Strollerderby : co-sleeping

City's 5th Co-Sleeping Death in 10 Weeks Reported

Madeline Holler — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:29:00 GMT

Milwaukee authorities are blaming the death of yet another baby on co-sleeping. In 10 weeks, five babies have died during the night while sleeping out of a crib.

Meekel McCleave was just two months old when her mother, who had also co-slept with her other children, woke up and found the small newborn face down. Public health officials are once again decrying the practice of co-sleeping, precisely because of outcomes like this.

The death of these five babies is a complete tragedy -- sad, heartbreaking and avoidable. But what gets me, an experienced co-sleeper, is that co-sleeping is taking the blame and getting the headlines in these deaths. But a closer look sheds a little more light.

In Meekel's case, a medical examiner's report indicates the baby was found face-down on an adult-size pillow. That's hardly safe co-sleeping. And face down? The baby was two months old. What two month old can roll over? Just based on the information in the article, there was a lot going wrong in that family bed, though Meekel's mom disputes the pillow situation.

What about the other four cases? Here, read for yourself:

On March 8, 6-day old Ceianna Buchanan died while sleeping on a couch with her mother. The mother admitted to police she got drunk the night before.

On April 5, 3-month old Kymarius Hunt died sleeping on a couch with his grandmother. She later admitted to drinking 8 beers.

On April 19, 2-month old Tyler Winston died sharing a bed with his mother.

On April 25, 6-week old Demetrius Kimble died sleeping in bed with both parents. His mother admitted to drinking prior to falling asleep.

So, drunk, drunk, unknown and drunk.

Was co-sleeping the problem in any or all of these cases? Or was it booze and/or unsafe situations.

For many families, co-sleeping is the one way everybody gets sleep. And done safely, it's safe! But what is safe co-sleeping? For one, no drugs or drinking. For another, no babies on or near pillows. And also, don't sleep with babies on a couch or in chairs. How about an information campaign about that, instead of just saying, "no, don't do it"?

I mean, my motive isn't just to defend the practice of co-sleeping. I don't want to learn of any more kids dying as a result of some stupid form of it.

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Miley Cyrus Does It, But Would You Let Your Teen Sleep in Your Bed?

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:32:00 GMT

Think you've got it bad trying to kick your cosleeping toddler out of your bed? Actress and singer Miley Cyrus recently told Glamour she still likes to crawl into bed with mom and dad on occasion, and she's sixteen.

Cyrus told Glamour she sometimes feel immature for her age, and she related that to a desire to sleep with mom and dad, specifically cuddling with her mom, after a long day.

I truly can't imagine having crawled into bed with my parents at sixteen. Perhaps it speaks to how much tighter-knit the Cyrus family is; I was your typical teenage girl at odds with her mother and then some. But it sounds like they might be a little too tight-knit.

Not in a sexual way. At least, I'm not concerned that there's anything inappropriate between child and parents. I do wonder, how do mom and dad resume a normal sex life after their kids have gotten out of the infant or even early toddler stage if they don't know if their kid might wander into their room in the middle of the night? When does the family bed return to the marital bed?

My daughter is three and a half, and she usually crawls into our bed first thing in the morning - she usually wakes up before we do. But where she sits at the end of the bed with a coloring book or her stuffed Piglet for a few minutes to at most maybe half an hour each morning, she rarely sleeps with us.

That's usually reserved for nights when she's sick, when my husband or I initiate her coming into our bed. It's for comfort, mostly, ours as much as hers - I would be jumping up to check on her in the next room anyway. Even then, it's hardly pleasant. She kicks. She windmills her body, turning so she's spread horizontally across the bed, and my husband and I are driven to our two very separate sides of the bed. I don't enjoy sleeping with my daughter in the bed, and the sleep is hardly restorative.

After a certain age, kids just get to be too big physically to share a bed with two adults. They also prevent parents from having ANY time alone together, as two people who love each other for the sake of each other - not just because they share a connection to one not-so little body.

I haven't figured out what the age is - my daughter is still three and still needs me - sometimes - even though she's been out of our room since she was old enough to sleep through the night.

Where and when do you think parents should close the door on their kids?

Image: Wikipedia

Controversy: Extreme Measures

Amy S.F. Lutz — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:31:00 GMT

What does a boy spending a night in foster care because his father gave him a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade have to do with L.A.'s recent labeling of co-sleeping as a "lethal act"?

