old a beer a county fair. As in, "Gimme two beers, lil' lady – one fer me, one fer junior. He's too short to reach the counter so I'll get it fer him." The dad did, however, make his son share that beer with his little brother – a 2-year-old.

When confronted by police, he said that it was, "legal for underage children to drink in Wisconsin, as long as they're with their parents." When the officer had the nerve to suggest that, "the boys weren't old enough to know what they were drinking," Daddy Drinkee "began yelling and swearing and was kicked off the fairgrounds."

I was kind of surprised to read that so many folks have seen people who seem to really really want little ones to drink soda, but beer? Has anyone ever heard of someone who thinks it’s a good idea to give a 4-year-old his very own brewski?

Source: orlandosentinel.com

Image: darlingofourage

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Teenagers allegedly gave pot and beer to a six year old

Brett Singer — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:30:00 GMT

From the "WTF" files (actually, 1010 WINS news radio) comes this story:

Three teenagers are accused of giving marijuana and beer to a 6-year-old and videotaping the intoxicated youngster for their amusement in Vernon. The two 17-year-olds and a 16-year-old are charged with child endangerment. They will also likely face drug offenses, police said.

The teenagers were sitting around drinking and toking up and figured it would be funny to give the pipe to someone's little brother. Then they fed the little guy beer through a funnel. I'm saying "allegedly" because that's what you do in these stories, but according to 1010 WINS, one of the parents discovered four videos on one of the teens' cell phone that shows the whole incident.

While the "6-year-old is being screened for psychological and substance abuse problems," I think the three teenagers should be screened for the former as well. This certainly sounds like evidence of psychological problems to me.

Source: 1010 WINS
Image (not from this story, just seemed appropriate): drinkingstuff.com

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14 Lies Parents Need to Stop Telling Their Kids (Part 2)

Cole Gamble — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Just tell me the truth and you won't get in trouble

Hoo boy, that's rich.

Daddy will protect you from the monsters

Hell no, I don’t stand a chance against monsters. Luckily, monsters tend to do their own thing, they go about their business. But if one ever showed up, that would be a problem. I like to think I am reasonably able to defend my family. If a deranged Jack Russell Terrier shows up to harm my family, I will wrestle that thing to the ground. (Note: I have no evidence to back this claim up) but if a monster showed up, we'd all be screwed. Game over. I mean, it's a monster after all.

Do this or you're not going to get “your birthday/Christmas/family vacation”

Oh, how we like to hold holidays over our child's head when they don't want to clean their room or stop stealing car stereos. Children figure out pretty quickly that there are thing a parent can't cancel. Soon enough they understand the concept of a “non-refundable airfare ticket.” They also realize that a parent who actually cancels Christmas gets a kid who tells their classmates that their mommy and daddy killed Santa Claus. The sooner you start making empty threats the sooner they realize you got nothing but empty threats.

When you grow up you'll have a house of your own

In this housing market? Please. Sorry to say, but the promise of manifest destiny and the big yard with the picket fence is on the endangered list. It will be condo or duplex life for your little peeps when they're grown. A house will be something they read about in books. If books still exist by that time, which they won't.

People like it when you play nice

The world rewards specifically those who don't play nice. We have an entire economic system based around this fact. It's called capitalism and it asserts that by serving one's own self-interest first, you serve your fellow citizen. That's how oil companies “serve” us by charging $4.00 a gallon while reporting record profits. Ask Barry Bonds, Bill Belichick or Donald Trump to rhapsodize on the merits of playing nice. A kid who grows up into an adult who plays nice is a benefit to the world, but it won't get him a 10-year contract with signing bonus or an 80 story building bearing their name. It is nice to dream, though.

Beer is yucky

Kids love apple juice and often mistake that lager you’re holding for the sweet nectar. Let's not get into the particulars of why you are drinking around your child; the point is baby wants some of that juice in the pilsner glass. “No,” you say, “that's beer,” but still they persist. “I want to try beer.” So you are forced to decree the following statement, “beer is yucky.” Beer is not yucky, it is delicious. My dad used to tell me beer was yucky, and now I know why: he wanted all the beer to himself.

