Strollerderby : birthday party

Why Do Parents Cheat at the Easter Egg Hunt?

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:35:00 GMT

They're apparently one of the most foul creatures on earth - the parents who help their kids a little too much at the Easter egg hunt.

Excuse me while I cough this one into my hand - that was me, last weekend. I followed her around, hinting, "Honey, look to your right. No, your other right."

To be fair, it was FREEZING in upstate New York, and my daughter had spilled a bottle of Yoohoo all over my winter coat the day before. So while the other parents stood outside wearing down-filled parkas, I was wrapped in my decidedly spring weight poncho, my fingers jammed in my jeans pockets while I whined like the little kids to the mom who set the whole thing up. My daughter is also only three and a half - of all of the kids present at the birthday party, there were only two younger than her, including the birthday girl's little brother. I didn't pick any of the eggs up off the ground, nor did I drag her around the backyard. But you better believe I stepped in when she had five eggs and six more to go to get to her eleven (the number put out for each kid by the mom organizer) to offer up some big hints.

So I read this story in the Daily Item about overbearing Easter egg hunting parents with a little bit of self-loathing. Just a little - because to be honest, I was much too cold to do any heavy duty helicopter movements. Whirring around would have required removing my hands from my pockets.

But I have met this kind of parent, the one who not only instructs their kids as to where to find the eggs but picks them up FOR them, and will yank an oblong piece of plastic with a bunny tattoo inside out of the hands of a two-year-old. And celebrate their massive victory!

The Easter egg hunt brings out the competitive streak in normally docile parents, the type who instruct their kids on helping old biddies across the street. Suddenly, their kid needs to gather some three thousand eggs, and who cares if little Jimmy from down the street has a single one.

The best part of our weekend hunt at the birthday party was the eleven egg limit per kid. Letting them have a goal of a certain number makes it more challenging, and it ensures no kid is left behind. But I can tell you my kid wasn't going to get to eleven without a little help. So is it wrong that parents step in? Do you help your kids?

Image:SagerScenes

Things You Should Never Say at a Chuck E Cheese Birthday Party

Cole Gamble — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

“Hey why don’t we skip the pitcher of beer and just set me up with an IV, eh Chuck? Just kidding, but seriously, keep those pitchers coming. Dad’s in some pain and he needs his medicine.”

“Hey kid, go ask that breastfeeding lady if she’s single.”

(Before playing head-to-head pop-a-shot against a seven year old) “I’m gonna take you down to Chinatown!”

(After tying with the seven year old and heading into sudden death tiebreaker mode) “Ooo, this shit just got real.”

(After beating said seven year old in sudden death) “Grow a pair.”

“No sir, I didn’t come here with a child. Is that some kinda rule?”

Also not acceptable, walking around with a string of prize tickets hanging from the zipper of your pants asking, “anybody know where I can cash this in?”

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The 12 Do’s and Don’ts of Throwing Your Kid’s Birthday Party - Part 2

Cole Gamble — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

DO plan birthdays at fun indoor kid’s places when your child has a winter birthday.

DON’T get banned from the bouncy castle at JJ Jump because you sent too many children flying with your “Atomic Bounce”

DO make sure the birthday girl or boy sees a “Happy Birthday” sign up first thing on their birthday morning.

DON’T go crazy buying decorations. Kids don’t care that you shopped Pottery Barn for a parfect cupcake organizer.

DO provide juice boxes. It is much easier than having to fill cups all the time.

Back to Part 1: #1-6

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The 12 Do’s and Don’ts of Throwing Your Kid’s Birthday Party

Things You Should Never Say at a Chuck E Cheese Birthday Party

The 12 Do’s and Don’ts of Throwing Your Kid’s Birthday Party

Cole Gamble — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Ah, the children’s birthday party. A perfect venue to implant a sparkling, treasured memory in your child’s mind forever or scar them irreparably. If my wife is any indication, planning a child’s birthday party is one of the most hair-pulling, stress-inducing exercises outside of the birth itself. In the weeks leading up to my daughter’s recent 5^th birthday, Nicole grumbled daily about how “the parents at Jillian’s school clearly don’t know how to return a god damn RSVP.” I assured her that RSVP is a French term, and so most parents probably took it as a joke. Nicole was not swayed.

Having seven birthday parties under my belt, I think I’m finally getting the hang of how to make one go smoothly (i.e. avoid emotional disaster). Here are a few of the pointers I’ve picked up:

DO serve food and drink, making sure to account for all your guests and their parents.

