Strollerderby : custody battles

Breaking News - New Jersey Dad Wins Brazilian Custody Case

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:37:00 GMT

This is a strange story but the ending appears to be a happy one.

The details, from CNN:

- Sean's parents divorced and mom moved him to Brazil in 2004

- Mom died in childbirth in 2008, leaving Sean with stepfather

- Sean Goldman, 8, to be turned over to U.S. Consulate on Wednesday

Hilary Clinton even referred to the case yesterday, which is unusual. But so is the story itself.

If you want to get depressed before you get happy, read this letter that Sean's father, David Goldman, wrote at BringSeanHome.org. There's even ('natch) a Facebook group, with over 40,000 members. One more from the "get angry before you get happy" file: Sean's stepdad's lawyer compared the decision to allow Sean to return to the United States with being sent to a "Nazi concentration camp," according to a post in that Facebook group.

David Goldman is supposed to arrive in Rio de Janeiro this morning to pick up his son. Something tells me he won't be all that interested in sight-seeing.

Source: CNN

UPDATE: President Obama Issues Statement About Dr. George Tiller

Babble Talk Radio Live - Friday May 29 - Listen Here

Dad Wants Daughter Back Despite Negative DNA Test

JeanneSager — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:05:00 GMT

A text message from England told an Australian man the nine-year-old girl he always thought was his daughter isn't technically his daughter. The man's reaction? He doesn't care. He's still her dad, and he wants her back. Cue the tears folks.

An Australian newspaper reports the man (whose identity is being protected) was in college in England with the girl's mother when she became pregnant. Believing the child was his, he stepped up in terms of financial support and involvement in the girl's life. By the time the girl was two, the couple's relationship fell apart. The "dad" met an Australian woman, fell in love and got married. His ex-girlfriend stayed in England, but she too fell in love and got married. The man continued to make trips back to England to see his little girl, sending presents and letters. His mother, who still lives in the UK, remained involved as well - even stepping in to babysit.

But in the past year, the man says the girl's mother made it increasingly difficult for him to see their daughter. Packages and letters he sent to the little girl were returned unopened. His lawyer suggested a paternity test would give him grounds in a legal case to see his daughter more often. The hope was that the result would reopen the lines of communication between Dad and daughter.

But the DNA test came back negative. The girl's mom sent a blunt text message: "Got the results. Im sorry. I will sort out the birth cert + there will b no more contact. Sorry." She followed it up with legal papers, cutting off the man's financial responsibilities. Now he's being offered a refund for child support. But all he wants is his little girl. "She's still my daughter," he told the newspaper. It sounds like we've found the poster dad for that saying "any man can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad."

The hundreds of thousands of adopted children are evidence that a biological connection has nothing to do with the bond between a parent and a child. So is this really any different?

Image: The Mercury (paintings the little girl sent to her "dad")

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Top 5 Worst Diva Dads

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:14:00 GMT

Let's not just pick on the diva moms, shall we? What of those wealthy, fussy, self-absorbed papas out there? While they may not insist on private birth suites, or drench their faces in sturgeon roe, they have their own brand of outlandish entitlement and bad behavior.

Topping the list is Kevin Federline. He's got all the characteristics of diva dadness... massive wealth, microscopic talent, an astounding inability to grasp birth control basics, raging custody wars, etc. etc.

More diva dads after the jump:

2. Larry Birkhead -- Using children to become famous has never been easier.

3. Danny Bonaduce -- Naming your children Count or Countess anything is idiotic in the extreme.

4. Eddie Murphy -- Denying paternity is always a classy response to fatherhood.

5. Dean McDermott -- Leaving your wife and new baby for Tori Spelling says it all

Anyone overlooked???

Fat Guy Gets Go-Ahead to Adopt

Madeline Holler — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 21:27:00 GMT

A super overweight guy who was convinced that a judge denied him custody of his cousin’s son because of the man’s size has once again regained custody of the little boy.

Now the wheels are in motion for him and his wife to finalize adoption of the now 8-month-old, who the couple began caring for when he was 1-week-old.

