Strollerderby : breastfed

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

Brett Singer — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:00:00 GMT

This is annoying. And funny.

Laura Whotton of Nottingham (no relation to the Sheriff of Nottingham) was "rebuked" when she tried to breastfeed her son at the pool. Her older boy was swimming at the time, and she wanted to keep on eye on him while the baby had a snack.

The mother, of course, was upset. "People in bikinis were showing more skin and breast than I was." With all due respect, that seems unlikely since breastfeeding requires exposing a breast, although I suppose it's possible she was using a Hooter Hider (that's a real product name, by the way) or similar covering. Mrs. Whotton also said that the incident "could put people off going swimming," which seems a little overwrought. As for being "rebuked by a staff member at the John Carroll Leisure Centre" (hee hee -- the English talk funny), I see her point. It's annoying and uneccessary.

The City Council has since rewritten their rules on poolside noshing in order to accomodate future breastfeeders.

This is not the first time a mom was told to put "the girls" away at the pool. (I know, it's not like she was stripping, I'm just trying to turn a phrase.) Something similar occurred in Canada back in October of 2008.

Here's a funny angle on the story. In general, breastfeeding advocates will say things like, "It's just eating." Right? Well, doesn't that mean that breast milk is food? And therefore, if there is a ban on food and drink at the pool, why doesn't that rule apply to breastfeeding?

To me, the answer is that there's no crumbs. What do you think?

Source: Telegraph

Image: Amazon

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Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

Brett Singer — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:37:00 GMT

MomLogic points us to a sad story from the Daily Mail. Katy Isden, a British woman who lived in New York City, committed suicide last year. The police report says that she depressed because she was having difficulty breastfeeding her child.

Before I say anything, this is a terribly sad story. It's awful that Ms. Isden felt so horrible that she ended her life.

The only thing wrong about that last statement is that I really don't know why she killed herself. I realize that the report says it was because she had trouble breastfeeding. By framing the issue this way, doesn't that help to create more pressure for women? Not only is there pressure from "nipple-nazis", but there's pressure to not feel pressured.

Why not call it post-partum depression? I interviewed Lisa Rinna recently about her upcoming book (an interview she was very happy with, by the way -- she even tweeted it) and one of the things she talked about openly was her own battle with PPD. She said that she felt uncomfortable telling anyone she was depressed, because "After having a baby, you're supposed to feel so blissful." By talking about her own experiences, she hopes that other women will be able to seek help if they need it.

MomLogic asks if "there is too much pressure put on moms to breastfeed." I have a different question. Do you think this mother committed suicide because she was having trouble breastfeeding?

Source: Daily Mail via MomLogic

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Playdate: Breastfeeding Bonds for Better Mom-Kid Relationships?

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:32:00 GMT

I've read a lot more blogs since I took over the "What They're Babbling About" section for Strollerderby, and Breastfeeding Moms Unite! was sent my way via a "friend" on Twitter.

Not afraid to take on some of the bigger breastfeeding topics, it's worth a read anytime. But one post in particular caught my attention this week.

She asks women today if they were breasted . . . and how their relationships are with their mothers.

It's nothing scientific, and she makes clear she's not actually attributing her lack of a perfect relationship with her mother to her mom's decision NOT to breastfeed. Why then, I wondered, did she even bring it up?

Curiosity, it sounds like. And it is interesting to ponder - although entirely inconclusive. I was breastfed until just shy of the year mark. So was my brother. Neither of us has a terribly great relationship with our mother (his is better than mine). I tried breastfeeding and failed at it, and I would like to think a good relationship with my daughter is possible - at least something akin to what we have now. (I asked my husband, by the way, if he was breastfed, and he had no idea - and his mom breastfed into the toddler stage).

What's bothered me most about so many pro-breastfeeding mantras isn't the idea that breastfeeding is good for kids (because it is!) but the idea that it promotes better bonding between mother and child. Do they bond? Certainly. But better bonding? Isn't that a little subjective? A little "well, my kid loves me best?"

Because, try as we might, as parents, we can't control the feelings of our kids or the personalities of our kids. Some parents and children have horrible relationships because of bonds during childhood that were TOO tightly woven (think helicopter parenting), others clash because they as people are simply too alike. There's also the mere fact that as human beings, we all relate differently to one another.

Our own personalities as parents are distinctly different. Our personalities mesh differently with our different kids. I know some readers will take this as an attack on breastfeeding, so again, please understand, I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for women who do it (and something every woman should try to do). But reading through the comments on the BMU site, I pondered once again how much pressure we are putting on one small part of childhood to solve life's problems.

Take this comment: "Had I been weaned as an infant, I’m not sure I would have maintained that physical closeness with my mom. She let me breastfeed as long and as often as I needed or wanted, and I do feel that that contributed to my feeling that she was always available to me, throughout my life."