Mommy and daddy are taking a “nap”

(A.K.A. it's time for afternoon delight) I swear to you my wife and I never use this one. Taking a carnal dip while the children play dolls right outside the door, kinda creepy. My parents, however, loved this ruse. Even when we kids were well into our teens. It was either “your mom and I are going to take a nap” or “we're going to make the bed” which they would have had time to make ten times over with the 20 minutes they were gone. Let this one go, folks. The kids know what you are up to.

Click here for Part 1

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Mom Uses Beer to Halt Attack on Daughter

Jen Chaney — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:32:00 GMT

On this day when we celebrate the birth of America, we salute the most American thing of all: The use of beer to fend off intruders.

When a man broke into her California home in the middle of the night and attacked her in bed, 45-year-old Linda Dodson attempted to fight him off, even biting his hand. But it was Dodson's 71-year-old mother, who was sleeping in an adjacent room, who really thought on her feet. After she tried to pry the guy off her daughter and the burly burglar slammed her into the wall, the older woman sniffed a whiff of alcohol on his breath.

"I just looked at him because I could tell he had been drinking and I said, I don't know about you, but I could use a beer, how about you?" she said, as reported in the L.A. Times. "And he said yes."

So the two women and the guy who just tried to beat them up sat down in the kitchen and threw back a few. Each of the ladies got up separately to use the bathroom and, at some point, Dodson was able to sneak off and call 911. The intruder, Louie Herrera, was subsequently arrested.

See, that's the kind of mom I want to be: One who is smart enough to know that beer can distract someone from harming my kids. But what I really want to know is what the three of them possibly could have talked about while they sucked down those brews.

"Hey, remember that time ten minutes ago, when you tried to strangle me? Man, those were the days."

"Have you seen 'Iron Man' yet?"

"So do you break into houses like this a lot? Or do you do something else for a living?"

The good news is that no one was hurt and the dude, who also happens to be a convicted child molester, is in prison. And, as often happens, it was a mom who saved the day.

Crafty: 150 Ideas To Beat the I'm Boreds

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:00:00 GMT

I may be about to put Crafty out of business by posting this link but it is a risk I'm willing to take if it will save us all from a month or two of piteous cries of "I'm boooooooored."

Gina at an unpink life cooked up 150 things you can do during the summer with your kids. And, no, none of them involve my favorites like "rub Mommy's feet" and "get Mommy a beer." Shucks.

One of my faves is pictured at right, which is building fairy houses. No, not every last idea on the list will fit your particular circumstances -- like camping outside isn't going to fly around here -- but there are enough that should work for anyone.

Or we can start our own list here. Anyone?

Photo credit: Megan at and everything nice.

Greatdad.com's Husband Of The Year awards

Brett Singer — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:00:00 GMT

No, it's not Kevin Federline, Charlie Sheen, or even that guy from the Black Crowes. These are just regular fellas who really, truly, go out of their way to make sure that their wives are comfortable. Check out these photos:

See? What a bunch of great dudes. (And by "great" I mean "Wow, if I did any of these things my wife would throw me in the river wearing cement shoes.")

See the full collection -- and find out who wins top honors -- here.

images/source: Greatdad.com

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Pregnancy and Booze: A Match Made in France

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Back pain and swollen feet bringing you down? That bloated feeling making you want to jump out of your skin? Make like the French, and have a vodka tonic, or even a couple of sérieux (roughly translated as, “one serious beer.”) According to a new study, 52 percent of French women consistently hit the bottle while pregnant. I knew I was a French major for a reason!

I know what you’re thinking: those French and their hedonistic ways. Well, in this case, the majority of tipsy pregnant mademoiselles simply didn’t know that drinking alcohol presents a health risk to their babies. And we’re not just talking an aperitif before dinner.

Here it gets a bit disturbing: Of the 837 pregnant women interviewed, 13.7 percent had at least one binge drinking episode, consuming five or more drinks, during their pregnancy. (Compare this to American women, of whom only 12 percent consume the medically approved daily drink while pregnant.) Tragically, two of the women in the study gave birth to babies with fetal alcohol syndrome. Let’s hope this study serves as a wakeup call to the French that at least one American dietary obsession just makes sense.

