Strollerderby : blogosphere

Holy Bloody Show! Live Birth Blogging Going on - Right Now!

Alisyn — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 23:01:00 GMT

This has got to be the most awesome thing ever: Mamaloo is blogging the birth of her second child - LIVE. Right now!

The updates are coming quickly, and she is managing to keep readers in the loop while experiencing contractions. Last update:

2:33pm: Contractions definitely getting more intense. Gonna have to start working through them a little. I'll have to start tracking them, too.

I feel really blessed to be surrounded by so much support from you dear readers. Your kind words and good wishes and happy labour vibes are helping. Thank you!

I am amazed by anyone who attempts, let alone achieves, a homebirth. But a homebirthing-live-blogging-superstar? She's enough to make me feel like anything in the world is possible!

Go, Mamaloo! And get born, baby!

(Check back for updates!)

Strollerderby Playdate: Ex-Pats Are My Idols

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 23 May 2007 11:01:00 GMT

Ever since reading Babble's foolproof guide to Tuscany with the kids, I've been travel sick. I'm just dying to hop on a plane, uncork a bottle of Robitussin and suddenly find myself somewhere exotic, like Tumecula. (Oh please, you try coping with a 15-hour plane ride and a 1-year-old.)

But because stay-at-home parenting doesn't come with vacation days, I have to settle for the next best thing: bloggers.

There are some fantastic parents out there blogging without borders and making me daydream about China, Italy, Sweden and more.

First up, there's my brother. He lives in Beijing with his 16-year-old daughter and will probably be really pissed that I gave out his blog. But again, he's in China, writes some fantastic, insightful posts and is frequently blocked from various sites, so he'll never know. (But just to be safe ... down with Mao!)

I think I've already written about Adventure Dad, but just in case -- check him out.

Jennifer at Italian Trivia offers a great perspective on life in Northern Italy -- complete with evil sneak thieves. A must-read.

Leslie at Squid in India posts some perfect photos of her adventures in Bangalore. Mangos, mmmm.

And of course, representing the UK, Moobs. Just awesome.

Honor Thy Mother: Mother's Day Blog Round-Up

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 13 May 2007 14:37:00 GMT

Happy Mother's Day!! The blogosphere is honoring mamas today with many fabulous outpourings and ruminations on the condition and experience of motherhood.

Her Bad Mother honors her mother with a touching remembrance of a time when her mama helped her overcome a terrible mistake and sorrow.

Sweetney is happy to have an entire weekend to celebrate herself and her loved ones.

Kristen's Real Mom Truths contest wraps up today (to see the winner go here) with a fabulous line-up of women being honest about motherhood.

Troll Baby comes clean about feeling motherless.

Redneck Mommy offers her usual blend of tenderness and humorous reflection

Stroller Derby's own Jessica Ashley with a sweet Sassafrass Mother's Day tribute

May each of you find peace and love today.

[Photo Credit: Her Bad Mother]

Strollerderby Playdate: Bye, Bye Lorelai

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 09 May 2007 11:01:00 GMT

In case you're wondering -- yes, this week is all about the "Gilmore Girls" At least for me anyway. Who knows? I may even live-blog the final episode of the best parenting TV show ever next Tuesday. We'll see ...

Until then, I'll content myself with the knowledge that there are people out there taking the whole "last episodes" thing a lot worse than I am. But for the record, Lorelai keeping her mouth shut and letting her grown daughter make her own decisions last night? What's not to love? See above, please -- best. show. ever.

Don't believe me? Think I'm reading a little too much into Rory refusing an engagement and becoming, in so many ways, like her mother? Keep reading ...

State of Serenit is "irrationally sad" over the whole thing. I can relate.

Just a Small Town Girl is in tears ... almost. At least she will be. She promises.

Television Love wants the fantasy and the reality -- a strong daughter taking after her mother and also getting the guy. Don't we all? You know what I mean.

Monday Kisses goes on a rant and weeps. I don't agree with the conclusion, but I'm an addict, too. I can't wait for next week.

Dads Are Bloggers, Too

JasonAvant — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:39:00 GMT

When I first started blogging, shortly after the birth of my son, I was sure I’d find a legion of fellow dads, sharing their experiences with the rest of the Internet. My reasoning seemed logical; since the print publishing world pretty much ignores the other half of the parenting equation, there must be some other source of great writing on fatherhood. Well, I didn’t find anything close to the sheer volume of mommybloggers – in fact, for a while there were only a handful of blogging dads out there, the few, the proud. These days, I’m happy to say that there are quite a few of us, and many of them are producing some excellent writing. Many of them are also very well known, and while I was mulling over who I should include in this list, it seemed to me that this would be a good opportunity to put the spotlight on some of my favorite bloggers who are flying under the radar. A dad’s world is just as compelling as a mom’s; perhaps more so, as one is not likely to find our stories on the bookshelves or the magazine racks. So I give you four of my favorite sites, in no particular order. Each brings a unique take on fatherhood to the virtual table, and each is definitely worth your time.