DON’T serve booze. At my son’s second birthday, my friend got wasted which made him a great clown for the kids. What was not so good was when it was time to blow the candles and my friend joking added, “get ‘em all in one blow, ya little f****t!” My mom and Nicole’s parent got a real kick out of that. Then came time for the piniata. After every kid took a few turns whacking the thing, it was time for an adult to step up and finish the job. My sossed friend grabbed the plastic bat and began swinging wildly. When a bit of the candy began trickling out the kids made a dash for it, but my friend, completely oblivious kept swining, guaranting to pound a little one in the face with his erratic bat. “Stop kids! Run away from Casey!” I shouted. Sadly, that was when my stepfather stopped videotaping, which is too bad. I’d like to have a record of that glorious moment.

DO always serve cupcakes...they hand out it much easier and take less time. Cupcake cake give you the best of both worlds.

DON’T let your drunk friends rearrange the cupcakes in a suggestive manner.

DO hand out goody bags as they leave. If you disperse them earlier the kids will fight about who has what color gifts and such things. The birthday girl might be envious of the cheap trinkets as well, despite the pile of presents you just dumped on her.

DON’T put the following items into the goody bags: slime, beads or a big bag of sugar—unless you want to guarantee those kids’ parents will never bring them for another party.

Go to Part 2

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10 Things They Don’t Tell You about Parenting

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Kindergartner Gets Best Birthday Present EVER

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

I pride myself on being a pretty good gift giver - at least when it comes to my kid. But I can't top Casey Hurles.

The Army specialist came home from Iraq, then let his family wrap him in a box and cart him to son Gabriel's elementary school.

While Gabriel chowed down on cupcakes with his classmates, Casey sat quietly in the box, waiting. When he finally tore off the bright balloon-covered wrapping paper, the kindergartner jumped back and yelped - but it didn't take too long to recover.

The Nevada six-year-old hadn't see his dad since June when Spc. Casey Hurles left for his second tour of duty in Iraq. When Hurles realized his leave would fall right in line with his son's sixth birthday, he hatched a plan that's been four months in the making. Returning home, he had to hide out at his parents' house to make sure the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

Watching little Gabriel burrow his face in his Dad's chest, returning again and again for more hugs, might bring on the waterworks (it did for me), so grab the tissues before you watch!

Now isn't that the best birthday present a kid could get?

Image/Source: Nevada Appeal

Let Them Eat Cake, But Not At School

JeanneSager — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:33:00 GMT

It was the one big drawback to the summer birthday. Sure I never got a pop quiz on my birthday, but I didn't get to hear my name broadcast over the loudspeaker during morning announcements either. And with the exception of one year when my mother was feeling overly ambitious, I never got to walk the aisles between the desks, doling out cupcakes.

Now it looks like the cupcake kid is a thing of the past. Schools around the country are beginning to ban birthday celebrations in the classroom. They take away from teaching time, says one Minnesota principal. They sugar the kids up, and they make kids feel bad when they don't have a Martha mom at home mixing up batter before the bell rings.

I can recognize a bit of truth in all of that. But I wonder if this is just another case of taking the sweetness out of childhood.

I still cling to every detail of the late June day in third grade when my mother arrived with platters of cupcakes. Row after row was generously heaped with frosting in shades of red, white and blue - not, as most of my friends thought, for July 4th but for Bastille Day, the French holiday that falls shortly after my birthday. Glad I was showing at least a modicum of interest in the Saturday morning French lessons I'd been moaning about all year, my Mom gladly fulfilled my request for French-themed goodies. And I finally got to be the kid prancing from desk to desk, fulfilling requests for the blue, the red, the white one with the little flag on top.

So maybe I just proved their point - it sucks to be the kid who doesn't get to do what every other kid gets to do. But, by the same token, the in-the-classroom birthday parties are one place where kids have to be all-inclusive, where they have to be nice to EVERYONE. The same can't be said for the parties outside of the class, the parties a group of select kids are always chatting about at the lunch table while the classmates who weren't invited eat quietly, their eyes trained on the PB&J in front of them. For those kids who aren't invited out to hop around in the bounce house or build a bear, there are those in-school mini-parties, the chance to be just like every other kid. For the kids handing out the cupcakes, there's a chance to learn to give of themselves, to share with everyone, to learn the gift of making other people happy.

As for the time taken away from instruction, I'm not buying it. In a classroom of 25 kids, there are 25 possible days when a half hour will be taken up by a little song and cake routine. That's assuming none of those kids have a summer birthday, none have a birthday over spring break. So we've got a possible 12 1/2 hours of instruction time lost to a chance for kids to be kids over the course of 180 days . . . hours that could just as easily be lost to two-hour snow delays, to the busywork assigned when a substitute teacher's at the helm of the class.

