Strollerderby : childbirth

The Miracle of Mannequin Childbirth - Creepy or Funny

Cole Gamble — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

As I wrote this post, watching this video repeatedly, I wondered, “Is this NSFW?” I mean it’s graphic, if you’re a mannequin. I’m so confused. Perhaps together you and I can make sense of this. Please share this with me and help me to understand.

Some Thoughts:

As these Nazis kept forcing the same baby through this poor mannequin’s vagina I screamed at the computer monitor, “Please no more! Can’t you see she’s had enough?!”

Is this video suggesting birth would be easier if we sawed the legs and everything above the waist of a woman? If so, my wife is so not going for that.

I hope to Jehovah these aren’t available to sell for personal use. I never want to find one of these in my son’s closet.

It’s really strange that there’s no sound. Is that to block out the all the disembodied mannequin torso screaming?

I wonder if this video has a blooper reel. You think on one of the takes Gary Coleman’s face popped out? You know that guy needs work.

Finally, I came to peace with this video, recognizing it for the beautiful, natural moment it is.

Realted Link: Why Are People So Afraid Of Childbirth?

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They Say: Late Preemies At Risk for Developmental Delays

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

They often look and seem like full-term babies, but new research suggests that babies born at 34 to 37 weeks are more likely than their 37-to-40-week peers to face developmental or behavioral delays or disabilities, require special education, and be held back in kindergarten.

Published in the journal Pediatrics, the study compared more than seven thousand late preemies with more than 150,000 full-term babies (all of them healthy singleton births). The late preemies faced developmetal delay or disability at rates 36% higher than their term peers, and their rate of suspension in kindergarten was 19% higher. In addition, researchers found a 10 to 13% increase in incidence of other problems, including being held back in kindergarten or needing special education.

Most babies, of course, are born at term (defined as anything from 37 to 42 weeks), but an increasing number are born prematurely, the largest bulk of these in the late premie category -- the numbers for all premature births in the United States have jumped from 9.4% in 1981 to 12.3% in 2003. Reasons for the rise aren't entirely clear, but some doctors are expressing concern that obstetricians and patients are unaware of the risks of even seemingly small amounts of prematurity.

From the New York Times article about the study:

“The biggest take-home point is that the late-preterm baby is not exactly the same as the term baby,” said Dr. Steven Benjamin Morse, an author of the study and an associate professor of pediatrics at University of Florida.

“They go home from the hospital in two to three days, and they look great, and they act like full-term babies,” he said. “But now we’ve found that they do have some increased risk of problems when they enter school. We were surprised.”

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Grey's Anatomy Tackles Mother Vs. Baby Issue

JeanneSager — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:29:00 GMT

You might have been tuning in to the final airing of the Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice special for an update on Little Grey and McSteamy, but I had to know what happened to the pregnant chick - would they lose her, or the baby?

In case you're not a fan (or just haven't settled in with your Tivo to play catch up), neurosurgeon Dr. Derek Shepherd has spent three episodes operating over and over on a pregnant woman's brain while his ex-wife has stood by to keep tabs on her child in utero.

Last night, it all came to a boiling point (as did other issues on the show - but I'll leave those revelations to your Tivo), and patient Jen's husband is clear - if it comes down to my baby or my wife, pick my wife. Bring back my wife.

It reminded me of my husband - who made it clear during my pregnancy that if anything were to go wrong during delivery (not that there was any risk of that), he said he didn't care what happened. As long as I walked out of there with him. Fortunately, it never came to that. Our daughter, the light of his life, was delivered after an average thirteen hours of labor and natural childbirth with no complications. She was perfect. I was serviceably healthy (really, does any woman look perfect after childbirth? Wan, yes, perfect. . . I think not).

Pregnancy isn't nearly as risky as it was back in ye olden days, but there are always risks - especially when you throw in a C-section, which is, after all, major surgery. Did you and your partner ever have this discussion during pregnancy? Dads, did you worry about her safety going into the delivery room?