Flailing My Arms: Jonathon Morgan is a twentysomething Austin dad; he deserves a medal for raising a toddler without a dishwasher. His posts are what you'd expect from an Austinite: down to earth, cool, with a heart as big as Texas itself. And you know you’re in good hands when Cleveland seems like a magical place.

Velcrometer: You may know him as M. Giant; in real life Televison Without Pity's master recapper is known as Jeff Alexander. He brings the same razor-sharp wit to his tales of fatherhood, and provides the occasion bit of good advice. For instance, here's his take on why you should not go see the movie Take The Lead: "Take every ballroom dancing movie and every teacher-makes-a-difference-in-the-lives-of-inner-city-kids-who-in-real-life-would-have-knifed-him-in-the-first-reel movie, scan them all into Final Draft, print it out, throw the whole thing off a freeway overpass and pay homeless guys a buck each to recover as many pages as they can, cast Antonio Banderas, and there you go."

The Blue Sloth: This one sneaks up on you, with quiet, subtle prose that pulls you in. No surprise that the author is a soccer player; the payoff here is not necessarily the goal, but the passing, the footwork, the movement off the ball. The anonymous author shows us the difference between mere blogging and honest-to-God writing.

Mother-Woman: Wait a sec, you say. That doesn't sound like a daddy blog. Ah, but it is. Mo-Wo and her husband P-Man are the co-parents; they divvy up the blogging chores. I'd say it's high time for some parity in the title - this is 2007, after all, and dads are more involved in raising their kids then ever before - but that doesn't keep me from making this very smart and very quirky site a regular stop.

So there's my Four To Watch in '07. What daddyblogs are you reading?

The Parenting Conversation: Why Time Magazine Piece on "Hip Parents" Gets It Wrong

thezeroboss — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 12:09:00 GMT

I know that my fellow Derby-ers have already run roughshod over Time magazine's hit piece on Babble and so-called "hip parenting". Goddess knows that the damn "hip parenting" and "grup" memes perpetuated by monolithic media are wearing thin on my soul. I guess I'm too much of a narcissist to let the story go by without chipping in my own two cents.

Near the middle of his piece, author James Poniewozik states: "The Howl of this movement is Neal Pollack's new memoir Alternadad." That comment is so fallacious as to border on dishonesty. Is Poniewozik unaware that Pollack's book sparked something of a mini-riot among Babble's readers and editorial staff? Or is he aware of it, but fears that pointing it up will spoil his narrative about the hipper-than-thou parent?

In branding his piece "Too Cool for Pre-school," Poniewozik wants his readers to believe that all "hip parents" are cut from the same cloth. And that's the problem with that absurd label. Few of us are trying to be "hip." What we are is "offbeat". Nontraditional. Postmodern. We are urban parents. We are crunchy granola parents, attachment parenting parents, environmentalist parents. We are rock 'n roll parents. We are stay at home or work at home parents. We are gay, lesbian, bi and transgendered parents. We are nothing more or less than parents who, in some fashion, defy the traditional image of uptight cardigan-wearing Donna Reed clones who are perpetually alienated from modern culture.

And you wanna know something? We all - gasp! - like to talk to each other.

We enjoy sharing our experiences online. Why? Simple: because big media properties like Poniewozik's employer have ignored us for years. With the explosion of the Internet and the blogosphere, we found a way to bypass the sugary sweetness and commercial plasticity of crap publications like Parents magazine, and directly connect with one another. For the first time, we were part of the parenting conversation; we had an outlet; we were no longer marginalized.

Does that make parental blogging "about us," and not about our kids? Of course. But all narrative writing is about the author, and his or her unique window on the world. The same can be said about the work of David Sedaris. Or Augusten Burroughs. (And I would hope that the irony of Poniewozik writing an opinion piece dissing on other people's narcissism is not lost on him.)