That's just one opinion, but it struck me as a perfect example of the attempts to make breastfeeding into a panacea. God forbid her mother stopped at, say one year, perfectly acceptable according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, and just showered her with love, affection and a roof over her head, clothes on her back? That wouldn't be enough to retain a sense of physical closeness with her?

As one friend said when I mentioned the idea of breastfeeding in childhood in relation to an adult mother/child relationship, sometimes mothers are unhappy breastfeeders, women who did it because they knew it was best for their child's health, but end up resenting their children for a miserable eight, ten, twelve months. She posited her own mother probably had post partum depression and was not a happy breastfeeder. Today, they have a stilted relationship.

The best benefit of having a mother who breastfed? Besides the health benefits we got if we were breastfed? In my mind it's the positive role model, the knowledge that someone we know did it and made it work. If we're lucky, when it comes time to breastfeed, we have a good enough relationship with that woman (our mother) to turn to her for advice on how to proceed ourselves.

But if a mom wasn't breastfed, will it make or break her relationship? Take this comment over at the BMU site and ponder it. I think it answers it quite nicely: "You may simply be posing the question of whether or not breastfeeding can make a significant impact on mother-daughter relationships but I believe the answer has long been apparent in the relationships between women and adopted daughters."

Image: EcoStreet

What Should A Man Do While A Woman Breastfeeds

Brett Singer — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Scene: a toddler's birthday party. A father is chatting with a woman that he knows from the kids' pre-school. The woman is holding a baby.

The baby stirs. Opens her tiny mouth. Starts... what was the word again?

Oh! Right. Rooting. When they're hungry. That's it.

The woman starts to undo her shirt. Then her bra. She takes out her breast and the baby eagerly starts to eat.

OK dude. Now what?

I'm a fan of breastfeeding in general. I don't think anyone should be pressured into doing it but I believe that it's healthy for the baby, and if the mother is able to do it, that's great. I also believe that women should be able to breastfeed wherever they want. (Maybe not on a Broadway stage while the show is going on, or even in the audience of the theater while the show is going on. But the lower lobby? Sure.) So this isn't about that.

The question is, which is more offensive? Looking? Or looking away?

I don't have an answer, so I'm curious what our readers think. In general it seems rude to head for ze hills as soon as the little one starts her liquid lunch. On the other hand, if I'm standing and the woman is seated, it's difficult to talk to her without seeing her breast. Which in any other situation is considered quite rude. This isn't a sexual thing. I don't think breastfeeding is hot, or inappropriate, or anything of that sort. At the same time I don't know how a woman feels about being on display like that. Or even if they feel on display at all.

So. Help me out here! What's the right thing to do?

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Breast Milk Cupcakes

Brett Singer — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:00:00 GMT

I was more skeptical of this one then I was of the snow ice cream. What would inspire someone to do this? (Other than needing something to bring to a La Leche meeting, I mean. I kid.)

Curiosity I suppose. But according to Viceland (note: the site has language and images that are not safe for work, click the "source" link below if you're OK with that), these made with mommy milk cakes are quite tasty. In fact, in a taste test, they beat out cupcakes made from cow's milk.

A comedian whose name I can't recall once wondered about the first person who thought it would be a good idea to milk a cow. "Hey, look at those things hanging down underneath Bessie. I wonder if liquid comes out when I squeeze them. It does! Hey, I wonder if I can drink it? I can! Clem! C'mere, check this out!" Or eggs. "Look what came out of that chicken. I wonder if it would if the goopy stuff inside of it would taste good fried and served with grits. Mmmm. Clem! Get back out here!"

When you look at it that way, breast milk cupcakes don't sound nearly as weird. (Actually, lots of people question whether or not cow's milk is something humans should be putting in their bodies. But that's another topic.)

I always wanted to try breast milk while my wife was nursing. It felt somehow wrong, though. Like it wasn't mine to eat, y'know? I did taste a teeny bit when I was warming up a bottle, and if I recall correctly it was kind of salty.

We had a freezer full of milksicles at one point. I never realized that this was a tasty frozen treat.

Has anyone ever tried cupcakes, or any other food, made with breast milk? Would you?

Source: Viceland via Buzzfeed

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Smackdown: Breastfeeding -- Why Not?

Brett Singer — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:15:00 GMT

Cole challenged me to a Smackdown on breastfeeding, and of course I said yes. I never back down from a challenge, at least not one as harmless as a blog face off. (In other words, don't challenge me to get in the ring with Mike Tyson. That, I will decline.)

Breastfeeding is a controversial subject, but it wasn't always. Back in the day (as in, black and white televisions, Uncle Milty, etc.) many women took a pill to dry up their milk ducts. They didn't feel guilty about it, and those children grew up to live happy lives despite being denied breast milk.

There was also a point in our history when women didn't have the right to vote. In other words, times change. We've learned a lot about human health, and there is definitely evidence that breast milk CAN be good for your kids. Is it conclusive? No. So what? If you are able to breastfeed, isn't it worth the potential benefits?

