Strollerderby : birthdays

What They're Babbling About: Birthdays, Babyproofing and Twilight

JeanneSager — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:31:00 GMT

A Babble take on what's going on around the blogosphere for you:

Ever been tempted to just bag the birthday bash and take the kids for ice cream? Find out what the experts have to say about this form of "bad" parenting. - ParentDish

Rewarding good behavior? Well, that's just not done. Snort. Would you give this kid a cookie? - CafeMom

Twilight got you atwitter? Check out the wolf pack - and weigh in on how that makes your alpha mom growl. - MamaPop

Remember the Sex and the City episode when Carrie's Manolos were stolen because the party hostess said no shoes where the baby crawls? Parents are wondering - how do you babyproof the houseguests? - AlphaMom

Are young mothers getting the stink-eye for being young? - Momversation

Is Madlyn Primoff just an example of frustrated parents everywhere . . . just a bit over the edge? - The Juggle

Homeschooling is certainly not a new thing, but if you're a homeschooling parent getting criticism, how about hauling out these names of successful former homeschool students. Showed them, huh? - Mental Floss

Image: EssentialBaby

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Three Generations, Just One Birthday

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:37:00 GMT

The chances of having three generations in one family share the same birthday are seven in a million.Meet number seven - she was born February 2.

So, for that matter, was Anala Broussard's mother, Jasmine, and her grandmother, Cherise Terry.

I had to laugh at the comments from an astrologer in the Mercury News article on the family: "These kind of ties between people is a strong sign that they are karmically linked and shared other lives." Yes, they're karmically linked all right, biologically linked too!

But whether you're the superstitious type or not, there's something just this side of coincidence about every female in one family making her entrance on the same day.

As the Terrys point out, it does have a drawback for Mom - her birthday ceases to be important as the focus of celebrations and parties goes to her daughter, and now it will go to her daughter's daughter. But I suppose it must save a bundle on birthday cakes?

It also bears noting that Feb. 2 is Groundhog Day - and like Bill Murray, this family is apparently living one day over and over again.

Does your family have a double - or triple - birthday? Has it impacted celebrations?

Image: Mercury News

What They're Babbling About: Birthdays and Every Day

JeanneSager — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:38:00 GMT

Is there any day as big for parents as their kid's birthday? Forget the wedding anniversary or - dare I say it - your own birthday. There's big doings for little kids, and other day-to-day life in this week's edition of What They're Babbling About.

Big on birthdays? About.com's parenting section is planning a birthday party next month - and you're invited. Write up your party post, and send it over by Feb. 25 (that's Wednesday) to get your piece of cake. - About.com

Everyone could shave a little money off the day-to-day family expenses. But sometimes hitting up the secondhand store means money wasted, says this mom. She says thrifting it is kind of gross - what do you think? - Parent Dish

Think you're the only one staring delivery in the face and still throwing up? Lil Sugar's taken a poll - sixty eight percent of their readers got friendly with their toilet during pregnancy. Somehow, that still doesn't make us feel any better. - Lil Sugar

Hey Mom clique. Hello, you, yeah, you. Mighty Maggie is trying to say hello, can you hear her? Ever been the mom on the outside looking in? - Parenting

Image: SagerScenes

Smackdown: Babies Don't Need Birthday Parties

Jen Chaney — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:28:00 GMT

I must preface this post with the following disclaimer: My family and I have attended several birthday parties for children under the age of 3. Our son enjoyed each one and we truly appreciated the invitations.

Now that that's out of the way, I can make the following statement: Kids under the age of 3 totally don't need to have birthday parties.

Before you start posting comments that accuse me of hating the Easter Bunny and starting a petition to put a moratorium on trick-or-treating, please allow me to make my case. I love parties and I genuinely enjoy celebrating milestones. Of course, as parents, there are fewer milestones more significant than our children's birthdays.

But throwing a big 'ol fiesta for a child who is only one or two -- and who probably doesn't care about the invitations or goody bags and certaintly won't remember them -- is a nice but arguably unnecessary gesture. For starters, there are very few party options for kids that age. You can either host the thing at your own home, which no one does because they don't want 25 toddlers racing through their family rooms. Or there is Option B: Have the party at Little Gym, My Gym, Gymboree or the local gym equivalent of your choice. Which is what everyone does. And that means pretty much every one of these b-day celebrations is exactly the same. Same bouncey-bouncey on the trampoline, same delivery pizza, same sheet cake.

