Strollerderby : consumerism

Babble Talk: Would Your Kids Notice If You Put Their Toys in Storage?

Jen Chaney — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 16:28:00 GMT

We may be in the midst of a recession, but Americans still know how to accumulate a whole lot of stuff. If you've spent the past couple of days staring goggle-eyed at the mountains of toys under and around your Christmas tree, you surely will relate to Kevin Keck's Babble essay, in which he bemoans the endless number of playthings his children have amassed.

Being a forward-thinking father, Kevin tried to attack the problem by conducting a little experiment. After his son's fifth birthday -- a day when people showed up bearing more gifts than the kid could possibly ever need -- Kevin packed up all the presents and put them in storage. He says his boy never missed them. So over the years Kevin continued to place many of the toys his children received into storage. Consequently, he now has a palace of unused (dare I say misfit?) toys, a tribute to the generosity and, let's be honest, consumer-crazed tendencies of his friends and relatives.

I applaud Kevin's actions. And the reason I applaud them is that I know I could never do the same thing. You see, I come from a long line of hoarders, people who hang onto objects they didn't need in the first place and certainly don't need now but nevertheless can't bear to give up. I am sure that if I stowed away some of my son's Christmas presents, he wouldn't notice. In fact, I could probably bury several of them in the deepest depths of our basement shelves and that little boy would continue living happily, without developing even the slightest emotional scar.

But I would feel mean, probably because of all of that hoarding DNA. So I can't bring myself to demonstrate Kevin's bravery. What can I say? I'm a weak, weak mother with an unnatural attachment to Legos and Fisher Price playsets.

As you watch your kids playing with their new PS3 games or leaving Barbie accessories strewn around the house, are you considering the storage experiment? And if so, do you think you could go through with it?

Image: Maarten Wouters/Getty for Babble.com

Presents for Cheap—If You Can Sew

Miriam Axel-Lute — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 20:37:00 GMT

Ah, the holiday presents frenzy in the midst of economic hard times. A lot of us are feeling the squeeze—what are we to do? The good folks over at You Can Make This are here to help—kind of.

Specifically, the DIY site has launched a Thrifty 50 challenge, where you can follow along the escapades of 50 cheapskate over-acheiving black-belts in crafts who each appear to have devoted an entire room of their house to a "stash" of fabric, ribbon, and assorted other craft materials, making it deceptively easy for them to whip out clothes, bookmarks, centerpieces, and "door hangers" for practically no cost. (Am I the only one who's never heard of "door hangers"? They appear to be little pillows hung from ribbons on your doorknob for some reason. I don't get it. See picture.)

To be fair, some of the simpler, more useful ideas they're churning out do seem within the reach of a mere mortal like me, and some even seemed fun, but I still have to admit to being skeptical of the "super-cheap yet Martha Stewart" ethos. First of all, where in the world do they find the time for this? And secondly, the gift lists many of the 50 are trying to fill seem to contain not only multiple kids, but extended lists of in-laws and even kids' teachers (really!).

In recognition of these, um, ambitious, obligations, apparently participants don't actually have to come in under $50 total, as long as "some portion" of their gifts are under $50. Which means . . . what, exactly? That you're at least spending under $50 per gift? With all that time put in, I sure hope so. Otherwise it's a bit like New York magazine's idea of cheap. To be fair, reported actual costs per project so far seem to mostly come in well under $5, not counting depleted "stash," so even if the rules are lenient, these folks do knw how to stretch a dollar.

As for me, I'm torn: I like the idea of handmade gifts, repurposing things you already have, and not feeling guilty over not buying expensive crap. And I love the feeling of having just the right thing for someone. I do expect to be cobbling together a few pieces of decidedly unfancy dollhouse furniture for my kid this year, and I might pick up a few other ideas from these sewing ninjas.

On the other hand, I'm not sure that hanging on to the idea that we need to have the perfect, special, professional-quality thing for everyone we know plus the mailman, even when we're broke, is less stressful or less distracting from enjoying the holiday season than the mall-warrior approach. To me, I think "thrifty" is going to mean downplaying the presents mandate to its proper, small, part of the festivities.

More by this author:

Top 5 Gifts for a Real Man on Fathers Day

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:01:00 GMT

I mean, besides a blow job, a beer cozy and an autographed pre-20th anniversary edition of Steel Magnolias ...

What?

You expected a sports car too? Or a hall pass to Hooters?

Please.