Poniewozik is right on one score: some of the worst writing and blogging in this genre is so much navel-gazing. I've decried that trend myself. But therein lies the value of community. We all keep one another in check. The best parenting bloggers don't simply tell stories about their kids: like this recent posting by Dooce, they tell stories that serve as flash-points for conversation. And damn, do we conversate. We bicker; we debate; we call each other on our bullshit. We do more - much more - than marvel at the precious miracle of our little Boopsie's first steps. We debate hot-topic issues like cervical cancer vaccines for teens, whether vaccinations cause autism, sex education, the grief of parents with stillborn children, and the merits and demerits of the family bed. We share tips on how to save money, spend more time together, and be better parents in general.

Pollack's book was a noticeable flash-point in our recent history. But such debates happen on Babble and around the blogosphere every week, if not every day. And that's what gets lost in one-dimensional, buzzword-heavy pieces like the Time article. Offbeat parenting on the Internet isn't a monologue, as Poniewozik depicts it. It's a conversation - a conversation that bequeaths upon us an embarrassment of riches. Move over, Dr. Spock: we have more information about good parenting at our fingertips than our own parents ever hoped to possess.

Why so many in the mainstream news media are so het up about that is beyond me. Then again, people react in bizarre ways when you threaten their monopoly on dialogue.

"Hipster" - A Dirty Word Now and Then. But Why?

Alisyn — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 23:34:00 GMT

"Hipster."

It’s a dirty word. Especially when used to describe a parent. In fact, to some, the word “hipster” is synonymous with the word “douche bag.”

Originally, the term was coined in the 1940s, and used to refer to the jazz music subculture and those who identified with it. In the 1950s, its definition grew to include the Beat generation. In the 1960’s, “hipster” morphed into “hippie” and all that that encompassed. And in the 1990s, it morphed back to “hipster”, and was used to describe those whose interests were devoted to vintage fashion, and independent music and film.

Lately, “hipster” is being used in conjunction with “parent” - frequently. It’s being used to ridicule and dismiss those of us who have the gall to think that we have the right to maintain our disinterest in pop culture, and engage our sense of humor and independence, while raising our children.

And we are supposed to be offended by this.

Babble and Strollerderby, and those of us who are proud to be a part of it, have been garnering our fair share of (negative) press lately, for being a hipster parenting hangout. For being a place where parents can come to read about, and discuss topics that, before our generation, were considered taboo: sex after babies, how hard marriage and parenting really are, how kids can wreak havoc on your life, and how to maintain a happy self while being at the beck and call of a tiny person with huge needs. We’ve come under fire for passing our love of indie rock and art films down to our kids. We’ve been dissed for dressing our kids in black, and ourselves in Converse. We’ve been slammed for being foul-mouthed “grups”.

Again – this is supposed to offend us.

Throughout its existence in our common lexicon, the word “hipster” has been used in reference to the forward thinking, non-mainstream, counterculture of society: those whose beliefs are less traditional, and more enlightened; those who are less inclined to let popular culture dictate who, and what, they are supposed to be; those who refuse to succumb to a life that is thoughtless and thoroughly average. Its meaning, and usage, is no different today. It’s still a word that is supposed to be an insult - used with disdain and contempt by those who think that what is good enough for them, should be good enough for all of us - but is actually, quite the opposite. The original hipsters, those who brought the American counterculture into the mainstream, were people like Miles Davis, Andy Warhol, Martin Luther King, Jr., Angela Davis, Gloria Steinem and The Beatles.

Our heroes.

Our supposed counterparts - those “traditionalists” who believe that becoming a parent (especially a mother) means putting the kids’ needs before our own at any cost, and submitting to a life of self-sacrifice and media-sanctioned consumerism – seem to think that those of us who were called “freaks” for going to punk shows and tattoo parlors in our early years, will somehow take it to heart when they call us “grups," “douche bags” and "hipsters" now. They believe that by defining us as the opposite of them, they have proved their success.

What they don’t understand is that the more they try to exclude us – and our rock-concert-going, funky-baby-naming, “ironic” t-shirt-wearing ways – the more we thrive. The more they isolate and insult us, and our sensibilities, or preferences, or whatever you want to call them, the more secure in them we become. They didn't like us then, and they don't like us now, and honestly? We don't give a shit. Because "different" does not mean "bad", and labels do not make a person. We know that. Why don't they?

I have a blog, kids and a sense of self that goes beyond my status as a wife and mother, so, by its current connotation, that makes me a hipster parent. I choose to take that as a compliment. Because those of us who don’t conform to what previous generations deemed acceptable, normal and “right,” are the ones paving the way for the next generation to be able to stand up and say “no – I’m going to walk my own path.” That generation is our children – my children. Equipping them with the confidence and self-awareness that they'll need to stand up to those who say that they way they choose to live their lives - as teens, young adults and, eventually, parents - is wrong, is what I'm trying to do.