Then there is the cost issue, which is no small matter given the current economic situation. Throwing a party, even if you do it at home, is not cheap. Once you decide to have a real party, one that extends beyond family, the guest list tends to balloon. Every child in the daycare class and their parents, every friend you have plus their sons and daughters, those neighbors down the street with the kid who always wears shorts even when it's 30 degrees out: suddenly you feel obligated to invite, feed and entertain them all.

But let's say you could keep that guest list under control. Most of the people who show up will feel they must bring a gift. And that means more junk in the house -- again, for a child who is still too young to fully appreciate it -- not to mention an obligation (albeit an unspoken one) that all those friends have to spend money on presents. In short, it just seems like a lot of hullabaloo that misses the point of the day: To celebrate your child's life on his or her terms.

My son turns two this weekend. We certainly don't plan to ignore his birthday. His grandparents will get together with us, eat some cupcakes and open some presents. There will be a little party in his daycare room, again, with more cupcakes. And we might take him somewhere special, too, like the park or the zoo. But that's it.

Next year, when he's three and perhaps a bit more likely to remember what we do to commemorate his third year on this planet, we may take this whole thing to another level. But until then, we'll celebrate in a quiet way. Call me crazy. Call me a party pooper. But I think the little guy will be perfectly happy with that.

The Other Side: Smackdown: Party On Baby!

Baby Born on Mom and Dad's Birthday

JeanneSager — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 17:26:00 GMT

I used to think I had it bad - birthdays in my family and my husband's crop up in nearly every month of the year. There's no time off from gift-buying and card-choosing.

Then I heard about Tyler Nash and fiancee Erika Cherry. They just welcomed home a new baby girl - born on Tyler's birthday. Erika's too. Every member of the Cherry/Nash family has the same birthday.

The parents are, of course, ecstatic - and they should be. They just had a baby (and she's a cutie too - check out the picture). But I've got to feel a teensy bit bad for little Faith Nash.

She's got to share Dec. 23 with Mom and Dad - one birthday cake, three names. AND she's got to share her birthday-week with the big J.C. Fortunately, her parents are well-schooled in how to keep Christmas from crimping your birthday-style. As they've been there, done that, they're planning a lot of half-birthday celebrations.

Image: Colorado Springs Gazette

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No presents for this kid - just donations

Brett Singer — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

More nice news – an 11-year-old in Greensboro, North Carolina told her friends not to bring presents to her birthday party. Instead, she asked them to bring canned goods that she will donate to a local food pantry.

This isn't the first time Audrey Mangum decided to forgo gifts in favor of more charitable pursuits. This has been going on for four years. Previous birthdays included items such as teddy bears and toys to be donated to less fortunate families.

Some kids, of course, brought presents, and Audrey was happy about that, proving that she's nice, but not nuts. "That is pretty cool," said Mangum. "They didn't even have to do that."

Cool kid! I have a friend whose daughter did something similar one year, and everyone was pretty charmed by the gesture. Frankly, I think it would be nice if more kids did this sort of thing, but I think the idea needs to come from the child. That is, if you say, "Hey, Toy Boy. How about this year you don't get presents and your friends just bring cans for the food pantry?" you may not get a great reaction. Then again, maybe not every kid is going to think of this on their own, or they might be embarrassed to bring it up for fear of being teased (not to mention not getting any cool gifts.) Has anyone ever done this with their children?

Image/Source: digtriad.com

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How Not to Behave at a Birthday Party

Jen Chaney — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:32:00 GMT

This MomLogic blogger is way ticked at a mom and dad that came to her kid's birthday party. And frankly, it sounds like she has a right to be.

They repeatedly asked if the host was paying for parking or buying wristbands for the parents. Then they questioned who was supervising the children. And, as an exclamation point on the day, they changed a dirty diaper on top of a picnic table.

All of which certainly qualifies as rude. But does this make them, as the blogger contends, the rudest parents ever? I'm thinking no, only because there are ruder things that they could have done.

They could have:

--Asked the host if she would reimburse them for buying her kid a gift.

--Taken the birthday cake to another table, then started charging the guests for each slice.

