Strollerderby : biting

Mom Arrested for Biting Slow-eating Son

Jen Chaney — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 19:58:00 GMT

Trying to get two kids ready for school in the morning can make any mother frustrated. Apparently one in Florida got so annoyed last week that, as the St. Pete Times reports, she bit her 5-year-old son on the cheek. Now she faces a charge of child abuse.

The mom, identified as Zhifang Chen, allegedly was angry with her son for eating his breakfast too slowly. She told police she "was just playing around" when she bit the boy, but his teacher reported the incident because the child had visible teeth marks on his cheek when he came to school. Chen is being held in jail without bond; the story doesn't say where the children currently are.

Clearly, most of us probably wouldn't characterize a bite that severe as "playing around." But I dare say that many of us have occasionally gotten mad enough at our kids to find ourselves teetering on the line that separates in-control parents from ones who totally lose their cool and do something regrettable.

In those situations, what do you do to stay calm (besides, you know, opting not to sink your teeth into your child)? I'm a big proponent of something I'll call inside-voice cursing: pausing for a moment, closing your eyes and screaming curse words in your head where, unless your son or daughter is one of those weird, telepathic kids from some lousy horror movie, the little one can't hear them. Yeah, it's kind of lame. But as an anger management technique, it sure as hell beats biting.

They Say: Smoking While Pregnant Makes Kids Aggressive

Brett Singer — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I thought it was generally acknowledged that it was a bad idea for women to smoke while pregnant. A new study provides another reason: the kids could end up aggressive. The likelihood of aggressive behavior increases if the family makes less than $40,000 per year. This is according to a study conducted by Canadian doctors that was published in the academic journal Development and Psychopathology.

To clarify, "aggressive behavior" – or "behaviour", as they call it, since some people have to spell things differently – is that which the mothers characterized "as quick to hit, bite, kick, fight and bully others." (I guess spitting is OK. Throwing things, perhaps?) The children studied were between 18 months and three and a half years of age.

"Mothers-to-be whose lives have been marked by anti-social behaviour have a 67 percent chance to have a physically aggressive child if they smoke 10 cigarettes a day while pregnant, compared with 16 percent for those who are non-smokers or who smoke fewer than 10 cigarettes a day. Smoking also seems to be an aggravating factor, although less pronounced, in mothers whose anti-social behaviour is negligible or zero."

Other factors contributing to aggressiveness in preschool kids, sayeth the study: "mothers who are younger than 21, who smoke and who coerce their children to behave." Also, "children from families who earned less than $40,000 per year were at an increased risk for aggressive behaviour." Which I guess means that families earning less than $40,000 are more likely to have aggressive children whether mom puffs or not. But the aggressiveness INCREASED in those families if mom smoked, and DECREASED if she didn't.

Are you bored yet?

Here's my issue with studies like this. We know smoking while pregnant is a bad idea. (Like playing piano in a marching band, as they say on The Animaniacs.) So what exactly is the point of this study? What did we find out, that families with less money and a mother with a nicotine addiction are more likely to have children who exhibit "aggressive behaviour", as defined by a certain specific "behaviours"? So what? How about a study that looks at methods that might help those kids deal with their aggression?

Reading this study makes me feel very aggressive. I need to go bite something. But since my mother doesn't smoke, I'll just bite into a sandwich.

Source: Science Daily

Image: Church Times

Third Hand Smoke Can Harm Your Kids

They Say -- Kids Who Skip Breakfast and Hate Mom Have Sex Sooner

They Say -- Vaccines Work

Mom Shoplifts Parenting Book With Kids in Tow

They Say: Medidation May Help Ease Kids' ADHD

Toddler Injured in Xmas Tree Fight Between Mom and Grandma

Dad Jailed for Head-Butting Tot

JeanneSager — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 15:01:00 GMT

A Michigan dad is in jail for allegedly head-butting his two-year-old daughter; and I can see a long line of parents kicking themselves for trying the same trick.

Think about it. The little girl had climbed on his lap, and her head hit his. So he used his head to butt her forehead. She had some swelling, but nothing that required hospitalization. It hardly sounds like a case of major child abuse.

The details of the case are limited, so I can't say honestly say whether or not Dwayne Rowe blew his top and deserves to be jailed. I'm certainly not saying that violence is the best way to go, and someone who saw this happen apparently thought this was bad enough to call the cops.

