Strollerderby : bizarre

Kid's Hair Chewing Almost Kills Her

JeanneSager — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

That's it. I'm scheduling a haircut for my daughter.

After years of pulling it out of her mouth and saying "don't chew on your hair," I read this: a five-year-old in England swallowed so much of her own hair that it formed a rope that was constricting her organs.

Yes, her hair almost killed her.

Yum. Is it bad to say I chuckled a little at the fact that they called this Rapunzel syndrome (Rapunzel, Rapunzel, poop out your hair)? Come on, she survived! The tot, Millie Wallis, was suffereing from stomach aches for months, and visits to the doctor and hospital turned up nothing for half a year. Finally an "internal scan" revealed a large foreign object in her stomach. They thought it was a tumor until they went in and found the rope of hair, stretching from the stomach down farther in the digestive tract, cutting through her bowel.

It's a worst case scenario, I know. But it's none too pleasant pulling hairs out of your kid's butt because they've swallowed them and they're just sort of hanging out there (sorry for the TMI), so my warning still stands - let them eat cake . . . not hair.

Image: Daily Mail

via Jezebel

Ten of the Best Lines from Kiddie Lit

Creepiest Baby Shower Cake Ever

SunnyChanel — Sat, 23 May 2009 18:30:00 GMT

When you think baby shower cakes you generally think of a pastel blue or pink towers of frothy confection. When hosts of the party decide to get all ‘fancy’ and creative with the cake, it’s usually along the lines of recreating a tower of blocks, a rubber ducky or a baby’s bassinet not a recreation of an actual birth.

This is by far the craziest baby shower cake ever. The ‘Push Olivia Push’ baby shower cake is an anatomically correct depiction of the honoree’s upcoming birth. Original, unique, and wacky but something about marrying a vaginal birth and dessert just isn’t that appetizing.

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

A girl in Fort Lauderdale, Florida took her dad's car while he was visiting her much younger sibling (19 months old) at the hospital. She's 12. She drove around without the headlights on and hit a police car.

Her dad isn't messing around. He asked police to charge his daughter with grand theft auto. Not the video game -- the crime.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, this is the second time the girl has stolen her dad's car, according to the AP. On the other hand, it's your daughter. Do you really want her to rot in jail? Is that likely to help?

Something similar happened on 'Gossip Girl' this season. (Yes! I know. You think I'm nuts. Stay with me for a moment.) Lillian Van der Woodsen gives her daughter Serena an expensive bracelet, which is a family heirloom. Then, when Serena does something Lily doesn't like (it's not worth explaining what that was), she calls the police and tells them Serena stole the bracelet. Serena goes to jail. Not exactly the same situation of course, but similar enough. Choosing whether or not to send my kid to jail is a choice I hope I never have to make.

(Side note: what the heck is in the water in Florida? Crazy juice?)

What would you do if your kid were a repeat offender? Turn them over to the police or try something else?

Source: AP via Fox News

Image: SXC

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Not Every Kid With a Mother Has a "Mommy"

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Colbert to Food Movement Guy: Yes, But Were YOU Breastfed?

Single Mom Sells Ad Space On Her Body on eBay

Adopted Brother Was Living Across The Street

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 19:30:00 GMT

This is nice. And bizarre. But still nice.

Joellen Cottrell gave birth at the tender of 16. She gave the child up for adoption. Later, Joellen had a daughter, Candace Eloph, and told her that somewhere out there, she had a half-brother.

30 years later, Candace moves to Shreveport, Louisiana. Some guy named Jamie Wheat lives across the street. One day they're chatting, and find out that Jamie was adopted. And that Candace's mother gave someone up for adoption. They compare notes. Lots of coincidences.

Except that they weren't coincidences. Turns out Jamie Wheat was Joellen Cottrell's biological son.

To make sure, Joellen and Jamie took DNA tests, which showed a 99.995% chance that they were related. Bingo. CNN has video of the family opening the envelope:

Embedded video from CNN Video

If the video won't play, click here.

What are the odds? They have to be astronomical, right? It certainly beats the switched at birth story.

Side note: on today's Babble Talk Radio, Shannon gave us a lot to think about regarding adoption. Click here to listen.

Source: CNN

Babble Talk Radio - Friday May 22 - Listen Here

Third Grader Expelled Because He Made A Hit List

Boy Scouts Say Your Kid is Too Fat

More Babies Named After Sports Figure than President

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Single Mom Sells Ad Space On Her Body on eBay

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:30:00 GMT

One of the things I've always admired about myself (stay with me here) is my ability to work. Ever since I was 16, I've had a job of some sort. Part of that is my skill set -- being able to yak on the phone enabled me to have an embarrassing number of telemarketing jobs, for example -- and part of it is my willingness to find a job and do it, even if its not something I have any interest in. If you need money, you get a job. This isn't to say that this is easy, especially in the current economy. But my feeling was always that no job was beneath me.