(Besides the fact that both were lambasted by our own Madeline Holler this week, I mean?)

Well, does anyone else think that authorities in general have become much more, well, authoritative of late? And by that I mean: more codified, less flexible, more punitive, less sensitive?

Readers of these posts were reminded of similarly extreme responses to relatively benign situations. Anisa wrote, "I heard recently of a woman *arrested* for dashing into a convenience store for less than five minutes while her kids were in the car - a suburban area, in cool and comfortable temperatures - and the kids were ages ten and two!"

Is it our lawsuit-happy culture that's brought this on ourselves? I can certainly imagine the security guard who ratted out the dad thinking, "If this kid's mom finds out I just watched while her seven-year-old kid downed a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade, I'm going to lose my job/my pension/my entire life's savings if she sues my sorry ass."

Or maybe those who complain about the "dumbing down of America" are right on. As froggemom noted, "it is far too complicated for a public health message to explain what safe co-sleeping is. I guess its better to say never, than to say only with [certain] conditions."

They Say: Co-Sleeping Kills Kids

Madeline Holler — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:03:00 GMT

Officials in Los Angeles County are warning parents that co-sleeping is a "potentially lethal act."

So are car-riding, grape-eating and breathing the county's lead-rich air, but no mention of those in the same report, which was issued by the Los Angeles County Inter-Agency Council on Child Abuse and Neglect.

The report claimed that 44 children died from co-sleeping in the county in 2006, a 76 percent increase over the previous year. The defined co-sleeping as the practice of the sleeping in the same bed, couch or chair with an infant.

Unfortunately, those statistics don't tell us exactly how many of those deaths were in a couch or chair -- something even ardent supporters of co-sleeping agree is super risky. They also don't tell us how many of those involved a co-sleeping adult who had gone to bed drunk or on drugs.

I don't think co-sleeping is for everyone, but it was definitely for me and my babies. We were smart about it -- daddy slept elsewhere after a night of heavy drinking, for example. But we also didn't use any of the contraptions out there -- sidecar, crib-on-a-bed, stuff like that. Just cut back on bedding and pillows, that's all.

What's got me extra bugged about this report, is the agency it comes out of. The Council on Child Abuse and Neglect? Who knew I we'd fall in the demographic for THAT?

So what do you think about co-sleeping? Did you do it? Was it scary? Could you have survived without it?

Photo: babyart.org

Co-Sleeping: Is 13 Too Old?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 23:09:00 GMT

I'm admittedly anti-co-sleeping -- not because I think it's not cuddly and bond-forming, but because I usually wake up with a footprint on my forehead or an eye gouged out and lying on the pillow next to me. So whenever I hear about someone co-sleeping with a child, I immediately think: "sucker" and "Hope you have a good helmet!"

But when I read this Dear Abby about a dad who co-sleeps with his 13-year-old daughter, I immediately thought: "Well that's just bizarre. For both of them, really."

The letter goes that a woman dating "Jim" doesn't like the fact that Jim's daughter, Jenna, sleeps in dad's bed. (Jim is divorced and Jenna also co-sleeps at mom's house.)

It gets a little more bizarre actually.

Jenna also shares her father's master bedroom and closet with him as if she were his wife. Please understand, this girl has a lavish bathroom of her own connected to a princess-style bedroom that contains everything a girl could ever wish for.

But she prefers to shack up with dad, and dad is just fine with it. If you were Dear Abby, what would you tell him?

When to Ignore the Pediatrician

Madeline Holler — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Is it ever a good idea to ignore the pediatrician's advice? After all, they're the experts, right?

Wrong!

A handful of doctors were interviewed, and here's what they say about some of their own advice: ignore it, sometimes. Here are five instances when it might be a good idea to nod politely and then carry on as usual:

1. Don't pick up your baby in the middle of the night. Can't stand the crying? Then don't -- if you can stand that.

2. Baby should be at home with Mom. Not only is this so far from reality, it's also never been shown to be harmful. It's a personal choice, not a medical one.

3. Don't give your baby triple nipple confusion. Breast, bottle and pacifier aren't necessarily bad in combination. If you think it's a problem, take away one or more of the nipple types. But there's little evidence to show that nipple confusion is guaranteed.