So let's take this out of the Rowe home and into yours. Your two-year-old climbs up on your lap, she slams her head into yours because she thinks it's funny. What do you do?

At that age, a lot of kids like to headbutt. My daughter used to sit on my lap and throw herself backward - hitting my forehead, my chest, my glasses . . . whatever was in the way. I had to start holding my hand out, just behind her head, essentially keeping her head in place so she couldn't use it as a battering ram. That's probably the best (non-violent) way of getting kids to stop this - they start to get angry because they realize they can't freely move their heads. It's not fun for anyone - but they need to learn that hurting someone else isn't funny.

I didn't head-butt her, but I've seen parents try it. It's akin to the "bite the biting child" trick. Does the shock value of the act - teaching a child that their actions really hurt - make this OK? Or is head-butting just another way a parent crosses the line?

Image: BBC

They Say: Heat Won't Really Escape Through Their Heads

Indian Child Welfare Act: Bad for Parents?

Jersey Dad Fakes His Own Son's Death for Money

Hitting the Bottle: We've Got Your Alibi

Daycare Provides Bites Child in the Back

Jen Chaney — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:32:00 GMT

Here's a little tip for anyone who runs or works at a daycare center: Unless you want to get your license revoked, you probably should not bite the kids in your care.

Erin LaBarge of Norwood, N.Y. totally missed that memo. A few weeks ago, as reported by News 10 Now, LaBarge admitted to biting a two-year-old boy that she cares for during the day. She openly told the boy's mother, Miranda Vari, that she sunk her teeth into the child, but Vari didn't fully grasp the information. She assumed LaBarge meant she had given him a tiny, playful bite.

After returning home, Vari's son Kole began complaining about a boo boo on his back. While changing his diaper, Vari found the sizeable bruise, where teeth marks were still visible. Giving LaBarge the benefit of the doubt, Vari called to ask the woman exactly where she had bitten Kole. She confirmed that it was on his back. Kole's parents then reported the incident to the police and Social Services.

The News 10 story says LaBarge's daycare license was revoked and she was charged with one count of endangering a minor, but it also says she is still allowed to care for two unrelated children at a time. My guess is most parents pulled their kids out of that daycare so quickly it didn't matter, but that still strikes me as strange. If her license has been revoked and she has a charge like that on her record, it seems like she shouldn't be caring for any kids, at least until she seeks some sort of help.

The story also doesn't explain what motivated LaBarge to bite, which is what I find most puzzling. Was Kole misbehaving? Had he bitten her and she wanted to teach him a lesson? Neither scenario justifies the behavior, of course. But I am just baffled by what could motivate an adult, a person who had been a licensed daycare provider for the past six years, to do such a thing.

Aside from being just plain bizarre, this story is a reminder of how important it is to thoroughly vet any daycare center or nanny. Get references. Check on their licensing and, if possible, find out if any formal complaints have been filed against them. Visit the center or the provider and, most importantly, go with you gut instincts about whether the care offered will be what's best for your child.

Even after doing all of that, sometimes the unexpected can still happen. Vari claims that LaBarge was a family friend, so she probably felt she could trust her. But apparently sometimes basic trust isn't enough to save your kid from getting a nasty bite in the back.

Image: News10Now.com

Mom Bites Kid, Mom Goes to Jail

JeanneSager — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:31:00 GMT

No wonder our kids are so miserable to be around when they’re teething – those suckers are sharp. And no one knows it better than us – their parents. Because they like to bite US.

But if you’ve ever considered sinking your teeth into a chubby little hand to show them just what it feels like, listen up: A 28-year-old mom in England was sentenced to five months in jail this week. Her crime? She bit her 5-year-old.

The mom, whose name has not been released to the British press, said the little boy hurt his 8-month-old sister, and she sank her teeth into his arm. Although the bites did not break the skin, she did leave bruises. When the boy appeared at school with mouth-sized welts on his arms, staff called police.

Judge Mark Horton took issue with the fact that the mother acted in a “vengeful” manner toward her child, enacting revenge for what she thought the little boy had done to his sister. “There can be few offences (sic) more likely to cause anger and desire for retribution from the public than a case of a parent who maliciously and without cause assaults her own child. The fact you did so by biting, not simply striking this child, only inflames the circumstances of this offence.