My point here is not to toot my own horn. But I was thinking about my job experiences when I read this story on MomLogic about a single mom, BillieJean Irizarry, who tried to sell advertising on her body via eBay. In her mind, this was the best way to make money to support her family.

That can't be the best way to make money. It just can't. I find it hard to believe that there is nothing woman can do. This is someone who, in my opinion, wants to be famous. Now she's "the single mom who tried to sell ad space on her body." Whoo-hoo. Mission accomplished.

Proving my point (sort of) is this: BillieJean was asking $2000 but only got offers of $250. I guess that's a faster way to get $250 than working for minimum wage, but how often can you do that? She has accepted this, telling MomLogic "This idea isn't selling, so I am thinking of doing something else to make money." Oh! Great news. BUT... "I am not sure what it is at this moment, but stay tuned to my eBay page."

If you need money, get a real job. Sorry. Yes, there are circumstances -- living with her who have health problems and are unable to help her watch her three children. But there is absolutely no way that the only option available is eBay. Maybe if she were trying to sell her possessions online, that would be better. But that's it? That's your idea?

What do you think?

Source: MomLogic

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

UPDATE: Dad Who Forced Son To Get Tattoo is Arrested

Women Switched at Birth Find Out 56 Years Later

Girl has Five Spleens, Two Left Lungs and Huge Grin

JeanneSager — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:27:00 GMT

I can only handle so many tragic medical stories involving kids in one week.

After the eight-year-old with ovarian cancer and the ten-year-old with breast cancer, I'd say Strollerderby has given you your quota this week. But this is a story you might want to read anyway.

Because six-year-old Bethany Jordan has the biggest grin I've seen on any kid.

They call her the Jigsaw Kid because she's "been pieced together" differently than anyone else, the markers of the rare Ivemark Syndrome which she was born with. She has five spleens and two left lungs. You can see her heart beat through the skin of her back, and her stomach is on the wrong side. Her heart had a hole in it when she was born, and her liver was backward.

OK, enough with the bad stuff.

Doctors thought she'd have Down Syndrome. She doesn't. They thought she'd be brain damaged. She isn't. They thought she'd never survive the birth. She's now six.

And just look at that cheese.

What's that they say about lemons and lemonade? I'll be sipping on this one all Memorial Day weekend.

Image: Daily Mail

Class Rings for Your Pre-Schooler?

JeanneSager — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:37:00 GMT

Who knew? All this time I was saving up my money to pay my daughter's pre-school tuition, and I should have been setting some aside for a class ring.

Because every toddler needs a shiny piece of metal they will either lose or grow out of within the next six months, right? I said right?

Thanks go to Jackie Burrell over at About.com's parenting blog for pointing this one in my direction, because I'm definitely an unfit parent here (apparently). I have not ponied up the $19.95 for a "day care" ring "Handcrafted from the finest .925 pure silver." And somehow I get the feeling we won't be plunking down the cash for the kindergarten version either (although that .925 pure silver is sounding awfully tempting).

Seriously, I am ready to shed buckets of tears at my daughter's pre-school graduation. I even expect to put down the money for a teeny gown an mortarboard as parents around here have done for generations (I recently found the picture of my daughter's nursery school teacher at HER graduation in said gown and board in back issues of the community paper where I'm on staff).

But I draw the line at class rings. Especially considering I haven't seen my high school ring since . . . um, pretty much since high school. Probably tenth grade? About two weeks after I got it and abandoned it on my dresser?

And don't get me started on those keychain tassels. How many latchkey pre-schoolers do you know? They're at least twelve years away from a rear view window to drape it over folks (sixteen years from the day they arrive on a college campus and yank it OFF the rear view before any of their new uber cool roommates catch sight of it).

What do you think Babble readers? Silly or sounds like a must-have?

Image: Oak Hall Cap and Gown

Cops Taser Toy Panther

JeanneSager — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:35:00 GMT

If you've ever been terrified by one of your kids' all-too-lifelike toys in the middle of the night, don't despair. At least you didn't call out a team of cops to Taser your daughter's stuffed animal.

The black panther lurking near a playground that set a father on edge, prompting him to make an anxious call to 911 turned out to be the work of a prankster. But cops didn't know until AFTER they'd shot the big fluffy toy with a stun gun (give them all the benefit of the doubt - it was dark, and there were kids around, which makes parents and police alike more nervous about dangers).

