Strollerderby : congress

Morning News - GOP Calls Sotomayor Racist

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:00:00 GMT

The Republican/Conservative Hive Mind Coalition has decided how to attack Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor. What is it? Drum roll, please... She's a racist! This comment from Rush Limbaugh is... well, you decide: "Limbaugh called the president 'the greatest living example of a reverse racist,' and said that he has picked another for the Supreme Court vacancy of retiring Justice David Souter. Limbaugh later equated Sotomayor to former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke." David Duke? Huh? The comment Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich and Hive Mind members are clinging to is one that Sotomayor made at a Duke Law School symposium in 2001: "a wise Latina woman would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

I haven't read much about Judge Sotomayor, but I think the GOP Hive Mind is grasping at straws by clinging to one quote that she made. How difficult would it be to review cases that were before her while she served as a judge, and to talk about those? I've said plenty of things that I wouldn't want thrown back at me if I were up for an important post. (Supreme Court seems unlikely since I don't have a law degree, but maybe I could be the head of the Department of Video Games and Comic Books.) Also, as a white man who grew up in the Bronx and worked for two years at a job where there were many Latina women, I can honestly say that a great many of them reached better conclusions than I did. So there.

Speaking of the GOP, Mitt Romney seems to think he's still running for President. He's mad at President Obama for the way he's handling our foreign policy. (Grrr... Mitt is angry... Grrrr...) I love how it's OK for people to criticize the President when said President is a Democrat. Remember how we were all supposed to support President Bush because we were a nation at war? That attacking the Commander-in-Chief of the United States could be damaging to troop morale, and make us look bad in the eyes of foreign leaders? I guess that doesn't matter anymore.

One more political item -- Dick Cheney (aside: if my name were "Richard" I wouldn't use "Dick" as my nickname) admitted that there was "no link" between Saddam Hussein and the September 11th attacks. But he still thinks we did the right thing by marching into Iraq. He, too, took issue with President Obama's policies. I'm not 100% positive about this, but didn't various Bush administration officials and the Republican/Conservative Hive Mind spend a lot of time and energy telling the public that Saddam Hussein was, in fact, involved in the September 11th attacks? If so, what is Cheney saying now -- sorry, my bad?

On to less important matters. Susan Boyle checked into the hospital after losing "Britain's Got Talent." She is said to be "suffering from exhaustion," which I think officially makes her a real celebrity, since I have never heard of anyone other than a celebrity checking into a hospital because they were tired. (I know, that's reductionist, and an over-simplification, and probably other words that basically mean the same thing as those two. Bear with me, I'm exhausted.) The funny thing about Susan Boyle? She didn't "lose." She came in second. She was a complete unknown and now she's famous enough to check into a hospital for exhaustion without being laughed at. She will certainly have some sort of career in the entertainment business if she wants to. How is that "losing"? A year from now, let's see who has had a better career -- Susan Boyle or the dance troupe Diversity. My money's on Boyle.

OK, one more serious thing: a federal judge has ruled that "Guantanamo evidence must be made public." This is "the unclassified evidence that it says justifies the continued imprisonment of more than 100 Guantanamo Bay prisoners." So, you know. So there.

Here's a headline you don't like to see: "Federal Reserve puzzled by yield curve steepening." It's one thing if I'm puzzled by financial matters facing our nation. But the Federal Reserve? They shouldn't be puzzled. They should know stuff. Lots of stuff.

Finally, something silly and utterly unimportant. Kathy Griffin says that Eminem walking out of the MTV Movie Awards was "a stunt." What happened? Sasha Baron Cohen, aka Bruno, stuck his heinie in the rapper's face.

Here's what happened:

And here's what Kathy Griffin thinks of it:

See? Now you know everything you need to know to start your day. Enjoy!

Image: Latina.com

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

They Say: Having a Daughter Makes You a Liberal

JeanneSager — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:02:00 GMT

So blue might be the color most associated with boys. Turns out the blue states can thank their azure hues to the parents of little girls.