--Spiked the Kool-Aid because they found the party "too boring, yo."

--Put trick candles on the cake, then forced the birthday girl to keep trying to blow them out until she breaks down into spasms of sobs.

Can you trump that? What's the rudest thing you've seen someone do at a birthday party?

Photo: MomLogic

Birthday Cake as "Milepost"

Amy Kuras — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:32:00 GMT

One of my points of pride as a mother is that my daughter has had a homemade, from-scratch birthday cake every year.

From her first birthday, when I was concerned she had a dairy allergy so found an egg-free, dairy-free cake recipe that actually tasted pretty good (and was decorated with Cheerios and Cool Whip -- which I hate, its smell, its texture, its taste, its very existence) to last year, when I made her a chocolate frosted chocolate cake with "prinkles" she chose herself, I've dragged out the stand mixer and the baking pans the first weekend in December for three years now.

Which I'd feel a hell of a lot better about if my cakes didn’t suck. After looking at last year's under-risen, dry disappointment, I've decided that from here on out, it's boxed cakes for us.

That would brand me a second-rate baker, probably, (although I insist on homemade frosting, which is much easier) based on this essay from the New York Times last week. But I loved it, because I identified with writer Elly Schull Meeks' assertion that the birthday cake can become as much a milepost as the birthday we're celebrating itself. And that's especially true for the cakes we bake for our children.

Are you a believer in the homemade birthday cake or do you maintain that that's what your local bakery is for? And do you have any "cake memories" for good or ill?

Pregcellent: I Know When You'll Give Birth

Madeline Holler — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:14:00 GMT

Okay, maybe I don't know exactly. And your due dates might indicate I'm full of it. But it turns out, there are trends and statistical significance and stuff that make it a whole lot easier to bet on birth day/date outcomes.

For example, the most common day of the week for giving birth is Tuesday. Who knew? The least common day is Sunday. (My kids were Monday and Sunday -- we're so alternative.)

The day of the year with most births, according to this, is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and the Tuesday before New Years. The day of the year with fewest births is May 22. (What's wrong with May 22?)

These days summer months have the most births -- August, then September and July.

Do you fit the pattern?

Photo: kittymowmow.com

When the Surrogate Sticks Around for Birthdays

Jen Chaney — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:35:00 GMT

Kim Kovacic is a permanent surrogate mother. I say permanent because the Virginia resident continues to have a relationship with the "test tube baby" she carried, Jamie Robyn Thompson, and the girl's parents. As this story from The Washington Post explains, Kovacic has celebrated all 14 of Jamie's birthdays with the family, attended graduations and confirmations, and even babysat for the girl.

It's not Kovacic's first experience with child-bearing. She has three children of her own and also was the surrogate for another baby, but is not in contact with that child or the family. Personally, I am amazed by people like her. Going through pregnancy is not easy -- it's a huge physical sacrifice. To make that kind of sacrifice for another couple that you don't even know is the textbook definition of selfless.

Some people might think it's strange for the surrogate to be so close to the child's family. (If you share that opinion, I'm sure you'll say so in the comments below.) I actually think it's pretty cool and must give Jamie an even greater feeling that she is loved. The fact that Kovacic and the young woman she helped bring into the world share the same birthday? Well, that's just icing on the cake.

Photo: SXC

The Secret to Raising a Pro Baseball Player

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:08:00 GMT

No, no, we're not supposed to project our hopes and dreams onto our kids. But that doesn't mean we can't set them up for potential success!

If it's a major league baseball player you want, here's what you need to do. (By the way, if the kid is already born, there's a one in 12 chance it's already too late to get involved).

To get to the big leagues you first need to give birth as close to (but after) August 1.

No, this has nothing to do with astrological signs, as one baseball analyst wrote (cringe!), rather, it's all about age. Little League and other nonschool-affiliated age-cutoff dates are July 31. So your August baby is one of the oldest (and perhaps biggest?) on the team.

No word on how best to break into pro football or basketball.