Image: ABC

Mom on Experimental Kidney Donation: Not as Bad as Childbirth

JeanneSager — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:33:00 GMT

Doctors attempts to make kidney donation less painful for a mother of three apparently worked.

Having her kidney removed via her vagina, Kim Johnson says, was less painful than childbirth.

The forty-eight-year-old was the first woman to ever have her organ removed in this manner, a procedure performed by doctors at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland this week.

Johnson went in for the procedure so she could donate her kidney to her niece, twenty-three-year-old Jennifer Gilbert who received a kidney twelve years ago from her father. Gilbert's body began rejecting her father's kidney, prompting a need for another transplant.

Besides the necessary tissue match between the relatives, Johnson was a prime candidate for the experimental procedure because she'd undergone a hysterectomy since the birth of her three children. But doctors say they should be able to do the procedure on women without compromising their chances to give birth later, and the success of Johnson's surgery should encourage more women to become kidney donors.

Organ donation by live donors is dropping (despite all the attempts by donor organizations), but patients in the United States waiting for a kidney passed the one hundred thousand mark for the first time ever last fall. On the other hand, the overall number of transplants has increased more than eleven percent since 2003, while deaths on the transplant wait list have decreased each year since 2004. And now states are weighing in on the process, many kicking in tax credits for live donors.

Another big plus for busy moms? Recovery time for this surgery was significantly less than the traditional laproscopic removal of a kidney. Johnson should be out and about at her normal routine within the next week and a half.

Not that I'm planning a big kidney birthing anytime soon, but, hey, you never know.

Image/Source: MSNBC

UPS Guy Really Delivers

Amy Kuras — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 21:02:00 GMT

What can brown do for you? Well, for UPS delivery driver Craig Ramirez, he took “rapid delivery” to a whole new level last week when he delivered his fifth kid in his living room. In the dark, no less.

Ramirez’s wife Lisa woke him at 3:30 am to tell him she was in labor. They’d been through this four previous times, so they both felt they knew the drill. However, Lisa was putting on her shoes at the front door, ready to head to the hospital, when she started yelling that she felt the head.

His reaction was about the same as mine would be in the same situation: "I said, 'No, it can't be coming. It can't. That's not even in the realm of reality.'"

He called 911, but there wasn’t enough time to get there. Lisa stood up and leaned on the sofa, and Craig put his hands on his daughter’ head, and helped her slip out into the world.

He said he was guided by what he’s seen the doctors do in the births of their previous four children, but was pretty terrified. "I thought, 'I can't do this.' But there was nothing else I could do. It was me. That's it. I said, 'Craig, it's all you, man.' "

The 911 operator told him to tie off the cord, which he did, and the paramedics arrived totake them to the hospital to get checked over.

Little Amelia Yvonne and her mother are doing fine. And dad is taking tons of ribbing from his fellow delivery drivers.

Mom Says Hospital Fouled Childbirth - Twice

JeanneSager — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:15:00 GMT

What would you do if you thought your OB/GYN caused your baby irreperable harm during delivery? Would you go back?

A mom from Queens returned to the hospital where she'd delivered her first son to deliver her second - and once again, she says the doctors "yanked" on her child, causing a debilitating nerve injury that may lead to permanent paralysis.

The boys, a year apart, are both suffering from ERB's palsy. It's a condition Annemarie Dhana's lawsuit claims is caused by malpractice at childbirth.

"In both cases their shoulders became stuck after the head was delivered. In both cases excessive force was used to deliver the babies, resulting in ERB's palsy," according to a sworn affidavit, signed by Dhana.

The trouble is, during childbirth, how do you know if the doctor is using excessive force or doing what is necessary to get that baby out? Every delivery is different, and so is every doctor or midwife - and their preferred methods for delivery.

Despite repeated (Ok, obsessive) viewings of The Baby Story before delivering my daughter, I had never seen a mom being handed a towel by her doctor so she could pull and he could pull - offering her leverage. It's a practice my OB/GYN apparently uses (successfully, I might add) with a lot of moms - as other women whose children were delivered by him shared the same story. But none of us had ever heard of it before.