4. Your baby must eat solids by 6 months. If they're not interested, why push it?

5. Take the paci away! Doctors have their own opinions about age and pacifiers. It's good to remember, these are opinions. Unless the pacifier is interfering with speech and tooth development, there's no need if the kid (and you) aren't ready.

That's what the article says. What about you? What advice did you ignore? Here, I'll start. I ignored the doctor's advice and didn't give my breastfed daughter's iron supplements. And guess what? They're not anemic!

Photo: Guardian.uk

Keep Kids From Messing Up Your Sex Life

Kelly Mills — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:01:00 GMT

By way of the Huffington Post, we now have some tips for ensuring your kids don't ruin your sex life. I'm a little underwhelmed. Guess what is number one? Take out your knives co-sleepers, because the top tip is: Separate beds. Now, I'm not even a family bed kinda gal, but I do know you can have sex in more places than just a bed at nighttime. But maybe group slumber does inhibit the nasty--you can let me know.

Other tips mostly center around making sure everyone gets enough sleep; setting aside couple time in the form of the adult-only vacation and regular date nights; and keeping arguments over discipline and such out of the bedroom (unless you are talking about the other kind of discipline and that happens to be your thing.) Nothing too revolutionary here, though the date night thing always irks me. I know we enjoy date night so much we decided to make it an annual event. I mean, does anyone actually manage to do this with real regularity? The cost of babysitting and a movie or a meal alone necessitates we dip into the kid's college fund. But hey, maybe you regularly do a night out with your sweetie, or even your spouse, so I'll suspend my total disbelief in case scientists discover the rare couple who does this all the time.

Mom Likes Sick Kids and Lice

Madeline Holler — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:29:00 GMT

An AlphaMummy at the Times lists all the stuff she thought she would hate about parenting but turns out to have enjoyed. I'm so not relating.

I mean, she lists "taking care of sick kids" at No. 1. I would say that's one of the things I wasn't looking forward too, and for good reason: it's far worse than I ever imagined (Mommy's a little sleep-sensitive.)

What else has unexpectedly brought her joy: the smell of her kids dirty pants and picking through their hair for lice. Seriously? I think I might be jealous. As for dirty pants, I'm neutral, but wouldn't it be great if I loved them? The lice, though, forget it. Granted, I have no experience there yet, but I can't imagine it being the least bit, as she describes it, "satisfying" (Mommy's also got bug issues.)

This AlphaMummy also likes helping with homework (makes her feel smart), coloring, instructing her kids in "hard-core feminism" and co-sleeping (mostly the comments on her post turn into a debate on co-sleeping. We're so over that though, aren't we?).

So what about you? If you didn't raise your hand -- what anticipated drudgery has turned out to be fun? Anything you thought you'd love that you are more than eager to turn over to your partner?

I thought I was going to hate children's TV, and sure, it can be crappy. But I have "my shows" (Arthur being one, Clifford being NOT one.) I expected the worst of car trips with young kids but I actually look forward to them -- the crappy food, the whining, the same CD 2,000 times. Fun.

On the flip side, I thought I'd love giving baths, pre-kids, but it's not my favorite (too much prep-work and clean up) and I found myself surprisingly bored with so much of the reading material meant for 4- to 6-year-old's.

Your turn!

Out of My Bed, Kid! Sliding Down the Slippery Slope to Co-Sleeping

Karen Murphy — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 15:31:00 GMT

I used to mock, in the privacy of my mind, those parents who were chained to their kids' beds, chained to an endless nightly routine of lying down wth the kid, lying down in silence and stillness, hardly daring to breathe, sometimes for hours until said kid finally fell asleep, sometimes not until the wee hours of the night.

"Stupid jackasses," I'd mutter (in my head). "How do parents become such suckers?"

Then, one day, I became one of Those Parents. And now I understand:

Sometimes You Do What You Have To Do.

End of story.

I have FOUR kids, by the way, and it wasn't until #4 that I became the mom whose kid demands/insists I lie down with him. Because otherwise he won't sleep. Otherwise there is crying. Or, worse, he impinges upon my parental Alone Time and comes downstairs and starts playing like he belongs there, ignoring my futile pleas/commands to go back up to his bed. I have learned my lesson with that. He's 4 years old next week, and every night we lie down together on MY bed, whereupon he promptly goes to sleep. Then I get up and sneak away like any self-respecting parent would. Then when I return a couple hours later I scoop him up and put him in his bed. Every night. Every freaking night. Without fail, without deviation. Because any deviation results in a Night of Horror, and who wants that?

