Strollerderby : commercials

I Like Square Butts

SunnyChanel — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:33:00 GMT

I enjoy a rendition of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back as much as the next gal. But when pairing this ode to the gluteus maximus with a kid’s meal and a popular cartoon character my PC meter flies into the red.

Fast food behemoth Burger King debuted a new TV ad this week that pairs Spongebob Square Pants with Sir Mix-A-Lot in a version of Baby Got Back that declares “I like square butts.” The ad takes a song that is intrinsically sexual and markets it to children. The King, of burgers that is, sings about his love of square butts and how he wants to “get with” Spongebob. The once round female behinds have been enhanced with phone books stuffed into spandex outfits to give a more Spongebob Square pants allure, but as Sir Mix-A-Lot says at the end of the ad “Booty is booty.”

I am not alone in questioning the taste level of marketing square booties to the kids. The Campaign for Commercial Free Childhood has taken offense to the commercial as well. The CCFC director, Susan Linn, stated: "It's bad enough when companies use a beloved media character like SpongeBob to promote junk food to children, but it's utterly reprehensible when that character simultaneously promotes objectified, sexualized images of women."

The ad does totally bring the crazy. And yes, it’s amusing in it’s wild nature. Fortunately the long version of the ad is not the one being played on kid’s channels. The full length version aired during the NCAA men's basketball championship. But still using a song based on a sexual predilection and Spongebob does really begs the question ‘what were they thinking’.

Are you offended or amused by the ad?

Source

Playdate: How to Exploit Your Own Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:25:00 GMT

OK, we're not actually suggesting you exploit your kids. But this guy is!

Meet Mel Kane and his bad eighties era how-to on getting your kids into commercials. Fat kids (yes, he really said that), thin kids, short kids, tall kids! He sounds like a bad Dr. Seuss impression, only he's dead serious.

And what fun it is! He picks apart a kid who looks like she's acting ultra hard to be not interested in what's going on (and probably getting paid very well), and lets you parents of twins out there know you've got a hot commodity or two on your hands.

AdFreak dug this one up, and it's worth taking a look for the laugh at the giant glasses and poufy hair alone. And, you know, if you want to make money off your fat kid.

Have fun in Hollywood.

Also on Babble:

Bad Parent: Stage Mother

Silent Fright: 9 Creepy and Unsettling Christmas Commercials

Cole Gamble — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

#1 Ronald McDonald Plays with Children

If you wern't afraid of clowns before, now's the time to start.

#2 Vern Fonk Insurance Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas, from Satan

#3 Go Jesus

I don't know. I kind of like Bust a Move Jesus. You think our Lord and Savior can't shake his ass? Sinner!

#4 Mom is Santa

When you discover mom is a dominatrix, you've actually discovered two things. Dad's the gimp.

#5 A Very Scary Christmas

Do you think Freddy and Jason get into a fight over who gets to carve the ham?

#6 Santa Takes a Dump

Can Santa sue for defamation of character?

#7 Christmas Morning Meltdown

To be fair, that's how I reacted last Christmas when I got the diamond-studded Hummer 2 instead of the diamond-studdied Hummer 3 I asked for.

#8 Mistletoe Surprise

Thanks, Canadian company I can't remember. You runied Christmas with dog's nards. Congrats!

#9 The Dancing, Stripping Christmas Present

This guy wants to show us his package. Badly.

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Skinny Jeans for Little Boys?

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

Maybe The 80s Are Retro

Brett Singer — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:30:00 GMT

When I first started to notice that television producers and marketing executive was using the 80's to induce nostalgia and/or referring to it as retro, I was annoyed. Eventually I got used to it, but still found it troubling. Come on, I said. It wasn't THAT long ago. Sure, lots of things have changed. But 1988 was only 20 years ago. That's not retro, is it? Translation: I'm not THAT old, am I?

Take a look at these TV commercials from 1988.

That hair. Joe Isuzu. Geraldo Rivera braying that our children may become victims of a Satanic cult.

Ouch. I guess I am that old.

Barack Obama Asked If Bill Clinton Was The First Black President

The Candy That Time Forgot

Guy Changes Name to Captain Fantastic

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Japanese Spiderman Video

Is The Incredible Flying Baby Video Real?

Should DirecTV Go Around Reincarnating Dead Child Stars?