The response cost the city around $1,000, and they're searching for the prankster to charge him for making a public nuisance (and hopefully recoup the money). The question I'm begging to ask?

Who buys their kid a life-like panther? We're not talking your warm and fuzzy critter over here. Meat-eaters, they have been known to attack humans (although they try to avoid us), and with few predators they tend to reign supreme out in the wild. And, hello, they like to rip their prey limb from limb?

And this you want your kid cuddling with at night? Eeek!

Give me a nice stuffed puppy any day.

Image: NBC

Dad Calls Cops for Son's Messy Room

JeanneSager — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:07:00 GMT

As parents we are always looking for a little vindication, right? Especially when our kids have done something that really sets us on edge and yet, we have acted calmly, rationally . . . or at least not pitched a toddler-style fit of our own?

I've got some good news for parents who have thrown up their hands at their kids' messy rooms.

At least your kid isn't twenty-eight, living at home and in need of some tips on how to tame the trash. Oh yeah, and at least you haven't called the cops to make your kid get his tuchas in gear.

It's exactly what a dad in Ohio did last week, calling 911 in utter frustration at his adult son. He's since apologized, but I'm not sure whether to feel sorry for the dad or pull a Cher a la Moonstruck and tell the man to "snap out of it."

I'm imagining a twenty-eight-year-old man who can't get off his butt and clean up his room now couldn't do it back in his first go-round of living home with dad. Which puts all the arguments over my daughter's messy room in a whole new light. Everytime we go another go-round, I figure I'm saving my daughter from an adulthood of being a disgusting slob.

Because it can be much easier to just give in and clean your kid's room. I remember doing it back when I shared a room with my little brother, throwing in the towel after weeks long stand-offs that involved him continuing to throw clothes and toys on the floor. I responded with trash bag in hand. Ah, revenge was sweet (midnight walks to the bathroom without stubbing my toe were even sweeter).

With my daughter, I've managed so far to stand my ground. She's just shy of four, so we're still at a point where we clean her room together, but she plays a big role in that process. We assign particular roles, and she sets off on stuffed animal duty or packing her dress-up clothes back in the dress-up trunk. Will I ever give up and spend an afternoon in the room with a trash bag in hand? Theoretically, it could happen, but I'd like to think that early years of pitching in will lead to do-it-yourself versions in her teen years.

Do you make your kids clean their rooms or do you do it for them?

Image: Boston Globe

Twins Have One Mom, Two Different Dads

JeanneSager — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:33:00 GMT

Anyone who has operated on the premise that you can't get any MORE pregnant listen up.

A Texas mom has given birth to two babies at the same time, with two different dads. Technically, the little boys are twins, but their features were so dissimilar their mom became suspicious and went to lab to check the boys' paternity.

The tests showed a .001 chance that the boys shared a father. Which medical experts means mom Mia Washington had sex with two different guys within twenty-four to forty-eight hours of each other. And unprotected sex we'd imagine.

There is a happy ending for Washington and her twins - she's apparently made up with partner James Harrison, he's forgiven her infidelity and agreed to raise both boys as his own. They're now expecting their third child (well, his second) together.

And the experts weighing in on this case are all pointing to the statistical impossibility of this happening - one doc told the NY Daily News that without fertility drugs, the chances are one in one hundred of a double pregnancy in this manner.

Still, one in one hundred? With the amount of baby making sex some couples have when they're desperately trying, I wonder how many fraternal twins out there were conceived in a similar manner, only with the same father. Without that major difference in features, and without the difference in paternity, I guess there's no way we'll ever know.

Image: Daily Mail

CO Uses Stun Gun on Kids

JeanneSager — Mon, 04 May 2009 12:32:00 GMT

Fueling the fire for critics of Take Your Son and Daughter to Work Day, one bone-headed corrections officer is using the "but their parents said I could" defense for using a stun gun on a group of kids on the job for the day with Mom and Dad.

Sgt. Walter Schmidt claims he wanted to show the kids what mom and dad's jobs are really like at the Franklin Correctional Institute. Uh huh, because most corrections officers we know face daily doses of fifty thousand volts being shot through their bodies.

At least one of the kids shocked had to be taken to the hospital, and Schmidt has been terminated after fourteen years on the job. His post at time of the incident was arsenal sergeant.

"You tased at least two kids to demonstrate the EID, which is in direct violation of procedure and placed the department at risk of litigation," wrote Warden Duffie Harrison in a letter to Schmidt.

