10 Ways to Celebrate Christmas—Not Commerce

Miriam Axel-Lute — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

So here’s my family’s seasonal dilemma: We love the holiday season, and particularly Christmas. Call it what you will: nostalgia, a fondness for tradition, an excuse to be part of a communal experience . . . but we, and now our daughter, delight in the decorating, the tree, the music, the lights. As far as my agnostic soul is concerned, December is one great big interfaith solstice celebration.

The only problem is that looking through the eyes of our two-year-old, we’ve realized that much of what we love about the season comes with a implicit anticipation of the Big Day, especially our beloved advent calendar. This means that if all that happens on the Big Day is presents, then no matter how restrained we’ve been in our purchases/creations or how studiously we’ve avoided the malls, we’ve nonetheless just taught our kid that the Christmas gift exchange is itself worth a month’s worth of ramp up. Ick.

We’re not going to ditch the gifts, but we figured we ought to add something else to the 25th to make it more of a day apart. Here are some ideas we’ve considered or others have done. What do you do?

1. Get up to watch sunrise. Face it: until it came north to the land of dark winters, Christmas (like Hanukkah) was a minor holiday. What better way to acknowledge the holiday’s pagan roots, celebrate the returning light, and set a mystical atmosphere over the whole day than to get up for sunrise? (Besides, your kids will get up early for their stockings anyway; might as well make the best of it.)

2. Caroling. Before it was tamed into nuclear-family Santa-worship, Christmas was a holiday of heavy partying and class-role reversal. Wassailing, which involved going door to door demanding food and booze from the rich folks in exchange for songs and plays whether welcome or not, would probably not be an advisable family tradition, but if you’re a singer and know a few others nearby, wassailing’s more decorous cousin caroling can be a delightful way to spread the Christmas spirit after the wrapping paper has come off. In the colder climes, bring a thermos of hot tea or cocoa.

3. Feed the birds. Another common Yule activity among neo-pagans involves decorating outside trees with strings of popcorn and pine cones covered in peanut butter and bird seed. To add an element of impishness and old wassailing spirit, decorate your whole neighborhood.

4. Remember the poor. Among the meaning-minded who aren’t headed to church, volunteering on Christmas is becoming something of a tradition. There are many options: special dinners, gift programs for poor kids, soup kitchens. On the other hand, beware: It’s become popular enough that slots can fill up fast. In LA you have to pay $100 for the privilege of distributing food, sleeping bags, and bus tokens that afternoon. And you may also incur the reasonable wrath (or just cold shoulder) of overworked nonprofit leaders who don’t want to bother to train volunteers who will only be there one day a year for the symbolic value.

5. Feast. Am I the only one who feels like Thanksgiving wasn’t that long ago, and having a pale imitation of it on Christmas isn’t that exciting? One way to make Christmas feasting special is pick one or two traditional foods that you wouldn’t have any other time of year—for example, mincemeat pies, chestnuts, plum pudding, roast goose, mulled wine, or from-scratch eggnog (or, apparently, if you’re Finnish, reindeer)—and serve 'em up. Chestnuts roast fine in the oven, by the way, not just on an open fire. For Harry Potter flair, find a British import store selling crackers to place on each plate.

6. Make gift exchange about means, not just ends. Emphasize that the process of giving and reciving is more important than the quantity of loot by livening up the process with treasure hunts (good for things too big to wrap), deceptive wrapping competitions, guessing games, or other elaborate/goofy presentations.

7. Quality time. So here you are on Christmas afternoon, hopefully all together and with some time on your hands. You could all disappear into your new books/video games, but you could also make it special by picking something to do together that you only do on Christmas. The ritual recitation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas? The whole family watching your favorite Christmas movie together? Time to actually play a complete game of Monopoly? The options are legion.

8. Call relatives and friends. This is already part of many families' Christmas days, and rightly so. Throw in a surprise call to someone who wasn’t expecting it.

9. Take a look back. Write down memories of the year together in a blank book and read over last year’s memories, take a yearly picture in a ritual place, or write a New Year’s letter together as a family (because, after all, it’s awfully hard to find time before Christmas to sit down and compose one of those).

10. Go see the lights. Some people don’t get their lights up until late; others take ‘em down early. So on the day itself you’re likely to get the maximum effect. As the effects of the feasting wear off, head off around the block, to that neighborhood with the crazy utility bills, or to the formal display in the park (but check first—as stupid as it may be, many formal displays are closed on the 25th).

Remember that for kids, the important thing about holidays is often more that there is a ritual than what that ritual is. Pick your poison, but as soon as the kids have come to expect something, you better be prepared to stick to it.

Photo by Fredo Alvarez, via Flickr.

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The Ten Best Christmas Songs For the Kid in You

JeanneSager — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 14:02:00 GMT

They hit us with the music first. While the stores are still stocked with mallowcreme pumpkins and orange bags of mini Snickers, they start piping a few holiday tunes into the mix to make us spend, spend, spend. Yes, there are still people who listen up and even (embarrassing confession coming) tune in themselves.

We've never met a "Silent Night" we didn't like, but we'd rather fill them up with renditions of Rudolph. So power up your iPods, here are the absolutely ridiculous songs you need to pack your playlist with to make sure the family's rockin' around the Christmas tree:

"Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey" by Lou Monte - Hey, chingedy ching. You can make an ass of yourself in front of the kids singing this one - they won't mind. At the heart, it's a song about a little creature who helped Santa in a big way - and wouldn't you know it, the jolly old man shops in Brooklyn!
"Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and the Chimpunks - An education in patience . . .and punctuality (where is Alvin?), the high-pitched 'munks can hula hoop those Gregorian chanters any day.
"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" - Zoning code in just about every neighborhood prohibits parents from fulfilling this request, but here's a kid who's thinking out of the box. Now let's shoot for something that won't eat 90 pounds of grass a day. That puppy sounds better already.
"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy - How is a song about a dead grandmother one we play every year for our kids? Truly a warped way to put you in the holiday spirit, but if you're sipping on the egg nog that got one over on Granny, you'll just smile and nod.
"Mele Kalikimaka" - The Hawaiian Christmas song played over a Clark Griswold dream scene in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation cemented this as a holiday classic in a way that even Cousin Eddie in a banana hammock couldn't destroy. (It was Bing Crosby's silky smooth voice providing the soundtrack, by the way)
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" - Although it paints Mommy as something of a tramp, this song adds a little more armor for parents in the fight to make them believe just one more year. See, he does exist - that guy on the radio saw him too. Supposedly the song was commissioned by ~~Needless Markup~~ Neiman Marcus for a holiday advertising campaign. They were depending on kids to believe at least another year too.
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" by assorted artists (Bruce Springsteen's version is far and away the best) - Score another one for Mom and Dad, because it doesn't get better than the Boss scratchy voice warning them the big guy won't be coming if they don't straighten up. Now's the time to teach them, you don't mess with the guys from Jersey. The space beneath the Meadowlands is full of the naughty boys and girls who tried it . . . and lost.
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" - If Gene Autry can't give them a self-esteem boost this holiday, who can? The littlest Rudolph with his bright red nose will take their nose off their stuffed honker (what is it with passing a cold around the holiday table?) and back to the usual twenty questions about that fat man who makes it around the world in one night.
"All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" - When the kids start getting greedy, here's a hearty reminder that some kids don't get what they want . . . they get what they need. Maybe if they're still good after the holiday's over, the Tooth Fairy will get it for them.
"Nuttin' for Christmas" - There are nuttin' but consequences for naughty little children, 'specially when someone's always snitching on them.

Image: CBS

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