So what to do?

Rachael bribes her kids with candy to get them to stay in their beds (sorry for outing you, Rach). I haven't resorted to this method yet but it's tempting. But lots of parents grapple with this. I know I'm not alone. Listen to this: "Look at your own emotional reaction. [to bed-sharing] If your emotional reaction is anger or guilt or frustration, something's wrong,"

Anger? Well, no. Guilt? Not at all. Frustration? BINGO!!

"Experts" agree that any transition away from such an arrangement takes "a few weeks". Gah. Anybody have any easier, sure-fire methods of getting my kid to sleep in HIS bed, without me? Tonight?

Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Madeline Holler — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:02:00 GMT

I don’t remember when my husband and I decided to co-sleep with our firstborn. I know it was well before her birth, because I remember turning down the offer of a crib from a work friend on the same day I announced to the office that I was pregnant. How I knew anything about co-sleeping or that it was even an option, I have no idea.

Which, really, doesn’t that just prove that it’s the most natural thing to do?

Oh, but time to sharpen the claws, because my colleagues here at Strollerderby mostly don’t agree. Two-thirds of them have been caging their babies since birth – though Jessica mentioned (rather defensively) that she “used a crib bumper.” Mmmmhmmmm. Was it stuffed with downy-soft love and security?

This Strollerderby Smackdown: Co-sleepers Rumble came to a head when I innocently mentioned a New York Times article about how 15 percent of us admit to sleeping with baby and many, many more do it in secret. The author, for example, still shares a pillow with her third-grader. (Hey, did I just hear you judge her?)

Anyway, a doctor who studies these things says there are three kinds of co-sleepers – those who want to breastfeed and think bed-sharing is good for their emotional development (that’s me!); those who have to because there aren’t enough beds; and those who just wind up doing it, because the kid comes in at night or there’s a thunderstorm or the child is sick (that’s Karen!). See? Isn’t co-sleeping great.

The doctor didn’t create categories for baby-cagers, probably because it’s just too sad to think about a child all alone in a dark room “crying it out.” That quivering baby finger’s pointing at you, Mike (our resident stay-at-home "dad")! “My tips for co-sleeping: Buy bottle of wine. Buy steak. Send wife away for the night. Put kid in crib and shut the door. Yes, there were tears from both of us. But the steak was also really good.” You know, I’m just not seeing the sacrifice, Mike. (The steak sounds good, though. Medium rare?)

Rachael feels strongly that infants need to learn early to not be “such needy, needy babies.” She’s got her young ones in a “gated bunk bed” (aka: toddler cage, hello!). She defends her choices (see? It’s all about her! What about her children?!) and says families who co-sleep have a higher rate of divorce. I’m pretty sure she made that up. She also mentions “healthy boundaries.” Whatever. Spoken like a true prison warden.

Kelly not only abandoned her baby every night and twice daily for naps in a cold, dark, private room -- she Ferberized her. Something about, well, in her words: "I put my kid in the crib and let her cry, because that's what babies do, they cry, all the damn time, so let ‘em do it in another room so I can get some sleep. Plus I didn't want her to turn into some weak-chinned namby-pamby still begging for my teat when she turned twelve.” With that attitude, you're making ME cry! I'm just saying ... (What does crying sound like, anyway? My kids, with their emotionally met needs, never did.)

In Kelly’s defense, Jessica’s incessant politicization of this likely steered her from making the better choice: “Thousands of years and hundreds of cultures say you are right. But this is America!!!!, dudes, and we do shit differently here.” Save it for the election, Jessica, save it for the election.

And that’s it, folks. A major battle in the Mommy Wars fought out here on Strollerderby. (Karen, I think co-sleepers totally won!)

Readers on the frontline, which side are you on (and yes, according to international treaties, all parents are required to choose a side)?

If Co-Sleeping is Good Enough for Brangelina It's Good Enough For Me

Karen Murphy — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:58:00 GMT

The co-sleeping controversy: proponents say the family bed reduces risk of SIDS, helps everyone sleep better, and is the more "natural" way to sleep, while those who oppose say it increases risk of SIDS and adds risk of being suffocated, and helps everyone sleep better. While I have my own views on the subject, it's obvious that what we should really do is consult the world's foremost parenting expert:

Brangelina.

