Strollerderby : cocktail

Hitting The Bottle: The Apple, Sauced

Patti — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:00:00 GMT

Apples have some killer PR, don't they? All they really are is a little fiber bound together with sugar, precious few actual nutrients in there, and yet they have the whole "keep the doctor away" thing sewn up for time and all eternity. The reality of it is, we feed our babies applesauce because it's completely benign and totally unlikely to cause them to break out in hives. Apple brandy, on the other hand, really gets to the heart of what apples are all about: they smell good and they taste good, and that's pretty much the whole story. Next time you're exhausted from spooning applesauce at a recalcitrant seven-month-old, bust out the barware and mix yourself an easy little Apple, Sauced.

The Apple, Sauced

One part Calvados apple brandy

Three parts tonic

Ice

Garnish with a little orange slice for actual doctor-repelling action and enjoy on the veranda (or the fire escape, whatever you got)

Hitting The Bottle: The Hello Kitty Martini

Patti — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 18:56:00 GMT

I have two preschool-aged daughters. My life could not possibly be any cuter. I'm overwhelmed by pink. I spend every morning losing the battle of whether my girls will wear a dress (their position) or jeans (mine) and I spend every evening losing the nightgown-versus-pajamas skirmish. It just isn't a pair of sneakers unless it has glittery laces, it isn't a dinner plate unless it has flowers on it.

Mama can't live on Dirty Princesses alone. Thank goodness for the Hello Kitty Martini. You can tell me domo arigato later.

Hello Kitty Martini

3 oz strawberry vodka
1/2 oz gin
1 1/2 oz peach schnapps

Shake it up and pour into a martini glass, and garnish with a fresh strawberry. Super-kawaii!

Eternal thanks to Hello Kitty Hell, the author of whose life is way rougher than mine.

Studies Make it Official: If You Have A Vagina You Can Be a Female Drunk Driver

Melissa Summers — Mon, 21 May 2007 17:04:00 GMT

Just in case you got the idea that women are adults who can, on occasion have a drink and remain responsible adults like every other adult in a bar enjoying a cocktail with friends. Statistics step in, letting us know women + cars + alcohol = danger.

The study, not of mothers in particular but we all know how irresponsible mothers are as drivers even without alcohol, says young women between the age of 16 and 24 are rapidly catching up to young men as dangerous drunk drivers. The number of fatal accidents involving young women drunk behind the wheel has increased at the same rate as that of young men, so that young women are still involved in 13% fewer fatal drunk driving accidents than men but are increasingly being as stupid about drinking and driving as their male counterparts.

Best part of this article: the comments which blame cell phones and feminism for this "disturbing" trend. I'd like to suggest a new study titled: "Surprise! Alcohol and poor judgment go together if you have a penis or a vagina!"

Mother's Day: Breakfast in Bed with a "Momosa"

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 12 May 2007 23:01:00 GMT

Mother's Day wouldn't be Mother's Day without some sort of fabulous breakfast in bed. But when the kids are small (babies, even) and at best all they can muster is smeary pancakes with peanut butter and jelly, what's a thoughtful partner to do? First things first, friend. Your darling girl needs a "Momosa," a classy relax-me-down drink she can enjoy before Noon! In bed!

Any good Momosa starts with excellent champagne. Assuming you don't want to spring for Dom or Cristal, there are some fabulous alternatives that won't require a 2nd mortgage, including Moet and Chandon, Tattinger (who can resist that label?), or Veuve Clicquot.

Next, get some fresh squeezed orange juice. You can't go wrong with Odwalla, but juice you squeezed yourself will grant pennies (dimes even) in mama's heaven.

Pour 2 parts juice into a champagne flute or wine glass, and follow with one part champagne. Stir.

Presentation is crucial. Skewer a cherry (it's sexy and colorful) with a pretty swizzle stick, pour the final mixture into a chilled champagne flute or wine glass, and put a rose in a vase. At this juncture, no matter what else you put onto her tray, she'll be delighted.

Hitting the Bottle: The Bed Wetter

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 04 May 2007 19:09:00 GMT

It's five o'clock somewhere friends, and there's nothing like a little Summer hopeful pick-me-up to kick off a happy weekend for Mommy and Daddy.

The Bed Wetter

A variation on the good old screwdriver. The only things required are junior's juice, some mint, and the vodka that is gathering dust on the shelf above your refrigerator. In a high ball glass pour the following over ice:

1 ounce Vodka (Grey Goose is extra special, but any will suffice)
1 Tablespoon Lemon juice
1 Tablespoon Lime juice
Fill up the glass with Orange Juice

Pour all ingredients over ice. Stir. Garnish with sprig of mint and serve.

Enjoy!