Strollerderby : daddies

Daddy Types on Daddy Tempers

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:59:00 GMT

I've been a big fan of Elisha Cooper since reading his great essays on his first year of fatherhood. Crawling is a must read for new parents. And I've also been a huge fan of Greg over at Daddy Types, so to see the two engaged in an online interview was like finding a plateful of naptime cupcakes all for me. Intelligent cupcakes. Mmmm.

In a semi-wide-ranging interview (next time more questions please!) tackling everything from over-blog exposure of our little ones to daddy tempers, the interview is a good start before you run out and buy Crawling. Sounds like paperback is out. You won't be disappointed.

Family Leave: Two Dads Tell Their Stories

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 13:23:00 GMT

I hope all of you out there enjoying your lattes and tuning out Dragon Tales are ready to hear this: Some states in our fair union are actually granting paid family leave. And get this, even men can get it.

I know, I know. It's all a bit much, isn't it? Validating men who actually want to stay home to feed babies pumped breastmilk, answering a thousand or more questions an hour and experience the wonderment of child-rearing in its purist, poopiest and sweetest moments. Giving them a portion of their paycheck so the family doesn't have to subsist on grandparent handouts or college tuition savings accounts for papa to be in the picture. Or even (and this might be sort of a stretch) wiggling out the bricks of the big old wall of the patriarchy (and some playgroups) where women return to work after becoming mothers or parents actually equitably share the primary caregiving responsibilities. It's a crazy world, or at least left coast.

This inside view of how dads in two families in California are making it work during family leave time is sweet and honest and a damn good appendix to my long list of reasons why I hope Obama works his charm on parenting issues here in Illinois before heading to the big house. Seriously, I want my husband home when we (eventually) have a second child and I don't think he should suck up his sick time or vacation time or our savings to be there. And if by some Democratic miracle it ever does happen, the only thing I'll worry about is what kind of clothes he's picked out for the defenseless child to wear all day.

Paid Family Leave: Two Dads Tell Their Stories

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 12:03:00 GMT

Because Every Day Should Be Father's Day

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 14:54:00 GMT

If I had known Father's Day had actual, real-life winners, I would have done a better job as a dad. Because nothing inspires me to be a good dad like free stuff -- especially when the stuff involves books. By my favorite authors.

But, alas, this year, I'm a loser. (To which my wife responds, "This year?")

The author of the hilarious book of parenting essays "Daddy Needs a Drink" awarded three signed copies to readers who best showed what it means to be, or have, a dad. And because Robert Wilder hasn't gotten enough Babble love recently, I thought I'd share the winning stories -- because the first two are true gems. The third ... well you can read for yourself.

Congrats to the winners! And thanks to Wilder for giving us one more crack at Father's Day.

Strollerderby Playdate: San Francisco Dads

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:01:00 GMT

One of my favorite dad bloggers, Doodaddy, just came out of the closet. He hid his secret life so well, but you can only ignore nature for so long. So, he did what he had to do. He told his wife.

"Honey, I'm a blogger."

Good for you, Doodaddy!

If you haven't been reading him, check him out right. now. Doodaddy shares his life as a stay-at-home dad in San Francisco with honesty and humor and plenty of late nights. Thankfully, he's not alone.

There are plenty of great dad bloggers in Baghdad by the Bay, even if the best of us struck out for warmer climes not too long ago.

Henri's Corndog and Rootbeer details what it's like to spend all your takeout money on childcare. And he's got fabulous, fabulous photos and captions.

It's not a blog, per se, but Great Dad still has wonderful resources for SF dads and those in other areas, too.

Daddy Dialectic is a great dad co-op featuring the best in current events and parenting insight.

Wired's Geekdad offers the best in ultra-cool gadgets. And snark. I love it.

I know I'm missing many, many others. So if you know any great dad bloggers in San Francisco or the Bay Area, please list them in the comments. I promise to buy them a drink. So long as they buy the next 32.

True Dad Confessions: I Want a Hooker

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:55:00 GMT

Sometimes I just want a hooker. I love when my wife does that thing with her little finger. My son gave me a card and I cried. Work is kind of like my vacation.

Holy sweet lord, man -- I am loving True Dad Confessions! Brought to you by the same people behind True Mom Confessions, the web site lets a dad anonymously post confessions -- and I'm digging what appears to be a glorious consummation of catharsis and rubber necking.