“It can only be seen as a desire to cause the child pain by way of revenge which caused the bite,” he continued.

What I have trouble with is his assertion that biting a child is somehow worse than striking them. I’ve never been a big fan of corporal punishment, in part because I know my own limits. When I see red, I walk away so I don’t step over that line out of pure rage. But I don’t fault a parent who decides it’s worth a smack on the hand when a child gets near a hot oven, or a tap on the tush when a child continuously puts him or herself in danger.

But is biting crossing the line? Is using your mouth and not breaking the skin worse than taking a hairbrush or wooden spoon to a child’s hind end? I find it hard to believe that a mom or dad who spanks a child with a switch doesn’t “intend to cause the child pain.”

By the way, if you’ve ever considered biting after seeing stars when your 2-year-old took yet another chunk out of your hand, have heart. It’s a pretty normal reaction. And sometimes, kids need to know that what they’re doing hurts someone else. Which is why I don’t have a lot of sympathy when another kid bites my daughter on the playground. Now you know what it feels like, honey.

Source: The Evening Standard

Image: LabGP & SigOther

Texas Judge Orders Woman to Stop Bearing Children

Dad Dumps Nine Kids Under Nebraska Safe Haven Law

For Dad: How to Beat Up Your Daughter's Boyfriend and Not Get Caught

When They Can Curse in Context

How to Annoy Your Sister: Advertise on Craigslist

When is Too Young to Teach Them 911?

Can a Mom be 'Too Dumb' to Parent?

Babble Talk: Kids Who Bite, and the Parents Who Fear Them

Jen Chaney — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Kate Tuttle has a son who bites. And throws things. And sometimes scratches.

In this Babble essay, she writes about the occasional shame that comes from having a child in an aggressive phase. But she also talks about how it makes her even more aware of her love for her boy, and convinced that the intense feelings he can't control now may become strengths as he grows older. It's a good read. But as I reflected on the emotions Kate covers, I realized there was one she skipped: Fear.

My son isn't officially a biter. He hasn't gotten into trouble at daycare, for example. At least not yet. But he does love to throw objects -- remote controls, telephones, Fisher Price toy fish bowls that, frankly, should be too heavy for him to lift -- around the house. He also has a tendency to gnaw on his relatives. He once left a mark on my mother-in-law. And while giving his dad a hug the other day, he started to chew on my husband's pants in an area that, um, could get dicey if he took too big of a chomp.

When my son gets into wild-boy mode, I sometimes get scared, but mostly for him. My mind tends to fast-forward and see the disaster that could unfold: If Luke throws that plastic basketball and it hits the dog, the dog may get freaked and snap at him. The other thing that frightens me, and this is something Kate touched on, is his response when I reprimand him for such behavior. When I say, "No biting," or "We don't throw that," he often laughs.

It might be my imagination, but that laughter sometimes sounds a little devilish. And I go, wait a second, am I raising a sweet little boy or the Joker?

I know the answer is the former, but when your kid's got a mouth semi-full of sharp teeth and he's not afraid to use them, sometimes it's hard not to get spooked. Am I alone in this? Has your toddler's behavior ever conjured a brief moment of fear?

Image: Angie McKaig/Babble.com

Maybe these pit bulls are dangerous

Brett Singer — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I'm a dog lover (though not a dog owner), so I'm usually willing to sympathize with people that blame bad owners when their pooch attacks someone.

But with so many pit bull attacks, maybe these muscular little k-9's don't make the greatest pets.

Henry Piotrowski, a 90-year-old man in Staten Island, was attacked by two pit bulls and had to have his leg amputated. According to NY1, the owner, James McNair, allows the dogs to wander the neighborhood sans leash; Piotrowski was attacked outside his home.

Then there's the sad tale of Kamar Reynolds, a 3-year-old Brooklyn boy who had an ear bitten off by a pit bull a few days ago. He seems to be recovering nicely, or as nicely as he can, considering the fact that he had to have his ear reattached.

Now, to be fair, this particular incident happened because some jerk threw his dog through an open window into a room full of kids, including Kamar. The dog has been put to sleep, the owner is being held "on charges of assault and criminal possession of a weapon - the dog." I've never heard of a dog being classified as a weapon, but this probably isn't the first time.

Are there any stories of poodles attacking people? Chihuahuas? Pugs? Golden retrievers? Labs? Maybe it happens and isn't reported. But I sort of doubt it.