A conglomeration of studies about to be printed in a social science journal posit that parents' political leanings can be tied to the gender of their children. Notably, they say fathers of girls are more liberal.

Is that the same as saying they're more feminist?

Among the data social scientists looked at was the voting records of U.S. Congressmen. The first study (published in 2004) determined Congressman with daughters were more likely to vote liberally on reproductive rights issues. Four years later, the same researcher concluded the Congressmen with female offspring were voting liberally on a host of issues, including tax-free education and working families flexibility.

Integrating studies from Great Britain, the scientists have concluded parents with girls are more likely to sympathize with left wing ideals, while studies indicate that having a male child will lead to more right wing politics.

Interesting, because if you listened tp appeals to George W. Bush on particularly feminist issues, you'd often hear references to his daughters. As in "What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?" And I don't remember him coming out as a champion of Roe v. Wade, do you?

I'll allow that parents are more likely to weigh issues they wouldn't have otherwise focused on when faced with parenting a child of the opposite sex. A father with a daughter is more likely to have his daughter in mind when debating the rights of a woman over the rights of a fetus (although I'd wager there are a fair amount of dads who would still come down on the side of the fetus because they now equate their child with that fetus).

Even more interesting, the study suggests parents who lean to the left are more likely to stop having kids after the birth of a son - pointing to an added valuation of boys in the liberal community. Right wingers, they say, are more likely to stop making babies after a girl is born. Maybe it's all those liberal awakenings scaring them out of the bedroom?

Image: Flatrock

Via fivethirtyeight

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Pick a Sex, Any Sex

Congress: End Amber Alerts by 2010, MicroChip Newborns

JeanneSager — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:26:00 GMT

After news that an Amber Alert was cancelled last week when a missing child miraculously walked in her front door, is it any surprise that Congress is taking seriously the toll that helicopter parents are putting on law enforcement with their overreactions?

Congress has put out the call for all newborns born in American hospitals to be microchipped, beginning July 1, 2010. The simple process can be done in the hospital nursery by pediatricians, who will then log the newborn's vital statistics into a national database linked to the FBI for all law enforcement to access. When an officer encounters a child, he will be able to use a scanner to immediately determine if this is the missing child in question.

Funds to outfit the hospitals with the proper equipment, similar to those used in most veterinary offices, and to provide police with scanners will come from President Obama's latest stimulus bill.

Children born before that date are grandfathered - so to speak - but parents will have the option of taking their children to their local hospitals to have the chips implanted just under the skin in a quick outpatient procedure. The chips will be placed near the shoulder for easy access by the scanners, but because of their very small size, there should be no lasting scars on a child's skin.

Will you be taking Junior in?

Image: Zazzle

Why Can't Johnny Read? Because Someone Thinks His Books Contain Lead

Jen Chaney — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:58:00 GMT

When it comes to lead poisoning, most parents probably prefer to be safe vs. sorry. But even the most cautious among us may think that keeping some children's books from our kids is taking things a little too far.

In the wake of that recent federal law that bans any children's product containing trace elements of lead, a couple of libraries freaked out earlier this month and restricted access to children's books published prior to 1986. Why? Because before regulations began to take effect that year, small amounts of lead still could be found in printing ink. Emily Sheketoff, executive director of the American Library Association, told the Associated Press that one library roped off its children's section and another -- no joke -- covered some of its kids' books with a tarp. After the ALA contacted the libraries, which Sheketoff did not identify, they took their respective rope and tarp down. After all, reading is fundamental, even if it is deadly.

In all seriousness, there is no solid proof that books published prior to 1986 are in fact harmful to children. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has said its staff is "investigating" to make sure the ink does not pose any risk. But a specialist also said in the same AP story that it's unlikely all those old picture books and young adult novels are truly dangerous.