Some gems include:

I wish my wife would just leave. But the kids are staying.

I wish the kids would go to bed so my wife ad I can have round two of great uniterupted sex! YEE HAW!

My own kids annoy me! Why did I not put that condom on? I was so stupid for my 15 mins of "fame"!

These are among the more sanitized comments. Seriously, you should check it out. There are some messed up dads out there, and it's quite possible you're married to one of them.

Though I have to admit that after reading a few score comments, I began to feel something along the lines of shame or pity or maybe just sadness. There is all sorts of wife-hating -- serious, scary wife hating -- going on, so I was pleased to remember that moms have a confession outlet, too.

Or maybe that's just the genius of the site? If a dad actually gets it off his chest, he doesn't need to puff his own at home? I hope that's the case.

Of course, it's not all scary. Far from it. A lot of the confessions are downright hilarious. And insightful. From all the comments, I've learned that dads seem to enjoy the blow job. Huh.

(True Dad Confession: I wrote half of those last ones. But thank god for anonymity, right? ... oh.)

What Every Dad Needs: iPod Boxers

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:15:00 GMT

I've been banging my head against the wall with this Father's Day gifts article, trying to figure out why any dad needs an iPod pocket for his boxer shorts. Phone, I understand -- because at least a phone will vibrate. But an iPod? Can you imagine adjusting the volume or changing the song in public?

"Don't mind me," says man with hands down pants, "I'm just bringing on the noise." Ummmm, OK?

Of course, I'm sure there are a lot of guys who spend a fair amount of time in little more than their Underoos, so the thought of finally having a place to store an iPod is like a gift from god. I don't know who those guys are, but I will not be asking for song recommendations.

[Photo courtesy of Mike Adamick Self Portraiture and Other Dreams Co.]

Pregnancy Parting Gifts: The Push Prize for New Dads

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:54:00 GMT

Articles about being a "good dad" always seem to trigger my gag reflex. I'm under the impression that any dad actually reading an advice article is involved already and doesn't need to hear sage advice like, "Be involved!" If he didn't care, he wouldn't be searching out information.

So he needs real advice -- not the same tired cliches he's read a million different times in a million different places. Be an active participant. Plan ahead. Think about money. Gee, ya think? Does anyone really need to be reminded of these things?

Thankfully, I've wandered upon a new and wonderful piece of advice for dads leaving the hospital with their newborns: Don't forget to ask for your parting gift.

Your wife will be tired, so it's up to you to ask the nurses for your very own 2007 NESTLE GOOD START Limited Edition Backpack -- just what every new family needs.

It seems the author of some popular daddy book has teamed up with formula maker Nestle to create a new web site called Very Best Baby -- and also to remind dads that they could received door prizes that go beyond stolen hospital blankets. (Come on, who doesn't swipe those things?)

The Nestle backpack includes formula, feeding information, a changing pad and an instructional DVD to walk parents through their baby's first few days -- as if any parent in the world could operate light machinery like a DVD player in a baby's first few days.

Still, I'll give Nestle credit. This isn't the same ol' dad advice. It is, somehow, creepier.

You Tube Goodness: Father's Day Tribute

Karen Murphy — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 11:51:00 GMT

Nope, it's not too soon to be thinking about Father's Day, at least not if you're Seattle-area Internet company Efinancial.com, which has put together a video tribute of dads and daughters from across America (some, apparently, from the 1970's!). WARNING: SACCHARINE ALERT!! If you have an allergic reaction to sweeteners, you may find this a little sappy for your taste, and you may wish to replace the soundtrack of "Daddy's Little Girl" sung by R&B recording artist E. Walter Smith and American Idol contestant Tatiana McConnico with something more to your liking, but all in all there are some moving images here of dads and their little girls.

Roadside Birth Ends with Two Babies; Dad Is One of Them

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:32:00 GMT

Barbara and Matt Helmer got a surprise when their new boy, Christopher, decided to make his debut a month early. In the car. On the side of the highway. A 911 transcript captured Matt's bravery and overwhelming sense of calm during the birth of his child.

"I'm not doing too good with this," he told a police dispatcher. "I might pass out." Thankfully the paramedics arrived in the nick of time, delivering little Christopher while Matt probably thought about buying a faster car.