The U.S. Department of Justice OKs the use of the EIDs when "used properly, at the correct moment, and when alternatives have been exhausted." Of course, that's for use on criminals - not kids. And still, Schmidt is telling papers that he thought the big "shock" was in getting fired because he didn't meant to be malicious.

Frankly, I think the parents who said "sure" to having their kids shocked with this thing are nuts (stun guns have been known to kill people). They, just like Schmidt, should have known better. And if he lacks the good sense to know not to use this on kids, who knows how judicious he was in using the gun on inmates?

What do you think parents? Bonehead move or is this guy being treated too harshly?

Image: Bollyn

What Would Jesus Build Out of LEGO?

JeanneSager — Sat, 02 May 2009 19:28:00 GMT

If your kids get this into LEGO, you might want to sign them up for the nearest seminary.

Proving the theory that LEGOs are good for the soul, a Protestant Church in Sweden has built a life-size Jesus statue . . . completely out of the itty bitty bricks.

Whether kids were actually part of the band of forty volunteers who spend a full year and a half on the sculpture, they don't say, but the kids in the congregation were allowed to run their hands all over the mega Messiah when he was revealed.

Extra cool? The church used donated bricks from families - and they managed to use all the colored bricks to build the core. I don't know about your LEGO collection, but white blocks don't play heavily into ours - so the fact that they found that many to make an all-white savior is kind of a miracle unto itself!

Image: AP

Kid Flies Across Country And No One Notices

JeanneSager — Fri, 01 May 2009 13:25:00 GMT

If it sounds like a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick that's popular on date night, you're not far off. A boy used his father's credit card, hopped a plane and was across the country before anyone had missed him.

Only this kid wasn't looking for a lady love for dad. And he went in the opposite direction (East Coast to West rather than Seattle to New York). Oh yeah, and this wasn't a movie.

The thirteen-year-old was a real live boy who stole Dad's car during the night (while he was sleeping), drove thirty miles to an airport and THEN boarded a plane for parts unknown.

Kenton Weaver flew from Florida, where he lives with his father, to California, where his mother lives. But no one one the flight said a word. It wasn't until Weaver was at a ticket counter in California that the boy (who reportedly falls somewhere on the autism spectrum - making this all the more incredible) was found by some sort of authority.

His mom, Kim Casey, says Kenton is extremely bright but his Asperger's means he lacks common sense and inhibitions that would probably have kept other kids from pulling off this kind of feat. But that's another reason the boy's father, Dale Weaver, is shocked no one noticed a thirteen-year-old on a cross-continental flight. Not only did he not have ID, but Dale said his son can be a handful.

Kenton is OK - that's the best part of this story. And apparently has dreams of being a pilot, so a ride in an airplane was probably the highlight of his day, week, month. . .

But how does this make you feel about so-called airport security? Are they so focused on making us take our shoes off and trashing our tweezers that they're missing the big picture? Like thirteen-year-old kids with no ID getting on planes alone?

Image: eFitness

Mom Boots Bickering Kids from Car (You Know You've Wanted To)

KeriF — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:30:00 GMT

I won't pretend to scratch my head in ignorance, wondering how on earth a mother could kick her children to the curb after they fail to heed the 87th warning to "STOP FIGHTING RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR I PROMISE YOU I'LL PULL RIGHT OVER AND LEAVE YOU TWO ON THE STREET DON'T TEMPT ME I'LL REALLY DO IT!"

I completely understand the urge. I've felt the urge, after driving 3.8 miles with the feet of a 3-year-old planted firmly in my back, or listening to yet another argument between my son and his cousin about whether or not the Beast dies at the end of Beauty and the Beast, or hearing my 8-year-old niece wax poetic about how wonderful girls are and how yucky boys are, all within earshot of my two adorable (and yes, sometimes yucky) boys, or simmering with a migraine while five kids in the car decide to see who can scream the loudest.

But unlike this woman, I never acted on that urge.

Madlyn Primoff, a 45-year-old lawyer (lawyer! So she can't even claim she didn't know that abandoning her kids was illegal!) left her kids in downtown White Plains, NY after they wouldn't stop fighting in the car. Her 12-year-old daughter ran after Mom's car, where she was let in and joined Mom in her escape home to Scarsdale. The 10-year-old daughter stood on the street crying, until a good samaritan called the police (after buying the little girl ice cream).

Here's the kicker: Before police were able to get in touch with Mom, she called police herself to report her daughter "missing."

Primoff was arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child and being really, really, really stupid. She is temporarily forbidden contact with her daughters.

Do you have an ounce of sympathy for this woman?

When are Kids Old Enough to Watch Star Wars?

