Strollerderby : carseat

Do You Speak Up When You See a Child Hit in Public?

JeanneSager — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:31:00 GMT

Every April, I get that old Edmund Burke quote stuck in my head: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Or something to that effect.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, the time when child protection groups across the country start beating that drum again. Speak up, speak up, speak UP when you see something.

Except, I am not that parent. I have a hard time walking up to the mother in the grocery store who has smacked their child across the face and saying, "Hey, lady, knock it off."

I'm more the indignant glare type, the one who will cut you down with my eyes, dark and forbidding from across the dairy aisle, running my cart perilously close to your heels. "I'm watching you," I say with my elbows as I get too close while we're both picking through the tomato pile.

And yet, I am not a proponent of child abuse (is anyone?). I am not even a spanker, preferring to discipline with words and timeouts in part because of my own history of beatings on the butt which left their emotional scars. Nor am I the quiet type. I frankly have a hard time shutting up about most things - hence the blogging job!

So why is it so hard to speak up about child abuse? For one, there's a fine line between outright abuse and a bad day. We've all been horrified by seeing a parent smack a kid, but who knows if that was a heat of the moment, having an awful day, never, ever happened before kind of thing or a normal occurrence in that family's life? We're too afraid of disrupting an otherwise normal family's life with an investigation by child protective services.

There's also a fear that our own closets aren't without their skeletons. Ever been locked out by your toddler? Check. Ever lost your toddler - even for just five seconds - because they wandered off while you were focusing on something else? Again, check. Ever left your child in the car for a second while you ran into the post office? One more time.

So we adopt the "he who is without sin" method of casting stones. We're not perfect, so who are we to judge? Although, we do judge. We glare. We huff. We go home and tell our spouses about the idiot we saw in the grocery store. We are aware that something might not be right, but by and large we are too afraid to do anything.

It's all in degrees, naturally. If I saw a baby sleeping in a backseat on a ninety-degree day with no adult in sight, you know I'd be on my cell phone to 911. If I saw a child battered and bruised with a split lip and a black eye, I'd be calling child protective services. Waiting until it gets to clear child abuse carries with it its risks - we aren't PREVENTING child abuse if we wait that long. We aren't protecting the nearly one million victims of child abuse every year, almost ninety-five percent of whom are abused more than once.

It's where that Burke quote comes into play. We are good parents, but we let bad parents win.

I've done it. You've done it.

Will you be speaking up next time?

Image: ChildAbusePreventionNetwork

Six-year-old Goes to Traffic Court

JeanneSager — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:34:00 GMT

He wasn't behind the wheel, but a six-year-old New Mexico boy was sentenced by a judge to traffic court. After all, it was his fault his mother ended up with a traffic ticket.

The boy's mom was pulled over and ticketed for not ensuring her elementary schooler was wearing his seatbelt. Rather than pleading guilty, the mom took the case to court - where she explained to the judge that nothing she does seems to get through to her son the importance of keeping the belt on.

"He took off his seat belt, I pulled over again and put it on and he took it off right in front of the cop," the mom told a New Mexico TV station. The judge agreed something had to be done - and he used his position to make it happen. He told her to take him to traffic school.

It doesn't seem to matter how on message you are with the seatbelt talk, some kids just love to rebel. We switched our daughter out of the carseat and into a booster the second she was tall enough - despite all the parents who told me they weren't as safe - because she couldn't be convinced NOT to move the chest plate down onto her belly. Every time she slipped it lower, I worried about the impact that would have on her internal organs if we were to get into an accident. The booster seat ensures she can't move the belt around, and the impact would be spread across more of her body.

Other parents say their problem is once they move into the booster seat, they can't keep their kids from the fascination of clicking the seatbelt button.

Some kids never test the limits, but there will always be that bunch who do. The best you can do is make sure you never take your kids out for a ride without the seatbelt and to always wear one yourself. I also used the cop next door as an excuse - reminding my daughter that he would have to come arrest me if she wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I'm not lying - it's essentially what happened with this New Mexico family!

The mom ended up taking her son to a seatbelt safety class - judge-approved. He's considering making future offenders and their kids take the same class, but it's not a bad idea for parents who are struggling with the problem - to prevent the ticket, and prevent a horrible accident.

Any other tips, Babble readers? What tricks have you used to keep them belted in?

Image: Edmunds

The First Look at Booster Seats Shows - Unlucky 13 Fail

JeanneSager — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:35:00 GMT

That's it. I'm putting my daughter in a bubble. No, really. I bought a gas guzzler because I wanted the most steel I could put between her and everyone else on the road. I kept that little booty facing backward for as long as the law allowed. I went through one of those car seat inspections to make sure I got it right.

I waited until she was exactly 38 inches (by the pediatrician's measurements, not my writer's math) before putting her in a booster seat. And now this: the first ever review of child's booster seats finds a list of dangers lurking in our backseats. Excuse me, did that say FIRST EVER?

What has the Institute for Highway Safety been doing since, oh, I don't know . . . I was a little kid? Because I had one of those protective mothers (and you wonder where I get it from?) who bought a booster seat for her kid decades before they became a mandate in all but 12 states. These days, 21 states require kids be in a booster seat up until age 6. Another 17 (plus DC) require them until kids are 8. That's a lot of booster seat use. And yet this month the Institute issued its first report on booster seats, put together with the cooperation of the University of Michigan Transportation Research Institute.

I guess we could say better late than never. And they did come up with a list of winners - 10 in all (and my daughter's is on there, phewww) - and a list of losers (the unlucky number 13). Here's a look at them all. Let's just hope it doesn't take this long for the next go-round.

Image: Amazon - Graco's TurboBooster, one of the winners

Take Your Kid to Work, But Don't Let them Take Control of a City Train

Keep all Hands and Feet Inside the Vehicle

When is Too Young to Teach Them 911?

Strollerderby : carseat

Do You Speak Up When You See a Child Hit in Public?

Did Having a Baby Make You Start Thinking About Your Ex?

Say Hello to a Tiny Hero

Why Do Parents Cheat at the Easter Egg Hunt?

Six-year-old Goes to Traffic Court

Judge to Mom: Spank Your Kid or Pay Up

Motherproofing the Motor City

How Do You Get 634 Years in Prison?

The First Look at Booster Seats Shows - Unlucky 13 Fail