In an op-ed piece, the Wall Street Journal placed the blame for all this confusion on Congress and, more specifically, Nancy Pelosi. From my perspective, it seems like this issue could have been resolved a long time ago. Like, say, in 1987. Once we realized there was some lead in that ink, why didn't the CPSC or some other organization investigate and make absolutely sure our children could read those books in good health? We've only known about this for two-plus decades, right?

From my perspective, that's why legislation like the ban just passed by Congress is so necessary. Until a stringent law is put in place, all of us get too complacent about these things. We throw a tarp over the problem, so to speak, and just pray it will go away.

That said, I suspect and hope that this really is a non-issue. Because even if the libraries toss every book published before U2 released "The Joshua Tree," plenty of Americans own copies of these older books. And I'd hate to think that those cherished versions of "Corduroy" and "Good Night, Moon" that we read to our kids every night are actually causing them harm.

Image: Waaytv.com

Morning News - The Obama Bracket

Brett Singer — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Monday Monday… Can't trust that day…

Actually, you kind of can trust Monday. It's fairly reliable in that it always comes after Sunday. I don't think that's what Mama Cass and Co. were talking about, but then again, it was the 60's, so who knows?

Anyone make an NCAA bracket? I did. I know nothing about college basketball, and my picks are proving it, especially in the Midwest Conference. At least there's no money at stake for me. President Obama made one, which is being resoundingly mocked by many. Some were upset that he even took the time to make his picks, which is hilarious if you consider the amount of vacation time that former President Bush took while in office. (I know, it's a cliché, but it happens to be true.) Taking a few minutes to fill out a bracket is a pleasant distraction from the day's events for everyone, Leaders of the Free World included. If people want to complain about Obama's policies, fine, but his bracket? Let it go.

Damn those blasphemy laws -- a Pennsylvania man tried to register a limited liability company called I Choose Hell Productions, LLC but was told he had to pick another name because PA has an anti-blasphemy law on the books preventing such things. The laws were common the 19th century, but this one was enacted in 1977 when someone tried to register God Damn Gun Shop. The ACLU is suing the state. Heh heh. God Damn Gun Shop... (NYT)

A revival of "West Side Story" opened on Broadway with some of the songs translated into Spanish. Interesting idea but I can't imagine that makes the songs better. Frank Scheck of the Hollywood Reporter saw the show and agrees, as did many other critics. (Note: I haven't seen this production. I'll probably stick with the movie.)

The post office is in trouble. They lost almost 400 million dollars last quarter and are offering early retirement to 150,000 employees, in addition to staff cutbacks and location closures. Not enough people mailing letters I guess.

Susan MacDougal (remember her?) can't have the transcript of her own testimony in the Whitewater trial. She was hoping to use it for a novel or screenplay. Whitewater looks pretty damn tame compared to all the nonsense going on these days.

Some governors, including Nevada's Jim Gibbons, are turning down federal money to beef up their unemployment funds because they don't like the 'strings' that are attached. The thing is, those strings disappear when the federal cash runs out. (This according to a New York Times editorial.) Nevada will run out of unemployment money by the end of the year if they don't take the government cheese. (Nose, you don't mind if I cut you off to spite my face, do you? Cool, thanks.) You can't play games like this when people are out of work. And unemployment money gets taken out of your check every week for a reason. You get it back if you're unemployed. Hence the name. So it's not unreasonable for people to expect to receive that money if they lose their jobs. In other Republican Governor news, Alaska's Sarah Palin (perhaps you've heard of her?) is only accepting Federal money for projects that are truly "shovel ready." Alaska Democrats are not happy, saying that she is playing politics with state residents. There's definitely a shovel needed for what's coming out of the mouths of both Republicans and Democrats these days, but it's not the kind you use to fix roads.