Jen Chaney — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:26:00 GMT

We're all familiar with those clever movie-related commercials DirecTV runs on television, the ones that take a famous scene from a film like "Aliens" or "Back to the Future" and turn the characters into shills for satellite television. (Okay, they sound less clever when I describe them that way.)

A few weeks ago, DirecTV started airing a new commercial, one that riffs on the 1982 horror classic "Poltergeist." But here's the part that's really creepy: Heather O'Rourke -- the girl who played Carol Anne in the movie and, sadly, died at the age of 12 due to a heart attack brought on by septic shock -- appears in the ad. Watch below and you'll see what I mean.

Even though it's supposed to look like a scene from the 26-year-old movie, the spot subtly implies that O'Rourke is still with us. Which is a long way of saying: This commercial gives me a case of the heebie jeebs. And I'm not the only one. Bloggers and others have been whipping up a frothy brew of Internet outrage over this clip during the past few weeks.

"I think it’s in poor taste," writes this blogger at San Diego City Beat.

"Truly declasse," says slashfilm.

"I just think a dead child should be off limits," adds a commenter at Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch blog.

Reportedly, O'Rourke's mother, Kathleen, approved the ad. So one could argue that if it's fine with the O'Rourke family, it should be fine with us. And it's a valid point that this is footage from a movie in which O'Rourke played a character, so it lives on in a different realm -- so to speak -- than the actual Heather O'Rourke.

I hear all that. Yet I still can't shake the fact that there is something spooky and altogether ooky about this. Maybe I'm just freaked because "Poltergeist" scared the bodily juices out of me when I was a kid. But the bottom line is that I don't think a deceased star, especially one who died so young, should be resuscitated solely to sell premium and HD channels to the masses.

The 6 Creepiest Marketing Campaigns Aimed at Children

Cole Gamble — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Our friends at Cracked have done it again, revealing the dark forces at work against our children. Among the evils preying upon our kids? Lucky Charms, Abercrombie and Fitch, Santa Claus and Rachel Leigh Cook.

So what terrible things are they telling our children?

Here are some highlights from the Cracked piece:

1 900 Santa Scam

This 900 number commercial asked kids to hold the phone up to the TV while the TV played touch tones that actually made the phone dial the number and let the phone bill crank into high gear.

Back to School Sleeping Pills

Rozerem, the sleep medication with Abraham Lincoln and a beaver in its ads, starting targeting its drug to kids. Or at least that’s the way it seemed. In 2006 they aired a commercial that stated, "Rozerem would like to remind you that it's back to school season" over images of school kids and classrooms and buses. No thanks, I’ll keep my kids off the drugs and stick to my tried and true method of getting them to sleep: booze. Always works for me.

Check out the whole article Here.

More by this author:

They Like Big Butts, and They Can Not Lie: Survey Finds Men Prefer Bigger Body Sizes

Baby Cages: The 5 Baby Products that Should be Illegal

The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters

The 6 Creepiest Marketing Campaigns Aimed at Children

The Sh*t List: 10 Bizarre (or Terrific?) Potty Gadgets

Satan and 9 other bad (but real) baby names

Nipple Jewelry: 5 Products Moms DON’T Need

10 Naughty Things We Do to Our Kids (but keep doing anyway)

18 Kids From One Vagina: Woman Births 18th Child

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

5 Ways to Keep the Kids from Growing Fat this Summer

5 Ways to Not Go Broke (with Kids)

What's Next, Shock Collars For Your Kids?!

7 Ways to Make Your Baby to Sleep Tonight

It all started when Mary needed a laxative

Brett Singer — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Old advertisements are the gift that keeps on giving.

Take this gem, posted on BoingBoing, found originally at the Learning 2 Share blog. A few favorite lines:

"It all started when Mary needed a laxative."
"I'd seen those laxative tantrums before."
"I asked [the school nurse] for advice. She knows so much more about children."
"All mothers should think more about the laxative they give their children…Forcing a child to take a bad-tasting laxative can shock her delicate nervous system."
And, once mom tries the product, Fletcher's Castoria:
"[Mary] hugged me and said I was the best mommy in the world!"

And of course, "it all started when Mary needed a laxative."