What jumps out at me about this case was Dhana's decision to go back to the same hospital where her lawsuit says prenatal care from her first pregnancy was lacking. Throw in the botched delivery, and I would have been running from in the other direction - especially considering she is in Queens, where it has to be easier to find another healthcare facility than it would be in rural upstate New York (where I live, and frankly got lucky considering my lack of options for obstetrical care).

Most of the commenters said as much over at the New York Daily News, where this story first appeared. But let's consider this mom's options:

If this were a case of a health insurance company forcing her to return to the same medical facility where she'd received substandard care, it's could be another example of the failings of our healthcare system in this country. In-network versus out-of-network should be set aside in favor of "good for patient" vs. "bad for patient."

If this were Dhana's own choice, however, I wonder, could she have known that the first case, the ERB's palsy in her elder son, wasn't just a fluke? Was this a case of a mom who didn't bother to do her homework on her medical choices, or more a case of a mom who simply didn't know? Her children are just a year apart, so she was struggling with a child who had a severe medical condition and a pregnancy at the same time.

Would you call this fishy or do you think this mom has a case?

Image: The Daily Mail

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The Birth of the Duggar’s 18th Child Will be Televised

SunnyChanel — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

I guess after having 17 children, yes 17, giving birth to the 18th in a room full of cameras and allowing it to be nationally televised ain’t much of a biggie. The very fertile Michelle Duggar, of TLCs 17 Kids and Counting fame, will be sharing the birth of her newest addition on an upcoming episode of the Duggar’s reality show.

The new baby will join Joshua, 20; twins Jana and John-David, both 18; Jill, 16; Jessa, 15; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 10; twins Jeremiah and Jedidiah, both nine; Jason, seven; James, six; Justin, five; Jackson, three; Johannah, two; and Jennifer, nine months. Of course the new baby will have a name that starts with a J. Or maybe they should just mix it up and name him Bob.

Source: People

No, the Vagina Doesn't 'Heal Up and Close' from Disuse

JeanneSager — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:31:00 GMT

I know what it's like to feel like your vagina is broken. It's called natural childbirth people. But I don't think even women who feel like they tore from stem to stern during the big push would refer to their va-ja-jay as an open wound.

Come to think of it, after childbirth, that place isn't open for much business for awhile. Period. Still, the Yahoo Answers idiot question of the week award goes to the poster who asked "If a vagina isn't used can it heal up and close?"

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Not only do our lady parts tend to lose their elasticity as the years pass (and children pass through them), but they are never to be referred to as a hole in need of healing. A hole in need of TLC sometimes, yes. But that answer is not for Babble version of the Nerve Media family (if you catch my drift).

My favorite "answer" was from the husband who says they can. His source? His wife. Dude, there might be a reason for that. My second favorite answer: "you didn't use it as a baby, and it didn't close." She's right, but let me tell you, that just put my mother heart a pitter pattering, knowing my daughter's cha cha is safe from being "naturally mended" as she retains her pristine childhood.

I'd ask if people are really this stupid, but unfortunately, I already know the answer. Yahoo didn't have to tell me.

Image: Brightcove

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A Grandmother's Right? Or Totally Obnoxious?

Kate Tuttle — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:23:00 GMT

A Canadian grandmother's essay about essentially crashing her daughter-in-law's birth -- including arriving after a C-section and getting to hold the baby while her daughter-in-law was still in recovery -- has prompted lots of angry comments on the newspaper site where it appeared last week.

Rhona Bennett writes of rejecting her son's advice to wait until he called to announce the baby's birth, hopping a train to Montreal, and (in cahoots with her co-grandmother) bum-rushing the hospital after a few-hour's gap in the update phone calls he was providing. The two bubbies called the hospital looking for word, and naturally were rebuffed, so off they went, in search of information, affirmation, and a grandbaby.