This may be a bit of a stretch, but I think you can draw a parallel with gun ownership. Yes, guns don't kill people, people kill people. But one way to ensure that nobody gets accidentally shot is to not have a gun in the house.

Are pit bulls the doggy equivalent of a loaded gun? Or is it just stupid owners?

image: nydailynews

Related:

Pit bull attacks one-year-old girl

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:29:00 GMT

A pit bull in Greensboro, NC attacked a one-year-old girl. How does something like this happen? The dog is a pet, and the child went to touch the pooch's puppies; when she did, the dog bit her.

The dog is now in an animal shelter for at least 10 days, or "longer if they can't determine if the dog has current vaccinations for rabies." I thought you had to keep records of that sort of thing, but maybe not.

The two comments on the site where I found this story are a bit over the top but do make a good point: "The big question is--where were the parents?" To paraphrase, leaving a little girl, especially a one-year-old, alone with a new mama pit bull and her litter is probably not a great idea.

If you look at the "Related Links" for this story on digitrad.com, it seems like there's an awful lot of pit bull attacks going on in North Carolina. One dog was put to sleep two years ago after attacking two kids, and this story where a pit bull killed another family's pet a month ago. In that case, the owner asked the now-really-unfortunate question, "What if this was a child?"

The little girl – a baby, really – is recovering at a local hospital. Hopefully she'll be OK.

For a video report, click here.

image: digitrad.com

Pregnancy Can't Be Good For Paris Hilton, She Can't Even Care For Puppies!

Pregnant Wife Killed for Refusing Sex

Dog Rips Off Baby's Genitals

Baby-Proofing the Pooch

Nipping Bad Behavior in the Bud

Amy Kuras — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:13:00 GMT

It's happened to everyone . Either we are parenting one or we've had an unfortunate encounter with the special variety of little terror known as The Biter.

Mine will, when she's pissed at me, actually grab my arm and try to bite it (which buys her a immediate trip to the time-out step, I might add). She's three and not gifted with extraordinary impulse control. She's also been the bite-ee, when a girl who is now one of her best friends started at her school and my daughter had the unfortunate experience of grabbing a toy she wanted.

Aaaannnndd maybe just maybe I clearly remember biting my brother so hard when we were little I broke the skin.
So it's not something I tend to flip out about, although I don't look the other way either. And I have been validated by this story in The Age, out of Australia.

In addition to quoting the awesomely named Ulrich Fegeler, spokesman for a Munich-based pediatricians association, the article says that for young kids, biting is usually an expression of frustration. Positive reinforcement – praising them when they are nice or share – can help. So can not saying negative things about the kid doing the biting, but letting them know its unacceptable and hurts people. Often, they don’t even realize it hurts because it doesn't cause them pain.
If your child is aggressive and persistent with the biting, talk to their pediatrician, the article says, but otherwise not to worry.

Photo: lemonysnicket.com

Strollerderby : biting

Mom Arrested for Biting Slow-eating Son

They Say: Smoking While Pregnant Makes Kids Aggressive

Should Smoking Be Banned In Cars With Kids?

Third Hand Smoke Can Harm Your Kids

They Say -- Kids Who Skip Breakfast and Hate Mom Have Sex Sooner

They Say -- Vaccines Work

Mom Shoplifts Parenting Book With Kids in Tow

They Say: Medidation May Help Ease Kids' ADHD

Toddler Injured in Xmas Tree Fight Between Mom and Grandma

Dad Jailed for Head-Butting Tot

Aussie Firewall: Stepping into Parents' Shoes?

They Say: Heat Won't Really Escape Through Their Heads

Indian Child Welfare Act: Bad for Parents?

Jersey Dad Fakes His Own Son's Death for Money

Hitting the Bottle: We've Got Your Alibi

Daycare Provides Bites Child in the Back

Mom Bites Kid, Mom Goes to Jail

Babble Talk: Kids Who Bite, and the Parents Who Fear Them

Maybe these pit bulls are dangerous

Pit bull attacks one-year-old girl

Pit bull attacks one-year-old girl

Pregnancy Can't Be Good For Paris Hilton, She Can't Even Care For Puppies!

Pregnant Wife Killed for Refusing Sex

Dog Rips Off Baby's Genitals

Baby-Proofing the Pooch

Nipping Bad Behavior in the Bud