Eliot Spitzer is talking smack about Andrew Cuomo. Hey! Here's an idea, Spitzy. Shut up. You have no credibility anymore. Sorry. You screwed up. Apologize and go away. Although maybe you can blog for Huffington Post like Gary "Monkey Business" Hart. ("G'head! Follow me! You won't find anything! Wait, you thought I meant that? I was only kidding! Aw, crap…")

Responding to Sheri's comment: I hadn't heard about what the President said on TV, so I looked it up. Seems that while being interviewed by Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, President Obama said of his bowling skills, "It's like the Special Olympics or something." He apologized to the President of the Special Olympics before the show aired. Comments at ABC News' web site range from "who cares?" to "see? I told you he was an idiot." (I'm paraphrasing.) I can't say I agree with those who say that this is somehow on the same scale as other "gaffes" spoken by Republican politicians, or even "gaffes" from Democrats. Personally, I think the President is a little bit too much of a regular guy, at least in the way that he sometimes speaks in public. It was a dumb joke but hardly the worst thing ever. He also invited Special Olympians to the White House to do some bowling. There's one Special Olympic bowler who has three perfect games to his credit, so maybe he can give the Prez some pointers. By the way, Sarah Palin weighed in on the President's comments, because she's not all about politics like some politicians. This issue really effects Alaska, hence her very public reaction. Also: the President of the Special Olympics is Tim Shriver, Maria's brother, and therefore Ah-nuld's brother-in-law. That has nothing to do with anything except that I think it would be fun to have Arnold Schwarzenegger as your brother-in-law. The Governator, by the way, supports Obama's stimulus plan.

Tuesday, Tuesday… I trust that day… Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it. I guess John Phillips knew what he was talking about. See you tomorrow.

Image: WhiteHouse.gov via Washington Post

Morning News - Natasha Richardson Dies (UPDATE - Autopsy Information)

Morning News - March Madness or March Sadness?

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

Back to the Third Grade for This 71-Year-Old

They Say: Old School Lice Checks Are All Wrong

UPDATE: Did M.I.A Really Name Her Baby Ickitt?

Why Teens Are Quick to Blame Rihanna

Keep This Kid Away From The Dog

Congress Looks at Postpartum Depression Support

JeanneSager — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:37:00 GMT

Unless you're Tom Cruise, you probably have some sense that postpartum depression is very real and moms could use a heck of a lot more support.

A bill winding its way through both houses of Congress could finally make postpartum depression awareness a priority in the country, along with making it easier for mothers to apply for and access treatment.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes Act, named for a new mother who took her life eight years ago, was introduced in the House of Representatives last year but floundered. Now it's back, with bills reintroduced in the House AND the Senate in 2009. According to a group stumping for supporters who will write to their Congressman begging for passage, the act "would mandate research on the benefits of screening for PPD, and it would also create programs to deliver outpatient, inpatient and home-based health and support services, including services that would promote earlier diagnosis and treatment."

Estimates put the numbers of women who suffer from postpartum depression at one in ten, but as this post from the Perinatal Pro blog correctly points out, women are often hesitant to ask for help - as much because they don't understand the true symptoms as because of a fear of looking like a bad mother. Less than two tenths of a percent of women suffer from a postpartum psychosis (think Susan Smith or Andrea Yates), but because of the intense media attention, many women think their symptoms have to be that extreme to be diagnosed with PPD.

In reality, the symptoms can be as simple as an inability to sleep even when the baby is sleeping, uncontrollable crying, massive changes in appetite or feelings of guilt. They sound like the symptoms of a lot of new moms - the issue is the degree to which they appear. Women need to know there's a way out - and getting proper treatment and support services is a big part of that. Take it from a mom who knows.

Want to help get it passed? All it takes is your name, address and zip code, and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance will send an e-mail directly to your Congressman asking him or her to vote yes on this bill.