This is the 21st Century. If you read any of your Sunday newspaper pullouts this weekend, you'd know the image of a real man has changed from those leather jacket days of that prototypical loner from Happy Days to someone more well-rounded, someone more accepting, someone who gently puts his fist to his chin, furrows his brow and thoughtfully declares, "Why yes, yes I would like a little somethin' somethin' but I'd also like some stemless wine glasses because they just look purty."

So this year, screw the countless stereotypes that say dads only want ties, golf clubs and snazzy pleated Dockers. This list reflects the evolving societal perception of dads as knuckle-dragging grunters whose vocabulary centers around words formed with the letters B-E-E-R and takes into account a Big Media shift that has finally learned dads, too, are more nuanced individuals.

1. Meat. Nothing says I love you like a box of steaks.

2. Fire. Imagine all the family time this fire box will produce!

3. Alcohol. Your very own bar! In your own house! How very exciting for you.

4. Boobs. Oh come on, he'll read it for the articles.

5. Tools. To fix anything burned by #2 or drunkenly toppled by #3.

-- Mike at Cry it out!

Budget Baby: What Gear Do You Really Need?

Amy Kuras — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:03:00 GMT

If you believe the hype, you could think you need to spend thousands of dollars and acquire oceans of crap to properly raise your baby – much of which you'll use once and discover your baby loathes it with all the fury a 10-lb. person can muster. One of the rituals of pre-parenthood is the requisite meltdown in Babies-R-Us when confronted with 30 different kinds of bottles and 50 different strollers, with no clue about what makes one better than the other.
But here at Budget Baby we're all about helping you resist the tide of crap while enjoying outfitting your little pumpkin. To that end, I liked this blog entry on Green Baby Guide on "Baby Gear I Lived Without."

I'll admit to some biases here, like that the author shares my distaste for those gliders every baby book and baby store insists you have to have. And as she acknowledges, what's a must have or a big waste depends on your lifestyle. Like, I found the big "travel system" to be an enormous waste of money and space. Similarly, I never had a bouncy seat with kid #1, but have actually found it a lifesaver with kid #2 so he can be somewhere off the floor and away from his marauding older sister.
Rebecca even claims she never needed a baby monitor. Honestly, we probably don’t either as our house is not so big, but in between my baby's (frequent) nursings I sleep like the dead and anything that will jolt me out of that sleep comes in handy.
Borrow what you can, is my advice, so if your baby loathes something you can just give it back. People love to unload baby gear, so don’t be afraid to ask.
My lifesaving splurges were not one but two Boppy pillows (one for each floor of the house, no less), a nice sling, and quite frankly a good bit of takeout. What was indispensable and what makes you shake your head and say "what was I thinking?"

Rock Out with Your Tots Out

Matt Wood — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 21:15:00 GMT

I have listened to so much children's music and heard so many cartoon earworms that when I whistle or hum, the theme-song to "Caillou" usually comes out before one of my favorite grown-up songs. After a while though, it just became background noise, the soundtrack for time when I'm with my son.

Apparently some parents can't stand it though, so instead they're snapping up lullaby versions of their favorite Metallica, Pink Floyd, and the Clash albums from stores like Rockabye Baby and Punk Rock Baby. And if the music isn't enough to proclaim your superior musical tastes, you can dress your kids in smarmy Sex Pistols hoodies and "I Hate James Blunt" t-shirts. "In these days of shows like 'American Idol,' the fear of having your children growing up listening to Britney [Spears] or Justin [Timberlake] makes it important to preserve the parents' taste within the offspring," crowed Ian Walker, founder of Punk Rock Baby.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: buying your kid neutered versions of rock music because you're afraid of exposing them to the real thing is so not punk rock. And neither is buying overpriced clothing to turn them into a pudgy, drooling accessory that attempts to validate your coolness. Rockabye Baby sells an album of Coldplay lullabies, for Pete's sake; how is that any different from the real thing?

Look, I can relent on the bedtime music, because "Smells Like Teen Spirit" could be a little jarring. But if you want to play your kid soothing music that doesn't suck, put on some Coltrane or one of Beck's alternating mopey albums. And as much as I hate to rely on Neal Pollack as an expert witness, you can't turn you kid on to good music too soon, else you'll be doomed to a life of Kidz Bop.

More Stuff for Father's Day ... Just Not for You

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 11:31:00 GMT

I mocked a dad for not wanting things for Father's Day. How could he not want a coffee mug? Or a tie? Or even crappy, home-made crayon art work? But now I'm guessing there's quite a few dads out there -- somewhere -- who value family, happiness and social awareness over more important things.

And that's where Changing the Present comes in. It's web site that lets you donate to important causes, instead of simply shelling out dough for bric-a-brac and lingerie this Father's Day.

