10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

Cole Gamble — Tue, 19 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Great finds from Cracked.com

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Wanna know why daddy's always asleep sunday afternoon, a high life tipping out of his limp hand and pouring onto the floor? Or how about when daddy gets all worked up and strats yelling at ghosts. Children's books are a great way to help kids cope with real problems, but if daddy really is a raging alcoholic, you need more than a book, kid.

The House That Crack Built

Don't sell drugs, kids, or one day you'll live in a beautfiul mansion.

Hiroshima No Pika

Once upon a time we dropped an atomic bomb on Japan and no matter how many of their cars we buy they're still a little peeved about it. As Cracked writer Michael Swaim puts it,

And yes, this book for kindergartners is about that. According to the author, the book is based on a true account of a woman leading her child out of the A-Bomb’s blast radius while carrying her wounded husband on her back. According to the picture on the cover, it’s about women running topless through a sea of blood.

More throughly depressing children's entertainment here.

More Good Stuff:

Eating Your Baby's Placenta

Dumb Kiddy Product Makeovers

Disturbing Baby-Swinging PSA

20 Disturbing Baby Products

Brett Singer — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:40:00 GMT

I freely admit to a bit of jealously with this link, since it would have been nice to come up with it myself. That said, we have hit on a few of these in the past, such as the infant high heels, and the Thudgard helmet. And I had a note to write about the Pee-Pee Teepee at some point because, like, it's called the Pee-Pee Teepee. So we're still pretty damn cutting edge over here.

Many of the items on this list are so wacko that they really should be fake – such as the strap on nursing apparatus for men. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Zaky® Infant Pillow

Cue the Addams Family theme – this thing is both creepy AND kooky, and yes, altogether ooky. Who the hell buys one of these?

Hamburger Baby Costume

This is just funny. Especially since it looks to be designed for infants who don’t' get around so well.

Manual Snot Sucker

First of all, the product name is "Nosefrida". Second, it's described as "hygienic" despite the fact that you are connecting your mouth to your baby's nose via a tube. And third… well, just see number two. That should be enough.

Baby Mop

OK, look. I know its wrong. I do. But come on. Isn't this sort of a good idea, in a way? In a weird way? No? OK, OK, I'll cancel my order. (Really? You don't want one?)

Check out the full list at Cracked.com, which is a very funny site. For what it's worth, I used to read Cracked as a kid, when it was considered a lesser version of Mad Magazine. They've been back for a while now and so far it's good stuff.

source/images: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants, Cracked.com

Strollerderby : cracked.com

10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

Eating Your Baby's Placenta

Dumb Kiddy Product Makeovers

Disturbing Baby-Swinging PSA

20 Disturbing Baby Products

S&M Barbie

Hulk want puny blogger to review Hulk movie

Best of Droolicious: July 18 Edition

10 Signs You Might Need a Childfree Vacation

Man locks daughters in cage while he works