Strollerderby : crabmommy

Like Your Kids? Don't Be So Smug!

Madeline Holler — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:57:00 GMT

Crabmommy? You lost me on this one.

I usually love Cookie magazine blogger Crabmommy's diatribes regarding rude mommies. She calls out moms who register for their children's birthday parties, she rolls her eyes at unsolicited advice. Crabmommy is just old-fashioned enough to remind you that you're not the only one who actually raises your voice and says "no" to your kids.

But her take on one mom's response to a compliment -- a compliment about said mom's child -- is just weird.

Here's the egregious scene Crabmommy had to endure:

Today I encountered a delightful, impish toddler at the grocery checkout. When I complimented the mom on her charming little daughter she responded with "Yup, we got a good one."

The offending statement? "Yup, we got a good one." Apparently, it's not gracious to acknowledge that you like your kid and are, indeed, fortunate. You're actually being smug.

Here's my question: what's the mom supposed to say? "Thanks"? But what does that mean? Isn't "thanks" redirecting the compliment about her child to herself?

Or should the mom have responded as women have long been trained to: "Nice dress!" "Oh, this old thing?" "You look great!" "Thanks, but check out this nasty muffin top!"

I can recall responding to compliments for my good-natured babies with stuff like, "oh, she has her moments," probably fearing exactly such a response, that I'd be thought of as boastful. When the kids got older, I realized they could hear the compliments -- and my response -- and running them down in the name of manners was just ... counterproductive? False? Weird? So I'm sure I responded with my own version of "Yep, we got a good one" more than once. Should I really have put strangers' feelings before my kids'?

How do you respond to compliments directed at your kids? Should the impish girl's mom have simply smiled? Said "yours too!"? Said "nahh, it's all an act, she's a complete asshole at home"?

What's rude about acknowledging you agree with the compliment, especially one aimed at a third party (not you, not the compliment-giver, but your kid)? And what's with complimenting children as if they're not there anyway? Next time, may I recommend that Crabmommy look right at the kid and say "hey, you're neat!" Leave the mom out of it.

Photo: publicradio.org

Birth Organs Gone Wild: Placenta Prints

Madeline Holler — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:01:00 GMT

An acquaintance of mine -- she's given birth four times -- hands over her babies' umbilical cords to her mother. Nana then waits for inspiration, shapes the cords accordingly and allows them to dry. Then she mounts them for wall hanging. And, you know, hangs them.

Me? I'm attached to my organs up to and through their practical utility, at which point I'm more than happy to let them go. Others -- clearly much deeper thinkers than myself -- find them artful.

Take, for example, the people behind this special find (thanks to Cookie Mag's Crab Mommy): placenta prints and placenta print-making kits! Quick, get Matthew McConaughey on the line!

No need to stop at inky footprints. And, indeed, that's a nice looking placenta!

What sort of afterbirth hangs on your walls?

Matthew McConaughey keeps placenta

Image: blissfulmomblessedbaby.com

A Nation of Wimps

Adrienne Martini — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Storytime! Grab your mats and blankies and listen close. Once upon a time, there was a college prof at a large state school who had one of her students corner her after class.

"Professor Martini," the student said, because that was his instructor's name. "Can you move the test on Wednesday?"

"No," said the professor, because she is mean.

"Then can you talk to my mom," the student said, holding his cell phone out. "She thinks that I have too much to study for on Wednesday and need to have something moved."

It's a true story, kids. Scary, isn't it?

But it's a story I keep coming back to when I read pieces about helicopter parenting, like this two-part interview with Hara Estroff Marano, author of Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting. Part one is on Crabmommy's Cookie blog. Part two is on Crabmommy's personal site.

I want to wave away all of Marano's points about hypervigilence and invasive parenting. Then I see myself trying to intervene in my kids' lives. And then I have conversations with my college students like the one above. Then I hang my head in shame.

So do you think we're becoming a "nation of wimps?"

Photo credit.

5 Exercises To Tackle the "Mom-Flap" Challenge

Kelly Mills — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:02:00 GMT

You know of this mom-flap? A.k.a. the spare tire, the c-section remnant roll, the muffin top. Crabmommy, who coined the term, is tired of hers and she has issued a challenge. Five minutes of abdominal exercises daily to banish the flap for good. She put out a call to her readers, and is now on week two, but not especially happy with how it's all going. And this is where a sister wants to help a sister out.