Mom, That Cuts! No, Really

JeanneSager — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:26:00 GMT

Here's a way to guarantee your kids will only say I love you from the other side of bulletproof glass: pull a butcher knife on them.

It's what a Florida mom booked on child abuse charges is said to have done.

Natasha Brinkley's kids came home from a friend's house exhausted, and not up to answering her questions. She supposedly threatened to leave, saying no one loved Mommy, and got angry that the kids wouldn't respond that they DID love her. That's when the kids' dad says she started screaming and cursing, and he told the kids to leave the room. He alleges Brinkley threw a small glass table at the kids as they left the room, and when they turned to comfort her, she pulled out the butcher knife.

Clearly this is a problem parent (at least one who needs to steer clear of sharp objects), but have you ever gotten to the point where you felt like your kids were taking you for granted, and all it would take to clear it up was a "hey, Mommy, I love you"? I try to hold firm on punishments for my daughter, but I've got to tell you, I melt at an "I love you."

Image: Amazon

Amy Winehouse Writing a Children's Book

JeanneSager — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

The best word to describe my daughter's library? Eclectic. We have the bunnies saying goodnight to their room on through to stories about funky jazz cats.

But here's where I may have to draw the line: Amy Winehouse says she'll be writing a children's book about her life.

Done sputtering?

There's no doubt the English singer is a talented writer - at least somewhere beyond the booze, the drugs and the face scratching. Her jazzy fifties influence to pop has been refreshing, her awards well-deserved. But how will her life translate into a children's book?

A glance: Newspapers have published pictures of her smoking crack, she's been hospitalized for ODing on a mixture of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, ketamine and alcohol (all in one night), she's admitted to self-cutting, and she's landed in jail for assault. How many times has this chick been to the rehab she sings about? And should we mention her song titles? Hello, F--k Me Pumps.

If she's writing a cautionary tale of how to end up looking like you're forty when you're four, she's got plenty of fodder.

I've always said the danger of trying to make celebrities into role models for kids is the fact that they are human too - just because they're famous doesn't make them any more fit for the job than the rest of us. And if you want your kid to grow up to be Amy Winehouse, you might want to check yourself into rehab.

With all the creativity of Babble readers, I figure we can help Amy come up with titles for her foray into the world of kiddie lit. Here's a few from me and my colleagues here on the 'derby:

Baby Goes to Rehab
Baby Got Crack (Pipe)
How To Hide Pot In The Potty
Arsenic, Baby Powder and Cocaine: Substance Abuse ABCs
F--k Me Stride Rite
Beehives for Babies
Back to Crack
Smoke Away Your Baby Fat
Nursery F--kery
They're trying to make me go to preschool, but I said no, no, no

Come on readers, help us out!

Image: Wikipedia

Playdate: How to Exploit Your Own Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:25:00 GMT

OK, we're not actually suggesting you exploit your kids. But this guy is!

Meet Mel Kane and his bad eighties era how-to on getting your kids into commercials. Fat kids (yes, he really said that), thin kids, short kids, tall kids! He sounds like a bad Dr. Seuss impression, only he's dead serious.

And what fun it is! He picks apart a kid who looks like she's acting ultra hard to be not interested in what's going on (and probably getting paid very well), and lets you parents of twins out there know you've got a hot commodity or two on your hands.

AdFreak dug this one up, and it's worth taking a look for the laugh at the giant glasses and poufy hair alone. And, you know, if you want to make money off your fat kid.

Have fun in Hollywood.

Also on Babble:

Bad Parent: Stage Mother

Playmobil Sues Priest For Playing With Toys

JeanneSager — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:32:00 GMT

The idea of buying kids toys is to play with them, right? Even if you're an adult who happens to like playing with kids toys in order to amuse little kids?

Not according to Playmobil.

The toymakers known for their bizarre sense of what kids like to play with (the airport security checkpoint still blows my mind) are now suing a German priest who was using Playmobil's little people to recreate scenes from the Bible for little kids.

Father Markus Bomhard, from the Protestant Community of Eschborn, created the "Playmo-Bibel" (spelling is correct - this is Germany, after all) says on his site that he got the idea from his own daughters - who wanted to know why there was no "Playmo" minister toy. They used their own Playmobil toys to recreate everyday life, he said, so why not the Bible?

Broken down into the Old Testament and the New, his site is mostly pictures taken of his little scenes, from Adam and Eve to the last supper, plus scenes from church life, including a wedding.

But according to the Daily Telegraph, lawyers for Playmobil have told Bomhard he didn't get their permission for the project, so he must stop photographing the toys and using the name Playmobil. OK, the latter part I get - it's trademarked after all.