The judge denies that the man’s weight was ever a factor in denying custody. At the beginning of the battle, he weight 550 pounds. Now, after a Dallas doctor offered free gastic by-pass, he’s 200 pounds lighter.

Instead, the judge says the man improperly moved the boy across state lines. He was born in Texas, but the family now lives in Missouri, where the case is being adjudicated.

The overweight man has been fighting to regain custody of the boy since this summer, when he was placed with another (skinnier?) family, also interested in permanent adoption.

I’m happy for the big guy and the little boy. Weight shouldn’t be a factor when deciding where to place children, particularly in places like Missouri! Jesus! In Missouri, food is love! So I’m glad this is being resolved. But now I’m sad for that other family.

Girl Returned To Birth Parents After Seven Year Custody Battle

Amy S.F. Lutz — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 23:12:00 GMT

I'm sure I'm not the only one secretly obsessed with tales of Adoption Gone Wrong. I don't know why - I'm not adopted myself, and I've neither adopted a child nor given one up for adoption. Maybe it's because these kinds of stories represent the breakdown of the family at its most extreme. Whenever I hear one, I have a good, cathartic cry, and go hug my kids, thanking God that no one can ever take them away from me.

Still, I don't think I've ever heard of a child this old being returned to her birth parents. Anna Mae He, an eight-year-old Chinese girl, was recently removed from the home of the American family with whom she had lived for the past seven years. Her birth parents are planning on taking her back to China shortly with her two younger siblings.

To be fair, it seems like the birth parents never thought they were giving up custody of Anna forever. When she was one, they accepted an offer from a Memphis couple to foster Anna while they struggled to find their financial footing. After a few months, the couple began the adoption process even though Anna's parents wanted her back.

The big question is, why did this case go on for seven years? I'm no legal expert, but it seems to me these types of cases need to be given top priority, and resolved with utmost speed. Experts report that Anna has handled her transition well, but I just don't believe a rupture this catastrophic won't leave significant scars.

Time to go hug the kids again . . .

Order in the Court: State Courts Offer Childcare

Amy Kuras — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 16:16:00 GMT

I'm sure all our Strollerderby readers are fine upstanding citizens who have never seen the inside of a criminal courtroom, and if you are divorced or had other business in family court, it all went amicably as could be. Right?

But for those of us who live in the real world, having to show up for court can be incredibly complicated. No one wants to drag their kids into the middle of a custody battle, or worse, but oftentimes court proceedings happen when they need to happen and a parent's usual childcare arrangements aren’t available.

That's why this article about New York State's establishing childcare centers inside courtroom buildings sounded like such a good idea I don’t know why all states aren't doing it. Prior to this, kids would be in the courtroom hearing everything, sometimes even sitting on the judge's lap while he or she heard cases.

Many of the children who come through the court childcare centers are poor, and workers there help families get hooked up with services such as Head Start or food stamps that they are entitled to but may not be receiving.
And the caregivers take their role as comforters of kids going through a rough time very seriously. Mercedes Robles, the director of the White Plains Center, even holds drives for school supplies and winter coats for children who may not have them.

"The children who come here, their families are going through crisis,” she said. “They don’t need to hear what’s going on between Mommy and Daddy in the courtroom environment. This is a happy place.”

Photo: New York Times

More Vegan Controversy: Can Kids be Vegan?

Karen Murphy — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 11:48:00 GMT

The quick answer, before I get to the controversy, is: Yes. They can. Sure, it takes some doing, but any diet that doesn't consist of simply opening up bags and boxes and heating things in microwaves takes some doing. Most people I know who are vegans are also fairly well educated on nutrition and things, unlike the sad couple whose baby died recently from being fed only a diet of apple juice and soy milk. But I don't really consider them at all in the same league as Gayle Nelson-Folkersen, the subject of this most recent controversy.

What's going on with Gayle and her children is this: she's the mother of ten-year-old quintuplets who have been raised on a vegan diet. Gayle and husband Jeff are going their separate ways, and his court bid for custody of the kids attacks their marital lifestyle and the way the kids have been raised. Frankly, this one hits kind of close to home for me, since I went through something similar a year ago, and my stuff isn't even over yet. But that's me.