For instance, for $50 you can de-mine a sports field. For $20, you can buy 8,000 pounds of carbon to offset something to do with the ice caps. For $75, you can provide healthcare to a needy person for a month.

The list of ultra-cool greeny gifts goes on and on -- and I'm beginning to think I might finally have found something better than stuff. (Note that I haven't vetted this site -- so do your homework before donating. But the idea was too good to pass up.)

Why Sustainable Living Feels So Expensive

Alisyn — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 14:01:00 GMT

Green living is often associated with wealth, but driving a Prius and shopping at Whole Foods aren't the only means by which families can reduce their impact on the planet. As this thoughtful and well-written article points out, many families can not afford to eat organic foods or buy fair trade products, but they shop sustainably (thrift stores, consignment shops), use public transportation, and simply buy - and use - less. Because they have to. And there's a lesson in that.

It's so easy to get caught up in the latest trends in clothing, cars, electronics, that we often forget that "the real question is not how expensive sustainable products are, but how our purchasing habits affect the global population and environment." In fact, in many ways, living a greener, more sustainable life is about living the way a less affluent family might - conserving resources like fuel, water, and electricity, riding a bike whenever possible, and growing eating home-grown fruits, veggies and herbs.

There's no denying that buying green costs more - from cleaning products, to food, to furniture and clothing - but as Tom Kemper of Dolphin Blue explains, when looking at a super store price tag, we are not seeing the true impact of our purchases reflected in the price. "Please also consider the cost of the loss of resources like habitat; loss of air quality because we use more energy and create more tons of emissions to make virgin-material products; loss of clean water because of unnecessary and excessive bleaching of paper; excessive reliance on oil because every time we don’t recycle and remanufacture a toner cartridge we use another pint of oil; and then, the associated costs to all of us through increased disease caused by pollution, and the transference of cost to each of us through healthcare premiums and medical care. If we now measure all these costs, which are only a portion of the true costs of 'business as usual,' then what are the costs of that cheap paper, or that non-recycled and non-remanufactured toner cartridge?"

Bottom line: buy less, and you can afford to buy better. Get it?

Single Parents Do It...Better?

Karen Murphy — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:03:00 GMT

As a single mom, I worry from time to time about the detrimental effect my singletudinousness is having on my kids. After all, it was my decision to "rip apart" their family in the pursuit of my own selfish happiness, thus ensuring me a continuous supply of guilt for the next 20 years or so, so shouldn't I just have continued to suck it up and deal for another, what, 13 years until the littlest turns 18? Yeah. Well. In another life, maybe. But like all parents, I still worry from time to time if I'm doing my best.

It turns out I could have simply done a little reading and felt much much better, because here's justification for the theory that there are some things that single parents have an easier time with:

1. Usually there's a lack of money, so buying expensive toys and maintaining a consumerist lifestyle isn't an issue. The kids don't feel cheated or deprived because they know the situation.

2. The kids have to be nice to you, because you're the only parent they've got. No playing one parent against the other (except in joint cusody situations, and that's a whole different kind of fun!).

3. You're more accessible that parent-couples are. The flip side is that it can become weird, with the kid standing in for the missing spouse, but assuming that's avoided, it can certainly be said that in general, kids see more of their single parents than they might of parents who are constantly jetting off to Bermuda or something. Since I work from home and can mantain a flexible schedule, when my kids are with me I'm fortunate to be able to be totally present for them.

4. Did I mention that money and "stuff" is less of an issue? You can't buy anything if you don't have the money. Which means that kids have to come up with more creative ways to entertain themselves. You can do a lot with a box of paperclips!

All styles of parenting are choices made for various reasons and under various cicumstances. Being a single parent might not be my first choice for my children, but it's what I have. Looking at itthrough the lens of what it GIVES the children instead of what they LACK because of it makes everything easier. It's good to know that there are positive ways of looking at ALL the choices, no matter what those choices may be.

My Very First Avatar

Kelly Mills — Mon, 07 May 2007 15:23:00 GMT

I guess there's this new thing called online communities that all the kids are into. Apparently they even have virtual worlds where you can adopt a persona called an avatar and do everything from slay demons with a broadsword to buy art using virtual money. What will they think of next?

Some very smart people realized that there's a market in creating virtual worlds for preschoolers. If you haven't heard, Webkinz are stuffed animals that come with a registration code, so you can log into the site and play with your stuffed animal in cyberspace. You earn virtual dollars by playing online games, which you can then use to buy things for your Webkinz doll. Think Sims for kindergarteners, with less of the frustration. You know, the kind you felt when your Sim was completely unable to score with any potential mates (I'm still bitter).