Image: National Institutes of Health (for more information on PPD)

The New State of Children's Health Care

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:30:00 GMT

Soon after President Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act into law, the newly empowered Democratic Congress has once again signaled their commitment to what they’re calling “women and children first.” The Senate voted 66-to-32 to expand the State Children's Health Insurance Program to cover four million currently uninsured children by 2013. A tobacco tax will be used to pay for the increase in the federal program.

This legislation, which former President Bush vetoed twice, couldn’t come at a more important time, as job losses mean that tens of thousands of children are losing their health insurance.

One of the most controversial aspects of the bill is that it allows states to decided whether or not recent legal immigrants can benefit from federal programs like Medicaid and the State Children’s Health Insurance Program. Currently, federal law bars legal immigrants from participating in these programs for five years after they move to the U.S.

According to The Times, “Many Republicans, including Senator John McCain of Arizona, said they worried that it was part of a long-term effort to replace private health insurance with government programs.” Since it's clear from President Obama's health care proposals that no one will be taking away McCain’s (or any rich, powerful man’s) private insurance, I think that the real concern is the possibility of having to pay an eensy bit more in taxes in order to help impoverished children and families get covered.

Some critics of the bill are also up in arms because the expanded program would offer federal assistance to families that do not qualify for Medicaid, but who can't afford private insurance--such as a family of four, living in New York, with a combined income of approximately $66,000. Although this is technically three times above the poverty level, it's easy to see how many families in this income range would find it impossible to spend upwards of $12,000 a year on health care.

Hmmm, let's see--would we rather help smokers keep their tobacco costs down or give four million children health insurance?

Photo: faithfulamerica.org

U.S. Birth Centers in Danger of Closing

Miriam Axel-Lute — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Everyone likes a best of both worlds solution, right? For many pregnant women, birth centers provide just that. For low-risk pregnancies, they are a comfortable, calm, non-hospital atmosphere in which to give birth. They often have pools, and kitchens for family members to cook in. They don't separate mother and baby after birth, but check vitals right there. And yet, for those uncomfortable with birthing at home, there are also a staffed and equipped medical facility, usually quite near a hospital and with established transfer protocols in place. They are often crucial in rural areas where hospitals are few and far between.

And yet, after 20 years, the federal Medicaid agency has all of a sudden begun to refuse to pay for them. (Why? Do they prefer to pay tons more for a hospital birth?) The agency claims there is nothing specifically in any legislation saying that it's a covered cost. (Ah, I see. Bureaucracy strikes again.)

This is not merely a case of the poor getting screwed either notes the American Association of Birth Centers. Other payers follow Medicaid's example, they say. Basically, if the law isn't changed, pronto, freestanding birth centers will be fighting for their financial lives. Many are already suffering from refused payments.

There is a chance to clarify the law when the SCHIP bill passes, but it has to be done before the Christmass recess, so AABC is asking everyone to call their congresspeople and let them know that this is in fact important—a no-brainer even (but perhaps you oughtn't to use that phrase).

Photo from Alma Midwifery.

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Juno Goes to Washington? Congress' First Unwed Mom

JeanneSager — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:33:00 GMT

She'll be the eighth woman serving in Congress to give birth while in office, but Rep. Linda Sanchez is the first-ever "unwed mom" to serve her country. But the representative who's already made history books as part of the House's first sister act (serving alongside sister Loretta) isn't doing the walk of shame. The California Democrat told the Los Angeles Times this pregnancy was not only welcomed but planned.

Sanchez and boyfriend Jim Sullivan, a government affairs consultant are "unofficially engaged," and buying a house together. But she's made it clear there won't be any shotgun wedding just to please the populace. Both are from big families, and they'd like to have a grand affair with everyone involved. That, Sanchez said, will take significant planning for which she just doesn't have time. We'd imagine she's a little busy right now; perhaps with Congress getting ready to work with a new president and navigate an economic catastrophe?