I think you can look at this a couple of ways. It's obviously very sweet to read of how excited Bennett was at becoming a grandmother for the first time, and you'd have to be pretty cold not to appreciate this:

On that day a vast and dazzling blend of joy, love, amazement and profound gratitude surged through me with such power, it would have shattered the mortal body that holds my spirit if my tears hadn't poured out and spread my happiness through the room and beyond.

On the other hand, she mocks her son and daughter-in-law's birthing plans (making fun of doulas, etc.), expressly disobeys their wishes, and makes it all about her. If my mother-in-law had done something like that, I don't think I'd be ready to forgive her yet, and my son is two. So, what do you think? Loving or obnoxious?

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Rural Hospitals Dropping Maternity Care

Amy Kuras — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:06:00 GMT

Living in a pretty good-size city and having good health insurance, I pretty much had my pick of hospitals to deliver my kids. The one we chose had opened a new wing with an incredibly nice mother-baby unit shortly before I delivered my daughter – and went all private rooms in the intervening three years before I gave birth to my son. Faaancy.

But in rural areas, some hospitals are dropping childbirth care altogether. While it’s usually a pretty big profit center for hospitals, according to this article from Northeast Georgia, some small hospitals are finding the expense of providing obstetrics exceeds what they could make from the small number of patients they see.

Kevin Bloye, spokesman for the Georgia Hospital Association, said, "It’s a tough time to be a rural hospital. The important factor is payer mix. In rural areas especially, the base of insured patients is shrinking. You need to have enough insured patients to offset the cost of treating Medicaid and uninsured patients."

That’s right, the healthcare crisis rears its ugly head again.

It’s not that pregnant women will have nowhere to go – two fairly nearby hospitals just opened new obstetrics units – but for people who maybe wanted a smaller, closer to home experience, that’s got to be a blow. And not only that, but they just announced this month that they’d stop delivering babies on Dec. 9. I was pretty amped up on hormones near the end, and if someone announced I would have to go elsewhere very close to the end of my pregnancy I would have lost it. Waiting out a due date is hard enough without wondering if your hospital will still be open.

Pregnant Man Receiving Death Threats

Cole Gamble — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:00:00 GMT

I guess you could file this under, “Sometimes Human Beings Are Miserable Creatures.” As you probably know, Oregon’s (my neck of the woods) Thomas Beatie, A.K.A The Pregnant Man, is pregnant again. And for this grievous offense, some people want him dead…

Not that death threats are the only troubles Beatie and his wife Nancy have weathered. Of course you have the mockery of kooks, regular citizens and late night talk show hosts. Then you have FOX News. During Beatie’s first pregnancy, a FOX News commentator declared Beatie’s child would be an “Ewok Baby” and that it would be born with a “third eye.” Yep, those words from the reputable, “Fair and Balanced,” journalistic institution that is FOX News.

People are bound to find Beatie and his life weird, perhaps gross, maybe even go so far as to deem it “wrong.” I don’t begrudge regular people for making water cooler talk out of this person’s life; we’re all a little catty deep down. And I’ll admit he played a part in stepping into the spotlight. But death threats? I don’t get why who he is and how he lives his life could make anyone that mad, why they find it so necessary to wipe out all that is unique and interesting about this world. Then again, there’s a lot I don’t get. I was taught to believe this was a country of individuality, where everyone is free, nay, encouraged to make their own path. So if somebody decides to live a certain way and it doesn’t hurt anyone, who the hell cares?

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Pain in Childbirth May Be, Well, Pointless Now?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Hmmm, this is real interesting. Some natural childbirth advocates suggest that the pain in childbirth adds something valuable to the birth process, helping mothers bond with their babies and even bringing um, sexual pleasure (in some cases, but not mine, oh lordy no!) However, a study discussed here in Salon (via Jezebel) suggests that theory may be backwards. Instead, labor and delivery pain might have served to signal to the mother that she should seek assistance, and in fact drive her to desire "companionship and security" from others. From an evolutionary standpoint, this could have meant people who sought help and protection during times like childbirth and illness were more likely to survive. (Hey, if the degree of labor pain indicated individual evolutionary fitness, I would have totally had it made! Um, it doesn't, by the way.)