Because, you see, if you don't give your child a good tasting laxative, you are a crappy parent. No pun intended.

source: boingboing, via learning2share

5 ways to get revenge on your kids

5 things that would make parents' lives easier

Son stabs father over haircut

Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Baby Penis Album only five bucks

Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

Man locks daughters in cage while he works

Pregcellent: Get Some Use Out Of That Birth Footage

Kelly Mills — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:31:00 GMT

I always thought of videotaping your birth experience the same way I think about filming yourself doing the nasty with your partner: While it sounds like a good idea at the time, the truth is nobody else wants to see that, and it's unlikely you're gonna wanna watch it once the event is over. Unless you are a celebrity, in which case people will only want to see the screwing movie, not the one where the baby comes out. But apparently I am wrong on this (and so many other things) because now Introfree.com not only wants to watch you push your little bundle of joy out of your hoo hoo, they'll even pay you money for it. A cool $1,000 will go to one "lucky" person who submits the best birthin' video. I would so hate to be on the judging panel for that contest.

But it won't just be a few birth conoisseurs viewing your contractions: The company wants to use the video in an ad that will air on Super Bowl Sunday announcing the launch of the company. In other words, your the miracle of your birth will be wedged in between spots of bikini-clad girls selling beer and commercials featuring D-list celebs and fart jokes. Cool! But before you dust off that footage, there's some important caveats. The film must show "clear baby emergence plus footage of umbilical cord." Though I would advise cutting the part where you poo on the delivery table or the moment when you yell all that profanity at your partner.

Isn't it nice to think that amazing moment in your life could have commercial use? Personally, I think I'd rather they aired my sex video.

And Now for a Commercial Break: All You Need Is Poop

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:06:00 GMT

And so it goes: Another rock classic has become another irritating commercial jingle sure to be stuck in your head for days. You'll find yourself in Target or buying diapers singing the wrong words to the co-opted song while John Lennon gets a twitch underground (or on Yoko's mantle or wherever he rests, God bless his songwriting soul).

The twitchiness is with reason. Luvs, the maker of craptastic (and I mean that oh-so literally) disposable diapers, has glommed on to the 60s peace tune "All You Need Is Love" (only their version goes "All you need is Luvs"...heh, heh...clever, right?) to sell their waste wears. And the result? Fans, outraged. Focus groups, nodding and smiling, nodding and smiling, "Oh hell yes, I would buy those for sure! The song's so darn adorable, you'd have to buy that brand!"

While I don't love this whole song kidnapping thing (has anyone told Barry Manilow about all this?), I did hear a compelling interview with John Cougar Mellencamp who defended selling his own "This Is Our Country" song to the Chevy folks. He said that selling the song broadens his fan-base in a rapidly changing market and if it is good enough for Dylan, he can withstand the criticism from music fans. I actually cheered for old JC for that, and yet, I have a hard time believing the Beatles need to boost their fan base. This is just another reason to ignore lazy Luvs in the old nappy aisle and to pray that the jingle writers of America will get more work soon.

Food Commercials are Making Kids Fat

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Oh, so now it is the commercials that are to blame for children being overweight.

A new study shows that kids who watched commercials for food before a cartoon and then were fed afterwards ate more than the children that didn't see the ads. In fact Dr. Jason Halford said that: "Our research confirms food TV advertising has a profound effect on all children's eating habits -- doubling their consumption rate."

Damn.

I have decided to blame Taco Bell commercials for my fat ass. I have also decided to start TiVoing (it is a word for me) ads for vegetables to see if it influences my daughter. I'm not going to hold my breath or anything, but I am desperate.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and say that the results of this study aren't true, but I will sit here and say that television is a wonderful scapegoat. While watching commercials for food absolutely makes me want to eat more, I have the power to control my own caloric intake. I can also control (sort of) what my children eat. Come on parents. Let's own up to some of this responsibility.

I Enjoy Peeing on Things

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 19:32:00 GMT

Kim over at Embracing Mommies posted what immediately became my favorite commerical.

Check it out:

Now, I don't think I could possibly be pregnant. My husband and I have made surgically sure that we will stop at two children. We decided that if we ever feel the need to have a third we will adopt a child that needs a good home. Hopefully one that is already potty trained.

But this commercial... it makes me want to run out and pee on something high tech. Yeah, maybe that is messed up, but tell me it doesn't have the same effect on you. So unless you are one of those guys that got drunk in college and pissed all over your tv, (It is not that uncommon. I know several people who have done this.) this really could be the most technologically advanced thing you ever urinate on.