So you can insult me all you want - call me names, stereotype me, place value judgments on me, my life, and my kids. But I'll always be a proud "hipster." Does that offend you?

Good.

Moms Too Drunk to Tackle Today Show "Momtini" Debate?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 14:24:00 GMT

The last time the Today Show ran a segment on mother fuddlers, the blogosphere lit up with heated debates about mixing alcohol with playdates. Personally, I mix my alcohol with gin, but to each her own. This time around, however, all seems quiet. For now.

Maybe that's because Today Show guest Stefanie "So Hot She Must be Anorexic" Wilder-Taylor yesterday debunked some people's perceptions that moms who drink around their kids are loutish lushbags. She was funny. She was intelligent. She asked for more beer. Who wouldn't like her?

No one that I could find. And I searched -- I swear to god. In putting together this list of the blogosphere reaction to the latest segment, I couldn't find an anti-drinking stance anywhere following the show yesteday. Maybe, and most likely, I'm just a moron -- but I'd like to think people have come to see this issue for what it really is: B.S. Who doesn't drink in front of their kids? Who doesn't drink because of their kids?

Z Recommends offers blogger solidarity with "Mothers for Social Drinking " blog badges. Go get one. Now!

IzzyMom has had enough of the non-debate. "Christ…it’s no wonder we’re NOT all self-medicating after dealing with such nonsense for two weeks in a row."

A Mommy Story believes moms can, gasp, make their own damn decisions. "Personally, I don't think moms are scared of being called a bad parent. I think we're sick of being told that anything we do could make us bad parents, as if we are incapable of making reasonable and sane parenting choices."

Suburban Bliss Melissa Summers, who got unfortunately railroaded when she was on the Today Show the first time this topic came up, rejoiced when host Meredith Viera was asked her opinion and stumbled. OK, rejoiced is a weak word. "I think I had an orgasm at that point."

Desperately Seeking Sanity has no problem with a few drinks, just watch what you say: "Just please refrain from telling me I’m a horrible mother….I might have to console myself with lots of alcohol and that would endanger my children and it would be all your fault … KIDDING!"

MamaKBear loves her some Jose Cuervo.

Elizabeth McDonald at 451Press wonders when parents will stop judging each other and start teaching their kids to make awesome margaritas.

To include some type of counter opinion, Viera herself defended her role in the debate, saying last week she thought making a comparison between moms and babysitters was fair - although she does enjoy a drink "from time to time."

The way I see it, drinking occasionally isn't her problem. Not drinking all the time is.

I'm sure I've missed a lot of great voices in this debate, so if you're not sick of it -- let me know about them and I'll update this. I'd especially like to hear from the anti-drinking side, if only to silently mock you.

(Photo from I'm Not a Wino, Not Yet a Girl -- check her out.)

LinkLove: Moobs, Ah the Indignity

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 18:14:00 GMT

After reading Moobs, you'll be convinced that the blogosphere is loaded with hidden talent, not just a slew of sycophantic solipsists. If you want a good read nearly every time, from someone sensitive but not obsessed with feelings, this site is for you. Moobs is beloved by his followers and rightly so. He's smart, British, and portrays modern issues (in vitro fertilization and infertility among them) with a sophisticated pen, wry wit, and big heart.

Like all good writers, he is able to evoke sympathy, understanding, and interest despite a viewpoint that may (literally and figuratively) be foreign to the reader. He's a not-yet-Dad barrister living in London and long-married to a pretty girl named P, both struggling to get through, pay for, and survive the trials of in vitro fertilization.

But that's only a small portion of what he describes, with topics ranging from life as a barrister, to a niece's first birthday, to reflections on pervvy youthful proclivities.

With a self-deprecating name like Moobs, how can you lose? Now, his is a Dad-ography I'd gladly devour.

Linklove: The Good Ol' Days, Well, They Kinda Sucked

JasonAvant — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:24:00 GMT

I hate "Forwards". You know what I'm talking about - those obnoxious forwarded messages that encourage you to be kind to a stranger, tell you that "You Know You Went To High School In The 80's If...", or explain why everything's Bill Clinton's fault. No good can ever come of these pieces of tripe; in fact, I've discovered their source, the Necronomicon of Tacky Emails.

New York blogger Panthergirl clearly has no use for this dreck. She does a nifty dissection of one particular forward that's been in circulation for a few years, and makes the point that the Good Ol' Days were clearly the product of deluded minds. According to the Good Ol' Days forward, everything back then was swell, Pleasantville was a real place, and life was a conservative's wet dream. Not so much, says Panthergirl; go read her pointed and pretty funny reality check.