Best of Famecrawler: This Man Wants You to Sit on His Lap

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 17:57:00 GMT

Mario Lopez is stepping forward to say he was not the father of the baby that Britney Spears supposedly miscarried earlier this year. Lopez, an Extra correspondent and ex-Dancing With The Stars contestant, says the rumors are unfounded. "This particular headline with Britney and the baby… it is laughable.” Sorry Mario, but I didn't hear a word you said - I was too busy trying to will that red cloth to fall down.

Who am I kidding? Britney could have gotten pregnant by a million other guys, including K-Fed or the local Starbucks barista who got on her good side by topping all her Frappuccinos with a dusting of cocaine. But I couldn't find any pictures of them baring a nicely-tanned ass-cheek, so I decided to write about Mario today. It's sort of like the casting couch, except with naughty pictures and bloggers.

Meanwhile:

Paul is vying for sole custody of Beatrice
Chucky Sheen wants more babies
Steve Carrell is magic (cuz Whit says so)

Best of Famecrawler: Britney's Blackout Causes Yours....

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:15:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

After weeks of leaked tracks and offhand criticism, the official reviews are coming in for Britney's comeback album. And although many of those reviews are positive, there are still plenty of critics

"She comes off like some machine that bleeps and bloops out an airy array of oohs, ahhs and groans," Jim Farber writes in the New York Daily News. "If a blowup sex doll could sing, this is what she'd sound like."

Ouch.

He adds: "In terms of studio trickery, Paris Hilton's album was practically Unplugged compared to this."

Ooooh. Double OUCH.

Still, it's not all bad. Farber says that even though "she may no longer dance with flair, lip-sync on cue, keep her dress down, or even be judged a suitable mom... Britney Spears can still turn up on some slammin' new songs," he writes. Okay, that's sorta bad - all the more when he qualifies it by stating that those 'slammin' new songs should really be credited to slick production rather than robust talent: "think about this: How wonderful it is that, in the world of slick pop, even if stars can't deliver, the machine behind them still can."

So she's a bad dancer, bad dresser, bad mom - and a mediocre performer who'd be lost without her production team. Too bad she doesn't have a production team for parenting and life skills.

Other burning questions answered at Famecrawler:

Strollerderby : best of famecralwer

Best of Famecrawler: This Man Wants You to Sit on His Lap

Best of Famecrawler: Britney's Blackout Causes Yours....