Photo: Slate

Chuck E. Cheese Is Hotbed of Crime

Kelly Mills — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:01:00 GMT

So what exactly is it about Chuck E. Cheese, um, entertainment centers that inspires violence and crime? Perhaps it's the infernal noise of fifty video games beeping wildly. Maybe it's the fact that there's a giant mouse walking around and everyone pretends that's normal, just like they do at Disneyland--and someday I'll tell you about the time the guy in the mouse costume actually groped me. It could be the animotronic creatures that line the walls, punctuating the din with even noisier singing and clacking (though to be honest, I don't even know if they have those animals anymore, this is a childhood memory we are mining here.) Could be the wretched pizza, the sticky floors, the crying and the ultimate frustraton that is skeeball.

What the hell am I talking about? Well, a Pennsylvania Chuck E. Cheese has seen 18 calls to police in a year, including one for a 20-person brawl. And no one can exactly pinpoint whether it's the older kids or the parents who are causing all the ruckus. Plus, this isn't an isolated incident by any means. All I'm saying is that when folks are afraid to go to a kid party joint without an escort, something has gne terribly, horribly wrong.

Happy Birthday kids. Have some carrots.

Brett Singer — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Despite what Adrienne pointed out about chubby kids having fewer cavities, a school principal in New Zealand isn't taking any chances.

Megan Bowden of the Oteha Valley primary school has issued a decree: no more cake. With a large number of kids having birthdays in September and October, every day was a birthday cake day, and that's just too damn much cake! The New Zealand Ministry of Education (ooo, sounds ominous, doesn't it?) has been trying to reduce the amount of sugary snacks being served at school, but they also issued a statement that, "schools did not need to monitor food brought in from outside." So they're probably cool with the cake.

As much as the principal's policy seems draconian, I have to admit that a part of me agrees with her. I'm far from a health nut, and Kelly is right when she tears into the London lunatic who criticized a heavyset beauty queen. But it does sometimes feel like kids are given a tremendous amount of junky food during the school day. I know of two elementary schools that have "sundaes on Friday" once a month at lunch, and I've seen lunch menus that offer waffles and bacon, with chocolate éclairs for dessert. According to the article, parents began to think that bringing a cake for the child's birthday was a school rule. Then there's the issue of allergies, which means checking the cake for nuts or another offending substance, and whoever brings in the cake might be expected to provide an alternative for any child who can't partake of the treat. Maybe it's not completely unreasonable to say hey, have your cake at home.

100 years old, 100 miles per hour

Brett Singer — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:06:00 GMT

I used to say that if I lived to be 100, I hope I can at least feed myself. But Gordon Miller has raised the bar.

To celebrate his 100th birthday, Miller's son suggested that he drive a car and a boat at 100 miles per hour. So he did. Click here for video.

The guy seems to have all of his marbles; frankly, he seems to have more marbles than some people half his age. Here's to clean living. I'll have what he's having.

image: allposters.com

Two Moms Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese

Kelly Mills — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:02:00 GMT

You know how it goes: One minute you are hosting a birthday party for your kid, and the next thing you know, you are in a fistfight with another mom. Two mothers are going to court soon over a tussle at a party at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm pretty sure part of the defense strategy will be, "Your Honor, there are mitigating circumstances to consider. After all, my client was at Chuck E. Cheese, and I doubt anyone has spent time there and not wanted to strike someone."

Of course, it all started over a video game. One kid was using the game, and the birthday boy's mom told her son to be patient. Then the game kid pushed the birthday boy, who said he was hogging the game. Birthday boy's mom said game boy was finished, game boy's mom said he wasn't, words were exchanged, and then game boy's mom attacked birthday boy's mom. They fought for a bit, and planned to take it to the parking lot when the police arrived. Pretty sad for the kids, and police are filing charges against both ladies. No word on whether any large mice were injured, but we can only hope.

Kitchenista: The Kinda Cupcake

Madeline Holler — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:32:00 GMT

On the one hand I get why, sometime around Valentine's Day, the director of my daughter's preschool started discouraging parents from sending cupcakes to school for kids' birthdays. Between Halloween and Valentine's Day there were loads of sugary holidays. If you average in the birthdays, that's minimally once a week when the next generation of obese Americans was loading up on crap.

So the do-gooder in me whole-heartedly agreed with the director's request. But as an adult with unresolved birthday issues -- my late May birthday was an annual competition between Memorial Day, weekends, and the last day of school -- I wanted to tell her to shut up, we're bringing cupcakes.

But she's right, too many cupcakes.