Add a pregnancy to the mix, and her body will be working overtime from here on out. The divorced mom-to-be contemplated getting pregnant on her own last year, before she started dating "Sully." When she went for a recent OB/GYN exam, the doctors told the thirty-nine year old it was now or never. So she and Sullivan (a divorced father of three) started trying the old-fashioned way. She pulled out the basal thermometer, started keeping track of temperatures and times of the month and made sure the long-distance relationship - she's in Washington, after all, while Sullivan's from Connecticut - didn't control conception. She's due May 21.

So what does this mean for America? Are we looking at Juno storming Capitol Hill? Sanchez says she's prepared for what may come. "I'm not a high school kid, it wasn't an accident, I'm financially stable, in a committed relationship," she told the Washington Post. "All the reasons for worrying about bringing a child into the world don't exist here."

In other words, she's not Juno MacGuff, and she never will be. She's a career woman with a good head on her shoulders, a partner to help her every step of the way and an overwhelming desire to be a mom. She's got the same chance to being a good parent as most of us. Does it really matter what her job is?

Image: Washington Post

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Republican Candidate Uses Porn-esque Robocall

Brett Singer — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:00:00 GMT

I don't let my kids answer the phone, but a lot of people do. Now imagine if they picked it up and heard this:

"Mike Thompson's been a baaad boy ... we all said no to the bailout, but Thompson backed Bush, just like he did for the Patriot Act. Vote Yes for Zane."

Here is a link to the audio (wav file). You really have to hear it. Basically, it sounds like a low-rent phone sex operator. (Not that I know what a high-rent phone sex operator sounds like. Or any phone sex operator. I don't. Hey! Off-topic!)

The robocall ad was produced by the Zane Starkewolf campaign. Zane is a "self-described Green Republican" candidate for Congress in California and also a Chemistry graduate student. His explanation for the call is utterly bizarre:

I acknowledge that the idea behind the ad, and indeed the execution of the call, was not the safe route to take. And if my run for office was simply for personal gain, I would not have taken a risk.

What? A robocall political ad produced in the style of phone sex somehow shows that you are not running "for personal gain"? Is that because you know it won't work?

But the content and the facts within the message were there and need to be discussed. Hopefully this call opens up the forum for discussion on the issues and on the representation which is so essential to our system.

Meaning… what? That by putting on a pseudo-sexy voice we'll all get turned on to politics? Bad fake porn as a gateway drug to insightful political discourse?

This is the closest thing to an apology in his statement:

The unpaid staffer who recorded and submitted the message may have been a little overly enthusiastic in the delivery, but I believe it is good to get enthusiasm back into politics.

First of all, the woman who recorded the call sounds like she might be on drugs or mentally ill. At the very least, she's meshugeh ahf toit (click here for a translation, or go ask Madonna, she knows what it means). So "enthusiasm" isn't the word I would use. Second, "back into politics"? With weird robotic phone-sex calls? Yes, I remember when Truman did that back in 1948.

He then uses the phrase that is the number one justification for dummies who think they're smart – "Let’s think outside the box." Well, I guess you've done that. Maybe this idea should have stayed IN the box. A locked box. With no key.

I can't stand these robocalls and I think they should be outlawed. Not just the really wacko ones like this, but all of them. We used to belong to a temple that used them to notify people of events. They're irritating and pointless. It's as if someone said, "How can we make telemarketing even MORE annoying?"

One more thing. Not to be an old fart before my time (when is that time, anyway?) but remember the phrase from the 60's about not trusting anyone over 30? When it comes to government, how about we don't trust anyone UNDER 30? Zane is 27. This is definitely an idea that only a tremendously immature dope could come up with.

Source: Wired

N-Word Flies at Palin Rally

Babble Podcast for October 27th, 2008

Parents Upset About McCain's Robocalls

Babble Talk: The Candidates Health Plans

Which Candidate Has The Best Name?