Photo: hoverdontsit.typepad.com

Fighting A Giant Rat

Cole Gamble — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Quick Note: Hi, I’m Cole and I’m the new guy on the blog. My handle is The Good, The Dad and The Ugly (my wife’s choice out of many far more ridiculous names). Enough about me, on to the booze and rodents.

Borderline alcoholic parents worth their salt know that Chuck E. Cheese serves beer. There is nothing that helps you get through your kid’s birthday party extravaganza like a little hair of the dog. Of course, the collision of alcohol with family friendly fun does create some awkwardness, such as the following inappropriate exchanges:

“Hey why don’t we skip the pitcher of beer and just set me up with an IV, eh Chuck? Just kidding, but seriously, keep those pitchers coming. Dad’s in some pain and he needs his medicine.”

“Hey kid, go ask that breastfeeding lady if she’s single.”

(Before playing head-to-head pop-a-shot against a seven year old) “I’m gonna take you down to Chinatown!”

(After tying with the seven year old and heading into sudden death tiebreaker mode) “Ooo, this shit just got real.”

(After beating said seven year old in sudden death) “Grow a pair.”

“No sir, I didn’t come here with a child. Is that some kinda rule?”

Also not acceptable, walking around with a string of prize tickets hanging from the zipper of your pants.

Here is bad news for all you who like to get your drink on at the House of Chuck: Chuck E. Cheese has suspended alcohol sales due to a brawl that broke out* at a Chuck E. Cheese in Michael Moore’s favorite dead-horse-to-kick, Flint, Michigan. Officials estimate the fracas included up to 80 combatants. In addition to cutting off the booze, Cheese execs are calling a moratorium on profanity and gang symbols (all apologies Crips; you as well, Bloods).

Sorry hung over moms and dads, looks like you’ll have to sneak a little Crème De Menthe into your Shamrock Shake at the McD’s Playland from now on.

Photo: www.beans-around-the-world.com

*Note: This post originally mentioned the ban affecting all Chuck E. Chese locations. The ban only applied to this location.

Men Only. Women, Please Do Not Click On This Post.

makeitadouble — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Gentlemen first let me thank each of you for attending this emergency meeting; I know it was short notice and that you were either busy watching the football game with one hand shoved down the front of your pants and the other holding a beer, randomly lifting heavy objects or retrieving them from high places, cleaning your shotgun, napping on the couch or just doing your best to avoid spending any quality time with your wife and kids. Joe, Steve, am I right?

Before we get to the reason I’ve convened this conclave …sorry Mitch… asked y’all to come over…I’d like to address the status of Greg who as many of you know was placed on a 6 month probation for remembering his wife’s birthday back in November and for also helping with the dishes without being asked. Last night while watching The Notebook with his wife Greg not only teared-up but he then failed to pretend like he had something in his eye. As of today Greg has been suspended indefinitely and will not be eligible for re-instatement until 2010.

Now to get to the matter at hand, I’ve recently been made aware of a blog posting by Cathy (AKA – Arkie Mama) that has been printed out and is currently being distributed throughout the room. It was brought to my attention by a Him-pathizer inside the Sisterhood and… I know we still have to vote on the official use of the word Him-pathizer. Rick, just take one and pass the pile along. What Jeff? Yes, it’s a lot of words but I’ll be paraphrasing most of it so just follow along the best you can.

You’ll see the title of the post is, “Pshaw! Those silly, blushing menfolk” I take great umbrage…sorry Mitch…I’m disgusted with the way we are portrayed in the title. Men, need I remind you that “blushing” rather than internalizing whatever embarrassment you may feel in a situation is strictly forbidden. Quote: Today, a friend of mine told some co-workers about my blog. Male co-workers. Who, upon pulling up this here blog and reading my previous post, reportedly turned scarlet and said, "Oh, I can't read this." Mike verify the blushing of these “Male co-workers” and if it turns out to be true confiscate their GodFather DVD’s Part 1 and 2, they can keep part 3, and cancel their subscription to Maxim Magazine. And let me just add that even though it’s not a universally accepted “rule” I classify drinking a blush wine as an equally egregious offense…sorry Mitch…equally as wrong.

