Strollerderby : children first

What's Wrong with "Women and Children First?"

JeanneSager — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 13:02:00 GMT

The crash of Flight 1549 came just when the nation needed it - a crisis averted, a hero in our midst, nearly two hundred people saved. Next to the inaguration, it's the brightest spot what's been an otherwise bleak American horizon of late.

But we're a country that thrives on some sort of scandal - so it's no surprise the heroism of Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger has quickly turned to criticism of the age-old (at least one hundred and fifty-some year-old) standard of evacuating people in case of tragedy: "women and children first."

To be fair, I'm biased. I am, after all, a woman. I'm also a mother. So women and children rank pretty high on my list. By all accounts, I should be rushing to the defense of the mandate Jezebel aptly dubbed "strangely quaint" and "old fashioned."

A lot of what Jezebel's Sadie said made sense - there has to be some organizational basis for getting people moved from here to there, and few would argue with a child's right to be cut the line in light of a tragedy. Children first, at least, is almost irrefutable. They still have a chance at a life. They still have time left to make a difference.

But Sadie makes one very salient point - kids need caregivers when they're rescued. And last I checked, caregivers come in all forms - daddies too. So what happens when we stick to "women and children first?" If a child is traveling with their Dad in tow, is the screaming tot ripped from his arms and thrust into those of a stranger, wriggling and crying? Add a toddler torquing his body in frustration to an already stressful situation, and you've just lost precious moments.The organizaton you're striving for can be dealt that fatal blow with the moments lost calming them down.

Yes, I would want to get off a sinking plane as quickly as possible - and with my daughter in my arms. But as important as I would hope someone thinks I am in my daughter's life, so too is my husband, my father, my brother . . . I am not a he-man hating feminist (yes, some of them still exist). If one of them were there with my child, I would hope that an able-bodied adult would be willing to let child and "male relative caregiver" take the place of "mother/woman."

Perhaps the more appropriate choice is children - with appropriate caregiver - first, to be followed by whomever the pilot and his crew thinks can be gotten to next in the most organized fashion?

Image: AP

Fire Starts While Toddler has Mom Locked in the Basement

Zimbabwe Releases Jailed Toddler

Mom Says Hospital Fouled Childbirth - Twice

Survey Time: How Will Becoming a Mother Change You?

Balancing Work and Parenting—When You're the First Lady

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:00:00 GMT

It’s hard to think of a more challenging place to balance work and parenting than the White House. But in an interview with Newsweek, Michelle Obama explains how she plans to continuing to being a “mom first.”

Fortunately, according to Michelle, Barack “loves hard work” and she loves “timetables and timelines and all that good stuff,” so they’re maintaining their cool in the face of a massive transition.

She hopes to continue keeping family life separate from work life, which she says she and Barack have mostly managed to do for the last year-and-a-half. She acknowledges that it will doubtless become more challenging once they’re in the White House, but says that “staying connected to friends and family who know you” helps. To the end, she’s hoping that her mother will move to D.C. with them, so she can continue to be actively involved in her granddaughters' lives.

Michelle has been adamant about finding the right schools for Sasha and Malia, attending parent-teacher conferences and all of their events, and getting them involved in activities they’re excited about—in other words, she and Barack will remain devoted, hands-on parents “no matter what their father’s job is.”

Michelle believes this level of commitment is important not only for Sasha and Malia, but as a model for other families: if even the president of the United States helps his kids with his homework, we can all find time to help our kids with their homework. “[Kids] have to be center in this society and this nation. We have to put their education, their needs, their well-being first and foremost. As adults, we can balance the other stuff. We're the grown-ups,” Michelle said, laughing.

As for the criticism she faced on the campaign trail, Michelle said, “Regardless of how they feel about Barack or the candidates, people are decent and they're kind. They are willing to give you a chance to prove yourself to them.” Now there is a lesson to pass on to our kids.

Balancing Work and Parenting—When You're a Campaign Reporter

Can a Presidential Candidate Be a Family Man?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 18:30:00 GMT

I can’t help noticing that the announcement of McCain’s vice presidential pick has conveniently upstaged all reports of Barack Obama’s acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention (which you can watch here).

While I, too, am shocked and fascinated by the fact that McCain’s running mate is an inexperienced, staunchly anti-choice woman whom only he’s only met one time, let’s not forget to keep our eyes on Obama and Biden.

Much of the reports on Palin have focused, on the one hand, on her decision not to abort her child with down’s syndrome (if this makes her a hero, our nation has set the bar abysmally low), and on questions about her commitment to her five children, including an infant, on the other hand. So, if we’re going to judge Palin’s parenting record, what do we know about Obama’s? Obama has repeatedly urged parents to be more involved in their children’s lives, and his own interactions with his daughters Sasha and Malia indicate that he is truly a devoted, loving father.

This short video from the DNC shows the Obama family chatting, albeit in a very stilted environment. While the strong love amongst the Obamas is clear, one could argue that the children of any presidential nominee will inevitably suffer as their parents are consumed by the campaign. What do you think—is it possible to compete for the White House while putting your children first?

Photo: BrotherPeaceMaker