The sad thing here is the complete lack of respect little Christopher has for his dad. Doesn't the newborn know his dad gets queasy? Couldn't he have waited just a few more minutes? Kids these days ....

The roadside birth didn't seem to bother mom Barbara, however. She doesn't recall much about dad's meltdown. "I didn't even have time," she said. "All I did was scream."

Finally! Real Advice for Good Dads, Bad Dads

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 09 May 2007 20:27:00 GMT

I can't even begin to tell you what a loser I felt like for not finishing the first page of "The Expectant Father" -- the supposed bible for new dads. I must have received five copies of the damn thing, and four of them wound up as drink coasters. For the life of me I can't find the fifth, but I imagine it has long since found a new home among discarded diapers or wherever it is I left the baby.

So it's always good to run across a new dad book that offers more than the goody-goody, "don't drop the baby or, gasp, curse! in front of her" advice. Enter David George, author of "Good Dad, Bad Dad, Do's and Don'ts from the Trenches" -- an irreverant and practical guide for new dads.

Here's the money quote: "You may be a dad, but you're still a guy," George told the Arizona Republic. "Minivan equals mini-man."

George lost his own father when he was a baby, so he didn't have a strong role model when he became a father. He hopes the book will provide some real-life examples for others, as well as a little humor -- which any new dad will definitely need.

While I disagree with some of his answers in this interview -- food on the floor is still food, buddy, and really? No college savings? -- his philosophy on dads and daughters is spot on, and his love for baseball as a first pro-sport activity is just so goshdarn, I don't know, endearing. And it's refreshing to find someone saying, "Chill out, don't try to be perfect. Just be there." Or something along those lines. I'd buy that.

Man Wears Pregnancy Suit to Know What It's Like to be Woman: Cynical Women Everywhere Roll Eyes

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:32:00 GMT

Here's how he begins: My name is Kevin Burke. I’m a husband and a dad who is curious, humble, and passionate about finding ways to help moms. He blogs at Light Iris Blog about his experience (since April 13th) wearing a pregnancy suit. He wants to know what it's like to be pregnant and he wants to help moms.

He is either the cleverest man in the universe who has just scored himself about 1 million female admirers or he's just a purely wonderful person with 100% un-agenda-like devotion to gender understanding. Admittedly, I'm likely to be in the former camp. And my first thought was similar to someone sauntering up and asking me my astrological sign in a bar (something like, "get lost, idiot").

Never. The. Less. Cynicism is amusing but bad for the human heart, so I took a look and you know? This guy isn't half bad. In fact, he tastes an awful lot like chicken. Seriously, though, this guy isn't a johnny-come-lately to the 'understand women' thing. He started a marketing firm to help companies market to women, for golly gosh sakes.

I believe this guy is true blue. Men, you should pay attention. This guy is probably getting more loving than any of you have seen in years!!

Strollerderby Playdate: Addicted to Moms

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 02 May 2007 11:05:00 GMT

Almost 28 days later, I'm still addicted. To blogs. Good blogs. Mom blogs. A few weeks ago I told you about a few great parenting blogs that I have to check out every day. Needless to say, that's not all. I promised back then that I'd give you more, so here goes:

First up, Radioactive Girl -- who I swear writes about cupcakes just to taunt me. And then runs, runs like crazy.

Jenny Blackburn is Absolutely Bananas -- and I mean that in a really, reallly good way. She also blogs here.

If you haven't checked out A Child is Born, you don't know what you're missing. And you're dumb. I got hooked after reading this and feeling, somehow, like she knew my family.

It's a little difficult to write about DooDaddy in a post about moms -- but I do check him out every day and you should too. So get on it, slacker!

And if you've got a moment, stop over and see the other Radioactive Girl -- a kick-ass mom who needs more than a little support in the next few days.

And no, that's not all. Thankfully there are a ton more hot mommies out there to keep me occupied. Watch for more next week.

At-Home Dad Numbers Soar -- Rock On, Pops

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 11:09:00 GMT

When I tell people what I do with myself these days, I generally get two responses. "No, seriously, what do you really do?" is one of them. The other is a look of envy, followed by a cluck of the tongue and a wistful glance skyward. "Oh man, I wish."

More and more at-home dads could be facing this same conversational dichotomy. Rebel Dad points out new Census figures that show the number of at-home dads is rising -- from 147,000 in 2004 to 159,000 in 2005. (The Census is slooowwww with new figures, it seems.)