What concerns me most here is that the public's fear of veganism, fueled by lack of information and media uproar (like with the clueless and dangerous couple mentioned above) is being used as a weapon in the court system. I'm not qualified to speak about the Nelson-Folkerson's situation, which I'm sure contains far more facets than any of us are interested in knowing about, but all of a sudden you just have to utter one word, "VEGAN" and everyone becomes quiet, like it's something awful and bad for children.

And that I'm not good with.

Britney to K-Fed: Thanks for the Babies. You Were the Biggest Mistake of My Life

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 11:11:00 GMT

The ongoing car wreck of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's divorce might be blessedly drawing to a close. With reports that the two reached a settlement (Spears will pay Federline $13 million), it's looking likely that they (and their kids) might now be able to move on, or at least move to the second page of gossip rags.

Other details include shared proceeds from the sale of the $13 million mansion in Malibu, Spears to pay $25,000 per month for child support, and a shared custody arrangement with Federline having the boys four days a week and Spears having them three.

Divorce and custody negotiations and arrangements, no matter how many dollars flow back and forth between estranged spouses always seem especially tragic when such young babies are involved. Let's hope this allows both parents to move on and prioritize their children's happiness.

Dying For Britney News? K-Fed Brings the Kids for a Visit

Karen Murphy — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:48:00 GMT

I'm still astounded as to how Kevin Federline is coming through this looking like an upstanding citizen, a good dad, and a nice guy. Hey, maybe he is?? Apparently he brought the kids to see their mom over the weekend, taking Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden, 5 months, to celeb rehab center Promises Saturday night. Which marked a very different kind of Saturday night for Britney compared to the ones she's been having. I'm pulling for these two, and for their kids. Maybe this is just the kind of crisis they needed, not to be a couple again but maybe to figure out who they each want to be. Or just to grow up.

Bizarre Just Won't Go Away: Michael Jackson Sued By Woman Claiming She's the Mom of His Kids

Karen Murphy — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:10:00 GMT

[Yawn] After all the Britney excitement, this little tidbit about His Weirdness Michael Jackson seems hardly noteworthy. But listen! I think the names in this fiasco make it entirely worth it. Some woman named Nona Paris Lola Jackson (do you think the name's made up? do you? it has to be, right?) is claiming to be the mother of all three of Michael Jackson's kids, whose names, if you've forgotten like I had, are Prince Michael I, Paris, and Prince Michael II (aka "Blanket"). Coincidence that the woman has the same last name as Michael Jackson? I think not! And surely little Paris must have been named after ~~this crazy woman~~ the woman claiming to be her mother (Paris is a girl, right? there's a girl? I can hardly think straight knowing that K-Fed finally has custody of the kids, oops, wrong story!), right?

So this Nona "Jackson" is suing to get a piece of the custody pie now being decided between Michael and his "wife", er, ex-wife, shill, whatever, Deborah Rowe. Nona Jackson claims she has written over 3,000 songs for Michael (definitely proof she bore his children, I say), and that they have been a "sexually active couple" for a long time. Ew. I don't EVEN want to go there. At any rate, apparently the judge is dubious. As well he should be.

K-Fed Makes His Move: Emergency Custody Hearing Today

Alisyn — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 13:17:00 GMT

No matter what the reasons are behind Britney Spears' madness, it is clear that she needs help - help caring for herself, and help caring for her children. After ditching rehab for the second time in a week, Britney show no signs of slowing down, or taking responsibility for herself or her family.

Enter Kevin Federline. K-Fed and his lawyers have asked an L.A. County judge for an emergency hearing to be scheduled today, February 21, to discuss the custody of his and Britney's sons, Sean and Jayden.

The November court order that granted Britney primary physical custody of the boys, with Kevin receiving visitation rights, expires next week. It is possible - dare I say, likely? - that in light of Britney's heartbreaking descent into oblivion, Kevin will gain primary custody of their sons. And I say good luck to him. Perhaps losing custody of her sons will be the catalyst Britney needs to get herself straightened out...? I sincerely hope something gets through to her, before it's too late.