Though the mere suggestion that men blush would have alone warranted this meeting, Arkie Mama tips the hand of the sisterhood by revealing five very disturbing things about women that I’m certain many of you here did not know and even more certainly things that none of us will ever understand. 1) Women have periods 2) Women have PMS 3) Women have sex when they’re not PMSing 4) They openly discuss these topics amongst each other and 5) There’s a possibility that women, our wives included, may be talking about us to each other as well.

Quote: Boys, boys, boys: It's time you learn. Women talk about everything -- and yes, sometimes you are part of the discussion.

Settle down, settle down. Somebody get Frank a beer he looks pale. Alright did any of you know that women talked about everything including us? I didn’t think so, but it turns out it is liberating for women to know they can look to other woman in a coffee shop, a book club and even on a blog for comfort and commiseration. It also turns out they confess their vulnerabilities and even share ribald jokes which I think means they’re making fun of our hair loss.

Quote: Sometimes, we stumble across a blog whose aching, raw honesty humbles and touches us. We continue reading following our sisters as their stories unfold, thinking of them, reaching out to them.

As you know gentlemen, as men we are incapable of aching unless it’s our backs after a pick-up game of basketball or of displaying anything raw unless it’s a T-bone Steak that has been marinating all day in Jack Daniels BBQ sauce and is about to go on the grill. Furthermore, if I discover that any of you are thinking about each other outside of arranging Fantasy Football trades I will personally petition for your immediate removal from this association.

Quote: The ability to be open and honest with other women is empowering. Too bad you menfolk are so afraid of it.

I see that look in your eye Chris, don’t even think about it. It’s not that we’re afraid of it because as you know we’re not afraid of anything, it’s that men are inept when it comes openness and honesty and though we covered it last month I will again read the list of the acceptable topics of conversation and the venues in which we can partake in them…sorry Mitch… where we can talk and what we can talk about. First the Whats 1) Sports 2) Sex 3) Your Asshole Boss 4) Home Improvement 5) Food and Alcoholic Beverages. Now the Wheres: 1) Sports Bars 2) Taverns 3) Pubs 4) Lodges 5) Lounges 6) Golf Courses 7) Watering Holes 8) Bistros 9) Microbrews 10) Softball Field.

You’ll see Jerry that I didn’t mention your kid’s Spelling Bee while you’re standing at the Urinal, O.K?

Alright, to recap we’ve discovered that women openly discuss everything with each other including us and this is not only liberating and empowering but something we as men know nothing about because we’re afraid. Did I miss anything? Yes Mitch, we also learned that they won’t have sex with us if they’re PMSing.

Thank you all again for attending on such short notice. Please remember on your way out to your cars that a handshake is the only acceptable gesture of friendship. Hugs and chest bumps are reserved exclusively for sporting events and weddings.

Joe, Steve, I’m looking at you.

(photocredit:www.amystevensonline.com)

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Beer

makeitadouble — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:28:00 GMT

Did it finally happen? Did the annual tradition of driving to the Christmas Tree Lot in sub-freezing weather, haggling with an off-season Carny about the price of the tree, strapping a Douglas Fir to the roof of your sub-compact like a deer carcass and vacuuming needles from your carpet until St. Patrick’s Day cause you to chug all the wassail you were saving for the wassailers for when they came a-wassailing? Ask yourself:

If you were one of the Wise Men would you have brought Koch’s Golden Anniversary instead of gold? Do you care more about Silver Bullets than about Silver Bells? Is your idea of Rankin Bass judging how well the bartender pours the first layer of your black and tan? Are the only lights you have around the house the cans of Coors littering the coffee table? Are you planning to have The 12 pack of Christmas instead of The 12 Days of Christmas? Have you ever used the phrase, “You can’t spell Noel without OE.”? Is your holiday spirit 10% alcohol by volume?