Sure, we take a good-natured ribbing every now and then. People just don't understand our deviant lifestyles, I suppose. But that's fine. It's worth it.

I never thought I would stay home with a kid. I was all about the career -- moving up, moving forward. Working. Working. Working. For a few weeks after I first began staying home, I wondered if I made the right decision. I was accustomed to a fast-moving lifestyle, deadlines and the camaraderie of a workplace -- even if we only talked about "Office Space" all day long.

But over the next few months, I found myself by her side when my daughter took her first steps. I saw her perform her first sign -- "bird," she said with her fingers. I even grew to enjoy changing her diaper -- when we sing songs and clap our hands. Sure, she can drive me batty sometimes, but she knows I'm there if she just needs to sit down for a bit and hug.

It's been about seven months now, maybe eight. I've lost count. But I can't think of anything else I'd rather do. I hope the growing ranks of at-home dad feel the same.

Dad Time Only Seven Hours a Week?

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 13:25:00 GMT

Back in the 1960s when dads were expected to knock back a three-martini lunch before closing a deal on whatever it was they closed deals on, dads spent a whopping two and a half hours a week with their kids doing kid things. Going to the mall. Going to the park. Buying ice cream. Kid things.

According to a new study, daddy and kid time has increased dramatically in the past four decades ... to seven hours a week. Dads aren't slouches, the study says. They're, you know, dads.

Still, seven hours. A week? That seems low -- even if my world view is skewed as a stay-at-home dad. I see dads all the time doing kid things, and I'd like to believe they're doing it more than a nominal seven hours a week.

I know dads who re-arrange their schedules, their lives, just to get in a few extra hours of kid time. One friend even went looking for a less glorious, less time-constraining job just to be there.

I'd hate to think kids get dads to themselves for just seven hours a week -- seven hours out of 168. Dads are just too cool. Some of them anyway.

Poop In The Tub? No Problem, says DadLabs

JasonAvant — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:15:00 GMT

If you haven't dropped by DadLabs, do it. Now. I'll wait.

See? The site's great, a consistant source of helpful and humorous hints for dads (and moms), and among the best features are the video vignettes starring the site's founders, Brad and Clay. This week, they offer up a doody - er, doozy. The boys talk about Tub Time, and offer up some great advice on the do's and don'ts of giving your baby a bath (I had no idea that the rubber ducky and his ilk posed a potential health risk; now I get to marinate in some top vintage Parenting Guilt). The highlight of the segment is a primer on how to deal with the dreaded bathtub dump. I won't spoil anything, but fans of canned chili may lose their enthusiasm for Dennison's and Hormel after watching.

We were lucky; Lucas never actually pooped in the tub. I'd like to think that if he had, we'd approach the crisis with the same calm and collected demeanor exhibited in that clip. Because we've all seen what can happen when poop and bathers mix, and it ain't pretty.

Friendless with Kids: Trying to Find Your People Can Be Tough

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:03:00 GMT

When you get married, finding other couples with whom you have great friendship chemistry isn't easy to do. Finding a couple with kids with whom you share laughs, is even harder. I've hosted way too many dinner parties where all the parents sit and talk about their kids and diapers and toilet training and it makes your head hurt after awhile.

But the real issue is a shared approach to parenting and knowing when to cease all kid-speak. If someone talks incessantly about diapers and pee pee, I lose interest quickly. I live in a small town two hours North of Seattle and perhaps that's part of the problem. If you want to discuss the many health attributes of wheat-grass, this city is for you. If you want to meet silly laid back parents who drink (DRINK) in front of their kids, stay away.

Apparently, I'm not alone. Creative-Type Dad discusses the difficulty of finding like-minded parents with whom to socialize. Since he and his wife had their daughter, they still enjoy their kidless friends, but want to meet other parents so they can occasionally talk about kid-stuff without encountering incomprehension and glassy-eyed stares. So he was quite discouraged when his new friends stood he and his wife up at the Baby Loves Disco party in their town.

Chemistry and philosophies of childraising aside, there's also the small matter of being busy and tired and beleaguered, which makes developing friendships even harder. I've become quite used to relying on my virtual friendships to fill the gap, but you simply can't replace the joy of laughing out loud and long with another live human, especially if that person is a parent.

[Picture: Natalie Dee]