So, if pain has simply functioned to drive delivering mothers to seek companionship (personals ad, anyone?) then perhaps it's a perk we don't really need any more. And it could be that people are suffering without it serving any real need. Cough.

Okay, I'm sorry, but I like this take on things, curmudgeon that I am. I do think in some circles there's a strange sort of romanticism attached to labor pain, and even the idea of "natural" childbirth as being somehow noble or righteous. Buuut, that said, there are risks attached to the interventions designed to alleviate the pain of labor, and women should be informed of those as well before making any decision. I think the problem is that childbirth is so fraught with anxiety for so many of us---not only because it hurts, but because lots of us want to make the "right" choice for our babies and ourselves. Turns out "right" for me was an blessed, welcome epidural administered after I tried to go natural for a long time, but I would not think of telling you it ought to be the right way for you.

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In My Next Life, I'm Birthing Pandas

Madeline Holler — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 13:32:00 GMT

Those damn human brains! So large even in babies that childbirth for humans is, relative to much of the rest of the animal kingdom, quite painful.

Check out this short video of a panda giving birth. So fast, so painless, she didn't need a birth plan or a doula! Of course, I wouldn't trade ...

cute receiving blankets and a warm wet cloth to clean the baby for all the teeth in my mouth (no matter how efficient that may be to pick up a newborn).

Woman Twitters During Childbirth

SunnyChanel — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:26:00 GMT

You’re in the hospital and you’re about to go through what will undoubtedly be the most painful and life alerting event of your entire existence, and what do you do? You twitter.

Okay, you probably wouldn’t. But uber-sharer Ginny-Marie Case did. This mommy to be spent her childbirth journey, alledgedly, not only pushing out her offspring but twittering her magic moment to her “followers” with tidbits like""At 4 cm. Epidural is in. Doing well."

Now, I’m not a fan of the twitter, yeah, yeah, I know. It’s a “great communication tool” and a “great way to keep in touch with your community” but really do you need to really keep tabs on each and every movement, action and emotion I’m feeling throughout the day? Yeah, I think not. I’m sure there are applications for twittering that would be tolerable to me, but I have yet to find one. When I communicate, I tend to go on and on and boiling down a experience, such as giving birth, in just one or two sentence spurts just seems to be like information vomit, a bunch of noise and nonsense. Now blogging, there’s a craft!

VIA Valleywag ("We read Twitter So You Don't Have To")

Having Another Baby After a Traumatic Birth

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

While I would normally be wary of offering news about a celebrity who didn’t know who either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama was, I’m making an exception in this case: the singer and TV star Suzanne Shaw has said that she is terrified of having another baby since the birth of her son was so difficult. I was interested to learn about this soon after writing about a study that found that nearly one-tenth of women suffer from post traumatic stress disorder after giving birth.

Cautious about the language of the study, I asked for readers to weigh in based on their personal experiences. The result was a chorus of women resoundingly and movingly arguing that PTSD is a completely understandable result of a difficult childbirth experience.

Now Suzanne Shaw (who admittedly may be a stranger to those of you who are not faithful followers of either the Brit Babe Invasion or Dancing on Ice) has joined her voice to those arguing for the legitimacy of the study. Her son Corey was born three years ago and she remains afraid of having another baby, even though she wants more kids. “It will take another couple of years before I decide to have another child,” she said.

How have other women coped with the fear of having a second baby after a traumatic first birth?

Photo: NOW Magazine

Does Childbirth Cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:48:00 GMT

“I call childbirth my very own Vietnam. You weren’t there, maaaan.” So writes a playful Jezebel reader. But the study that she’s responding to is no joke: the Wall Street Journal reports that 9 percent of women suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) caused by childbirth.

While I am all for airing any form of emotional trauma so that the sufferers can be treated and healed, I am partly sympathetic to Jezebel’s skeptical take on this new study by Childbirth Connection (a nonprofit organization). Something about applying the term PTSD to childbirth irks me. Post traumatic stress disorder is most commonly associated with war veterans and victims of extreme violence; applying it to new mothers makes maternity seem like a pathology. Plus, Jezebel writer Jessica points out that the incidence of PTSD in postpartum women, according to this new study, is the same as the incidence of PTSD-like anxiety experienced by the general population.