K-Fed May Get the Kids

Karen Murphy — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:47:00 GMT

Well, duh. Certainly the responsible and upright behavior exhibited by Britney Spears lately isn't going to look good in custody court, but it's pretty sad when Kevin Federline starts to look good, even if it's only by comparison to Bald Brit.

K-Fed appears to be using Britney's recent bizarre behavior wisely, keeping on the down-low (or muzzled by handlers) so as to appear responsible. The whole thing makes me pretty ill, really, and I echo MetroDad's sentimen t when he lamented for these poor kids, who you know are going to need years of therapy to sort out this mess one day. Just file it under Parenting Without a License.

And remind me again? Why are we still talking about this? Oh yes, it's the rubbernecking theory: you just can't pass by a twisted, smoking heap of charred metal without at least a glance.

Lesbian Custody Battle Wages On

Patti — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 13:00:00 GMT

The family court division in Rutland, Vermont is enforcing the child support order it imposed upon Janet Jenkins, who is currently locked in a bitter custody battle with the biological mother of her child, Lisa Miller. Jenkins and Miller conceived their child, which Miller carried, via IVF during their year-long civil union. They dissolved the union after Miller renounced her homosexuality and moved to Virginia with their child. Jenkins has been duking it out with her ex ever since.

Virginia currently refuses to recognize Vermont's jurisdiction over this matter, and Lisa Miller has enlisted the support of the religious right in her fight to gain full custody of four-year-old Isabella, retaining as her legal representation Liberty Counsel, who also represent the Exodus "gay rehabilitation" organization.

As we all know, if Janet Jenkins were a man, Virginia would probably be recognizing the hell out of Vermont's jurisdiction. And if this were a messy heterosexual breakup, we'd be calling what Lisa Miller is doing "kidnapping".

All's Fair In Love and War?

Karen Murphy — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 13:04:00 GMT

They say that the wheels of justice turn slowly. Sometimes, they don't turn at all. Take the case of Rochelle Kidd. Rochelle, a mother of four in Ohio, trusted her social worker Na'Sheema Hillmon and relied on things she advised her to do. Like give up custody of her children to her former husband. Na'Sheema evidently told Rochelle that the court would likely award the children to the husband anyway, so why not save everyone the trouble and just give them up?

Later, when Rochelle found out that NaSheema married Rochelle's former husband, she must have felt awfully foolish, but it was too late.

I'm having problems keeping my brain from leaking out my ears here, since it exploded when my bubble burst. You mean the court system might not be...impartial?

Justice? I beg to differ. Impartial? Improbable.

Father's Rights: Part II

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 13:18:00 GMT

As previously discussed on Babble, father's rights groups have made a name for themselves in Britain climbing the Tower of London dressed as superheroes, but in the States, a more low-key approach has been used to mixed effect.

Groups such as the American Coalition for Fathers and Children have lobbied hard to get legislatures, the courts, and the public to recognize the impacts divorce has on all parties, particularly fathers. Like other father's rights groups, the ACFC's mission includes eliminating gender bias in the legal system, and the importance of both parents in the emotional and psychological development of their children. And like their British counterparts, this group identifies equal shared parenting as the optimal arrangement for all involved, rather than the current standard of deciding custody based on the best interests of the children.

Regardless of what you feel is "fair" and "optimal" vis a vis shared parenting, the advantage of using the "best for children" test to decide custody is that it requires placing the child's needs before those of the parents. I find it hard to believe that 50% custody (one week at mommy's house followed by one week at daddy's house) is optimal for as many children as many father's rights groups claim. It doesn't pass the laugh test (small infant spends one week with Dad then one week with Mom), let alone the basic developmental and attachment needs of small humans.

There is no question that fathers and mothers are crucial to raising healthy attached children. There is also no question that divorce has an impact on children (much of it negative). But to throw out the current standards of family law in favor of a utopian ideal of fairness, is throwing the baby out with the bath water.