At the end of the day, school is a place for learning about life - not just about Washington and the cherry tree and the multiplication tables, but socialization, sharing, celebrating, embracing the good things life throws at you to overcome the bad. If life throws you cupcakes, you eat them.

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Fun Birthdays Despite Recession

Madeline Holler — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:36:00 GMT

In all this talk about economic downturns and recessions or "recessions" and whatnot, politicians are overlooking one very important thing when calculating rebates and tax cuts and interest rates freezes and economic stimulation: what the hell is a parent to do about birthday parties?

Listen, party-planning expert Lisa Kothari, author of Dear Peppers and Pollywogs...What Parents Want to Know About Planning Their Kids' Parties knows your pain and she wants to help out with her three-part series on recession-proof children's birthday parties. Thank God, because I was worried we'd have to leave it up to our kids this year to create their own fun.

For Part 1, she counsels to "think outside the box," but goes on to give some cool ideas, so stick with me. The first is a Messy Party, with these sugggestions.

Invitations stamped with handprints.
Make a mess out of balloons and streamers; hang them all over the place in no set pattern.
Have the kids paint pictures with chocolate.
Let the kids decorate premade sugar cookies.
Set out paint, roller brushes, and butcher paper for the kids to make fantastic creations.
Have a bunch of stamps and water-soluble ink out and have the kids stamp their arms and legs all over and stamp one another!
Place a pile of dirt in one area of the yard and have the kids make dirt creations using twigs, rocks, and other natural elements.
Make a traditional round cake, ice with vanilla frosting and then drizzle different colors of icing into your own messy masterpiece. Add candy toppings as an added bonus.

Outrageous Cookie Party

Make plain cookie dough and then set out these ingredients for kids to get creative with. Bag them up to take home. Be sure to warn parents in case the kids decide to share.

Ketchup
Mustard
Chocolate Syrup
Ranch Dressing
Steak Sauce
Cherries
Yogurt
Cheese
Peanut Butter
Balsamic Vinegar
Jam
Pesto Sauce
Tomato Sauce
Relish

Don't forget to request all birthday gifts in cash. (Who's going to pay for all that wasted pesto? We're in a recession!)

So what are you doing for a cheap birthday party this year (or any year)? Canceling the tiger cub rental? Yeah, me too. Me too.

Photo: Once Upon a Bash

Birthday Party Excess (Again!)

Patti — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 19:29:00 GMT

These stories of over-the-top kids' birthday parties are becoming so commonplace in the media now that I'm actually starting to think some of them sound like great ideas. Not the ones that cost tens of thousands of dollars where you have to book the Four Seasons ballroom six months in advance, but the kind discussed in this article, where you take your kids to a venue and let 'em go at it, whatever "it" happens to be.

These parties are like Gymboree or Build-a-Bear parties taken to the next level, and it's a level that is somehow not as repulsive to me (I hate clowns and I hate stuffed animals). I could totally go for a dress-up party where my kids and their friends spend a couple hours tarting themselves up with sparkly eyeshadow and then dance around in fairy wings, especially if it didn't require me to provide the cold cream and mirror space. I can see having a build-your-own-pizza party, or a tea party in a fancy hotel.

Well, I can almost see it. What I really like about what I'm reading here is that some of the parties were just really creative at-home parties, like a tractor-themed party with a real machine for climbing and pretending. Planned by professionals of course, which we have already established is kind of bizarre for a little kids' party, but there's no reason you couldn't come up with this stuff yourself. But then you're going to have to clean it up yourself when the fairy dust and tea-sandwich crumbs settle.

Things Fall Apart: These Kids' Party Hats Are Scarier Than Clowns

Karen Murphy — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 12:36:00 GMT

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. That party you were planning? For your soon-to-be one-year-old? You're going to have to completely redo the theme, I'm afraid. Of course, if you were one of these people, this likely wouldn't be an issue. And I'm pretty sure Suri's parents (or party planners?) didn't have this problem either. I'm only giving you fair warning, because these attractive party hats have been recalled. Sorry I have to be the one to tell you; I know how much you were counting on them.

Yes, apparently that sturdy-looking foil trim so cleverly glued along the bottom of the hat can come loose! And choke an unsuspecting toddler! So manufacturer Creative Expressions says: discard! We will refund your entire $4!

There. I hope you can salvage the party, but I just couldn't rest without you knowing this.

Strollerderby : birthday party

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