Here's the crazy part: the Telegraph reports, "the German firm is understood to be horrified that the scenes could offend people of other religion." This from the company that sells a Playmobil nativity set and an advent calendar set?

Their biggest gripe is apparently that Bomhard dared dress the characters up. As a Playmobil rep told the Telegraph, "We've got no problem with using the figures as they are in their original costumes. What we are on about is redesigning them and changing their appearance."

Isn't that what you make toys for? For people to play with, reimagine, redecorate and redesign? Because if we're not supposed to redesign toys, I imagine Fisher-Price will be coming for my daughter any day now . . . something about cutting all the hair off of Big Sister Dora.

Image: Telegraph - from Father Bomhard's Playmo-Bibel

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Judge to Mom: Spank Your Kid or Pay Up

JeanneSager — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:22:00 GMT

A judge who ordered parents to paddle their children with a wooden board in an open courtroom or face hefty fines has been warned his mode of punishment is not acceptable by a Texas judicial conduct panel.

Well Gawd bless those Texans for some common sense.

Judge Gustavo Garza has told parents of truant children they would have to pay as much as $500 if they didn't take a board, labeled "board of education" and spank their kids. One dad is suing, saying he reluctantly paddled his stepdaughter, only to have Garza tell him he hadn't hit her hard enough.

Since when does a judge get to advocate violence to prove a point? Because even the pro-spanking crowd has to admit that telling a parent to hit their child with a paddle - and to hit "harder" is something intended to inflict pain.

As Hannah pointed out recently, in all fifty states, it is legal for parents to hit, spank, paddle, or whip their children. Legal, but not required. Just like I can't be compelled to raise my child a Catholic or a Jew or force her to eat meat or not, I can't be forced to use spanking as my form of discipline.

One lawyer likened Garza's courtroom to something out the Jerry Springer Show, and I'd tend to agree. The idea of the law sneaking into parents' homes makes me uncomfortable, and I admit a slight hesitancy in supporting the concept of an anti-spanking law - because I've worried how far-reaching it can go. But when the opposite is in affect, when a judge forces a parent to hit their child, using the force of the law, we're right up there with the countries that practice torture.

What happened to Amendment 8 of the Constitution? You know, the one that says judges shall not call for "cruel or unusual punishments" for criminals? Maybe it's time to take Judge Garza over our knee and show him what it's liked to be punished for abusing his power.

Source/Image: MomLogic

Family Evicted for Having Twins

JeanneSager — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:57:00 GMT

Ever heard of someone too big to fit inside a house? What if that person were two people - two teeny, weeny newborn people?

A Michigan couple learned their newborn twins put them over the limit for space allotted to people in their housing community this week when they received an eviction notice - just after the babies were born.

Mike Morris, Shawnee Crider, and their three kids, moved into Mike's mom's double-wide at the housing complex in Kentwood, Michigan shortly after Mike lost his job . . . and the family lost their house. Shawnee was pregnant with twins when they moved in, and she gave birth shortly after they moved in.

That's when Mike's mom's landlord sent a letter - three adults and five kids was too much for one doublewide, it said. Park regulations require at least two hundred fifty square feet of living space per person. Mike and Shawnee - and their five kids - had to get out.

Mike is still looking for a job, and this is his mom's house - his family who had offered to help them when times got rough. Where are they supposed to go? Although we don't want to send people back to tenement living, when families of ten slept in one bed in one room, there's a reason tenements were popular in the thirties - because everyone was broke.

I'm also not convinced a newborn baby needs two hundred fifty square feet of living space. For what? To stare at while they lie like a lump in Mom's arms? They're not crawling yet, not running around, and they don't spend a whole lot of time not connected to a person (even sleeping they need only the size of a bassinet - and that's if you're not co-sleeping).

Should the landlord update its rules or should they stick by them, regardless of the economy?

Image: WoodTV

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Brett Singer — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

I know there are lots of people out there who regularly scream about how trial lawyers are destroying the world through lawsuits. And doctors are having trouble keeping up with their malpractice insurance payments. But here's a case where I think you'll agree the award isn't enough.

Four years ago, a boy had part of his penis cut off during a circumcision. The part could have been reattached if his pediatrician had acted quickly enough to do so, according to the plaintiff. A Georgia jury agreed and awarded $1.8 million to the boy and $500,000 to his mother. Their names are being kept private, but the doctors' names aren't. They are "Haiba Sonyika, the obstetrician who performed the circumcision, and Cheryl J. Kendall, the pediatrician who treated the child later." The hospital was not found to be at fault.

See, this is a big screw-up, especially the part about the pediatrician not doing enough to re-attach the, um, piece. This is assuming that the jury's verdict is accurate; I don't know the specifics of the case, so I'm going by the article I read.