On the other hand, there’s no denying the fact that some births are so riddled with problems that “traumatic” is the only way to describe them. Take the case of Liv Lane, who, after 29 hours in labor, gave birth to an infant with a collapsed lung. Her baby was immediately taken away from her with no explanation, and her requests for more pain medication were ignored. At her postpartum checkup, she told the nurse practitioner that she was suicidal and couldn’t stop crying. The nurse suggested that she read some parenting magazines and sent her home.

Perhaps this study reflects not the inherent trauma of childbirth, but the trauma of inadequate medical care in highly stressful situations.

Any mothers out there who have suffered from traumatic birth experiences? Do you think that even births that go smoothly could cause PTSD in some women?

Photo: National Library of Medecine

Woman Gives Birth In Bathroom After Hospital Sends Her Home Twice

Amy S.F. Lutz — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:27:00 GMT

It was my greatest fear as my first pregnancy drew to a close: going to the hospital too early, and being sent home. What could be more demoralizing, or more anticlimactic? So as my husband begged me to let him drive me to the hospital, I kept calling my midwife, who told me she could tell from my breathing, from the tone of my voice, that I still had more laboring to do at home - until that final call, at about 4:00 in the morning, when she told me it was time.

Canadian Tracy Alphonse, 21, thought it was time - twice. She went to St. Mary's Hospital Center in Montreal on Friday night, but was sent home. On Saturday, her water broke, so she was taken by ambulance back to St. Mary's - and was sent home a second time. Alphonse told reporters, "Even after my water broke, I was sent away and told I was wasting their time and if I came back by ambulance, I would have to pay for the transportation."

Nice. Very professional and sympathetic to a woman in labor.

Mere hours after returning home, Alphonse - with the help of her boyfriend - gave birth in her bathroom to a healthy 6 lb., 3 oz. baby girl.

Hospital officials report that the case is "under review." Good. I've never heard of a pregnant woman being told to go home once her water has broken, and I can't believe that's consistent with hospital policy.

Ohh, Baby - Orgasmic Birth Video

Brett Singer — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Some things go great together. Chocolate and peanut butter. Milk and cookies. Childbirth and orgasms.

What, you disagree? You think that it's unbelievably weird to be thinking about sex while your child is being born? What are you, a stiff?

There's a scene in Edward Albee's play "The Goat or Who is Sylvia?" (which is about a man who -- SPOILER ALERT -- cheats on his wife with a goat) when the father (who is having an affair with a goat) is comforting his son and talking about becoming sexually aroused at a certain inappropriate time (when a baby is bouncing on your lap). His friend enters and overhears the conversation, saying, "Is there anything that doesn't turn you people on?"

That's what I thought of when I saw this video. What possible good can come from reaching orgasm while you give birth? Why does it have to be either insanely painful or insanely pleasurable? Why not something in between?

If somebody wants to give birth outside of a hospital, that's their business. (Unless they want to do it RIGHT outside a hospital, on the street. That seems like a bad idea.) Madeline Holler just wrote a terrific essay on home births. But why does it need to be a sexual experience? And before you say, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it," let me be the first to tell you that trying it isn't an issue, because it'll never happen.

Here's the video. You tell me what the creepy factor is. For me, on a scale of one to ten, this is an eleven. But maybe I'm just uptight.

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Is Peeing When You Sneeze a Disorder?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:14:00 GMT

Does this study make you pee your pants? Or do you pee your pants all the time anyway? Because it turns out loads of women -- like one in three -- have some kind of pelvic floor disorder and often that disorder involves some kind of leaking.

One in three? That's a lot of women who suffer frequent urination, urinary incontinence, prolapsed organs (!) and, the big mama of pelvic floor disorders, anal incontinence. Of course childbirth is pointed to as a possible cause -- nearly 80 percent of the 4,000 women studied had given birth.