If you answered yes to all, any or none of those questions then I may just have the Christmas Tree for you. Behold the Beer Bottle Christmas Tree; and though Kelly warned us yesterday about how our traditional Holiday Decorations may be death traps the only way I can see the Beer Bottle Christmas Tree killing anybody is through alcohol poisoning. Well that and when the tree falls over and shards of glass severe your carotid artery, duh. So perhaps building a tree made from empty Grolsch bottles isn’t the best idea with children around, but then again nor is emptying hundreds of Grolsch Bottles with children around.

Who am I kidding though? The only empties I have enough of around the house to assemble a Christmas Tree with are Pediasure containers, baby food jars and bottle liners. *Sigh* …alright kids, grab the rope, pile into the Civic and remember, Cooder may look scary but he’s harmless.

(Photo Credit: www.uncrate.com)

Dad Sick of Ties? Buy him a Beer for Father's Day.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 22:59:00 GMT

Although I haven't actually purchased any gifts for my father or my husband yet for Father's Day, I feel pretty sure that I won't be getting either one of them a tie this year. Anheuser-Busch has an idea. They want me to buy the special dads in my life a beer.

This is all part of Anheuser-Busch's "Here's to Beer" campaign.

I have to say it's not a bad idea. My only reservations are 1) One beer? For Father's Day. I think my Dad/husband/Father-in-Law deserve more than a single beer for a whole year of fathering, and 2) The men in my life have selective tastes I can't see me buying them a Bud Light for a special occasion. I want to go at least to the Bass/Guinness/Harp level, maybe even a microbrew so that they know they are special to me.

If anyone out there is taking notes, I also accept beer for Mother's Day. I like pale ales.

B is for Beer that's Good Enough for Me

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:14:00 GMT

A lot of my good friends are either currently pregnant or just had a baby. Most of the time I think I am so glad I will never have to be pregnant again, but every once in a while I will see something that makes me want another baby. Here is one of those things. It's a B is for Beer t-shirt! It is as if it was made just for my children. Sadly, the largest size is 24-36 months, so while my kids must go without, if you are one of my pregnant friends you know what to expect for your shower gift.

She Twisted Twee stuff they sell at Baby Dagny is pricey, but really cool. If you are on a tighter budget, but you still want all of the other parents on the playground to know about your love for alcoholic beverages, you can get this great martini onesie from Etsy. This one is only $10.

Buy this stuff while your kids are little people. Once they get to be two or so they fight you and they get to decide what to wear. It is much tougher to be subtly ironic when your kid is wearing something with Dora on it.

Liveblogging: St. Patrick Who? Irish, You Say?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 02:13:00 GMT

Dana and I were out at a farmers market this morning when a woman nearby answered her cell phone and said, "Happy Drinkers Day!" Two years ago, that was us.

Before the pregnancy, before the baby, before the rigid scheduling brought on by nap times and bed times and before that sad fact that we simply can't find a babysitter who doesn't charge $98 an hour and insists on medicine cabinet priviledges, this used to be our holiday. We'd eat corned beef and cabbage. I'd suck down Guinness while Dana pretended to enjoy herself. A great time was had by all.

Now, however, it's a different story. Emmeline is sleeping in her room. Dana is finishing some work, and I am dreaming of a cool pint of Guiness. So if, like us, you're lame enough to be home. this. instant. instead of out drowning your uvula (no, silly, higher) in Guinness, please enjoy this inaugural rendition of the St. Patrick Days blues -- in which I drive the fun out of Ireland.

5pm: Emmeline wakes up. Dana wakes up from nap. Change Emme. Feed Emme. Start dinner.

6pm: Finish Guiness beef stew. Put in oven. Finish Guinness used for said stew.

6:30pm: Bed time routine. Make bottle. Open more Guinness.

7pm: Emme goes to bed. Neighbor in the flat above us begins screaming, "Yeahhhh Boy!!!" (Our landlord lives above us; otherwise we'd beat the crap out of the ceiling.)

7:10pm: Dana sits on couch to finish work. I sit at computer -- writing this and thinking of Guinness. The distant sound of revelry from North Beach bars can be heard. Upstairs landlord neighbor shouts, again, "Yeahhh something!"