Now for some specifics:

1. The Guilt Factor: No disagreement here. It's wrong to bully a woman, especially a new mother. However, let us not ignore…

2. The Laziness Factor: There are a number of reasons why some women don't breastfeed their kids. I've heard at least one new mom who said that breastfeeding her child made her feel "gross"; she had no problems with her child latching on, she just didn't like having a baby suckling at her "teet." It made her, "feel like a mammal." When someone says that, I want to ask them a simple question: If you are able to do something that has potential health benefits for your child, why wouldn't you? If you can't breastfeed, you can't breastfeed. But if you tried once and just bailed, that seems like a cop-out. Some of the La Leche people may be a little nuts, but many lactation counselors are very good at what they do. If you have trouble with latching or other breastfeeding issues, it's worth trying a counselor just for the potential health benefits.

3. Expressed Milk in a Bottle: Cole, I love ya, but sometimes I wonder if you've been sipping from a different type of bottle. (A glass one. Filled with bourbon.) Who says that expressed breast milk is a bad thing? As I understand it, the debate is usually between breast milk and formula. And I have yet to see a study that says formula is undeniably better for the child. At best, some say that breast milk may not have the benefits that some claim. Which brings us to the next point:

4. "No Proof That Breast Feeding is Healthier": Is there proof that it's harmful? There is certainly evidence that breast milk is good for babies. Again, why not give it to your children if you can? There was a time when doctors said that smoking was healthy. Look at how that turned out.

5. Formulas Aren't Perfect Either: I haven’t done extensive research but I know that whenever there is a product that is mass-produced, there is the potential for problems. Remember the Chinese milk recall? Ever heard of a breast milk recall? I didn't think so.

There's a difference between "can't" and "won't." No one should be bullied into breastfeeding (sorry, La Leche). But if you won't even try because you just don't want to, or you feel like you want to "rebel" against the "breastfeeding nazis", maybe you should rethink your position. Cole is right -- you shouldn't do anything JUST because of peer pressure. But if everyone isn't jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, that doesn't mean you should. (Think about it for a minute, I'm pretty sure it makes sense.)

Read Cole's take on the matter here.

Read Madeline's take on the matter here. (And I didn't say that ALL women who don't breastfeed are lazy. I mean, c'mon.)

What do you think? I'm right and he's wrong, yes? (Even if you think I'm wrong, let us know in the comments.)

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Things You Should Never Say To A Nursing Mother

Brett Singer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:30:00 GMT

For most of these, we'll assume that you are speaking to your significant other, unless otherwise indicated.

- “Can I get a squirt of that?” The answer is no. If you're desperately curious about the taste of breast milk, try some that the mother of your children has expressed into a bottle.
- Two words that should never go together: “Tittie milk.” Not funny. Trust me.
- “How far can you squirt that stuff? Can you hit this cup on the shelf? How about if I move it closer? Honey? What are you doing with that hammer? OW!”
- “You and the baby are being really loud. Can you do that someplace else? I'm watching TV.”

And here are a few things not to say to a woman you don't know if you see nursing in a public place:

- “Ew! Gross!”
- “Niiice.”
- "Hey baby. Get it? Hey... baby...?" (It's not funny. I know you think its funny. But it's not.)
- A blank stare.
- A lascivious stare.
- Any sort of stare at all.

Anything to add? Remember – it takes a village.

image: Flickr

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Breast-feeding in public – bad idea?

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Capessa.com went out and asked women if they thought it was OK to breast-feed in public. Their answers may surprise you.

First, as a man, I have to point out that I disagree with the woman who says, "That's what breasts are made for." Before anyone gets upset, let me tell you that if I don't say that, I will be kicked out of the International Club of Guys. Which would be bad.

Second, I was actually surprised to see how many women in the video seemed to feel strongly that breast-feeding was something that should only be done in private. (I particularly liked the woman who said, "Especially these days, there are so many PRODUCTS," as if she were auditioning for an infomercial.)

Now, here's my opinion: it depends on the place as well as the person involved. I don't have a problem with women breast-feeding their babies in a public place, but I have to admit that I tend to look away when they do, not out of shame but out of respect. In a situation where I don't know how comfortable a woman feels about having people see them and their little one doing their thing, turning away seems like the polite way to go. How it's done is also a factor. I've seen some women do it so casually that it actually took me a second to realize what was going on. A covering of some sort can actually make it more noticeable, which isn't the goal. Some discretion seems warranted, if only to avoid panting weirdos who salivate at the merest suggestion of boobage.

It's also worth pointing out that I don't see anything sexual in breast-feeding (much as I don't see anything sexual in giving birth). To each his own I guess, but to me, seeing a baby receiving milk from its mother is not exactly a trip to the Ba-Da-Bing.

Does breast-feeding in public still have a stigma attached to it? Has anyone out there been given a hard time for doing it?

Source: Capessa via Shine

image: flickr.com