But what's got me all pissy about this report -- in addition to not knowing how many of those who had disorders had ever given birth -- is there is no information on what about those births may have caused or contributed to the problems. Instead of just living with these disorders or finding ways to fix them, I bet a lot of women would like to prevent them.

Namely, I'm thinking of episiotomies and having women push babies out on their backs -- which has been shown time again to needlessly stress and even tear the perineum. Also, some say these bladder disorders can be a side-effect of c-section.

Doctors participating in the study recommend sufferers educate themselves about the disorders online and by talking to their docs. Often physical therapy can improve matters. And they also recommend, in some cases, reconstructive surgery of the pelvic floor. No word on keeping the floor clear of these problems in the first place.

Photo: aol.com

Scream-Free Births

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:20:00 GMT

My husband and I took a six-week childbirth class about a month before my due date. The instructor was unquestionably pro-drug-free labors. So, in addition to going over all the anatomy charts and talking about our fears and how we handle pain, etc., we also watched a ton of birth movies. Tons and tons and tons. Her goal was to bore the fear out of us, I think. In fact, by the end of the six weeks, we'd seen birth from all angles -- you know, except the angle of actually experiencing it, which by then felt a little beside the point.

There was one video in particular, shot some time in the early 80s judging from the hair/hiked up jeans on the dad, that really stuck with me. The woman was so calm and checked out and focused on the birth. She didn't even mind writhing around naked with her legs wide open during her minister's quick visit to say "hi." She kind of got on my nerves.

While I was laboring and eventually pushing out my first kid, I thought of this woman. I reasoned that if this insane preacher-flasher could stay calm and have a baby, so could I. And I did!

But since nobody goes to childbirth classes anymore, I'll give you a YouTube version of mine -- it's not me, she's reaching the level of calm like I tried to and like the 80s mom did. I've come across some others with laboring women who are just as calm -- no, calmer! -- than my inspiring/annoying laborer. You won't want to watch them at work, as the camera captures EV.ER.Y.THING. Happy labors!

Man Gets Vasectomy, Tells Us About It

Kelly Mills — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:37:00 GMT

In Slate there was an essay on one guy's vasectomy. I could probably summarize it with, "Having a vasectomy is an awkward and scary experience." I get that. I mean, who wants one of their most beloved parts operated on? And the essayist, Michael Lewis, states he had the snip snip for his wife, who had already dealt with three pregnancies, labors, and deliveries, plus "changed most of the diapers, gotten up most of the mornings, and, on top of it all, given me the leisure to write many articles complaining about the inconveniences of fatherhood." Nice lady.

So dude, I want you to know that I totally sympathize with your discomfort at having your balls shaved by a nurse and your squeamishness over the cutting of the man-parts. But there is this tiny little voice in my head saying, "Uh, at least it wasn't childbirth." I don't want to get into some one-upping thing, but dealing with nine months of discomfort culminating in an event that often involves serious pain, some lasting body trauma, and involuntarily crapping in front of your doctor is no picnic. And I missed why the author thinks he's a "traitor to his sex." Huh? Shooting blanks doesn't translate to letting the boys down, any more than giving birth makes us ladies true women. But whatever, just be grateful you didn't have someone telling you just to breathe and try not to push yet.

The (Technical) Making of a Live Birth

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 23:28:00 GMT

I've never been on the business end of a birth, having only witnessed my own babies being born and, well, I'm guessing things look different from the top. But I would love -- LOVE -- to watch somebody give birth (yes, going to Ricki Lake's movie is on the list). Even the close substitutes are just fascinating.