I am fairly anti-marketing for children, to the point where my child has seen maybe three commercials in her life and I think she believes her eyeballs will melt if she watches one all the way through. However, I'm not that freaked about this new development in kid consumerism. Because I recognize that toys are generally marketed to, well, kids, and my child is growing up in an age where virtual reality will be part of her life. We always try and practice critical thinking with advertising, pointing out marketing ploys, asking "Do you think the toy will do all that?" and having conversations about it. If Ganz is going to try and build brand loyalty, we'll discuss that, but with the current fickle climate at our house, I wish them luck in that endeavor. And I'm not particularly bothered by the fact that my child can play with her animal online, as long as we do it the way we do television and cake: in moderation. In fact, when my sister brought home a Webkinz animal, she and my child spent a nice hour poking around the site. Then my kid got bored and wanted to draw instead, while my sister spent the next three hours playing preschool games to earn enough money to buy a swimming pool. (Note to self: daughter is fine, but do not allow sister to play World of War-crack.)

Just so you know, I'm the permissive parent in the house, and if you think the Webkinz site is the devil's playground, feel free to share.

Slings for Rich Suckers

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 13:04:00 GMT

OK, people, I don't care how much your credit card limit has been extended this year or how faithfully you read Lucky magazine. Upping the price tag of baby gear every time a celeb shows up at Starbucks with a couture version is just not cool for the rest of us parents who shove coupons in our pockets every time we need diapers and sippy cups.

First, it was cheeky onesies and toddler tees. Then bedding. Now, slings have gone the way of the stroller, with brands popping up all over the place with ridiculously high prices.

I get the allure. Slings are cool. They were the secret to maintaining the shred of new mama sanity I had and I still rely on my slings to get myself, three suitcases, a car seat, a Pack & Play, two carry-ons, a purse, a husband and my kid through the airport. Slings helped me get my post-partum ass out of the house and sometimes, even get up off the couch for a sandwich and a glass of water while the ever-breastfeeding boy was latched on.Slings are a lot more ergonomic than lugging around an infant in an infant car seat. Slings are made up of gorgeous fabrics that ~~cover up~~ conveniently match the maternity jeans you'll be wearing for 6-8 post-partum months and are a handy conversation-starter with strangers at Target who feel comfortable asking questions like, "Your baby doesn't fall out of there?!"

But just because slings are all that doesn't mean that they need to be priced in the hundreds of dollars. Remember! There are women in other countries who carry their kids for years with a simple strip of fabric. They probably think my $50 pouch was a big old crazy "investment."

But what about for weddings, proms and other special occasions?, you ask. Sure, you want to snazzy up your baby-toting crunchy-granolaness. But do you really want to shell out three-hundy for a sling that you know you're going to spill a giant glass of shiraz all over when the baby startles when the Electric Slide song comes on? Or that the wee one is sure to spit up all over once you get really into the Electric Slide? Factor in a thirty-dollar-a-pop dry-cleaning bill and the price seems even more silly.

There are lots and lots of mamas out there earning a living by making gorgeous slings. And there are lots and lots of funky, kooky and fabulous styles. Hop on over here or here to find one that suits your style and your budget just fine. Take the extra bills and get yourself something you really need for carrying your kid around: a very quiet, very long professional massage.

Does Pooping While Playing Count as Multi-Tasking for Kids?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:04:00 GMT

When it comes to focus, I admit, I am not the best mama role model. I can't get through an episode of American Idol without IMing and I even (gasp) get up every few minutes from Play-Do to refresh the old in-box. I need the radio on while I drive and motherhood has made a master at putting on make-up while wiping a tush and talking on the phone to my single friends who actually wait for their mascara to dry in between coats. We all know that if we did one thing at a time, our kids would never get to school, we'd never answer work emails and we would really never see the outside world.

So is all this multi-tasking modeling the reason our tots are engaging in several activities at once, causing marketers to the mini-set to pump their fists and awkardly slap high-fives across cubicles? Are our kids natural over-stimulators or is multi-tasking a new skill set for the toddlers on up?

A report to media folk reveals that kids two to ten spend 25% of their time engaged in two or more activities at one time, justifying massive cross-platform marketing to kids into their tweens. Whether it will make your kid the greatest Dora consumer of all time or a highly successful VP of some type-A corporation, your precious child's ability to build and knock down a massive Lego tower while simultaneously filling his diaper without flinching shows mad skills. And maybe, you can pat yourself on the back for that.