I'm always curious how a jury comes up with an amount of money in cases like this. This time, the mother received $500,000 for psychotherapy, and the $1.8 million for the boy "was based on a per-day formula for the child's life expectancy."

The attorney for the plaintiffs, David J. Llewellyn, "has been representing victims of wrongful circumcision and genital injury since 1995." So calling him "some dickhead lawyer" isn't an insult. (Sorry. But sometimes they make it so easy.)

Also interesting was the defense team's strategy of loading the jury with women. Another attorney for the plaintiff, Craig T. Jones, thought this wasn't going to work. "I figured if you have one man on the jury, he can explain to the women -- if they don't know -- how important a penis is to a man's self-image." Yeah, even if they don't, I would say cutting off anything that you weren't supposed to during an operation is a bad idea.

Source: Law.com

Image: SXC

Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

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Woman Will Go Free If Son Comes Back To Life

Brett Singer — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:30:00 GMT

In what has to be a first, a Maryland court has accepted a plea bargain where she will testify against her fellow cult members and plead guilty -- unless her son is resurrected.

22-year-old Ria Ramkissoon is accused of refusing to feed her son Javon because "he didn't say 'amen' before breakfast." Ramkissoon and other parents were allegedly ordered to do this by a woman named Queen Antoinette, the leader of a group called One Mind Ministries. Queen Antoinette is charged with murder and child abuse resulting in death; in exchange for her testimony, Ramkissoon will plead guilty only to the latter charge.

Prosecutors do what they have to do to get convictions, so I guess the deal makes sense. In fact, they included very specific stipulations, claiming that the rebirth "would need to be a Jesus-like resurrection…It cannot be a reincarnation in another object or animal." So if Ramkissoon brings in a cabbage and says, "this is my son," no dice.

The only question I have is this: if Ramkissoon said that she believed her son had only traveled to Mars and would return in a year, would the same deal have been offered? Would that belief be any less sane? Is it possible that prosecutors are taking advantage of a mentally damaged individual? Or is this reasonable because the resurrection deal (which hopefully won't become commonplace in our courts) falls under the category of religious beliefs?

That's a tough question to answer, of course. For now, hopefully the people responsible for this horrific crime will be brought to justice.

Source/Image: Washington Post

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Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

Brett Singer — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Next time you have complaints about your children's school, remember this story. Because things could be worse.

According to a report obtained by the Dallas Morning News, school officials at South Oak Cliff High in Texas (ironically known as "SOC", pronounced "sock", as in "sock it to me") had students settle their differences by fighting. In a cage. This did not happen last Tuesday. It happened back in 2003 and continued until 2005. And no one did anything about it.

Listen to this quote:

"Superintendent Michael Hinojosa told the newspaper that there were 'some things that happened inside of a cage' and called the fights 'unacceptable.'"

See, the only thing that should be happening "inside of a cage" at school is a hamster being fed. Maybe a little jog on the ol' exercise wheel. The hamster, I mean. Perhaps a bunny. I'm thinking cages at schools are for class pets. Students generally should not be doing ANYHTING in a cage. Especially at school.

In a blog entry at The Dallas Morning News web site, Kent Fischer digs up a few facts about former SOC principal Donald Moten. Moten allegedly "not only allowed [the fights] to take place, but that he egged on the participants." Hey, at least he wasn't just picking up a paycheck, right? Fischer points out that Moten's other "accomplishments" at SOC include "An athletic grade changing scandal, times two," "Allegations of credit card abuse," "Allegations of inappropriate sexual relations with students' mothers." Oh, and of course -- "Cage fights." The piece questions why Moten was even hired for the $92,000 a year job in the first place, since his employment history includes a stint as a police officer where he faked his own kidnapping.

When I was a student at a New York City Public School, people would always ask me how horrible it must have been. Sure, there were problems. But we never had anything like this. Well, as far as I know.

Source: Yahoo! News

Image: SXC (stock photo)

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Forget the Hospital Gown: Give Birth in Couture

JeanneSager — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 15:32:00 GMT

The last thing I was thinking about as I pushed my daughter into this world was what I was wearing. And here I thought I was totally normal.

For moms who want to look fab even while contracting, there's hope - a new company has introduced a slinky, sleeveless dress just for giving birth.

Says the company literature, "You’re a fashionista in every other aspect of your life, why not when you are bringing new life into the world too?"

What's wrong with this idea? Let me count the disgustingness that is the delivery room bed after you're done giving birth . . . the water breaking, the blood, the poop (dirty little secret there - a LOT of women push out of both ends during the birthing process). Unless you're giving birth at a fancy new birthing center, I'm going to hazard a guess they don't have laundry service. So when you're done dropping all those birthing fluids all over your new gown, you can . . . take it home to wash!