Which is why I think this is such a cool video. It's the birth scene from the 2006 movie "Children of Men," annotated to show you how they made it all look so convincing and real. I saw the movie and remember thinking, "no way did they let a woman give birth in a movie studio!" but also wondering how they attached an umbilical cord to an actual newborn, and how smearing gunk all over the baby didn't break some kind of labor (ha, ha) laws and all that. Well ... this is how they did it! Cool! So cool.

via videosift.com

Christina Aguilera Has Baby--And Jennifer Block Preaches C-Sections

Kelly Mills — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 13:57:00 GMT

Yesterday was the date the mags and rags told us one Christina to the Aguilera had her baby, possibly by scheduled cesarean section. Jennifer Block wrote our fair lady an open letter on HuffPo before the blessed event, opening with the statement that it is every woman's choice how she does her birth. Buuuut c-sections are so much more dangerous for mom and baby, have a longer recovery time, and are more painful. She notes that if Xtina is going non-hoo hoo birth for cosmetic reasons, she should know about the belly skin overhang that is the aftermath of the "C". Block tells Xtina that since she has all the money and resources at her disposal, perhaps she could consider a home birth, an option not even available to most women. She stops short at mentioning the possibility a vaginal birth can make you orgasm. And now I'm actually feeling bad for Xtina.

See, I get why people don't want births to be so medicalized, and I do believe home births should be legal and I'm fully supportive of however anyone wants to get the little bundle to emerge. But damn, leaving aside the fact that we have no real idea what Xtina did, if she wanted or needed a c-section, then I say leave her the hell alone. I mean, if she had some medical reason for the "C" would anyone decent then launch into the litany of how much more dangerous it is than vaginal birth? Naw, the assumption is that she's doing to avoid birth pain (as reported) or for vanity or convenience. Well, so what? It's her life, her baby. Just because she's famous, doesn't mean she has to be earth mama for us all, resources at her disposal or not. I have to tell you that at times, some folks in the natural home birth camp bug the hell out of me with all the preaching. For some people birth is better at home, and for others, an epidural and a doc are a better fit, and for still others, a c-section is going to be the way to go, and even an imperative. I guess I think it doesn't matter as much how the babies come out, and more that everyone gets support and non-judge-y love.

Come Again? Orgasmic Childbirth?

Kelly Mills — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 16:23:00 GMT

It would be criminal not to report on this one: Jezebel had this bit on women who have orgasms during childbirth. Yes, that would be an orgasm during childbirth.

Yep.

Now, I've had a few days to absorb this one so my reaction has been tempered by time. Why, I was even able to click on the link and read the stories, something I could not make myself do for like, four days. And now that I've mellowed a little, I'll say I understand the connection between pain and sex (though in my experience, childbirth pain was a completely different kind of praying-for-death pain) and I would not want anyone to feel ashamed of a surprise O, so that's what I've got on the positive side.

But that does NOT mean I want to hear the details of the birthing orgasm, because I'd actually like to have sex again, thanks. No more of this: "A woman in California was giving birth at home in a portable birth tub and feeling very sexy and loving with her partner. Each time she had a contraction she would cry out, 'Oh, baby, I love it. More...more!' Her windows were open because it was July, and soon a crowd gathered outside her home. When the baby was born amidst shouts of 'Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, my God, yes!!!' her neighbors gave her a great round of applause. They only realized that it was a birth after they heard the cries of a baby."

Yeah, that was one of the tame ones. And there's a couple more reasons I don't wanna hear about it. The stories skeeved me out in a big way. I do not ever want to know about anyone's oiled vagina sexy baby coming. Bleugh. And because while birth might have been goody-goody sweaty Goddess primal power for a few of you, I'd rather be waterboarded than do childbirth again. The fact that some people orgasm is maybe proof the universe hates me so much, because, um, not me, AT ALL. Should I ever make the mistake of allowing myself to get into that mess for a second time, I'll have them hook me up to a non-stop epidural at the first Braxton-Hicks. Oh, and if you made a spectrum of how childbirth felt, my experience would be over here, 'bearable' would be somewhere near Mars, and 'orgasmic' would be in a galaxy so far away Captain Kirk hasn't even dreamed about the hot alien chicks who live there yet.

"Honey, on the day you were born, I had the most amazing orgasm." "Could you please shoot me now, mom?"

No thank you. If you O'd, you've got company. Great. But no more TMI.