Strollerderby : best friends

Elephant Cares For Injured Dog

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:45:00 GMT

It's only fair to warn you that if you watch this video, you are liable to have a cuteness conniption fit. And if you show it to your kids, they are likely to beg you for a trip to the Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee.

That's where Tarra the elephant lives. Recently her best friend Bella suffered a debilitating spinal cord injury. Rather than roaming on the nearly 3,000-acre sanctuary, Tarra stood vigil for three full weeks outside the sanctuary office, where Bella was recuperating. This loyalty is not uncommon in elephants, who typically form lifelong friendships--except that Bella is not an elephant herself. She's a stray dog who lives on the sanctuary.

Perhaps thanks in large part to Tarra's support, Bella is now all healed and once again frolicking alongside her elephant friend and letting Tarra rub her belly with her giant foot.

Photo: CBS, via Jezebel

Kid and Kangaroo Best of Friends

Rare Baby Rhinos Found

Girl Talk May Fuel Anxiety

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Naturally you want your children to have strong friendships, people they can trust to help them navigate social and emotional concerns. But there may be such a thing as too much talking.

Psychologists call it “co-rumination:” the tendency to dwell on a personal problem with a friend, seeking empathy and validation of your feelings. Anyone who’s responsible for paying a teenage girl's phone bill is probably more than a little familiar with this type of conversation: do you think he likes me? Is so-and-so mad at me? Should I break up with him?

As this tendency has started to figure more heavily into female friendships with the advent of MySpace, Facebook, cell phones, and email—which mean that the majority of friendships can be based on chatting or gossip, rather than activities—researchers have started to wonder if it’s such a healthy way for friends to relate with one another.

Indeed, several studies of third, fifth, seventh, and ninth graders have shown that co-rumination can lead to increased anxiety and depression in girls, at least in the short term. Obsessing about a problem with a friend can make that problem seem bigger than it is—and worries can be contagious: if my best friend is so concerned about how many times a week her boyfriend calls her, maybe I should be, too.

Researchers found that emotional conversations did not affect boys negatively, perhaps because they occur less often or because the tone is different. Boys may be more likely to focus on solutions to problems instead of just venting them, which psychologists say is the most effective way to converse.

One way parents can help their daughters avoid this self-perpetuating cycle of anxiety, obsession and validation, and hence more anxiety is to encourage your children to come to you for advice, so they get the perspective of age at least some of the time. Any other tips for parents to help their daughters most effectively deal with emotional upsets?

Photo: New York Times

My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Karen Murphy — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:05:00 GMT

It's true. Outside of school, my kids have no friends. Growing up, even though I attended a school miles from my home, I was painfully shy and fiercely private, but I still had a couple of across-the-street friends to play Monopoly with and go roller-skating with. My own kids? Not so much. Not at all, in fact: they play with each other and that's about it beyond occasional playdates with school buds. Apparently this is a trend, and as friendless as they may be, my kids are not alone.

According to a study that, uh, studied these things, kids today on average don't hang out alone with friends until they're about fourteen, despite the fact that their parents did so at ten. Which means that most of us have fears that the world isn't the rainbow-filled bubble it seemed to be when we were little. Helicopter parents? Maybe. Buying into media-fueled panics about missing children? Perhaps. But parental fears and the resulting lack of freedom for the kids, added to the rise of solitary activities like video and computer games, has resulted in the fact that one in five teenagers has no best friend.

So what to do? I don't have an answer for that one. I would love for my eleven-year old and seven-year old to have nearby friends to hang with, but I'm picky and scared. It's hard to let go of the apron strings. Not to mention the fact that my kids lack the social skills to find their own friends, even though there are apparently kids right in our little neighborhood.

What about your kids? Do they have friends? What age do you think is appropriate for your kids to be off alone with friends? Do you manage their friendships? Are we raising a generation of solitary kids?