What's wrong with the plain old hospital gown? It's perfectly, functionally ugly. So? Here's a tip - the delivery room is not a catwalk, and the people we care enough to have in there for the birth of our children could give two hoots what we're wearing at that moment. They're there for Mom . . . and to get a glimpse of that little miracle. And if they're picking on the way the green gown contrasts with your pale skin, honey, I give you permission to tell them to get the f--- out of here, NOOOOOOW.

Of course, if you're still craving couture, and you don't want to spend $98 when there's a baby on the way and the economy is in the toilet, you can always win one over at MomLogic this week.

Just let us know how those slinky straps stayed up on your shoulders while you were grabbing your knees and screaming for someone to get this thing out of you.

Image: MomLogic

UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Brett Singer — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:35:00 GMT

UPDATE: Josef Fritzl has been sentenced to life in a psychiatric institution. While onthe surface this seems like justice has been served, The Scotsman says that the ruling means he could be free in 15 years if a doctor says he's been cured of whatever they decide is wrong with him. Basically, Fritzl is eligible for parole in 15 years. It's not a big chance, but it could happen. Which would be bad. The Scotsman's Stephen McGinty does say that, "It is likely...that [Fritzl] will die in prison," since he is 73 years old.

Earlier posts follow.

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Josef Fritzl's daughter Elisabeth testified against him on Tuesday, according to CNN. Thankfully, it was by videotape. Elisabeth and the children she had as a result of her father's abuse are living in an undisclosed location with new identities.

How do you go on after something like that? I'm amazed and oddly impressed that Elisabeth has the strength to go on living, much less testify against her father. Of course, I imagine she would like nothing more than to see him go to prison for the rest of his life.

The case has become a major media event in Austria, with crowds gathering in and out of the courtroom. Press has been barred from certain parts of the trial, including Elisabeth's testimony.

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CNN is reporting that Josef Fritzl will plead guilty to rape and incest on Monday. He will not plead guilty to charges of "murder, enslavement and assault." Fritzl's lawyer says that his client "expects to spend the rest of his life in prison." Um, yeah, that sounds right. That said, the charges he's pleading guilty to carry relatively short prison terms -- five to fifteen years for rape, one year for incest. The biggest is the murder charge, which, as discussed below, some experts think will be tough to prove. I guess it's a good thing that Fritzl will definitely be found guilty of something, although if he goes to jail for only a couple of years, that would be tragic.

Original post follows.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Josef Fritzl, the man who kept his daughter locked in the basement for more than 20 years and impregnated her multiple times, is finally going on trial.

Disturbingly, he may spend only 15 years in jail. Or less.

According to London's Times Online, the "Austrian incest monster" is about to stand trial for "murder, incest, unlawful imprisonment and enslavement." Fritzl thinks that he could receive less than 10 years in prison.

He may be right. Some lawyers feel that the murder charge, which is based on the fact that he allowed one of the children he had with his own daughter to die, won't stick. That leaves rape as the biggest charge, which under Austrian law carries a 15 year sentence. Parole, good behavior -- he could be out in five years.

I know that everyone is entitled to a defense, but the one that Fritzl and his lawyer are offering is almost as disturbing as what he did. Fritzl is "claiming that his daughter was having sex when she was barely out of her teens. She smoked. She took drugs. She drank. He wanted to save her." His lawyer, Rudolf Mayer, says of his client: "He is not a monster. He loved his daughter in his own way." The father also says that he took good care of his "captives", citing the fact that the bird he bought them lived as evidence of good air quality in their underground prison. (This is at least consistent with the insane statements he made last year.)

As a quick reminder, Fritzl kept his daughter Elisabeth in the basement, along with some of the children they had together. Three of them were allowed to live upstairs -- the "upstairs children". The cellar was equipped with soundproof walls. Elisabeth was forced to write a letter saying that she had run away and joined a cult. This was a well thought out crime. Fritzl says that he is "not normal," but that's as close as he's come to an apology.

Making matters worse, prosecutors may cut a deal that will allow Fritzl to choose the prison where he serves his short sentence. One that lets him sing in a choir and take cooking lessons. When he gets out, he wants to go back home and live with his wife.

According to the Times, many feel that this situation could have been avoided if social workers had done their jobs. That may be the case, but the idea that this monster could get off with a light jail sentence in a country club prison is horrible. Not as horrible as what he did. But it's pretty close.

Source: timesonline.co.uk

Image: BBC