Who presently sleeps on a custom 9-foot wide bed along with four kids. But when they spawn again, or adopt a regiment or something, and you know they will unless they begin consuming their young, they'll add on another 2 feet of real estate onto the bed.

I'll bet the Duggars co-sleep too.

Me? Every night I put my three-year old to bed in his own bed and every night he gets up, sleepwalks around the room a little, and climbs into my bed. Every night. So the 6 years' penance I already did in Being Kicked By Small Sharp Feet Land apparently wasn't enough. But I'm all for it, especially when they're little, even though I can't say I ever had a decent night's sleep in all those six years.

What about you? Do you take Brad and Angie's lead here or are you a non-co-sleeper?

Attachment Parenting Interview: Oh, the Righteousness

Kelly Mills — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 15:14:00 GMT

I don't believe attachment parenting causes children to become weak, dependent little wussies who have to be held by a parent before they can fall asleep in their dorm bed at college. No, I could care less how long anyone co-sleeps or carries junior around in the sling. But you know what I think is occasionally an unfortunate side effect of attachment parenting?

Self-righteousness.

Not all AP folks are judge-y, and in fact, the ones I know are pretty mellow. And there's Ferberizers and whatever-ers who get righteous too. But when I read the interview with Dave Taylor, author of the Attachment Parenting blog, the very first line was "The core philosophy behind AP is that instead of trying to push your children away and make them independent beings as soon as possible, you hold them and nurture them instead." And this certainly isn't the first time I've heard stuff along those lines from the Sears camp and co.

Annoyed now. Okay, now as a non-APer, I do not recall pushing my child away in order to make her independent ASAP. I do remember moving her out of our bed at six months so that I could get some sleep. Also did it so that she could fall asleep without me so that I could go out sometimes in the evenings. In other words, it was more about my independence than hers.

I think people who are into AP should feel as free as possible to do AP stuff without getting slammed with judgment. And I'd really like it if some of the zealots of the movement could chill out on the crib trauma rhetoric. Because we all gotta do what works best for our families. Now put that in your sling and snuggle it.

More on Co-Sleeping; It's Still Invented by Lucifer

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:01:00 GMT

I love surfing through Babble-pedia and finding great written-by-parents articles on everything from ADHD to banking. (Seriously, check it out.) But the co-sleeping section of the online parenting encyclopedia really struck a nerve.

Co-sleeping is great. No-so controversial anymore. Everyone does it. Yada yada yada. There's a brief mention of how parents might not sleep soundly, but I don't think it goes far enough. So I'm rewriting it.

"Co-sleeping is great for about five minutes or so until your baby starts to kick you in the balls, and then lifts her head high in the air and slams it into your chin -- all night. Co-sleeping should be tried by people who sleep with cups. And not the drinking kind."

But I realize I may be in the minority. How would you write it?

Co-Sleeping Is for Masochists

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:58:00 GMT

My 14-month-old daughter's bedtime routine is a well-oiled machine. She sleeps in her crib all night. And her mother and I enjoy a little alone time to truly bond as a couple and do something we can't do in front of our child: Watch TV for five straight hours. A recent vacation changed all that.

Emmeline refused to sleep in her porta-crib, and because she has developed a singularly charming trait of vomiting whenever she's frightened, she quickly soiled her sheets. So Dana and I brought her into bed with us.

Big mistake.

While Emme immediately fell asleep in our bed -- probably happy to sleep on a mattress not covered in her dinner -- she also immediately took to kicking me in the stomach. A few hours later, her feet magically shifted from my mid-section and turned toward my head, battering my teeth with roundhouses and crane kicks that would make Mr. Miyagi proud.

Around 1 a.m. I turned and saw Dana was still awake.

"I don't think I've slept at all," I whispered.

Dana groaned. "I think she broke my rib."

For months Dana had wanted to slip Emme out of her crib and bring her into bed, but because the kid sleeps so well at home, we were reluctant to try it. Now, after four nights of co-"sleeping," I doubt we ever will again.

We're back home now, and Emme is sleeping bodily fluid-free in her crib while Dana and I are watching "Top Chef" and "Dog the Bounty Hunter."