7:27pm: Me: "Is the stew ready?" Dana: "No baby. It'll be another hour." Me: "An hour?! Ohhhh." Dana goes back to work.

7:37pm: We hear a noise. "Oh, no - she's coughing," Dana says. I go in to check. Emme has her lovey bear, and I linger a moment at the crib, watching as her chest rises and falls in the soft light. I touch her cheek and exit softly, trying to remember I'm supposed to be annoyed at missing the festivities but smiling quietly to myself instead.

7:53pm: Just received batch of photos from a friend, who came over on New Year's Eve. The New Year's Eve party caption says: "Out until 7 pm!" Us parents; our holidays have taken a decided turn for the worse.

8:10pm: Put water on stove to boil for potatoes. Watch pot. It boils! Potatoes in, and then read this story from Drudgereport. Ew.

8:30pm: Turn on TV. Nothing. Play Internet poker. Lose. Dana still working. Stew smells freaking good. Neighbor is stomping around.

8:55pm: Stew is ready! But a few Guinnesses on an empty stomach has left me feeling, well ...

9:50pm: Oh. dear. god. A full bowl of rich stew on an empty stomach is not a good idea. The Guinness don't help. We try to watch a movie, but I slump on the couch, begging for Dana to rub my head. "I don't feel so good," I tell her. "Some holiday," she says. But I just sit there, feeling her hands on my head and feeling her warmth beside me, and I begin to realize she's onto something. Some holiday indeed. I'm going to bed.

Linklove: Flashcards Are Better Than TV

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:30:00 GMT

I love flashcards. I love them like I love ice cream. Or beer. I can devour them. And so can my daughter. The only difference is I chew first. We'll spend an entire morning flipping through a stack of Eric Carle animal cards, drooling on A for Alligators and nibbling on M for Monkeys. While I'm sure there's a way to play with flashcards that doesn't require a roll of Tums afterward, the point is we're doing something together. Without TV. And without the electric gizmos and doodads used so often to "entertain" children nowadays. (Yes, you can smack me now. Or go back to your Baby Einstein DVD. You pick.)

So a special thanks to AJ at Thingamababy for pointing out the advantages of Brain Quest cards, which are designed for toddlers but can easily be consumed by younger children as well. In a thorough review of the cards, AJ discovers there's more substance than "fluff" to them. Each flashcard offers a building block to conversation, allowing your toddler to not only build a strong vocabulary but also learn to take in the world around her.

The best part? "A 2-year-old would be hard pressed to play with these cards alone," AJ writes. While that's not ordinarily a recipe for success after a long day with a 2-year-old, a great set of flashcards can provide solid bonding -- and also, as AJ says, provide a needed break from all the toy's that isolate children during playtime. "Parents must be involved with this game, period" Just make sure you buy Tums first.

Brew Pub Play Date: Bring Your Baby's Fake ID

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 10:49:00 GMT

Bars are democratic spaces - you talk to strangers, you share booths, you feel the bond of common ground. Bring democratic discourse to your local democratic space - build democracy one drink at a time. --Drinking Liberally

We've all heard about the health benefits of drinking as well as the various downsides of too much of the stuff. In recent years, various authors have taken on the relative importance of parental imbibing and its implication of a more relaxed and humorous approach to childrearing (including Three Martini Playdate, Mommies Who Drink, and Daddy Needs a Drink). Parents, it seems, are interested once again in finding a way to spend the evening hours with the kids that is less Gymboree, and more cocktail hour.

When my husband and I moved from the suburbs to the city last year, much of what we sought was a lessening of our social isolation --as individuals and as a family. I can appreciate some of the advantages of the suburbs: better schools, safer neighborhoods, quieter streets. But none of it compares to quaffing a beer and talking politics with a pal in a friendly pub, while the children play happily -- notwithstanding the lack of Chuck E. Cheese to keep them company.

And while my town doesn't yet have the number of family-friendly brew pubs and ale houses apparently around every corner in Seattle, we're getting there. Until then, I believe I'm doing my part for democracy and laid back parenting by meeting in pubs and discussing the state of the world --with children in tow.

The brew pub play date has arrived!