So I've settled on these, what I call "Kinda Cupcakes." They're actually banana bread muffins, sweetened with honey, which you can frost with slightly sweetened cream cheese frosting (please use regular or light, not non-fat -- non-fat cream cheese is yucky.) Sure, they're still little calorie bombs, but they sound healthy and probably are a better choice than a glorious head-sized store-bought cupcake wonders. The other thing is if you make them in mini-muffin pans, each kid can have two -- which to a 3-year-old feels like an abundance, even though, pound-for-pound, they're getting less than half of a real cupcake.

Adapted from Nigella Lawson's "How to be a Domestic Goddess"

The Kinda Cupcake

2 tablespoons melted unsalted butter

2 tablespoons honey (brown rice syrup also works well ... or, shhhhhhh, you can use 1/4 cup regular sugar or packed brown sugar)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 mashed bananas, pick the brownest ones you have

1 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon cinammon (optional ... you can also throw in nutmeg or other cake-y spices ... or even, like, half a tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder)

pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Mix butter, honey/syrup/sugar and vanilla. Mix in smashed bananas.

Mix dry ingredients and stir them in with the mashed bananas mixture until just mixed (it'll be lumpy which is fine).

Fill in 24 mini muffins or 10 regular muffins.

Cream-cheese frosting

In a mixer, add block of cream cheese (or an entire container if you buy it in the tub). Add a few tablespoons of sugar and some drops of vanilla (1/2 a teaspoon?). Add milk one splash at a time until it gets to a consistancy you can frost with.

Don't forget to decorate with sprinkles.

Three Kids, Different Ages, Same Birthday, Same Family

Madeline Holler — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:35:00 GMT

My birthday is one week after my sister's. Both of my kids had the same due date, but the younger one's birthday is eight days after her sister's. My niece and her great-grandma share a birthday. So I'm not all that impressed by kids of the same family who were born years apart on nearly or exactly the same day. After all, there's a 1 in 365 chance any two people share the same birthday, right?

Still, even I can see there's something kind of kooky about this British family: three kids, all born on January 29th. In fact, odds were far more against this happening than with just two -- 7.5 in a million or 133,000 to one.

The family's first two kids were born two years apart. Twelve years later, the youngest was born. She had been due in early February but doctors determined the mom needed a c-section and Jan. 29th was the only date available.

All of this brings me to my next point: in planning your family, did you consider shared birthdays? I thought it was a bit of a rip-off as a kid, sharing the spotlight, pretty much knowing what I was going to get for gifts or getting my gifts early (or my sister getting hers later) ... and then look what I went and did.

Parents Spent $3,000 On The Kid's First Birthday Party

Kelly Mills — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:35:00 GMT

A while ago the parenting story of the day was paring down parties for kids, and how these celebrations should be small and cost nothing and we should all forgo the party favors. There was even an online movement called Birthdays Without Pressure, for people who were kinda grossed out by the excesses of it all, and the word on the street was that big parties had more to do with competitive parents than the kids. At the time, I came out in defense of the lavish affair. However, I'm here to tell you I do have my limits, and they are definitely shy of this one-year-old's birthday.

How do you spend that much on a kid birthday? These parents did it by renting a room at a country club, hiring a magician, having pony rides, buying a giant castle cake, providing a buffet and pinata, all for almost 60 guests. ('Course that party would cost $5,000 where I live.) They also flew out the grandparents, and I think that part is sweet. But mother Sheila Chapman's motivation behind the affair was reportedly to make it memorable for her son. Um, bad news: He's one. He isn't gonna remember a thing about it. She also wanted her son "to know how important and special I think he is." Okaaaay, for a one-year-old, I think you can accomplish that with a hug and thirty minutes in the sandbox.

Fun Birthdays Despite Recession

Madeline Holler — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:36:00 GMT

In all this talk about economic downturns and recessions or "recessions" and whatnot, politicians are overlooking one very important thing when calculating rebates and tax cuts and interest rates freezes and economic stimulation: what the hell is a parent to do about birthday parties?

Listen, party-planning expert Lisa Kothari, author of Dear Peppers and Pollywogs...What Parents Want to Know About Planning Their Kids' Parties knows your pain and she wants to help out with her three-part series on recession-proof children's birthday parties. Thank God, because I was worried we'd have to leave it up to our kids this year to create their own fun.