"You know," Dana said, "We're going to Michigan in a few weeks, and I don't know if I can take another vacation like this one. Should we cancel until she's 10?"

So how do you co-sleepers do it? Do your kids eventually stop kicking you and biting you? (Emme actually sucked on my shoulder blade at one point.) Or do you just learn to cope with that deep, special sleep that comes with a stiff kick to the groin?

5 Ideals of Attachment Parenting Applied to Marriage

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 15:20:00 GMT

Attachment parents (APs), those lovely kind souls mean well. They do. But sometimes following the tenets of perfect childrearing can cause irreparable harm to the marriage upon which the children ultimately depend. Marriages struggle after kids, there's no doubt about it. And I think the higher your childrearing standards are, the more pressure is placed on the marriage after kids.

Here are 5 attachment parenting practices and some suggested applications to marriage or partnerships:

1. Respond with Sensitivity. APs are encouraged to respond to the nonverbal cues of infants and young children and to respond with love and gentleness. In marriage, partners worn out from caring for children often forget to follow the same tenets in caring for the marriage.

2. Nurturing Touch. The concept of loving your child with loving touch is an obviously good parenting practice and can mean hugs, kisses, but also handholding and shoulder rubs. The same approach can strengthen the marriage. Friendly touch (the kind that doesn't ask for anything in return) can build a bridge between even the most harried of harried souls. Hand-holding, kissing, and shoulder rubs can work miracles on a stressed out couple.

3. Nighttime Parenting. While I definitely agree that it is important to be responsible to kids (especially infants) and their needs at night, I also think it's crucial to remember that sleep deprivation can cause illness, such as depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. If you and your spouse never get any sleep, how in the hell can you expect your marriage to flourish?

4. Strive for Balance. Ahhh balance. The catch word and the mythology of it all. I think having children is more about growing accustomed to being unbalanced, than to striving to eat enough carrots and go to yoga. When the parents are in charge, at least the chaos is somewhat ameliorated by some authority. I'm not talking handing out 'whoopins', but surely you've witnessed some of the "discussion" with small children that fail to alter bad behavior? A marriage needs balance, particularly balance between the needs of the children and the needs of adults. While children's needs often come first, Mommy and Daddy need date nights and weekends away to remind themselves why they're doing all of this anyway.

5. Family Bed. In many cases, the family bed causes marriage problems. Once there is more than one kid in the picture, and unless you have a California King, how is one supposed to get rest, or get some? Parents need boudoirs, dammit, or at least an adult space that isn't littered with cheerios and peanut butter smudge and questions about Jesus first thing in the morning. Cuddling time is crucial. But when the kids are old enough to ask why you're "tickling each other" it's time to make other arrangements.

It's OUR Bed, Dammit: Co-Sleeping by Default

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 16:18:00 GMT

When I was a child, we were only allowed to wake the parents in cases of extreme weather, suspected haunting by ghosts, or extreme physical distress. Otherwise, their bedroom was off limits. This rule was instituted following my discovery of the "massager" I'd found in my parent's nightstand. The lock on their door showed up the next day and foiled further attempts to find even greater discoveries.

The Family Bed is as old as oatmeal but has found greater traction among Gen X than the Boomers before them. And it makes me wonder: what the hell are we thinking? I truly understand giving kids comfort and love during the night as well as during the day. And when babies are small and new and hungry, nursing them in bed is convenient and promotes better sleep for mom and baby.

But at what point does it get out of hand?

Alisyn reached her limit when her daughter turned three. The New York Times reports that some parents end up sharing beds with their kids out of desperation and describes a new category of parent with whom I totally sympathize, the "reluctant co-sleeper."

There is apparently now an entire industry devoted to helping families sort through various sleep problems, many of which are outlined in the Times piece. How is it that top attorneys, gallery owners, and CEOs cannot manage the boundaries and structure necessary to get kids back in their own beds?

I think the problem is in the power. Parents who exercise power during the day are most likely so wiped out in the evening or on the weekends that they have insufficient energy to devote to whipping those ankle-biters into shape. And tired parents are understandably more interested in having their kids in bed than in disrupting sleep night after night in order to get the kid back into bed. I could also be that we've become a generation that has completely lost site of the difference between loving our children and LOVING our children. I predict divorce rates will soon be skyrocketing unless we figure out a way to get Billy back into his own goddamn bed!