They say: no one with a uterus should vote for McCain

They say: McCain not thrilled with Palin and she wants to run in 2012

Best political shirt ever - Everyone Poops

Bailout bill defeated because it sucks

Brett Singer — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:25:00 GMT

That's what the Rep. Paul Ryan, the ranking Republican on the House Budget Committee said about the bailout bill, according to ABC News. "It sucks."

Yes, it's government by 10 year olds.

They went on to report that Ryan thinks the bill "has to pass to preserve the free market system and stave off a financial collapse." Even though, you know, it sucks.

I guess we should get ready for the collapse, because the bill didn't pass. Interestingly, the bill failed largely because of Republican opposition, not Democratic, despite what right-wing rags like the New York Post have been trying to tell people. (I don't have a link but they had a political cartoon, and editorials, that tried to paint Dems as the party that blocked the bill.) I'm curious how Fox News, et al, are going to spin this one.

On another note, doesn't this mean everything is going to fall apart now? (Money under the mattress time!) Or not? I admit to feeling very dumb when it comes to matters of economics, especially this one.

Source: ABC News

Image: Wikipedia (interestingly, Ryan's official house.gov web site is not responding.)

Breaking News -- House Rejects Bailout; Stocks Plunge!

Morning News: Beginning of a New Economy? End of McCain's Hopes? Palin Comes in 2nd?

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When You Hit the Mother Load, Stop

JeanneSager — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:56:00 GMT

I’ve got a bone to pick with Republican Senator Richard Shelby. I’d never heard of him until banking went bonkers, and the Senate Banking Committee became the biggest topic inside the Beltway. But I’ve got one request for him.

Senator, would you kindly stop referring to Congress’ plan to right the listing banking industry as the “mother of all bailouts?” I’ve heard it more in a week than I heard “yadda” in the ‘90s. And really, what did we moms do to you?

Yeah, yeah, it’s just an expression. But how did “mother” become synonymous with something colossally bad? On behalf of all women who spent nine months ballooning to whale proportions, and another three years shedding the blubber, I ~~resemble~~ resent that remark!

You think I'm kidding? Thanks to my friends at The Free and Urban dictionaries, let me lay out the evidence:

The "mother load" - as in, an overwhelming amount of crap that you now have to slog through. Thankfully, your mother was a bit of a stickler about details. You'll thank her when you face this task.
The "mother of all . . ." - insert something particularly unpleasant here. Think, the mother of all hangovers. Well, your mother told you not to drink that much and think you could come crawling into her house at 3 a.m., didn't she?
"Motherf***er" - now come on, we have more taste than to sleep with the likes of that guy . . . really.

Excuse me, Mother Chocolate is calling.

Image: iBiblio.org

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Free Money!

Madeline Holler — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:28:00 GMT

Congressional leaders and the White House hammered out an agreement for a plan to send cold, hard cash to millions of American families sometime this year. The free money, which amounts to billions of dollars, is an effort to stimulate the economy and get American taxpayers to start shopping again.

Some details:

Individuals who pay income taxes would get up to $600, working couples $1,200 and those with children an additional $300 per child under the agreement. Workers who make at least $3,000 but don't pay taxes would get $300 rebates.

But there is a limit.

The rebates would phase out gradually for individuals whose income exceeds $75,000 and couples with incomes above $150,000, aides said. Individuals with incomes up to $87,000 and couples up to $174,000 would get partial rebates. The caps are higher for those with children.

Many experts attribute this recession/"recession" to a crashing housing market and imploding mortgage industry. So the leaders are trying to rig a fix in that area too, as a part of today's stimulus plan.

To address the mortgage crisis, the package also raises the limits on Federal Housing Administration loans and home mortgages that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac can purchase to as high as $725,000 in high-cost areas. Those are considerable boosts over the current FHA limit of $362,000 and the $417,000 cap for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's loan purchases.

Back to the free money. Under these terms, are you getting any? What are you going to buy? Or are you just paying off bills? Can you make it until June, which is the earliest, many suspect, the money could possibly be distributed?