For Part 1, she counsels to "think outside the box," but goes on to give some cool ideas, so stick with me. The first is a Messy Party, with these sugggestions.

Invitations stamped with handprints.
Make a mess out of balloons and streamers; hang them all over the place in no set pattern.
Have the kids paint pictures with chocolate.
Let the kids decorate premade sugar cookies.
Set out paint, roller brushes, and butcher paper for the kids to make fantastic creations.
Have a bunch of stamps and water-soluble ink out and have the kids stamp their arms and legs all over and stamp one another!
Place a pile of dirt in one area of the yard and have the kids make dirt creations using twigs, rocks, and other natural elements.
Make a traditional round cake, ice with vanilla frosting and then drizzle different colors of icing into your own messy masterpiece. Add candy toppings as an added bonus.

Outrageous Cookie Party

Make plain cookie dough and then set out these ingredients for kids to get creative with. Bag them up to take home. Be sure to warn parents in case the kids decide to share.

Ketchup
Mustard
Chocolate Syrup
Ranch Dressing
Steak Sauce
Cherries
Yogurt
Cheese
Peanut Butter
Balsamic Vinegar
Jam
Pesto Sauce
Tomato Sauce
Relish

Don't forget to request all birthday gifts in cash. (Who's going to pay for all that wasted pesto? We're in a recession!)

So what are you doing for a cheap birthday party this year (or any year)? Canceling the tiger cub rental? Yeah, me too. Me too.

Photo: Once Upon a Bash

Juggling Holidays and Birthdays

Amy Kuras — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:10:00 GMT

In my little circle of family and close friends, there are, no kidding, six birthdays and two anniversaries between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. So, although my own birthday falls in June, I've long been sensitive to the potential problems of holiday birthdays even before my daughter (due at Thanksgiving, born a week late) came along.

Of course, I found this article interesting. This mom actually cancelled Hanukkah (or, I am assuming, at last the gift giving portion thereof) when her son, whose birthday falls right in the middle of it, got a little gift-grabby.

Managing expectations of your children –and yourself – at this time of year is hard enough without the added excitement and present-giving opportunities of birthdays right around the same time. We struggle with keeping the gift bonanza in line with our budget and values already, and she's only three. Once she gets older and the marketing machine has really dug its tentacles in, I worry about how much more difficult it will be to instill gratitude instead of greed.

I truly enjoy this time of year, and certainly celebrating the birthdays of some of the people I love the most adds a special dimension to its excitement. But making sure everyone gets their due can be exhausting as well – I hear too frequently from my holiday-birthday peeps that their birthday gets lost in the shuffle of the holiday excitement, so it's important to me to try to keep their day just for them (none of this "this gift is for your birthday AND Christmas" crap unless it's, like, a pony).
Do you have a holiday birthday? Do your kids? And how do you manage making birthdays special while not going completely crazy?

Note To Parents: No Embarassment Or Strippers For Birthdays, 'Kay?

Kelly Mills — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:31:00 GMT

I have never understood the whole birthday-as-opportunity-for-humiliation thing. Why would you want to commemorate someone's special day by making them feel like an ass? It's part of my stance against birthday spankings. And I even have a recurring nightmare about being in a restaurant and having the waitstaff come out and put a funny hat on my head and then everyone singing...bleugh. So I'm less sympathetic about this story last week when one mom wanted to playfully embarass her son on his 16th birthday and the whole thing went terribly awry in a naked lady/public humiliation kind of way.

The mom says she contacted a party entertainment company and hired a gorilla to show up in her son's drama class to chase him around on his birthday. Somehow the booking got mixed up and a stripper dressed up as a cop showed up instead. The performer ordered the boy to get on all fours, chastised him for being a naughty boy, and spanked him with her whip 16 times. Then she stripped down, pulled out some cream, and ordered the boy to rub it into her ass. At that point the teacher pulled the plug on the event and the boy ran from the room.

Even if this was unintended entertainment--gee, thanks mom. Maybe for my 17th birthday I could have ten sessions with a skilled therapist?

Spousal Birthday Gifts for Yourself

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 13:08:00 GMT

Let's face it -- you're the one doing the dishes, you're the one cleaning up the messes and wiping all the asses, so when it comes time for your spouse's birthday, indulge yourself. Throw yourself a happy birthday party. Or at least buy a really cool present that can easily go both ways.