Yeah, I'm a fitness dork and a personal trainer, so I figured it'd be good to share some evil moves and a little strategy towards her goal. But first, I really, really have to emphasize something, even though it already came up in the comments thread.

You can't spot tone. Well, actually you can, but no one will see the fruits of your hard work if there is a layer of fat over the newly strengthened muscles. And the way to get rid of fat? There's a few, but most involve a combination of cardio exercise (running, biking, swimming, etc.) and nutritional choices. Oh, and for many of us, walking 20 minutes a day is not going to be sufficient for our goals. See, many of us hold fat in our hips and thighs, and many of us hold it around our middle, and wherever you hold it, it'll be the first fat to come back and the last to go. Sorry. Life's a bitch.

But that doesn't mean you should neglect the ab set, cuz stronger abs help your cardio and your whole damn life. It's your core strength. baby. So here's five minutes of hard core. And one more thing: Since lots of us don't get the aesthetic results we want, especially in the time frame we'd like, I am a big fan of setting stuff up so you also get to see your strength progress. It's positive feedback, and I sure need it.

Sooo, I'd do these exercises for time. See how many reps you can do, and try and shoot for more reps each week, or increase your time. Oh, and ask your doctor first, and never even think of suing me because I have NO money. And if you have diastasis recti (and you probably know it because you'll see a ridge or feel a separation between your abs) then really, go for a specialized program.

1. Do 30 seconds of full sit ups. If you can't do any, try having someone hold your feet. Work up to doing them with no one holding your feet. You can also use a weighted ball and bring your arms overhead while you lay flat, then use the momentum to help you get up. I know sit ups aren't in vogue, but hey, do the Pilates version if you can then. I still like them because you can crank them out fast, elevate your heart rate, and have lots of variations (while holding weight, slow, fast, legs flat, decline, and so on.)

2. Do 30 seconds of bicycle crunches. Bring your knee to your opposite elbow while you extend the other leg; then switch in a cycling motion. You should feel it in your obliques. It should be hard, and as fast as you'd go if you were actually cycling. Make it hurt. Yeah.

3. Do 30 seconds of straight leg lifts. Lay flat, and put your hands, palms down, under your back where your booty starts to support your back. Keeping your legs straight, bring them up to a 90 degree angle, then lower them almost to the floor. If this hurts your lower back, try bending your knees and decreasing the range of motion.

Repeat 1, 2, and 3.

4. Do 10 push ups, or as many push ups as you can. From your feet. Yes it is hard at first, and yes, it works your arms, but Crabmommy suggested it and I love the idea because you do have to hold your core tight for these. Consider the 100 push up challenge.

5. Hold plank for one minute. You can do this from the top of the push up position, or from your forearms. Abs tight. Have someone check you to make sure you are flat like a board, and not dipping your hips down or sticking your booty in the air. Add ten seconds every week if you can. Try side plank on alternate days for a super good time.

Extra credit: If you have a pull up bar or are at the park and see some monkey bars handy, hang from the bar and bring your knees up to your chest; then lower your legs sloooowly to avoid swinging and do the next rep without touching the ground in between. Go for 15. 20. Do the side version too. Have fun. This one is great for some folks with bad backs who have trouble with lower ab stuff.

Now go forth and dare people to punch you in the gut.

Momoscope Monday: Your Horoscope on Motherhood

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:31:00 GMT

Crabmommy writes a horoscope just for moms each month. I'd like to see one for Dads, but how many times can you read "today you might get lucky if you do the dishes" without getting bored? Here are a few choice selections for your Monday:

Aquarius: You're feeling guilty about the Pilates classes you missed. You're disappointed in yourself, especially since they have that great daycare right there for the baby. You're going to turn over a new leaf, though. You're going to go next week. And every week. So you say.

Capricorn: It's a shame that new mom friend's husband is such a pill. Honestly, it's like talking to a spoon, isn't it? Pity, since she's so lovely and her child and yours are such perfect mates. Oh well, at least he brought that great wine to the dinner.

Gemini: You've been flaking out on playdates. Your mom-friends are getting ticked. Flakemommy, mend your ways! Really, it's time to get that 2008 dayplanner.

For more horoscope go here...