Strollerderby : cults

Bart Simpson-Scientologist

Brett Singer — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Telemarketing is annoying. Robocalls, telemarketing via robot, even more so. But a robocall that promotes a cult using the voice of a cartoon character popular with kids?

Very very bad.

Nancy Cartwright is the voice of Bart Simpson. She is also a Scientologist who reportedly gave more than $10 million to the religion/cult in 2007. (Wow. Voice acting pays better than I thought.) If she wants to give her money to an organization that promises to rid her body of aliens (or whatever it is that Scientologists believe), that's her right.

Nancy, however, wants more people to realize the benefits of Dianetics and giving your money away. Listen to this:

First I have to say that I have no idea what the hell she is talking about (man). "I'm now auditing on new OT VII." "OT" doesn't mean "occupation therapy"; it stands for "Operating Thetan." Which is "a spiritual state above Clear." Which means... you know what? I'm going to stop there because I don't even want to know. This stuff makes my brain hurt.

Why even write about this? Because it annoys me that Cartwright is using a character that kids might identify with to promote this nonsense. Personally, I think Scientology is a cult. But even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and call it a religion, it's still wrong. Obviously she thinks that using Bart's voice on the call is the equivalent of a kid running for student council president putting "Free Beer! Now That I Have Your Attention..." on her posters. (Which I think was something Homer did in a Simpsons episode.) Who is likely to be intrigued by hearing that voice? A kid who likes The Simpsons, right? "Hey dad! I just heard that the lady who does Bart Simpson's voice is going to be appearing someplace. Something about aliens. Sounds cool. Can we go?"

Is this line of thinking overwrought? Maybe. But Fox disavowed the call, so they clearly saw something wrong with it. I don't know if they can do anything to Cartwright; she didn't release a video with Bart's image or something else that was obviously a copyright violation. I hope that somebody sits Nancy down and explains to her that she's entitled to believe whatever she wants, but when she starts using Bart's voice to convince other people to believe in the same thing, she may find out that there are a lot of actors who can do a damn fine Bart Simpson impression.

(For lots of reasons why people think Scientology is not only creepy but dangerous, check out this site.)

Source: Gawker , Village Voice

Image: The Sun

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Brett Singer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:00:00 GMT

We've established that the whole Pokémon thing is a little weird. But we didn't know just how weird. Some episodes of the popular TV show were deemed too bizarre or offensive to be shown outside of Japan. The episode that actually induced seizures is the most famous but there are others. And thanks to YouTube, you can see them without traveling overseas. I'm including explanations for the uninitiated.

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Episode: "Miniryu no Densetsu"
First up is an episode where everyone appears to have a gun. Not futuristic Pokéguns. Real guns. With bullets. Which they threaten each other with constantly.

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Episode: "Some Enchanted Sweetening"
Next we have Meowth, a member of the bumbling bad guys Team Rocket. Meowth is the only Pokémon that speaks like a human (that is, he can say words that aren't variations on his own name.) In the show he periodically tells bizarre stories about "The Boss" of his team. This particular story involves "The Boss" running in the desert while slathered with honey, wearing nothing but a Speedo. Then a bunch of Pokémon, um, show their affection for him. In a very physical way. This time it was just the scene that was removed.

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Episode: "Beauty and the Beach"
The last, and by far the strangest, is one where, James, also of Team Rocket, suddenly appears in a bikini. With breasts. The context seems to be some sort of beauty contest. The subtitles read: "Aren't you a boy?" "What does it matter when I'm this beautiful? ... Wait until you're older and have these." There was no way to save this one; the entire episode was banned.

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BONUS: Pikachu gets busy

This isn't a banned scene (yet), and it appears to have been captured by someone pointed a cell-phone camera at the TV, but it's kinda funny anyway.

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Next time your little one plops down to watch the latest episode of his or her favorite show, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a peek and see what's going on. You know, just in case.

Scientology vs Pokémon

Brett Singer — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:15:00 GMT

Scientology is everywhere these days, from Tom Cruise's wacky video to actors claiming that the religion is responsible for their success in television. The general consensus is that (a) Tom is a kook, and (b) Scientology is weird. The same day I first saw Tom laugh maniacally and claim that he was "the only one who can help," I also listened to my son tell me, in great detail, about his current obsession, Pokémon. So I started thinking: what's weirder, Pokémon or Scientology?

There are some basic similarities:

Both words are made up, and were formed by combining two other real words (“Science+Technology” and “Pocket+Monsters”.)
Both have rabid followers (talk to a six year old about it sometime, and see if you don't consider, just for a second, having them deprogrammed.)

Here are some more comparisons between the religion and the kids' game:

	Scientology	Pokémon
Example of beliefs	The thetan (spirit) is described in Scientology as having no mass, no wavelength, no energy and no time or location in space except by consideration or postulate. The spirit, then, is not a thing. It is the creator of things —1956, Professional Auditor's Bulletin 85 (source: Wikipedia)	Players of the [Pokémon] games are designated as Pokémon Trainers, and the two general goals (in most Pokémon games) for such Trainers are: to complete the Pokédex by collecting all of the available Pokémon species found in the fictional region where that game takes place; and to train a team of powerful Pokémon from those they have caught to compete against teams owned by other Trainers, and eventually become the strongest Trainer, the Pokémon Master. (source: Wikipedia)
Sacred text	Dianetics	Pokédex
Sacred item	Deluxe Planetary Dissemination Edition E-Meter ($5500) (source: The New Yorker)	Trading cards, video games ($5 - $50)
Patron saint	L. Ron Hubbard	Professor Oak
Controversy	Some believe it to be more of a cult than a religion; outlawed in some countries	Episode of cartoon series caused seizures in children; has been attacked by religious groups for various reasons, including taking offense at the concept of “Pokémon evolution” (FYI, there is no “Pokémon intelligent design”)
South Park episode making fun of it	“Trapped in the Closet”	“Chinpokomon”

Bottom line: both are an obsession, both sound whack-a-doodle to the uninitiated, and both want your money. But Pokémon wants less of your money, and most kids grow out of it and/or move on to something else.
Maybe someone should buy Tom Cruise a Pikachu doll. Couldn't hurt, right?

Strollerderby : cults

Bart Simpson-Scientologist

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Wife Set Husband's Genitals On Fire, Charged With Murder, Endangering Life

Baby Bikini and Pregnant Man Top 2008 Weird News List

Kids Explain How Babies Are Made

VIDEO: O'Reilly Upset About Two Year Old Bashing Bush

Bizarro News: Flaming Squirrel Sets Elementary School on Fire

Video: Banned Pokémon Episodes

Scientology vs Pokémon