Take my wife, for instance. (Insert Henny Youngman line here if you must.) She recently had a birthday, and you know what she unwrapped? An ice cream maker. Considering that I go through a pint of Haagen-Dazs every night, I was sure she'd see through my nefarious plan.

Thankfully it was a gift she asked for, but it still got me thinking. We've been together for more than 10 years now, and I've missed a decade of great opportunities.

Now I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with other gifts that could just as easily be for yourself as for your spouse. The new family pool. The new family car. The new family beer maker and three-way with the hot new nanny. While my wife will read this and probably begin her search for the "new husband gift," I'm wondering what else is out there?

Have you ever given or received a two-way gift? Something in a box, I mean. No, not that box. Jeesh.

Birthday Party Excess (Again!)

Patti — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 19:29:00 GMT

These stories of over-the-top kids' birthday parties are becoming so commonplace in the media now that I'm actually starting to think some of them sound like great ideas. Not the ones that cost tens of thousands of dollars where you have to book the Four Seasons ballroom six months in advance, but the kind discussed in this article, where you take your kids to a venue and let 'em go at it, whatever "it" happens to be.

These parties are like Gymboree or Build-a-Bear parties taken to the next level, and it's a level that is somehow not as repulsive to me (I hate clowns and I hate stuffed animals). I could totally go for a dress-up party where my kids and their friends spend a couple hours tarting themselves up with sparkly eyeshadow and then dance around in fairy wings, especially if it didn't require me to provide the cold cream and mirror space. I can see having a build-your-own-pizza party, or a tea party in a fancy hotel.

Well, I can almost see it. What I really like about what I'm reading here is that some of the parties were just really creative at-home parties, like a tractor-themed party with a real machine for climbing and pretending. Planned by professionals of course, which we have already established is kind of bizarre for a little kids' party, but there's no reason you couldn't come up with this stuff yourself. But then you're going to have to clean it up yourself when the fairy dust and tea-sandwich crumbs settle.

Babble Talk: Birthday Parties Gone Wild

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:02:00 GMT

Baby tigers, stretch limos, a trip to the recording studio to cut a record. These are just some of the extravagant things that Asra Q. Nomani did for her son's birthday parties, all before the age of 5.

In a recent Babble essay, Nomani highlights the crazy, competitive world of birthday parties where parents get trapped in a cycle of trying to out-do the previous year's party. She discovers there is help for people like her in the form of an organization called Birthdays Without Pressure, a group of "recovering over-the-top party throwers and those disgusted by party excess."

Nomani's turning point was attending a party where the parents served grilled cheese sandwiches and everyone, including the parents, were relaxed and having a great time. Personally, I'm a fan of the low-key/low-cost party. In my experience nothing makes a birthday party more fun than hot dogs or pizza, a passel of kids in their own dress-up garb, and beer. Lots and lots of beer. (For the parents, that is.)

See glimpses of yourself in Nomani? Check out her article and know you aren't alone.

Pro Party Planner for a Three-Year-Old?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:23:00 GMT

Emmeline turned 1 on Monday -- and our party planning consisted of baking cupcakes, stripping her naked and letting her go to town on the kitchen floor. It took a solid hour to clean up, but the sight of a sugar-coated pastel baby was more than worth it. (Note to kid: Sprinkles don't go in your lady business.)

But the first birthday is easy. It's more for the parents anway -- at least that's what everyone told us. But now, I'm starting to get a little freaked out. You see, I just read a post on Dana's Internet mother board about a mom who is looking for a party planner ... for her 3-year-old.

A party planner? Is that where birthdays are headed? How difficult is it to pin the tail on Dora or beat the crap out of pinata Sponge Bob? Are 3-year-olds that demanding nowadays, or are parents just that overworked?

Maybe I'm just jealous, because it would have been a whole helluva a lot easier to let someone else make the arrangements, grab the food, book the guests ("Hello, Mom? You comin?"), bake the cupcakes, etc. etc. etc. I couldn't imagine trying to tie it all together with a "theme."

But still, I'm wondering if I'm alone in thinking a professional party planner for a 3-year-old is more than a little over the top? Please let me know in a hurry -- I've only got a year to plan the next party.